Become the Force

Patience you must have, my young Padawan.

Yoda, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Once you begin to tap into the living life Force – the loving glue that binds everyone and everything together – you become limitless potential and experience the most indescribable joy. However, just as night always follows day, you can’t have joy without sadness, or light without the dark side of the Force. Jediism does not deny the existence of the dark side. Instead it recognizes and accepts that, for reasons we can’t understand, the dark side both within and around us is a reality we need to face with courage. It offers applied living techniques to help us navigate our way through the storm and grow wiser in the process.

I deliberately avoided focusing on the dark side of the Force until this point in the book because in my own life I have found that the best way to manage the dark side is not to give it the spotlight. That just fuels or feeds negativity and makes it grow stronger. However, a wise Jediist must be aware that darkness exists and be able to recognize it when it strikes so he or she can learn from it and then move forward with greater selfawareness. The dark side thrives on attention and addiction. Starve it of both and it will have no power over you. This profound life lesson was something I had to learn the hard way.

THE GROCERY EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

In 2009 I found myself making national newspaper headlines again – but this time for all the wrong reasons. Here’s the Guardian feature headline:

“Jedi religion founder accuses Tesco of discrimination over rules on hoods”

Pretty attention-grabbing! Things got worse with the rest of the feature.

“Tesco has been accused of religious discrimination after the company ordered the founder of a Jedi religion to remove his hood or leave a branch of the supermarket in North Wales.”

Yes, I really did make an official complaint. Not only did that complaint end up in the Guardian newspaper and other British national newspapers, it went right up to Fox and CNN TV news as well. After the 2008 Star feature and the explosion of interest that followed, things had finally started to settle down for Jediism in terms of media interest but suddenly I was back in the intense glare of the spotlight.

The Guardian feature went on to describe the unsavoury incident with great relish, accompanied by pictures of me in my hood looking particularly defiant, mean and moody. Looking at those pictures now, I’d probably ask myself to leave the supermarket.

“Daniel Jones, founder of the religion inspired by the Star Wars films, says he was humiliated and victimized for his beliefs following the incident at a Tesco store in Bangor. The 23-yearold, who founded the International Church of Jediism, which has 500,000 followers worldwide, was told the hood flouted store rules.”

Yes, those were my words. I said I was “humiliated and victimized” because while out doing some grocery shopping and minding my own business I was told to remove my hood or leave the store. I looked around me and saw a man wearing a hat and a woman wearing a scarf and another wearing a burkha. I lost the plot. At the time it felt like stereotyping because I was a young male with a hoodie and piercings. I was puffed up with anger and hurt pride, and before I knew it things had spiralled out of control. Tesco defended its policy and what was ironic was that they defended it by referencing their obvious fondness for Star Wars. I can see all that irony now but at the time all I saw was my anger.

“But the grocery empire struck back, claiming that the three best-known Jedi Knights in the Star Wars movies – Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker – all appeared in public without their hoods. Jones, from Holyhead, who is known by the Jedi name Morda Hehol, said his religion dictated that he should wear the hood in public places and is considering legal action against the chain. ‘It states in our Jedi doctrine that I can wear headwear. It just covers the back of my head,’ he said. ‘You have a choice of wearing headwear in your home or at work but you have to wear a cover for your head when you are in public.’”

Yes, in the early days of Jediism I did give guidelines about clothing, and one of them strongly recommended wearing a hood in public to cover the back of the head.

At the time I felt that it was important for my followers to have a sense of collective identity and that is why I made the recommendations. Today there are no such clothing requirements as I’ve realized that placing emphasis on external or material things in this way simply isn’t the way of the Jediist because what a Jediist seeks can only be found within. Back in 2009, however, the incident felt like an attack on me and my religious beliefs.

“‘They said: “Take it off”, and I said: “No, it’s part of my religion. It’s part of my religious right.” I gave them a Jedi church business card. They weren’t listening to me and were rude. They had three people around me. It was intimidating.’ Jones, who has made an official complaint to Tesco, is considering a boycott of the store and is seeking legal advice.”

Yes, I did consult with my lawyers and waste a lot of my time, money and energy considering a lawsuit over something so trivial. It was just a simple misunderstanding I could easily have defused but I let my ego and the dark side take over. Reading this feature now I can see that Tesco weren’t the evil and prejudiced controllers I thought they were and were in fact fairly light-hearted in their approach to me. Here was their final word on the matter.

“Tesco said: ‘He hasn’t been banned. Jedis are very welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove their hoods. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all appeared hoodless without ever going over to the Dark Side and we are only aware of the Emperor as one who never removed his hood. If Jedi walk around our stores with their hoods on, they’ll miss lots of special offers.’”

A week or so after the incident my anger settled down and I took a good long hard look at myself. I realized I had let the dark side take over. As a Jediist I should have found a way to defuse the situation with harmony and peace. I wasn’t doing my religion any favours. I could have stated my case in a calm and peaceful manner and then left the store. Instead, I lost my temper and confirmed their suspicions about young men in hoods being troublemakers. I let myself and my church down.

The incident was unsavoury, but with the benefit of hindsight I can now see that this was the Force at work too. I stepped over to the dark side and learned a lot about myself and my anger issues in the process and also what was and was not essential for Jediism (hoods certainly aren’t). The Force rewarded my desire to learn from an unpleasant experience with the evolution of Jediism, because much to my surprise the incident actually drew even more attention and followers to my church!

DANCING IN THE DARK

Jediism, as I explained earlier, acknowledges the existence of the dark side of the Force. It does not waste too much time and energy trying to understand why evil and injustice exist, because it accepts that we are unlikely ever to fully understand the big “whys” of the universe. It’s better to place our mental energy into finding inner peace and making the world a better place.

Personally, I think our lives are a bit like the underside of a tapestry, all knots and loose ends but then if you turn over the tapestry you see the beautiful image on the other side. Perhaps the bigger picture where everything makes perfect sense is what we will see when we die and our spiritual essence becomes one with the Force. It is impossible to know for sure. All that really matters in Jediism is what you are doing with the precious gift of your life right now.

Jediism is therefore not so much concerned with the nature of evil and negativity as how to work through the darkness. We see pain and suffering as unavoidable parts of our evolution we need to face with courage, since more often than not encountering the dark side triggers spiritual growth and awakens our greater potential. I’ll give another example of working through negativity from my own life. It’s different from the Tesco incident because that was an internal problem for me. It taught me that I had anger and ego issues and I was placing importance on things that really didn’t matter. This incident was about negativity manifesting outside of me – in this instance through someone in my life.

When someone has been your friend from childhood – and remember, I didn’t have many friends when I was growing up due to my condition – you relax around them. You trust them but when that trust is betrayed it is unbearably painful. To cut a long story short, someone I thought was my close friend lied to and stole from me. When I found out what he had done it was like a knife went into my heart. I felt betrayed, hurt, angry, sad, confused, and every other emotion.

Looking back, there were times when I was growing up when I got alarm bells about this guy but because he was my best friend, and I had known him forever, I ignored them. For example, I would often hear him being flexible with the truth with friends and family, or he would suddenly fall off the radar for months without explanation and then return as if nothing had happened. I forgave him each time because he was my friend and that’s what friends do. All the while, though, my instinct was telling me something was off, but I refused to listen to my intuition, which is a guaranteed way for a Jediist to lose his or her way.

I’m very direct so I decided to confront my friend about what had happened. He explained how tough things had been for him and to his credit he apologized and asked how to make amends. I accepted his apology and told him it wasn’t about the money and there was no need to pay me back. It was about him betraying our friendship and how much that hurt me. We have moved forward now and I wish him well but I learned something very important from this painful experience. I learned to trust no one.

I’m sure you were surprised by my last statement, as Jediism preaches unconditional love and always seeing the best in people. That is certainly what is recommended, but if you put too much trust in someone you open yourself up to exploitation. Of course, you can trust and hope for the best in others but at the same time you must remember every human being is vulnerable to the dark side of the Force. Indeed, facing the dark side is essential because it is through our encounters with it that we learn and evolve.

Another profound lesson I learned is always to trust my instinct about people. My friend letting me down also helped me deal better with friendships and relationships. I am grateful to him because he taught me not to need or rely on other people for a sense of meaning and fulfilment, or to assume that someone who you think loves you will always have your best interests at heart. Buddha said that the person who loves ten people has ten problems but the person who loves no one has no problems. Again this doesn’t mean you should not love other people, it means you should not need them or rely on them to make you happy. The only person in life you can rely on is yourself, and even then you will let yourself down from time to time. I’m being realistic here and aware that we are all works in progress. The sooner we all find inner peace and self-love the happier and more fulfilled we will be.

EMOTIONAL MANAGEMENT

Dancing with the dark side of the Force – feeling negative emotions such as hate, jealousy, fear, guilt and anger – is all part of human experience. There is nothing wrong with feeling difficult emotions. Emotions in themselves are not negative or bad; they are necessary for us to grow and develop. It is only when we act on negative emotions that they become bad, and the way to prevent that happening is to learn how to manage our emotions.

Jediism encourages you to feel the full range of emotions instead of questioning and denying them. You may find it uncomfortable to acknowledge difficult emotions, but feelings that are painful can alert you to an area of discomfort in your life. Emotions that are suppressed or denied cause even greater stress because you are not allowing yourself to feel what is true for you. Emotions are messages from the Force and if they are not worked through, this will cause great tension.

Indeed, emotions are the only real way you have to show what matters to you and what doesn’t. Negative emotions signal the need for some kind of change in our lives, be that from within or in your daily life. We all have our own pressure points and for me that is especially the case as I have Asperger’s. My pressure point is anger.

Asperger’s and anger go hand in hand. I have had extensive anger management therapy and learned a great deal about myself and how my brain works as a result. I have learned that I have an issue with communication and coping with frustration. This was intensified when, because my Asperger’s was undiagnosed, I was forced into mainstream education that had no understanding of how to treat people with my condition. I had no specialist school training where I could learn how to manage my anger and develop social skills. Instead I found ways to teach myself. I watched hours and hours of video footage of people I admired and studied how they spoke to increase my vocabulary and knowledge basis. What I was trying to do was to understand how people communicate effectively and manage their emotions.

For many people with Asperger’s, managing anger successfully and positively is the Holy Grail, as if we can do that we can blend in. In my childhood and teens I would often break my own fingers and smash my toes in fits of uncontrollable rage when things didn’t go my way. The trigger would be anything that took me away from my normal routine, even something as subtle as a change in temperature or a new or certain smell (I can’t be anywhere near the smell of garlic or onions). To this day routine is very important for me. I can have my day planned, and I’m fine if everything goes according to plan, but if one thing is out of order or doesn’t follow a pattern, then I can have a meltdown.

During my teens I couldn’t control my meltdowns. I would also get the urge to pull out my hair. It wasn’t until I reached the age of 26 that I was tested for Asperger’s on the advice of a friend, and discovered that I do indeed have a medical condition. I also realized that Jediism was in many ways my attempt to train my emotions so I could function normally in society. If I had a meltdown I used Jediism-inspired applied living techniques to guide me to a place of peace and calm, and if I had a fit of anger or an anxious moment I could again use those techniques to self-soothe with the minimum of disruption. For example, I don’t freak out in a sandwich shop anymore if they have run out of the brown bread I prefer. I have learned to enter any situation with options so if my first choice doesn’t work out I have at least two backups. In the case of sandwiches with brown bread I ask for brown rolls if they have run out or wholemeal muffins and so on.

Emotions in themselves are not negative or bad; they are necessary for us to grow and develop.

Again, I feel my Asperger’s has been a blessing because I have learned how to deal with it and use that knowledge to help other people with Asperger’s and people in general. Today I mentor people who have Asperger’s via my popular Aspie World YouTube channel. I have developed a framework to help me manage my emotions and I share it with my Aspie followers. That framework is Jediism-inspired because Jediism doesn’t just help me navigate my way through life with Asperger’s, it also helps everyone work through and manage their negative emotions.

WORKING THROUGH THE DARK SIDE

The Force has a light and a dark side. Love, joy, harmony, peace and hope are the energetic power of the light side whereas the dark side of the Force draws its power from negative emotions such as jealousy, anger, fear and hate. The dark side can be very seductive and deceptive as it promises you the fantasy of unlimited power and can disguise itself in falsehoods and the pretence of goodness or what is best for you. It seduces you by making you think that your interests are more important than the natural order or what is for the greater good – as is the case for Anakin in Revenge of the Sith when he attempts to cheat death. However, any action that opposes the natural order will end in confusion and pain.

The dark side of the Force lives within us and around us, and throughout our lives we will encounter it because light cannot exist without darkness. The key is to work through the darkness, and learn and grow from it rather than let the experience drain and destroy love and joy from you. You should not ever feel disappointed with yourself if you have negative feelings, such as anger or sadness. You are human and this is part of the experience – and just because you feel a negative emotion does not mean you have to act on it. A Jediist learns how to manage and control their emotions. When they notice that their emotions are tempting them to the dark side and hurting them in the process, they remind themselves that they are in charge of their emotions and not the other way round. They know that nothing can make you feel angry, sad, guilty or scared unless you allow it to.

When the dark side manifests externally in other people or in difficult situations, Jediism teaches us to observe the situation and learn from it. What is going on in your life that is attracting this person or situation to you? For example, when my friend betrayed me, the Force was teaching me to pay attention to my gut instinct about people as there had been warning signs. When the supermarket wanted to exclude me for wearing a hood, the Force was urging me to find a way to handle my anger. There is always something to learn from every negative situation.

Bear in mind too that the people in your life can reflect aspects of yourself to a certain extent. If you encounter someone who doesn’t treat you with respect, see that as a message from the Force to work on your self-esteem. If someone truly hurts you, the best and highest response is not to return hate with hate, otherwise you become the monster you are fighting. Recognize that aspect within yourself but don’t act on it. Love the fact that you have no negative thoughts about this person and that you aren’t feeding the dark side of the Force with revenge. Leave that person to understand and work through their own pain, and continue the journey of your own life. Trust that the laws of the universe will ensure that somewhere and somehow that person will meet justice.

In essence, the response of a Jediist to negative emotions and situations is to face them with courage and calm, and then choose to move on. Nothing disarms and weakens the dark side more than your neutrality towards it. Holding a grudge is like holding a piece of hot coal, waiting to throw it at the person you are angry with. You are the one who gets hurt. The more you engage with negativity the more it will evolve. Don’t engage. Release and let go.

Nothing disarms and weakens the dark side more than your neutrality towards it.

LESSON FIVE: LIVING WITH FEELING

Read silently or, better still for the energizing and ritualizing impact, read out loud to yourself the following teaching and then incorporate the practical suggestions into your daily life. Making a commitment to those suggestions is essential otherwise this book is nothing but ideas and words. Too many people get stuck in the “thinking about it” stage but never find the courage or the discipline to do anything about their grand ideas. A Jediist has courage; a Jediist has self-discipline; and a Jediist will also live or embody what he or she believes. If you are to evolve into a Jediist you must move from theory to action as soon as possible. You must both be and do. There is no “I could” or “I might”.

The Fifth Teaching on the Force

It is a blessing to have your absolute attention. May what you read or hear now help you to manage your emotions so that the dark side of the Force has no power over you. May what you read here help you grow stronger each time you encounter the dark side.

When the dark side is pulling you towards it with feelings of anger, hate and fear, accept what you are feeling and take responsibility for it even if it is painful. Never deny feelings of sadness or anger, or blame others for them. Never think that because you feel anger you are an angry person, or because you feel sad you are a sad person. You are not your emotions. You are feeling the dark side of the Force within you for a reason, so feel it. If you feel sad, cry. Tears are not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. If you feel angry, release that anger in a safe way. Scream out loud if you have to. Never deny your feelings. Remind yourself that you always have a choice. If you feel anger or hate you do not have to act on that anger or hate. You can find ways to manage it and channel it into something positive. Managing your feelings in this way can only enrich your life. Feeling something is what humans are born to do.

There will, of course, be times in the lives of all Jediist when they must journey through the most unbearable pain but these are the times when the Force is closer to them than ever. You may feel abandoned and alone but you are not. The Force is calling out to you through your pain to awaken spiritually and grow. Think of grief, loss, sorrow and pain as the darkness before the dawn.

You may wonder during times of darkness why you are experiencing such pain. It will feel unfair and unjust especially if you have been living a life of love and gratitude. You may wonder why the universe is sending darkness your way. This takes us to the eternal question: “Why do bad things happen to good people?” There is no answer, and a Jediist should not try to answer but simply accept that sometimes, as in the case of Obi-Wan dying, there is a bigger picture, a higher reason for the suffering of good people

Life is very much like school – a spiritual school. We are spiritual beings in human form, and because we are in human form we are susceptible to negative human feelings. However, our task is to overcome those barriers, learn from our experiences – even negative ones – and grow spiritually. Spiritual growth occurs when we finally come to a point when we understand that our essence is eternal pure consciousness that flows within and around us. We have infinite potential and when we shed our human form we will return to that pure consciousness – the Force – either strengthened or weakened by our time on Earth. If we have followed the light and become enlightened, we strengthen the power of the Force, but the opposite is true if we allowed negativity to get the upper hand.

Becoming part of the Force means accepting that sometimes the journey of your life will involve pain and hardship, and you need to learn to see pain as something that sets you free, helps you shed old skins so you can be transformed. A pearl is exquisite and precious but we must not forget that it has been created by an injured life. May you one day feel gratitude for the pain you have walked through.

The path of instant gratification is the one that the great majority of us take, but a Jediist will always take the path less travelled, because they understand that life isn’t meant to be easy. They can learn and grow from overcoming challenges, obstacles and suffering. With this awareness and clear vision they understand that fulfilment in life can only be achieved with an attitude of discipline, patience and hard work. They don’t avoid challenges and are under no illusion that their lives will always be blissful and problem-free. Indeed a life without problems would be a very empty, superficial and meaningless life as the reason for our existence is to learn and grow, and being in a state of constant bliss would mean there was no need to learn and grow anymore. This is not to say that a Jediist doesn’t strive for happiness and harmony at all times. They most certainly do, but they strive for it knowing that happiness and harmony are spiritual gifts and ideals rather than a permanent destination.

Hold this prayer close to your heart at all times.

A JEDIIST PRAYER FOR THE LIGHT

May you always be open and kind, and see the light and the potential for goodness and greatness in everyone and everything you encounter.

May you also proceed through your life with calm and caution and forever be alert to the potential for darkness to manifest within yourself and in others.

May you accept that the dark side exists but refuse to allow it to consume you.

May you always choose the light, and walk in peace, calm and harmony with the Force.

May you become a light to inspire others because you have encountered the darkness and so grown in self-awareness and strengthened your connection with the Force.

May you never stop asking why there is darkness in the world because every time you ask why, you reveal the empathy and love in your heart. Wherever there is empathy and love there is light.

Take a moment of reflection now to rejoice in and be thankful your emotions. Feelings, even ones that are unwelcome, are a blessing and the source of all creativity, progress, enlightenment, transformation and love. Feel the Force flow clearly through you.

EMOTIONAL LIVING GUIDELINES

1. Take the path less travelled

I highly recommend a book called The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck. It does have a Christian bias (which I don’t endorse as Jediism welcomes all faiths and beliefs, including atheism), but it is a masterful description of what attributes it takes to make a fulfilled human being. The book discusses the importance of discipline, which is essential for mental, emotional and spiritual health. The elements of discipline which create fulfilment include the ability to delay gratification, accepting responsibility for yourself and your actions, dedicating your life to truth in words and actions, and balancing your own needs with those of others.

Peck then goes on to discuss the ultimate feeling, which is love, and how our notions about it are often incorrect. We don’t fall in love and love is not something that happens to us. Love is an action and a conscious decision and it is what links us to ”a force other than our conscious will” and this force nurtures spiritual growth in us all. The book is a heartopening read and although Mr Peck passed away in 2005 I sense the Force was strong with him and remains strong to this day.

2. Find your calm centre

Before you can even start working through your emotions you must first get to a calm place or find your calm centre. That isn’t as easy as it sounds as today many of us feel overwhelmed. If this is the case for you, find some time each day to go somewhere quiet, or better still where you can be completely alone in the dark. Once there, close your eyes and take some deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth.

3. Energy tapping

Energy tapping or emotional freedom technique (EFT) is a form of emotional release that you may want to research and experiment with. I highly recommend it. Tapping is a soothing form of touch based on the ancient idea from Chinese medicine of there being a flow of vital energy (Chi or Qi) along meridian pathways in our body. Tapping points are found on these meridians and it seems that tapping them activates our body’s innate self-healing intelligence. As exciting and simple as this sounds, it is important to point out that it does not work for everyone but those who do find it helpful swear by it. As with everything in life the only way to find out if it can help you is to try it out for yourself.

EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE

Emotional freedom technique (EFT) is a form of counselling and therapy that utilizes a number of therapies from alternative medicine derived from the ancient Chinese philosophy or Chi (life force which flows through the body), including acupuncture, energy medicine and acupressure. The EFT Handbook by Gary Craig popularized the therapy.

To date there have been no credible research studies but advocates believe it can treat many physical and emotional disturbances and once you know the basic principles and tapping points on the body it can be self-administered. During an EFT session a person will typically focus on a specific physical and/or emotional issue while tapping on related energy points on the body.

4. Find ways to manage specific emotions

Sometimes you won’t understand why you feel a certain way but on other occasions you will be able to identify clearly the emotion that you are feeling. The first step to managing your emotions is to understand that just because you feel something does not mean it defines you. For example, if you feel anger this means anger is passing through you and not that you are an angry person. The next step is to understand that because you are not your emotions you can choose how to manage them. You can take positive action depending on the emotion you are feeling:

Sadness and disappointment:

• Acknowledge and release those feelings and have a good cry. Tears are very healing. Showing your emotions is a sign of honesty and strength not weakness.

• Comfort yourself with kindness and accept help from others.

• See what you can learn from the experience and how it can help you make better decisions in the future.

• If someone hurts you, don’t forget but do forgive them and move forward.

• If the criticism they give is valid be grateful, as sometimes we do need to be told where we are losing our way. If, however, someone is extremely unfair or hurtful again send them your gratitude because they are showing you a path of negativity that you don’t want to follow.

Guilt:

• Acknowledge that your life is being ruled by “should”s and “ought”s and think about what whether these values are yours or those of others.

• Learn from your mistakes and if you have hurt someone make amends.

• Surround yourself with people who respect and value you for who you are and not what you do.

• Focus on your strengths not weaknesses.

Anger:

• Understand what has the potential to trigger episodes of anger and make a plan to counteract that.

• Practise stress management techniques (more about that in Chapter 7).

• Find an activity that releases pent-up tension or a way to channel your anger in a positive way.

• If you lose your cool, reflect on the situation and how you will act differently next time.

• Think about what is worth getting angry about and what isn’t.

Fear:

• Practise correct breathing and stress management techniques (Chapter 7).

• Talk to yourself in a calm and constructive and positive way.

• Imagine yourself being calm and bring that image to mind.

• Mentally prepare yourself before going into stressful situations. See yourself navigating them with ease.

Jealousy and envy

• Think of these emotions as information telling you what you really want for yourself. Add this to your personal goals. If your goals are achievable, be prepared to work hard towards them. If they are unrealistic, modify them in some way.

• Always keep a sense of what you value and what your goals are.

Apathy

• Keep mentally and physically active and healthy (see Chapter 8).

• Visit new places, meet new people and learn and do new things.

• See beauty in the everyday.

Loving too much

• If you think your life can’t be complete without someone else then you condemn yourself to a life of dependence on the whims of others. You are a reed blown in the wind. A Jediist is content both in their own company and in the company of others. They love being with people but do not need others to complete them, despite the messages Hollywood movies give us.

• If you can’t feel content in your own company you will never feel fulfilled in the company of others. Enjoy the company of others but don’t put them on pedestals and never change who you are inside for another person or have just one key relationship. Change because it feels right for you and nurture several strong relationships. If you do start a special relationship don’t neglect the other people who care about you. Above all, value the importance of personal space so you never run the risk of getting lost in others.

Throughout the process of managing your emotions you should always try to seek the positive potential in every situation. However, you should also remember that there is both a light and a dark side to the Force and nothing in life is ever wholly good or bad. Sometimes for reasons we simply can’t understand it is good to feel bad because feeling bad is a powerful incentive for personal transformation.

5. Choose your friends wisely

It is often said that we are the sum of the five people we feel closest to, so choose your friends wisely. Think about those five people and what they say about your character and your values. Do they reflect who you are? If they don’t, then you need to think about who you are welcoming into your life and begin to set boundaries. Remember too that people, however much you trust them, always have the potential to hurt you, so never rely too much on others. The only person you should rely on is yourself – and even then you may find that you let yourself down from time to time but that is fine as we are humans. There is no such thing as perfection as perfection is a static lifeless state whereas the Force is a constant swirl of life, energy and infinite potential for growth.

Don’t give others the power to control your emotions or let them drag you into their dramas. Retain your boundaries and be your own source of comfort, joy and inspiration. When welcoming people into your life one trick that works for me is to pay more attention to what they do rather than what they say. As Qui-Gon Jinn says in The Phantom Menace, “The ability to speak does not make you intelligent” and eloquence, charm and charisma do not make a person trustworthy. Always look beneath the surface and remember that what people present to the world is just the tip of an iceberg.

I AM A JEDIIST

Jo Angel (www.joangel.co.uk) is a qualified life coach, intuitive, EFT and NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) practitioner with over 20 years of professional experience helping people to reach their full potential. She is a Jediist Master trainer for the Church of Jediism. Here she talks about how connecting to the Force has helped her manage emotional pain and emerge wiser, stronger and empowered.

I have been using the “Force” for over 20 years in life and my career, but it wasn’t until I was introduced to Star Wars a few years ago, that it all connected with me and I was amazed how a film had been using this as a concept for all this time. I was only seven years old when I first went to see the film and was unaware until recently of its powerful message.

The “force of being a Jediist” is that of love, and spiritual connection. It is an instinctive knowing of love, peace and the right thing to do. But what do we do when we feel that we cannot live up to these ideal expectations at certain times in our lives?

Emotional pain is an example that we can use. I myself have been through many challenges, and faced extreme emotional pain many times over. I am one of many I know, but I am writing this from a real perspective and not just a thirdparty overview. I also know that anger, frustration, depression, low self-esteem/confidence, addictions and fear, to name but a few, are what we must face and deal with in our real everyday human lives. So how do we cope?

Well, firstly we must accept and acknowledge these feelings, and respect that they are trying to teach us something valuable. What do we need to move away from? What is happening past, present or future that is so bad for us that we are recognizing this shift in our mind, body and spirit?

Denial, blame or anger towards another person is not the way forward in trying to heal. This is also the equivalent of holding onto a burning piece of wood, and expecting someone else to feel the pain. It is pointless. So, we must keep moving and work through the quagmire of emotions until we find what changes are needed. You must remember that throughout this very uncomfortable journey, you will still be the only one holding the power. Nobody else but you. This is what we often forget.

Everything in this life is temporary and nothing stays the same. Own your feelings. Embrace them and allow them to be your guide. Your emotions and feelings change with time, but your teachings will continue until you listen. I am not saying this is easy as I know from first-hand experience, but I am telling you that it is possible as I have seen this time and time again. Breakdowns are often “breakthroughs” if you don’t try to cover them over with a huge “mental blanket”. It is also okay to be angry, to express, to show emotions as it takes time and dedication for some to work on developing their “emotional intelligence” and how to work with it for your higher good, and not against it.

It is never okay, though, to be cruel. There is no excuse, ever, for harming another based on your emotions. This is your responsibility to seek the help and support needed so that your fearful emotions do not go on to destroy another’s life.

Love and fear are very closely linked, in my opinion. You can love something so much, but experience fear of losing it at the same time. It is love that will allow it to stay, not fear. And “Fear of our emotions is what will keep us in fear of our emotions”!

Trust, faith and love are your only way out, and within. Life can hit us like an erupting volcano at times, and you never know when or if you will ever recover. That strength really is within each of us and that is your power. Your force will be your guide always.

The most painful lessons are the ones we need to learn the most from. When we learn to appreciate those painful lessons we have grown in emotional wisdom and spiritual power. We have found inner peace. We have become one with the Force.

Daniel M. Jones