FROM THE TIME I FIRST heard the Buddha’s view on the innate dignity and worth of all, I thought it was just breathtaking. Not only was it personally transforming for me, helping me feel I finally belonged, that I was a part of a bigger picture of life, but I quickly saw the implications of such a perspective on how one might choose to act in the world.
Mindfulness and even lovingkindness meditation practices are commonly thought of as personal and inward-focused, but they can very much be social practices as well. When we get in touch with our own pain or the pain of others, meditation is not just a salve; it can provide the impetus to work for change. The engagement that results can be an openhearted demonstration of what we care about most deeply.
Efforts toward change are an expression of our own innate dignity and testament to the belief that what we do matters in this world. We engage not only to try to foster change right now, we engage to enliven what we believe to someday yet be possible.
Robert Thurman, a professor at Columbia University, uses an image to teach how anyone can practice living with compassion. “Imagine you’re on the New York City subway,” he says, “and these extraterrestrials come and zap the subway car so that all of you in it are going to be together forever.” If someone is hungry on the subway car, we help get them food. If someone begins to panic, we do our best to calm them down. Not because we necessarily like them or approve of them but because we are going to be together forever. Well, Robert continues, guess what? The truth is that everyone on the subway car is in it together—we share this planet, we share this life, and our actions and reactions, and theirs, ripple out extensively.
We don’t live in isolated silos, disconnected from everyone else—it just feels that way sometimes. What happens to others inevitably affects us. Even if we have been ignoring or unaware of the situation of those we don’t know, we can wake up and see that our lives are actually intricately connected. What happens “over there” never nicely just stays “over there”—it flows out. And what we do over here matters. This interconnectedness is not only a spiritual realization—science shows us this, economics shows us this, environmental awareness certainly shows us this, and even epidemiology shows us this.
We all struggle with what to change and what to let be, what we can affect and what we can’t, the effort it takes to foster change, and how it’s all too possible to burn out or shut down. I’ve learned that meditation can provide tools to help courage grow out of rage and resilience out of grief. I’ve learned that if your own life has been shattered by the actions of others, the perspective meditation offers can help you become whole. And even though it runs counter to what many of us have been taught, I’ve learned that deep acceptance is not inertness.
Our times, and maybe all times, can seem aggressive and confounding, making many uncertain of what to think and wary of getting involved. Sometimes at the heart of this doubt is feeling overwhelmed by the immensity of woes around us. The act of voting, of standing alone in that booth marking off your choices, can seem so small and ineffectual. Volunteering in a soup kitchen can seem a meager effort in the face of homelessness and poverty and food insecurity. And yet, I don’t see how apathy, cynicism, a perpetual sense of defeat, or armoring myself against caring is any better! What may be a small difference in our eyes can be a big difference for someone else whose life would be directly impacted.
I’ve been exploring these topics for decades now, both with people who ask for my help and in dealing with the challenges in my own life. Real Change is the book I’ve been wanting to write for years, to explore the intersection between the activity of working toward change in the world and the clarity and compassion arising from mindfulness and lovingkindness practice. The book is organized to map out the journey we often take toward a more impactful and sustainable expression of our values: expanding our vision; embodying real efforts toward change; working with the anger and grief that accompany a clear-eyed look at pain; supporting ourselves and remembering joy in the midst of challenging realities; looking afresh at who counts, who matters; awakening discernment and insight; coming to balance and knowing peace.
Included within the text are various meditation or contemplation exercises to try out. Each meditation is designed to encapsulate the thinking of the chapter and serves as a training in bringing those principles to life—by steadying our attention, focusing our energy, helping us let go more gracefully, and expanding our experience of love and compassion. To experiment with them, you might set aside ten minutes or so, sit comfortably, read the suggestions, then close your eyes if you feel at ease doing so (it’s fine to keep them partially open), and try them out. Consider doing each exercise a number of times so that having tried a few of them and being more familiar with them, you can see if there are some you’d like to build into a habit.
For this book, I’ve spoken with many inspiring changemakers. From poets and playwrights to advocates for equal pay, social justice, environmental stewardship, and many more. Some practice meditation in a classical sense and some don’t, but they all grapple with similar experiences and challenges in their quest to have a positive impact on the world.
Their work, their struggles and successes, so often connect, for me, to the teachings of mindfulness, lovingkindness, and the 2,500-year-old wisdom of the Buddha. I say that not because I am trying to proselytize the institution of Buddhism (which can fail to live up to its own values) but because the teachings and especially the practices offered by the Buddha changed my life, enabled me to see the power in wisdom and compassion, and are accessible to anyone regardless of faith, tradition, or belief.
These changemakers have generously allowed me to quote them in my efforts to convey how to navigate these waters of action and awareness in the healthiest ways possible. I want to share their insights and stories. We make this journey together.