Introduction
The move to a new culture could be one of the most traumatic experiences in a person’s life, and it is often compared to a period of mourning for their home environment, characterized by feelings of grief and separation anxiety (Bock, 1970; Furnham, 1995; Garza-Guerrero, 1974; Kim, 1988). The term “acculturation” is commonly used to study the process of adaptation of those who are placed in a new culture. Redfield, Linton, and Herskovits (1936) presented the classical definition of acculturation: “acculturation comprehends those phenomena which result when groups of individuals having different cultures come into continuous first-hand contact with subsequent changes in the original culture patterns of either or both groups” (p. 149). In other words, it refers to “the cultural changes resulting from these group encounters” (Berry, 1997, p. 6).
Different models have been developed to examine the process of acculturation, including the U-curve and W-curve models (Adler, 1975; Brown, 1980; Gullahourn & Gullahorn, 1960; Lysgaard, 1955; Oberg, 1960). Unlike early research which tended to study adaptation as a unilinear, unidirectional process as they had assumed that immigrants would inevitably be absorbed into their societies of settlement (Gordon, 1964), later research views adaptation as a bi-dimensional process which is related to both their cultures of origin and the receiving societies (Berry, 1974; Phinney, 1990). Under the bi-dimensional concept, Berry proposed four acculturation attitudes and strategies depending on “the degree to which people wish to maintain their heritage culture and identity; and the degree to which people seek involvement with the larger society” (Berry, Phinney, Sam, & Vedder, 2006, p. 306). These four acculturation strategies are: assimilation, which is when “individuals do not wish to maintain their cultural identity and seek daily interaction with other cultures”; separation, which is when “individuals place a value on holding on to their original culture, and at the same time wish to avoid interaction with others”; integration, which is when “there is an interest in both maintaining one’s original culture, while in daily interactions with other groups”; and marginalization, which is “when there is little possibility or interest in cultural maintenance, and little interest in having relations with others” (Berry, 1997, p. 9). Searle and Ward (1990) further distinguished between psychological and sociocultural adaptation in the process of acculturation. The former refers to “feelings of well-being and satisfaction, whereas the latter is concerned with the ability to ‘fit in’ or negotiate interactive aspects of the host culture” (Ward & Kennedy, 1993, p. 131).
Parachute Kids and Adaptation
As mentioned in Chap. 1, “parachut kids” is a term used to describe unaccompanied minors, unaccompanied sojourners, or little overseas students from Asian regions such as Taiwan, Hong Kong, South Korea, Malaysia, Indonesia and mainland China, who are dropped off in the U.S. to go to school while their parents stay in their country of origin. If the process of acculturation is difficult for any international sojourner, it is only more difficult for parachute kids. The interface between cultural adjustments and individual development more than double the difficult task of acculturation for them. While still in the stage of forming their identities, which is a difficult task for any teenager, they have to do it among all the uncertainties brought by the new cultural environment and without the daily support of their family. As Tsong and Liu (2008) stated: “The changes associated with immigration and separation from one or both parents make the challenges that come with normative developmental tasks in this age group all the more difficult” (p. 370). Cheng (2019) reveals adjustments can be made at three levels, namely, tangible, structural and mental ones. An example of a tangible adjustment is the need for a sense of home and belonging; structural adjustments include teacher-student relationships and interpersonal relationships; and mental adjustments include the change from being privileged to being disadvantaged, and from being passive to being proactive.
As demonstrated in the three stories in this chapter, those who are integrated appear to be those with an open and curious mind, who are proactive in making adjustments by getting to know more about the local people and culture, and who use the adjustments as an opportunity for reflection and growth, as is the case of Rong. In contrast, those who resist making adjustments appear to be those with a more passive attitude who thus become separated from the host culture, as is the case of Fen. The majority of them seem to fall between: They do not resist the new culture while holding onto their home culture, but at the same time, they struggle to reconcile the differences. They are willing to make some adjustments, but not at deeper levels. In other words, in between separation and integration are those who are still exploring ways to navigate between two cultures, as is the case of Zhong.
Rong: A Case of Integration
Rong was a high school senior at the time of the interview, and she struck me as an independent, mature, and thoughtful person. In fact, the maturity and thoughtfulness she demonstrated throughout the interview, I would say, exceeded my expectation of a 19-year-old girl. I would even go as far as saying that she symbolizes the kind of transformation I would hope for every international student, which enabled her to be well integrated with the host culture and society.
Among the interviews I did with students, she was the only one who had proactively suggested to her parents the idea of studying overseas. All the other students had been forced, persuaded, or told by their parents to study overseas. Even though there were a few other students who welcomed the idea of studying overseas, and thus did not need any persuasion from their parents, Rong was the only one who had to persuade her parents to agree to send her to study overseas.
During the 4 years she had studied in American high schools, she actively seized opportunities to enrich herself. While maintaining a high GPA throughout high school, she had joined the theater team, the speech and debate team and also had done Model United Nations. Despite (or because of) being under constant pressure and having often to work until midnight, she had a highly fulfilling and rewarding high school experience. All her efforts had paid off, and she was admitted to an ivy-league college by the time she was interviewed.
Rong came from a provincial capital city located in central China. Her father ran a private business, and her mother was a housewife. Both parents had a college degree. She described her family atmosphere as “open” since her parents tended to respect her decisions.
The summer before entering middle school, she went on a study tour to a summer camp in Australia and the United States. During the one month she spent in New York, she met many students from all over the world and participated in various activities, including sports such as water polo. Those “fun” and “cool” experiences on the study tour opened her mind and sowed the seeds for the idea of studying in the United States. In the meantime, starting from the 6th grade until the 8th grade, her mother took her to a local club on a regular basis. She described the club as similar to a coffee house, where she could practice English with native English speakers, and she made some friends from other countries there. The experiences at the club further opened her mind, and stimulated her interest in studying overseas.
She had studied in a top middle school before going overseas although she described herself as an “average student” in that school. During the last year of middle school (the equivalent of 9th grade in the US), motivated by the pressure to get into a good high school, she worked so hard that she became one of the top three students in her class. Her parents, convinced by her determination and seeing her potential, decided to support her idea of studying overseas. They later told her that they were reluctant to send her to study overseas because they knew it would not be an easy life, and they did not want her to suffer. However, having witnessed her stamina and pioneering spirit, they decided to “release her to the outside world to try for herself.” Her parents helped her choose the destination state in the United States because they had friends in that state. Her parents’ friends also recommended a catholic girls’ college preparatory school, and she repeated the 9th grade there. After one year at this girls’ school, she transferred to a larger co-ed private school not far away, and that’s where she spent the remaining three years in high school.
Prior to arriving in the United States, she had envisioned an easy and happy high school life where the atmosphere was free and people were nice, as depicted in American movies and shows that she had watched in China. Interestingly, there seems to be a common perception among Chinese students, prior to their arrival in the United States, that American schools are easy. It is an idea widely publicized in Chinese schools which proves to be one of the biggest myths about American schools among Chinese students. As Rong soon found out, academic pressure was actually pretty high in American schools, and people in the United States were not as nice as they were in movies. During the first year in the US high school, she felt great pressure in both study and life. Difficulty in study was partially due to language barrier, and adaptation in life was made more difficult because of the tension with the host family. Being a perfectionist who did not like to be considered any lesser added to her stress and anxiety. Even though, thanks to her prior experiences of study tour to Australia and the United States, as well as her preparation in English such as the practice at the club, her English had reached the level of proficiency, she could not express herself as freely in English as she did in Chinese and thus felt limited. Further, she did not like the accent in her pronunciation. The first month was the most difficult time for her as she had never felt so lost before, and even the things that were commonplace to American students, such as a group project, she could not fully understand what she was supposed to do. It was as if all her 15 years of learning had been removed, and this feeling of loss and ignorance dealt a heavy blow to her confidence.
She felt many other restraints. For example, the living arrangement of staying with a host family meant that she could not invite her friends over as she wanted and that she needed a ride to go anywhere. She felt further restrained because she could not express herself as freely as she wanted to, especially when it came to subtleties. All those contributed to her feeling of being restrained.
After one month or so, she was able to understand the requirements of assignments, and gradually she was able to catch up and even exceeded many students. To her surprise, she received the highest score in her English class at the end of the first year. To this impressive accomplishment, she did not show any complacency or even satisfaction at the interview. Instead, she shrugged her shoulder: You know, that was a small school and their academic level was not that high.
Rong’s mom was with her in the host family during her first year in the United States, which helped to ease the adaptation, especially the adjustments needed in life, including how to get along with the host family. Her host family was of Japanese descent, and they had many house rules that Rong was not used to and did not like. For example, she was not allowed to take a shower after 10:30 pm. Further, she had to help with the house chores, which is required in the Host Family Handbook issued by the school. She did not like to help clean up after dinner which could take as long as half an hour and would rather use this time to do homework. The host family was also direct in pointing out Rong’s mistake or things that they did not think Rong did appropriately. It took some time for both sides to adjust, and toward the end of the first year, they all got along, and she had been staying with the same host family for the following 3 years.
Also different from her expectations was that she found Americans were not as open-minded and friendly as she had seen in movies. Instead of complaining, she soon came to the realization that it was only natural that there are friendly and unfriendly people in every country, and she could understand the anti-foreigner sentiments some local people had shown. It was similar to her experiences of seeing her friends in China unaccepting of people from other provinces. For local people to accept international students from China, it may be even more difficult as they had grown up in a totally different environment and have drastically different cultural backgrounds. She did not think it was fair to ask local students to accept international students immediately, especially if they did not have similar interests or hobbies as points of connection. She had trouble making what she called “real friends,” meaning that she could go wild or play rough together with them. The American friends she had made during her first year in the United States were merely “friendly,” meaning that they could do homework or go out for dinner together and they were quite polite, but there was not much meaningful or in-depth communication among them.
In her assessment, the four years she spent at American high schools were quite challenging and highly rewarding at the same time. It was challenging because there were new hurdles to jump every year as she was making considerable, continuous progress in adapting herself to the new environment. During the first year (her 9th grade, that is), she was prompted to make adjustments both academically and socioculturally, as described above. The reward for her hard work was that she excelled in academic performance. Then, the second year she transferred to the current school which had higher academic standards. In addition to pushing herself harder to meet those standards, she also started doing theater. In order to do better than playing minor roles, she struggled to correct her accent to make herself sound more native. She also had to learn to get along with “theater people,” who tended to be quite different from the majority of local students. Although exerting extra pressure and anxiety, the theater experience culminated in the rewarding experience of attending the Edinburg Arts Festival in the summer of her 10th grade where she tried many new things that she had never thought of trying before. She had to reduce her theater activities considerably after entering 11th grade as she started quite a few new things, such as taking AP and IB courses, participating in speech and debate, as well as doing Model United Nations. The academic pressure became so high that during the second semester of her 11th grade she often had to work until late at night, and did not go to bed until 1 or 2 o’clock in the morning. This kind of stressful life continued into the first semester of 12th grade when she had to start preparing college applications.
To a large extent, many of the challenges that made her life stressful were taken on by herself. She acknowledged that at the outset she had participated in many of the activities, such as Model United Nations, out of practical considerations as they would make her resume look good. However, she soon found most of the activities to be interesting and beneficial. Although it was only after a couple of months that she felt much better adjusted, deep in her heart, she never felt at ease. It was this sense of uncertainty and a reasonable level of anxiety that pushed her to work hard. She understood deeply in her heart that one had to exert oneself and make great efforts in order to achieve high and be accomplished, and this was true of all individuals, no matter where they came from and where they were.
The four years of sojourning experiences was transformational for her. Of course, her character and temperament largely remained the same, such as her enterprising spirit. But her way of thinking and values had certainly been transformed. As she described:
In China nowadays, it is fashionable to do cosmetic surgery and wear expensive clothes. Many of my friends have followed that fashion. If I had stayed in China, I would have probably been the same. I am not saying it is necessarily a bad thing. It is a natural thing for girls to pursue beauty. However, now I may have a different definition of beauty than they do. For example, I would think it is important to have healthy beauty and I would try to make myself more beautiful by doing workout.
Further, she had become more independent and proactive. Since coming to the current school, instead of passively becoming a member of existing ingroups, she had managed to develop a circle of friends which made her feel more at home. She admitted that she did not have any close Chinese friends at the current school, and she seemed to have an easier time making friends with American students than with Chinese students. To her character and temperament played a more important role in developing friendship than cultural backgrounds.
Even though Rong seemed to want to transcend cultural barriers and she openly acknowledged that she was not a “political” person, the fact that she came from a totally different environment inevitably affected her adjustment, and she had to learn to deal with those differences. Overall, she felt that the average American did not know much about China; some of them even thought that China was still in the stage where everyone was riding a bicycle to work. Sometimes, the ideological differences were reflected in innocent jokes. For example, a male student in her theater activity often jokingly asked her: “How is our great Chairman Mao doing today,” or yell to her things like “go back to your communist country” because somehow he felt it was “cool” to use the word “communist.” In 10th grade history class, Rong was exposed to more formal and academic discussion on “communism.” She could tell that communism was viewed negatively in class, but she did not say anything in class discussion because, according to her: “It is understandable from an American perspective that they do not like communism, and they like their system better… But I don’t see why China should not continue the way it is.”
When she returned to China in summer after spending one year in America, she realized that she had become different in the eyes of those around her in China. They did not understand why she became unnecessarily polite and kept nodding to people. As she spent more time in America and travelled back and forth between China and America, she noticed more and more changes in herself and found herself to be a stranger in the familiar land of her own country. On the one hand, she became more considerate of others and more compassionate and empathic toward those in need. For example, she would give more money to beggars on the street, and show sincere respect for street artists. On the other hand, she became more critical of and vocal about undesirable and inappropriate behavior. A few months before the interview, she was waiting in a very long line at the airport in China ready to fly back to school in the US. A man went up to her asking if she could let him into the line as he was late for his flight. Her father, who was with her at the time, advised against letting him in, but she let him in because she felt he was in need of help. A few minutes later, another man tried to force into the line without getting permission from anyone or providing any explanation, firmly and politely, she stopped that man from getting into the line. That man even apologized to her.
One factor that contributed to her increased empathy is her increased awareness of some global issues such as poverty and homeless, and what she learned at American schools about the sufferings of all people in other countries. The other factor is that through the sojourning experiences which exposed her to the feeling of restraints, deprivation, and disadvantage, she realized that anyone, including herself, could be in a helpless situation. When in such a situation, one had to be taking a proactive attitude toward those difficulties. As she stated: “When in a disadvantaged situation, you will re-examine yourself and then try to strengthen yourself.” The willingness to become more resilient and flexible in making necessary adjustments enabled her to grow and leads to further development and improvement.
Fen: A Case of Separation
Fen was a high school junior when I interviewed him. His height was about average, but overall he was on the thin side. He confirmed during the interview that he did not like the food provided by his host family, which explained his thinness. Similar to Rong, Fen was quite eloquent and articulate, but in contrast to Rong, Fen did not demonstrate much composure. In fact, I could feel his restlessness and even anger at times, as well as his need for attention and care. It was clear that he had been struggling adjusting himself to the new environment. During the interview, he repeated three times a line from Spring and Autumn Annals, a classical work in ancient China: Those who are not our kin are sure to be of a different heart.
Fen came from a medium-sized city in Northern China, and his parents are private business owners. Neither of his parents went to college, but they were quite successful as business people. In contrast to Rong who had to persuade her parents to send her to study overseas, Fen was forced by his parents to start preparing for studying overseas at the age of 13. He described himself as slightly above average in his academic performance before going overseas to study. The reason for his maladjustment may be traced back to the very beginning of the decision-making process regarding whether he would go overseas to study. His parents did not really involve him in making the decision, and instead, it all started when his father attended a lecture at a prestigious university in China where a professor commented how beneficial it would be for children to go overseas to study and how far-sighted of the parents to send their children overseas to study early on. Initially, Fen said no to the idea of studying oversea because he did not want to leave his friends and the familiar environment. His mother encouraged him to pursue his dreams overseas, and eventually he reluctantly accepted the idea.
To better prepare himself for studying overseas and especially improve English, Fen spent a year in Beijing attending language programs after 8th grade. At the age of 13, he was already living by himself in Beijing looking for rented housing and language programs. It was his estimate that he had spent more than 300,000 Chinese yuan (equivalent of close to $50,000) that year, including rent, living expenses, tuition for language school, and the fees he had paid for study-abroad agencies that helped him with his application.
After one year of preparation in Beijing, he was able to go to a high school in the northeastern part of the United States to be a 9th grader. Before going overseas, he had learned from American movies and rappers that America was a free land where people were friendly, and he had envisioned making friends with local students. Soon after his arrival, he realized that he did not like the new environment. It was a Catholic school which required religion classes, and he could not accept what he was taught in class. Further, he was often made fun of by local students. He had two fights with local students at that school and was suspended for two days the second time because he had hit an American student. Thinking the punishment was unfair since he felt it was the American student who had provoked him first, he refused to have further interactions with local students. In fact, the two fights made him quite unpopular at school, and no American students would even speak to him after the fights. To make things worse, the other six Chinese students who started attending the school around the same time as he did also rubbed him the wrong way. According to Fen, those other students were all typical fuerdai, or the second-generation scion in a “nouveau riche” family, who would show off their fancy cars and the multiple mansions their family owned. He did not think he was a good student, but he certainly was the best one among them.
Further, Fen had serious conflicts with the host family because they would charge his friends who stayed over or did not allow him to use hot water kettle for fear of adding to the electricity bill. There were nights he cried his eyes out with nobody around to comfort him. He lost 40 pounds during his first year in the United States. Feeling like being trapped in a prison, he started looking for schools elsewhere during the second semester and was able to transfer to the current school—with the help of another agent—to attend the 10th grade.
Things got slightly better after the transfer, and he even had something good to say about the school. He liked the GPA system which was based on various components, including multiple assignments and exams. Even though he was not as hostile toward local students after moving to the current school two years ago, he was still reluctant to have much association with them. He felt it was a mistake for his parents to send him overseas. But he could not return to China before completing school because he would be considered a loser by his friends and relatives, and thus his parents would lose face. Further, he owed it to his parents to finish school because of the large sum of money his parents had spent on him. Therefore, he continued to stay and try to finish school even though he felt like living in a prison.
Thinking back, he felt that his parents wanted to send him overseas to study for two reasons. One was that they did it out of practical consideration since they thought that Fen would have better job prospects. The other reason was that they had seen many of their friends do so and they were simply trying to keep up with the Joneses. In other words, they wanted to send Fen overseas just to satisfy their own vanity. To Fen, this was not the right motive, and even though he did not express dissatisfaction openly in the interview, one could feel his resentfulness toward his parents, as demonstrated in the following quote:
I strongly suggest that those parents who are considering sending their children overseas to do the following things: First, you should know your child well; second, you should try to communicate with your child, and third, do not give too much pressure to your child once they are already overseas… It is not right for any parent who does not spend much time with their child to push their child outside to study overseas hoping that they would somehow become accomplished.
Fen was quite passive in making adjustments, and various factors can explain his maladjustment, such as his distant relationship with his parents and his conflicts with local students at the first school he had attended. Parents’ love and support seems to play an important role in students’ adjustment, and those who are able to better adjust themselves tend to be those who have a close relationship with their parents. Fen seemed to be quite distant from his parents. Even teachers and staff had trouble getting in touch with his parents. Even though there were various factors for his maladjustments, ultimately, it was Fen’s refusal to adapt to the new environment that prevented him from adopting a less negative attitude toward the changes he needed to adjust to.
Zhong: In Between Integration and Separation
Zhong struck me as an easy-going and down-to-earth person. Like Fen, Zhong also came from a medium-sized city in China and business family background. His mother had an associate degree and his father never went to college, but they got pretty wealthy through border trade. He had attended a good public high school before going overseas, but he was frank about his poor academic record when he studied in China and described himself as a student “at the bottom of class” in academic performance. He did not like school, and especially hated drill exercises and exams. As he was muddling along through the 10th grade unhappily, one day his father told him that he would go to the United States to continue his schooling, and that a business partner of his father’s who was in the United States would be his guardian. He did not resist this idea as he did not think it would make any difference where to idle away his life. Another option for “at-risk” students like him would have been joining the army where their parents believed they could go through metamorphosis in a cruelly disciplined and demanding—both physically and psychologically—environment. He resisted the idea of joining the military then, but thinking back, he felt “that would not have been such a bad idea,” maybe because the road not taken is always tempting, maybe because the road he ended up choosing did not prove to be that easy.
He had his reservations about going overseas to study, among which language concern was the biggest one, and it turned out that his concerns were well justified. He was demoted to the 9th grade when he started school in the United States—after two months of language school, mostly because of his unpreparedness in language. He had to take all English as a Second Language classes during his first semester. He was completely in the dark during the first week, and had no idea what the teacher was saying in class. As a result, he did not do any homework during that week. It took him the whole semester to get accustomed to the English environment at school.
During his first year at the current school there were only five students from China, including himself, but after four years at the time of the interview, there were already over 20 of them, which epitomizes the exponential growth of Chinese students studying in the United States at the secondary level during the past years. To his surprise, he did not feel much homesick mostly because he was able to make some friends quickly, some with Chinese students and some with other international students from Japan and South Korea.
He felt that although he did not learn as much academically as he would have if he had stayed in China for high school, he had learned much more in non-academic aspects. According to him, the subject content in American high school is not as much in-depth. Even for his language skills, although his sense of language had been much improved and he had no problem communicating with others both inside and outside classroom, he felt his vocabulary might have been better had he studied in a Chinese high school. Even after four years at this high school, he still could not fully understand the teachers and other students. He estimated it to be about 70% that he could fully understand for some of the hard subjects such as English and Biology. He was able to understand what was taught and discussed for up to 90% of the time if he could understand the body language and backgrounds of the discussion.
He thoroughly enjoyed the wide range of the curriculum offered at the school, though. For example, he even took a ceramics class, which was unthinkable in a Chinese high school. Like a few other male students from China, Zhong expressed the importance of sports for his adaptation. First of all, he became much stronger and physically fit, and it was important to feel healthy physically. Further, playing sports was an important tool for socialization. He was able to make friends, especially with local students, in a natural setting, through playing sports. In fact, it seems to be a repeating theme that sports may help with those Chinese students’ adjustments, especially for male students. More than one male interviewee commented one the importance of sports. Their experiences demonstrated the importance of physical health for students as well as potential socialization function of sports, especially group sports.
Overall, Zhong’s adaptation was pretty successful, which was illustrated by his ability to make American friends and his contentment with life. However, he had mixed feelings about the studying-overseas experiences. On the one hand, he felt the experiences he gained during the adaptation process were priceless, and through those social experiences he was able to broaden his horizon and improve his social skills. But on the other hand, for something one wins there is something lost. For example, he regretted that he had gradually lost his friends in China over the past four years. While experiencing drafting away from his old friends in China, he had not developed friendship at such profound levels in his new environment. He used such phrases as “getting stuck” and “being torn apart” to describe that feeling: “When in the US, I do not feel integrated into the society. When going back to China, I feel I cannot keep up with all the changes. It seems that I cannot keep up with either side. It feels like that I am stuck in between. … It is almost like I am split into halves, one half of me is in the US and the other half in China.”
Zhong is one of those Chinese students who benefited from studying overseas. For students like Zhong who was disengaged in school in China, open to other possibilities, and at the same time mature enough (or at least willing to learn) to take care of himself, the relatively open and flexible education system, as well as its holistic teaching philosophy at American schools may be a better option. In some sense, the opportunity to study overseas saved him. If he had remained in China, he would have been screened out by the competitive test-driven and academically focused system. However, in American school, his interest in school was rekindled and he regained his confidence in life. He was eventually admitted to a 4-year regional public university on the West Coast. Even though this is by no means an impressive accomplishment, it means that he was able to become a self-reliant, contributing member of society who is able to find his own happiness in life, which is probably better than the possible alternative outcome if he had remained in China.
Concluding Remarks
During the process of adaptation, there is potential for students’ knowledge to be enhanced about themselves and other cultures as also their understanding of the common predicament and vulnerability of humanity. There is also potential for such parachute kids to hone their skills in thinking, analyzing, and performing tasks, and potential for cultivating the values of open-mindedness, empathy, compassion, and respect for diversity and difference. As a result, these students could be potentially better equipped for the challenges and hardships during the process of adaptation. Of course, the growth does not happen automatically through international travelling and sojourning. As Caruana (2014) states: “Encountering otherness abroad may involve rejection or narrow selection rather than openness, since the ‘surrender’ to openness is situational and dependent on the nature of intercultural contact” (p. 90). Only those students who learn, through their international sojourning experience, that anyone could be in a helpless and disadvantaged situation, and that those who can turn the experience of disadvantage into an opportunity for re-examining and strengthening themselves, will be able to realize this potential.