BETTER THAN TAKEOUT PIZZA
GLM
Pizza is the original delivery food, at least according to porn. I mean, have you ever seen a porn about a sexy soup delivery boy? (Disclaimer: I know there are all sorts of kinks out there, and I’m not in the business of judging, so if you’re into soup porn, go get yours. But I think my point stands.)
While I will always love a hot slice at 2 a.m., after the bars close and I require something greasy to soak up all the booze (that’s science, right?), when we’re talking whole pies, I prefer to make my own pizza. After all, it’s super simple (just dough, sauce, cheese, and toppings), and takes very little time to make (twenty minutes, tops, from start to finish—faster than it would take any delivery boy to show up at your door). But the most exciting thing, you piping hot pepperoni, you: not only is making pizza at home faster and cheaper than ordering it to be delivered, the result is also much tastier than the kind that comes in a box, and definitely more fun to make than the kind that comes frozen.
This is because when you make pizza at home, you get to eat it literally seconds after it comes out of the oven. (Okay, maybe it’s prudent to give it a minute or two to cool down so you don’t burn your tongue.) And unlike with delivery pizza, you get to completely control all the ingredients that go into it. It’s a great way to turn leftovers into something new. Got leftover taco meat, cooked greens, corn, or tofu? Give them new life as a pizza topping! And it’s a cheap, fun way to feed a lot of people. Want to throw a dinner party with hardly any work? Buy pizza dough, sauce, cheese, and toppings, and let people make their own pies. All you do is put everything out and do the baking.
Oh, and if you’re still looking for porn to go along with your new pizza-obtaining method, just buy a pound of pizza dough and a gallon of tomato sauce and Google “sploshing.”
NOTE: I got this pizza baking method from our literary agent, Richard Abate. It’s the absolute best way to make charred-bottom, crispy New York–style pizza without a pizza oven.
SERVES 2 TO 3
INGREDIENTS
Flour for rolling and for pan
1 cup canned crushed tomatoes (preferably the fire-roasted variety)
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
¼ cup packed fresh basil leaves, chopped fine, plus more for garnish
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 pound prepared pizza dough (Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s sell this for about $1.50)
1½ cups shredded mozzarella cheese
½ cup your favorite pizza topping (we love this one with tomatoes or red bell peppers and feta)
DIRECTIONS
• Preheat the oven to 500°F.
• Lightly flour a baking sheet or pizza pan and set aside.
• Drizzle a 16-inch sheet of aluminum foil with olive oil and set aside.
• In a small bowl, stir together the crushed tomatoes, garlic, 2 tablespoons of olive oil, basil, and the salt and pepper. Set aside.
• On a lightly floured surface, roll the pizza dough out into the desired shape. (I like to make mine oblong, since they fit on a baking sheet so nicely that way.)
• Transfer the dough to the oiled sheet of foil.
• Top with the sauce, cheese, toppings, and more basil.
• Place the dough-topped foil on the bottom of your oven. Not the bottom rack—the actual bottom. (I know it sounds weird. Trust me.)
• Let cook for 2 minutes, just until the bottom is very dark and crisp.
• Transfer to the prepared baking sheet and bake on a rack in the middle of the oven for 8 to 10 minutes, or until the crust is golden brown and the cheese is very bubbly.
• Let cool for a minute or so, then slice into wedges and serve.