CONTENTS

1. Cover
2. Title Page
3. Copyright
4. Foreword by Mindy Kaling
5. Introductions: Welcome to Our Book
6. GETTING STARTED
7. CHAPTER 1: Broke AF
8. Someday I’ll Be Rich Rice and Beans
9. One Week Till Payday Pasta
10. Bounced Check Burrito
11. The Chicest TV Dinner You Ever Saw
12. Cheap Chicken Legs (and a Free Trip to Europe)
13. Beggar’s Purses, or How to Trick Your Parents into Paying Your Rent
14. No-Cash Car Crash Carbonara
15. Trying to Make Ends Meet Tofu
16. CHAPTER 2: Cooking for Your Ever-Changing Moods
17. I Want to Punch You in the Face Pasta
18. My Boss Is a Bitch Banana Bread
19. Regret Risotto
20. Mercury Is in Retrograde Mango Smoothie
21. My Ex Is Engaged Enchiladas
22. Quarter-Life Crisis Queso
23. I’m a Fraud French Toast
24. I’m Not Jealous Jambalaya
25. All My Friends Are Married Mud Pie
26. Super-Sad Saturday Night Salmon
27. Schadenfreude Sundae
28. Abandonment Issues Apple Pie
29. Misanthropic Marshmallow Meltdown
30. Fuck It, Let’s Just Get Stoned Nachos
31. CHAPTER 3: Deliver Us from Delivery
32. Fried Brain Fried Rice
33. A Pad (Thai) of One’s Own
34. Better Than Takeout Pizza
35. Late-Night Faux Pho
36. Not-So-Basic Bitch Beverages: The Latte in Its Many Forms
37. Sushi You Can Actually Make, We Swear
38. DIY Fro-Yo
39. Egg McMade-It-Myself Sandwich
40. CHAPTER 4: Eating Clean, or Whatever
41. Paleo Pain in the (Admittedly, Well-Toned) Butt Curry
42. Basically Carbless (Not That We Care) Cauliflower Crust Pizza
43. Better Than Your $10 Green Juice Green Juice
44. Commemorative Kale Salad
45. How to Cook a Chicken Breast That Doesn’t Suck
46. Smug Superiority Smoothie Bowl
47. CHAPTER 5: Entertaining Your Enemies, Frenemies, and Friends
48. Just Put It in a Bowl, or No-Cook Appetizers to Make People Think You Have Your Shit Together
49. BFF BUFFET
50. Frittata
51. Strawberry Spinach Salad
52. Super Simple Cinnamon Rolls
53. Lemon-Coconut Dream Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting
54. CHILL GIRL SPORTS SPREAD
55. Baked Sriracha Hot Wings
56. Chipotle-Maple Pulled Pork
57. Legit Onion Dip
58. Fudgy as Fuck Brownies
59. CLAIM TO FLAME: HOW TO PULL OFF A PERFECT SUMMER BBQ
60. YOUR FIRST THANKSGIVING
61. Beverages
62. Turkey
63. Stuffing
64. Cranberry Sauce
65. Gravy
66. CHAPTER 6: Let’s Get Drunk
67. Formula Is for Babies… and Cocktails: The Basic Cocktail
68. When in Doubt, Make Sangria
69. Manhattan in Heels
70. French 69
71. Dirty Girl Martini
72. No Fucks Negroni
73. Hot Body Hot Toddy
74. Bad Bitch Margaritas
75. Slutty/Virgin Mary
76. CHAPTER 7: Swipe Left, Cook Right
77. A Date with the Devil(’s) Food Cake with Easy Chocolate Frosting
78. I Created a Relationship in My Mind Cupcakes
79. Texting Jitters Jam
80. Bad Sex Baked Potatoes
81. Third Date Dumplings
82. I’m Chill, but We’re Obviously Exclusive? Fish Tacos with Mango-Avocado Salsa
83. Steak Your Claim
84. I’m Ready to Sleep with You Chocolate Mousse
85. Manipulation Mac and Cheese
86. Easiest Roast Chicken to Trick Someone into Falling in Love with You
87. Heartbreak Hamburgers
88. Netflix and Chili con Carne
89. I Love You Tiramisu
90. Eat Your Enemy Crispy Treats
91. Conclusion
92. Acknowledgments
93. About the Authors
94. Newsletters