PALEO PAIN IN THE (ADMITTEDLY, WELL-TONED) BUTT CURRY
GLM
I have no problem with the Paleo diet, in its essence. To me, it makes a lot of sense: eat whole foods, don’t fear healthy fats, and go easy on the carbs. (Okay, I know it’s a tiny bit more complex than that.) It’s the way people rhapsodize about it that I find annoying. Oh, really, you like to eat like they did in the Paleolithic era? Is that why you like unrefined coconut oil so much? Because the cavemen used so much of it? Did they have iPhones back then too? I don’t remember ever hearing about mastodons meeting on Tinder.
I have pretty much zero patience for self-righteous Paleo eaters (or self-righteous eaters of any sort, really). Like, I’m thrilled that turning your back on grains and eating the way “our ancestors did” is helping you in so many ways (truly, I am!), but there is no reason to make your dining companions feel bad about the baked ziti they just ordered. You are not better than anyone at this table, no matter how much you talk about CrossFit.
As a cook and general avoider of conflict, my approach to dealing with this sort of baloney (not that Paleo dieters would ever eat a meat as processed as baloney) is to focus on food that is objectively delicious, no matter one’s dietary restrictions. I want to distract everyone with eyes-rolling-back-in-your-head foodgasms so nobody talks about kettlebell exercises. This dish is my go-to for shutting people up: outrageously tasty, incidentally Paleo.
If you want to be like a real Paleo caveman/cavelady, kill the cow yourself and butcher it on your kitchen table (your roommates will be totally chill with this), and cut up the squash with a stick that you strapped a sharpened rock to. If you’re a little more twenty-first century than that, do what I do and buy the meat cubed and the squash cut up in bags, near the other precut vegetables.
SERVES 4
INGREDIENTS
For the curry
6 cups cubed butternut squash (cut it yourself or buy it precut)
1 tablespoon neutral oil, such as coconut or grapeseed
1 medium onion, cut into 1-inch pieces
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 (1-inch) piece ginger, peeled and minced
½ pound cubed beef stew meat
1 (14-ounce) can coconut milk
1 tablespoon wheat-free tamari (soy sauce usually has wheat in it—if you’re cooking for nonstrict Paleo followers, go ahead and use regular soy sauce)
2 teaspoons Thai red curry paste
1 red bell pepper, cored, seeded, and cut into 1-inch pieces
1 handful fresh cilantro, chopped
NOTE: If butternut squash is out of season, feel free to use scrubbed, cubed sweet potatoes.
For the cauliflower rice
1 head cauliflower, roughly chopped (no need to remove the inner core—just cut it up along with the florets)
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 handful cilantro or parsley, chopped
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
DIRECTIONS
Make the curry
• Preheat the oven to 375°F.
• Spread the squash out in an even layer on an ungreased baking sheet (use two if necessary) and roast for 35 to 40 minutes, just until the squash is tender when pricked with a fork.
• While the squash roasts, make the cauliflower rice (recipe follows). About 20 minutes before the squash is finished roasting, heat the oil over medium heat in a large frying pan (make sure it has a fitted lid—you’ll need it later).
• Add the onion, garlic, and ginger and cook, stirring once or twice, for 2 minutes.
• Add the beef and brown lightly on all sides.
• Add the coconut milk, tamari, curry paste, and honey and stir well to make a creamy, pale red sauce.
• Add the bell pepper and stir well, then cover the pan with the fitted lid. Cook, covered, for about 15 minutes.
• Once the squash is done, carefully add it to the pan. Stir well and cover again. Cook for another 18 to 20 minutes, until the beef is very tender.
• Serve in bowls over cauliflower rice, topped with the chopped cilantro.
Make the cauliflower rice
• Place the cauliflower in a food processor and pulse until it resembles a fine grain. You may need to work in batches if your food processor is on the small side.
• Heat the olive oil in a large frying pan over medium-high heat.
• Add the garlic and cook for approximately 30 seconds, just until fragrant.
• Add the processed cauliflower and stir well to distribute the garlic.
• Cook for 7 to 8 minutes, or until the cauliflower is lightly browned in patches.
• Stir in the chopped cilantro or parsley as well as the salt and pepper.
