NO FUCKS NEGRONI

GLM & MPB

The No Fucks Negroni Girl is awesome. She walks into a bar wearing a black turtleneck, sits down by herself in a corner booth, orders her drink, and looks cool as all hell. People stare at her, but no one dares speak to her until they’ve had at least three drinks themselves, that’s how fucking intimidating she is. She’s not drinking to get to some uninhibited place; she already lives in that place. She’s drinking because she needs to take the edge off; she’s got so many existential thoughts going on in that mind of hers. She is the girl we most want to be.

And while it’s fun to be this girl in a bar, it’s even more fun to be her in the comfort of your own home. This way, you don’t even have to wear a bra with your turtleneck.

Honestly, if you’re coming home from a shit day and in the mood to make yourself an artisanal cocktail, this is the one to make. You can journal, you can read Joan Didion. You can also watch the Housewives. We’re not judging. You do you. You’ll only need one and soon enough you’ll think: “You know what, I just don’t have any more fucks to give.” Turtleneck not required.

SERVES 1

INGREDIENTS

1½ ounces gin

¾ ounce Campari

¾ ounce sweet vermouth

Twist of orange peel, for garnish

DIRECTIONS

• Combine the gin, Campari, and vermouth in a pint glass with ice.

• Stir with a spoon for 20 seconds.

• Strain into a chilled cocktail glass and garnish with the orange peel twist.

• Serve with no fucks whatsoever.