BFF BUFFET
MPB
When you get this email, do you scream? Do you run away in fear and decide to say good-bye to all your friends forever? Gabi and I bonded over how much we hated these emails, and she has developed the perfect way to act upon receiving them.
Respond right away, and offer instead to host a special girls’ brunch. You will go to the party, but you will not be involved in the planning. You’re doing your own thing. You cannot get involved with this Penny girl. You’re too busy and important for this email chain. Unsubscribe and just ask for final details. Sure, they’ll talk shit about you on that chain, but it’s worth it. It’s really very worth it.
This is also a kind way to bow out of the weekend if you’re not in the mood to crazy drink, don’t feel like / can’t spend the money on the weekend, or if you just have terrible social anxiety.
Directions follow.
So first, you need to buy (or ask other people to buy) the following:
Sparkling wine and orange juice for mimosas: figure 1 bottle of champers for every 4 to 5 people (increase if your guests are heavy drinkers)
Sparkling water or lemonade: usually 4 to 5 large bottles is good for a 20-person party
Paper plates, cups, napkins, forks, and serving ware (unless you have enough regular stuff and don’t mind doing the dishes / coercing someone else to do so)
A fruit platter: either make it with various fresh fruits or buy a premade one at the deli)
A few cheeses and crackers
A few nice loaves of bread or rolls to serve with the meal
Here’s what to cook: