DIRTY GIRL MARTINI

GLM

While I’ll drink bourbon straight, and I love a good tequila or mezcal, I haven’t come around to vodka yet. Even the good stuff tastes like rubbing alcohol to me. Some better brands of rubbing alcohol than others, but definitely something I would use to clean out a cut.

In college, my friend Jen taught me how to mix Crystal Light with vodka to make fruit-flavored drinks that got us smashed basically without our realizing it. When you’re nineteen and have the cheapest vodka and a terrible fake ID you can buy in your dorm, this is maybe in the realm of appropriate. Anytime after that? No longer okay.

That’s why adult ladies who want to drink vodka but not really taste it turn to the drink of the eighties, the dirty martini. It’s only called dirty because olive brine is added. I realize it sounds like a weird addition, but if you’ve ever had a pickleback (Google it), you know that punchy, vinegary flavors go well with booze.

Plus, it’s so fun to order. Especially if you ask for it “extra dirty” in a husky Scarlett Johansson voice.

SERVES 1

INGREDIENTS

Twist of lemon peel

2½ ounces vodka or gin

½ ounce brine from cocktail olive jar

⅛ ounce extra-dry vermouth

1 cup ice cubes

2 cocktail olives, for garnish

DIRECTIONS

• Use a lighter or match to light the tip of the lemon peel twist on fire. Blow out immediately (it shouldn’t burn very much). Set aside.

• Shake the vodka or gin, brine, and vermouth with the ice in a cocktail shaker.

• Strain into a chilled martini glass or cocktail glass.

• Garnish with the olives and burnt twist and serve.