THIRD DATE DUMPLINGS

GLM

There’s plenty of conventional wisdom about the proper order of operations for a new relationship: when a first kiss should be, when first-time sex should take place, and when you might meet each other’s friends. But to my knowledge, there isn’t much out there about when it’s a good idea to introduce cooking into a budding relationship.

When I first began working with food professionally, I loved the thrill of impressing men I was dating (or trying to date) with a home-cooked meal right out of the gate. Who doesn’t love a delicious meal cooked solely for him by a girl doing her best to look cute? (Anyone who has chopped onions while wearing mascara can attest that this is not easy.)

At first, this would seem like a great idea. Praising my culinary prowess, my dates would lick their plates clean, and if I was lucky, offer to help with the dishes. But then one of two scenarios would transpire:

1. I’d never hear from the guy again.

2. We’d continue seeing each other, but it would become expected that I keep cooking. Eager to be loved, I would confuse my suitor’s affection for my Bolognese sauce with affection for me. Rather than go out on dates, I’d continue whipping up gourmet meals for the two of us. But a tiny seed of resentment would be planted… one that no amount of dishwashing could temper. Eventually, I’d end it.

When I met Evan, I didn’t want to make this mistake again. After our first date, in a bar, and our second, a picnic in a park where we got tipsy on cheap wine and shared our first kiss, I came up with a way that he and I could cook together.

My thinking was that if we worked on our meal as a team, we could share in the fun of eating the fruits of our labors, plus, it wouldn’t accidentally establish an expectation that I was the sole cook in the relationship.

Because I didn’t know what his culinary skill level was, I knew I had to come up with something simple. I didn’t want to overwhelm him or make a big mess that we’d have to clean up afterward, but I also knew I wanted something with a fair amount of hands-on time, so it felt like an actual activity. Finally, I figured it out: homemade dumplings.

I bought dumpling skins at my local Asian grocery store (if you don’t live near an Asian specialty market, look for wonton or potsticker skins near the tofu in your supermarket), and we made a simple vegetarian filling. Together, we sat at my kitchen table, rolling the dumplings, talking, laughing, and drinking beer all the while. Cleanup afterward was simple, which was a good thing, because the moment we each ate our last dumpling, we moved to the couch to make out.

SERVES 2, WITH LEFTOVERS

INGREDIENTS

2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and diced

1½ tablespoons soy sauce, plus more for dipping

2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil

4 green onions, thinly sliced

1 clove garlic, minced

1 (½-inch) piece ginger, peeled and grated

2 teaspoons sriracha or other Asian chili sauce (more or less to taste)

30 small round dumpling wrappers

Coconut or other vegetable oil, for frying

Rice vinegar, for dipping

DIRECTIONS

• Bring a pot of salted water to a boil and cook the sweet potatoes until very tender, about 10 minutes.

• Drain the sweet potatoes and rinse with cold water until cool to the touch. Transfer to a mixing bowl.

• Use the back of a fork to mash the sweet potatoes until smooth. Add the soy sauce, sesame oil, green onions (reserve a pinch for the sauce), garlic, ginger, and Asian chili sauce (check with your date about spice tolerance before adding that last one).

• To assemble the dumplings, lay a dumpling wrapper flat on your work surface. Brush the edges lightly with water (use a clean finger or a small pastry brush).

• Place about 2 teaspoons of the sweet potato mixture in the center of the wrapper. Fold the wrapper in half and make 5 to 6 small pleats as you seal the edges together, pinching gently to ensure total closure.

• Transfer the folded dumpling onto a floured baking sheet or platter and repeat with the remaining filling and wrappers.

• To cook the dumplings, heat a couple of tablespoons of the oil in a large frying pan that has a fitted lid over medium heat. (Set the lid within easy reach.)

• Working in batches, arrange the dumplings close to one another (but not touching) in the pan, flat side down, and cook for 2 to 3 minutes, until a golden crust begins to develop on the bottom.

• Carefully pour ⅛ cup water over the dumplings, then cover the pan quickly and let steam for about 3 minutes.

• Remove the lid and let the dumplings aerate until the excess water is cooked away and the bottoms become crisp again.

• Transfer the cooked dumplings to a serving platter and repeat with the remaining uncooked dumplings, adding more oil as needed.

• Serve immediately with a half-and-half mixture of soy sauce and rice vinegar with the reserved green onions for dipping.