01/29/89 Mom tells Calvin to eat his dinner. Spaceman Spiff is held over a pit of putrid pasta. Our hero's mind races furiously. The aliens say that he's had his chance. Let's make him eat. Calvin looks surprised, points behind Mom and Dad, and tells them to look behind them. When they look, Calvin runs off. One alien says the human scum has escaped. The other says tomorrow morning, he'll have cold manicotti for breakfast. 5,100; 8,30; 10,35

01/30/89 Hobbes looks at all the snowmen Calvin made. Calvin says they're effigies. Each one represents someone he hates. Calvin says when the sun comes out, he'll watch the snowmen melt until they're nothing but noses and eyes floating in pools of water. Hobbes looks to the distance. He says he didn't know Calvin knew so many people. 8,31; 10,36

01/31/89 Calvin tells Hobbes he's writing a book about his life, titled "Calvin: The Shocking True Story of the Boy Whose Exploits Panicked a Nation". Hobbes asks what exploits he's referring to. Calvin admits that's the problem. He asks Hobbes for some he could do. 8,31; 10,36

02/01/89 Susie doesn't want Calvin to sit next to her at lunch. She doesn't want to know what revolting thing he has for lunch today. Calvin tells her to relax, he's not going to tell her what he has. Calvin looks at his sandwich and says he sure feels sorry for his tapeworm. Susie yells for Miss Wormwood. 8,31; 10,36

02/02/89 Calvin puts a snowman on his toboggan. He tells Hobbes it's a crash test dummy. He's going to see if the hill is safe to go down. Calvin pushes the toboggan forward, and down it goes. They both watch the toboggan. Hobbes holds his paws over his mouth and says he thinks he's going to be sick. Calvin proclaims he wouldn't have steered that way. He says the snowman deserved it. 8,33; 10,38

02/03/89 Calvin claims the air pressure in the room is too high. He sucks in his cheeks and stretches his eyes vertically. He says his organs are in danger of collapsing. He's about to implode. Mom, Dad, and Calvin are sitting at a restaurant table. Calvin says they have to get out of there. There's too much atmosphere. Mom tells him to sit still and behave. She tells him they can't eat at fast food places all the time. 8,33; 10,38

02/04/89 Calvin complains the television shows are rotten. There's no imagination in the bunch. He asks Hobbes who they think is stupid enough to sit and watch this trash. As Hobbes walks off, he says "You". Calvin replies if there was anything better on, he would watch that. 8,33; 10,38

02/05/89 Calvin makes a bunch of tiny snowmen. He stands in the middle of them. He gets an evil look on his face. The tyrannosaurus is loose in the city. People are running in fear. 5,101; 8,32; 10,37

02/06/89 Calvin sees Mom with her hair wrapped in a towel. He says since she showered now, she and Dad must be going out. He also notices that he wasn't asked to clean up, so that means he's staying home. Since he's staying home, that means Mom has gotten a baby sitter. With a gasp, he realizes that means Mom probably hired Rosalyn! Mom confirms his fears by saying "Brilliant, Holmes". Calvin yells in horror. 8,35; 10,40

02/07/89 Calvin runs to his bedroom warning Hobbes that they have to hide since Rosalyn is coming. Hobbes says they're usually in bed by 6:30. Calvin adds they get no TV, no horsing around. She walks in and sends them straight to bed. Hobbes complains she doesn't even give them a good night kiss. Calvin makes a face and asks if he would really want her to. 8,35; 10,40

02/08/89 Calvin asks Dad where they're going that night. He wonders why he and Hobbes can't come along. Dad says they're going to dinner and a movie to get some time by themselves. Calvin says that he could come. Hobbes wouldn't kill anyone. Calvin asks why they can't come, why aren't they wanted around. He asks if the movie's dirty or something. Dad tells Mom that they'll have a dinner with real pauses in the conversation. Can she imagine? 8,35; 10,40

02/09/89 Mom lets Rosalyn in. She tells Rosalyn that Calvin is upstairs hiding from her, so she may have an easy evening. Rosalyn says that would be good, since she has to study for a big test tomorrow. Upstairs, Calvin and Hobbes are listening around the corner. As Hobbes rubs his paws together, and Calvin puts on an evil smile, he declares that tonight is "The Revenge of the Baby Sat". 8,36; 10,41

02/10/89 Rosalyn is studying her papers at the table. Calvin comes up and asks what she's doing. She tells him she has to study tonight, so she wants it quiet. Calvin says he understands and tells her he and Hobbes won't make a peep. He asks to see what she's studying. As Rosalyn tells him not to touch anything, Calvin grabs her notes and runs away. 8,36; 10,41

02/11/89 Rosalyn chases Calvin, who has her study notes. Calvin and Hobbes run into the bathroom. They lock the door just before Rosalyn gets there. She tells Calvin through the bathroom door that if he doesn't open the door, his parents will never find his remains. Calvin holds her papers over the open toilet and tells her "Here go your notes". 8,36; 10,41

02/12/89 Calvin gets a valentine in the mailbox. It's from Susie Derkins. Calvin reads the card, which says "Be my valentine". Hobbes starts making fun of Calvin. He starts singing "Calvin and Susie, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G". Calvin says he's not her valentine just because he got that in the mail. He asks if the Postmaster General knows about this. Hobbes continues ridiculing Calvin by singing "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage". Calvin is horrified to think he has to kiss Susie if they're valentines. Calvin wants a lawyer. He says she can't make him her valentine. Hobbes sees Susie coming. Susie says hi to Calvin, who throws the valentine on the ground. He tells her to get away from him, and he's not her valentine. He tells her to take her card back. Susie tells Calvin the card wasn't for him. She asks if he read the back of the envelope. When Calvin looks at it, it reads "Calvin, please give this to Hobbes". Calvin is shocked! Hobbes, with a smile on his face, says "Hot Dog! Smooch City, here I come". 5,102; 8,34; 10,39

02/13/89 Rosalyn pounds on the bathroom door telling Calvin he has two seconds to unlock the door and return her science notes. Calvin suggests she adopt a more humble attitude. He warns her she wouldn't want anything to happen to the notes. Rosalyn rattles the door knob, calls Calvin a "Scummy little troll". As she's telling him what she'll do when Calvin's parents get home, she hears the toilet flush. Calvin tells her "There's one page". Rosalyn is horrified. 8,37; 10,42

02/14/89 Rosalyn grits her teeth and says Calvin had better not really have flushed her notes. She has a test tomorrow. Calvin says with that at stake, his demands should seem reasonable. Rosalyn says he doesn't get any demands. She wants him to open the door. As Calvin walks over to the toilet, he says a high school senior should catch on quicker. He says he should write the school board. Hobbes readies the "torpedo tube". 8,37; 10,42

02/15/89 Calvin tells her he hopes she memorized the page already, because she'll never see it again. She tells him not to flush it and asks what his demands are. Calvin tells her he wants to stay up until his parents drive in. Then, he wants Rosalyn to get a pizza and rent a video player. She tells him he's out of his mind. Calvin continues and asks if she's writing these down. 8,37; 10,42

02/16/89 Hobbes doesn't hear Rosalyn any more. Calvin calls out to her. No answer. Calvin wonders if she went away. Hobbes says they still have her notes. Calvin can't figure out what she's doing. Hobbes wonders if she's calling the fire department to open the door with an axe. Calvin thinks that would be great. He hopes they bring their biggest truck. Hobbes hopes Mom and Dad are having a restful evening. 8,38; 10,43

02/17/89 Calvin opens the bathroom door and peeks out. He calls to Rosalyn, asking if she's calling the fire department. She darts around the corner and grabs Calvin. As she carries him off, he tells her he didn't really flush her notes. He says they're all there and asks her not to kill him. He's put to bed. Hobbes points out it's 7:00. They got to stay up a half hour longer than usual. 8,38; 10,43

02/18/89 Mom and Dad return home. Mom asks if Rosalyn had a quiet evening and got her studying done. Rosalyn has a worn look to her face. She says she's sorry, but tonight is going to cost them. Having paid Rosalyn, and her having left, Dad asks Mom if she's sure that no one in town will baby-sit Calvin. Mom replies that maybe he'd like to spend a week on the phone. 8,38; 10,43

02/19/89 Calvin builds a snowman he is using as a Calvin decoy. He dresses the snowman in his hat and coat. He tells Hobbes he's going to hide behind the tree and watch to see who throws snowballs at the decoy. He'll find out who his enemies are. Hobbes looks at the snowman and says Calvin's enemies must not be too bright. Calvin agrees, saying that's why they're out to get him. They can't stand his genius. As Calvin hides behind the tree, Hobbes yells that he sees a way his plan might fail. Calvin tells him to quiet down. Hobbes smacks Calvin with a snowball. Calvin, poking out upside down from the snow, says his plan to discover his enemies was a complete success. Hobbes says it's too bad he took off his hat and coat, because he must be soaked. 5,103; 8,39; 10,44

02/20/89 On their sled, Calvin says they're at the top of "Suicide Slope". Below them are the skeletal remains of hundreds of little sled riders. Searching for that ultimate adrenaline rush, they prepare to go over the brink. What fate awaits them? Calvin asks if Hobbes is ready. Hobbes says no. Calvin goes on to say life and death hang in the balance. A fraction of a second and one wrong term is all that separate them. Hobbes tells him this isn't helping. 8,40; 10,45

02/21/89 Going down the slope, Calvin says Dad tells him the anticipation of something is often more fun than having it. Calvin thinks he's crazy. Calvin hates waiting for things. He likes to have things immediately. As they fly over a small gorge, Calvin can't think of anything he'd rather anticipate than have. He asks if Hobbes does. Hobbes covers his eyes and says death. As they head into the briar patch, Calvin doesn't know why he bothers discussing things with Hobbes when he's always so morbid. 8,40; 10,45

02/22/89 Calvin tells Hobbes he wishes snow was dry so you didn't get all cold and wet when you play in it. Then, he mentions that you couldn't make snowballs, which is bad. He then wishes it snowed in summer. But that would make it hard to run when you play baseball. As he and Hobbes walk away, he decides things are okay as they are. Hobbes is glad he approves. 8,40; 10,45

02/23/89 Mom and Dad are walking down the sidewalk. They look into a yard and see a snowman with a hat and broom. A little further on, they see a snowman with a scarf and cap. They keep walking past a snowman with a small snowman next to it. They come to their yard and see a snowman with two heads, with both heads having their mouths open. Dad says you can always tell when you get to their house. 8,41; 10,46

02/24/89 Calvin and Hobbes are each in a snow fort. There is a bunch of snowballs lying on the snow in front of each fort. Calvin says he thinks their snow forts are too far apart. 8,41; 10,46

02/25/89 Calvin bends his knees and jumps into the air. POP! His skeleton comes up from his skin. Calvin, the skeleton, leaves his skin in a pile and walks away. He says now he'll see if Mom jumps out of her skin. 8,41; 10,46

02/26/89 Mom is sewing in her chair as Calvin walks by. Calvin walks by later with a conical hat and a cape. Mom keeps sewing. She hears a CLUMP and walks to the window to see what it was. She sees a ladder sitting against the wall. She races out of the house, looking up at the roof. The pteranodon spreads his wings and prepares to soar. 5,104; 8,42; 10,47

02/27/89 Calvin, eating a bowl of cereal, tells Hobbes he could order an official Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs beanie. It has a battery-powered propeller on top and a star on the front. Hobbes notices you need to send in four "Proof of Purchase Seals" to get it. Calvin hands him a bowl and tells him to not just sit there or this will take forever. Hobbes says that cereal always makes his heart skip. 8,43; 10,49

02/28/89 Hobbes feels sick. Calvin chides him by telling him it's only his second bowl of cereal. Hobbes complains that it's pure sugar. Calvin retorts that it's fortified with eight essential vitamins, so it's good for you. Hobbes responds that it's like eating a bowl of Milk Duds. Calvin shows him on the box where it says its' a part of a wholesome, nutritious, balanced breakfast. Hobbes points out the picture shows a guy eating five grapefruits and a dozen bran muffins. Calvin is shaking from all the sugar. He tells Hobbes that the reason Hobbes is shaking is due to a vitamin deficiency, he bets. 8,43; 10,49

03/01/89 Calvin asks Dad how his breakfast is. Calvin describes Dad's oatmeal as a bowl of pasty, bland, colorless sludge. He offers Dad a bowl of "tasty, lip-smacking, crunchy-on-the-outside, chewy-on-the-inside, Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs". Dad says no thanks. He's trying to reach middle age. Calvin asks Mom if she's having boring old toast and tea. Mom tells him if he wants the beanie, he eats the cereal. 8,43; 10,49

03/02/89 Calvin's still eating cereal. He says he has one and a half more boxes to eat before he has enough "Proof of Purchase Seals" to order the propeller beanie they offer. He pours himself another bowl. He looks into the box. He says he has one and one third more boxes to go. His cheeks puff out and he sticks his tongue out. He says "Man, I'm earning this". 8,44; 10,50

03/03/89 Calvin excitedly tells Hobbes he ate enough cereal and has enough proofs of purchase to order his beanie. Calvin thinks it will be so cool, he can't wait. Hobbes tells him it says to allow six weeks for delivery. Calvin is shocked! In six weeks, he'll be old. Hobbes pats his head and says his beanie will be the talk of the rest home. 8,44; 10,50

03/04/89 Sitting in the school bus, Calvin thinks of himself wearing the beanie. Sitting at his desk in school, Calvin thinks of himself wearing the beanie. Getting off the school bus at the end of the day, Calvin thinks of himself wearing the beanie. He asks Mom if his beanie came in the mail. She tells him she just mailed the order that day. Calvin shuffles off saying he'll never make it six weeks. 8,44; 10,50

03/05/89 Calvin tells Hobbes "A penny for your thoughts". Hobbes says his thoughts are worth a buck apiece. Calvin says that's outrageous, no thoughts are worth a dollar. Hobbes says his are. Calvin wouldn't give a nickel for any thought Hobbes has had in his whole flea-ridden existence. Hobbes raises the price to ten dollars. Calvin refuses to be extorted. He tells Hobbes to keep his thought. Hobbes tells him he'd beg to pay it if he knew what it was. Calvin asks Hobbes to tell it. Hobbes refuses. Calvin gives Hobbes a quarter. It's all he has. Hobbes demands to see the quarter. When he's paid, Calvin asks Hobbes what is his big, expensive thought. Hobbes replies "A fool and his money are soon parted". That starts a fight. 5,105; 8,49; 10,48

03/06/89 Calvin is chattering away at night in his bed about his beanie. Calvin hopes it comes soon. He thinks it's been six weeks. He goes on to say he ordered the red beanie, but what if it's not in stock. Should he take the blue one or wait for a reorder? Hobbes rolls his eyes. Calvin continues talking about always wanting a beanie. He says it will be so cool to have it. A red one...or a blue one. He asks Hobbes if he thinks it will come tomorrow. Hobbes is covering his head with a pillow trying to sleep. He says it sure had better. 8,45; 10,51

03/07/89 Sitting at his desk at school, Calvin dreams of flying over the town in his beanie. He dreams of flying with the jet airliners. Mom asks him how school was. Calvin says it was a blast...did his beanie come today? 8,45; 10,51

03/08/89 At his desk, hands clenched in prayer, Calvin prays for the beanie to come in the mail that day. He promises he'll never be bad again. He promises never to ask for another favor if he gets the beanie today. He runs in the house and asks Mom if the beanie came. She says no. Calvin goes outside, looks into the sky, and yells "What's it take, huh". 8,45; 10,51

03/09/89 Calvin tells Hobbes he gets his hopes up every day, thinking his beanie will come, then it doesn't. Every day that goes by, he figures, increases his chances the next day will be the one. His hopes get higher and higher before they fall. He says he's been disappointed so often, he thinks he's getting numb to it. Hobbes says maybe the mailman made a second trip and came by and delivered it in the last five minutes. Calvin races off saying he never thought of that. Hobbes replies that he's not numb. 8,46; 10,52

03/10/89 Calvin is sitting on the steps.  He keeps sitting there, and he starts to doze off.  Suddenly, he perks up and runs to the mailbox.  He opens it, and he pulls out a couple envelopes.  He looks disappointed.  He says the longer you wait for the mail, the less there is in it. 8,46; 10,52

03/11/89 Calvin walks through the door, looking tired.  He asks if his beanie came in the mail.  He's sure it didn't.  Mom gives him the box and tells him it did come in.  Calvin is ecstatic.  He says it took weeks of waiting, but it's finally here.  He gets to finally put it on.  He tears the package open with a wild look in his eyes.  He pulls out a paper from inside the box.  It reads "Some assembly required.  Batteries not included". 8,46; 10,52

03/12/89 Calvin complains to Hobbes that he's only having a little fun, when he should be having a lot of fun.  Since it's Sunday, he only has a precious few hours of freedom before he has to return to school.  He has to squeeze all the possible fun out of the day.  Valuable minutes are disappearing, as Calvin is not having the time of his life.  He tells Hobbes they have to have more fun.  Off they run.  Hobbes says he didn't realize fun was so much work.  Calvin says when you're serious about having fun, it's not much fun at all. 5,106; 8,50; 10,55

03/13/89 Calvin isn't happy that he has to assemble his beanie propeller and motor himself.  Calvin asks if they think he's an engineer. He has to insert wires into a plastic switch.  He says he can't do this. Hobbes offers to try.  Calvin says no and grabs the switch away from Hobbes.  He says Hobbes will probably goof it all up.  SNAP!  Something breaks.  Calvin is horrified, but Hobbes says when you insult a tiger it's bad luck every time. 8,47; 10,53

03/14/89 Calvin is horrified!  His motor broke, the piece snapped. He's worried his beanie propeller won't work.  He rants that he waited for weeks, and now it's broken.  He never got to wear the beanie.  He turns to Hobbes and says it was his fault.  He tries to hit Hobbes, who holds him away by his head.  Hobbes reminds him he was just sitting.  Calvin broke it.  Calvin angrily accuses Hobbes of willing him to break it by using some subliminal thing.  Hobbes concentrates and says he's willing Calvin to go jump in the septic tank. 8,47; 10,53

03/15/89 Hobbes asks Calvin why he's mad at him.  Calvin doesn't even want to talk to Hobbes.  Hobbes points out Calvin broke the beanie, not him.  Calvin insists Hobbes distracted him.  Hobbes points a finger at Calvin and says he was just sitting there, Calvin broke it by himself. Calvin sniffles his agreement, then adds that considering his life is in shambles right now, couldn't Hobbes at least take the blame. 8,47; 10,53

03/16/89 Calvin sadly brings his motor and propeller to Dad, asking if he can fix it.  Dad looks at it and decides Calvin only broke the battery case.  He glues it together and inserts the switch.  He holds it up and declares it good as new.  He says they'll let it sit so the glue dries. Calvin happily says Dad fixed it.  He can't believe it.  He calls out to Mom that Dad actually fixed something. 8,48; 10,54

03/17/89 Calvin runs out to show Hobbes his completed beanie.  He puts it on and asks Hobbes how it looks.  Hobbes thinks about it and says adjectives fail him.  Calvin turns the beanie on.  The propeller spins. Calvin says he doesn't seem to be lifting off.  This is very peculiar. Hobbes points and says that's the word he was looking for. 8,48; 10,54

03/18/89 Calvin tells Hobbes the beanie isn't making him fly.  He asks what's the point of a propeller beanie if you can't even fly when you wear it.  Hobbes offers that the point isn't "style", certainly.  Calvin kicks the beanie and complains that he ate all that cereal, waited all those weeks, assembled it, and it doesn't fly.  What a rip off!  He says it's not a total loss, though.  It came in a great cardboard box. 8,48; 10,54

03/19/89 Calvin is sleepy and sighs at his school desk.  Suddenly, the desk grows into a dinosaur.  Calvin hops onto the dinosaur as it runs out of the school.  Miss Wormwood smacks Calvin's desk with a stick, and he wakes up.  Gradually, his eyes close again and he sighs.  This time, he's flying on the back of a pterodactyl. 5,107; 8,57; 10,62

03/20/89 Mom opens Calvin's bedroom door and tells him this is the third time she's called him.  He needs to get up.  Calvin grumbles that he doesn't want to get up or go to school.  Mom says he has to, whether he wants to or not.  Calvin sits up in the bed and tells Mom that for her information, he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do.  Mom asks if that's so.  Calvin, standing outside waiting for the school bus, says Mom sure can make you want to do something. 8,51; 10,56

03/21/89 Calvin is grousing about not wanting to catch the bus or go to school.  With a frown on his face, he says he's tired of everyone telling him what to do.  He hates his life, he hates everything.  He wishes he was dead.  He thinks about it, then says not really.  He says he wishes everyone else was dead. 8,51; 10,56

03/22/89 Susie says hi to Calvin.  HMPH, he grumbles.  Susie asks what's the matter.  Calvin tells her to go step in front of a cement mixer. Susie calls Calvin a jerk.  She tells him he can just stand there and be grumpy all by himself.  Now Susie is frowning.  Calvin gives a nasty smile and thinks nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around. 8,51; 10,56

03/23/89 Susie asks Calvin what he's so mad about.  She asks if he didn't find all the bugs he needed for his insect collection.  Susie asks where his collection is, since it's due today.  Calvin, with a start, says he forgot his collection.  Susie tells him to go home and get it.  He might make it back before the bus arrives.  Calvin gets on the ground and says that's not what he meant.  He tells Susie to help him find some ants.  She asks if he forgot it entirely. 8,52; 10,57

03/24/89 Calvin is running around trying to catch bugs.  He tells Susie to help him.  She explains they were supposed to be working on the projects all month.  She tells him he can't do the whole thing on the last morning while waiting for the bus.  She asks how he could possibly have forgotten it.  She tells him it's all the class has been doing.  What has he been doing?  Susie asks if he doesn't care about getting a good education.  Calvin, on hands and knees looking for bugs, asks Susie if he can have any bugs that fly into her open mouth. 8,52; 10,57

03/25/89 Susie tells him the bus is coming.  Calvin finds a bug. Susie tells him he's wasting his time.  The teacher will know he didn't spend any time on the collection.  Calvin tells her to stall the bus driver.  Susie reminds him they were supposed to have 50 insects.  He'll be lucky to have any.  Calvin jumps into the air and stomps on a bug.  He holds his shoe up to Susie and asks what kind it is.  He tells her to scrape it off.  Susie runs off, telling him to get away from her. 8,52; 10,57

03/26/89 Mom opens the bedroom door and tells him to get out of bed, he's going to miss the bus.  He stands at the blackboard doing a math problem.  Miss Wormwood tells him to sit down if he doesn't know the answer.  Moe holds him up by his shirt, clenches his fist, and asks Calvin if he wants to see if there's an afterlife.  As Calvin tries to go out his bedroom window, he's told he can't go out to play until his homework is done.  Calvin stirs his dinner, and Dad tells him just to eat it and not to play with it.  Mom tells him to quit stalling and to take his bath.  Dad turns off the TV and tells him he can't stay up later and to go to bed. Mom comes in after Calvin climbs in bed.  She kisses his forehead and tells Calvin to get a good night's sleep.  Tomorrow's another big day.  After the light is turned out, Calvin sighs. 5,108; 8,59; 10,64; 14,84; 17,40-41

03/27/89 On the bus, Calvin is still looking for bugs.  He checks the bus window.  Susie can't believe he's doing this.  He tells her to ask another kid if he has bugs in his window.  Susie tells him there's no way he'll complete an insect collection on the way to school.  She tells him to forget it.  He agrees.  Then, Calvin asks Susie how much she wants for her collection.  He starts at a quarter, then raises it to thirty cents.  Susie replies that she spent a month on it. 8,53; 10,58

03/28/89 Calvin looks at a puddle.  He sees a worm.  He asks if worms are bugs.  Susie tells him that worm has been floating for days.  Calvin has ten minutes before class starts.  If he catches five bugs a minute, he'll get an "A".  He finds another insect on the ground.  Susie tells him that's a little ball of lint.  Calvin is sure the teacher won't look real close at every hairy bug in 30 kids' collections. 8,53; 10,58

03/29/89 The bell rings.  Calvin doesn't have his insects.  He has a drowned worm, a piece of fuzzy lint that looks like a bug, a live ant, and a smashed fly.  Susie offers that if he scientifically names them in the next 30 seconds, he might get an "F+".  Calvin asks if he has to label them, too.  He was going to put them all in an envelope.  Susie says she doesn't think there's any way he'll get an "F+".  Calvin suggests that for all that work, he should at least get a "D". 8,53; 10,58

03/30/89 Calvin asks how Susie mounted her bugs.  She tells him with pins, in a box.  Calvin decides to mount his bugs on notebook paper.  Tape doesn't work too well as he tears the worm.  He asks Susie for her paste. She makes a face and suggests at the rate he's going, maybe he'd prefer a stapler. 8,54; 10,59

03/31/89 Calvin whispers over to Susie to help him think of scientific names of his bugs while the teacher's not looking.  Susie tells him they're not supposed to talk in class.  She tells him to do it himself. Miss Wormwood asks if Susie is having a pleasant conversation.  Susie is horrified!  Miss Wormwood asks her to move up front so she doesn't distract Calvin anymore.  Calvin says he tried to get her to be quiet, but you know how girls are. 8,54; 10,59

04/01/89 Susie is angry at her desk.  She's mad at Calvin.  He didn't do his assignment, he was the one who was talking, he should be sitting up front instead of her.  As she covers her face with her hands, she thinks she wasn't doing anything wrong, but she got in trouble.  She hopes Calvin feels bad about it.  Calvin is writing Susie a note which asks her how the view is up there.  He writes that he wants her to try to steal a chalkboard eraser for him. 8,54; 10,59

04/02/89 Spaceman Spiff blasts across the galaxy.  Miss Wormwood asks Calvin to demonstrate the next problem.  A Zok death sloop appears and fries Spiff's stabilizers.  He hurls out of control toward his doom. Calvin writes the math problem on the chalkboard.  The situation is desperate.  What can our hero do?  He downshifts his spacecraft and...stalls.  Calvin writes a bunch of numbers and lines on the board. The class bell rings.  Oh, darn, out of time.  Spaceman Spiff once again beats all odds to save the day. 5,109; 8,61; 10,66

04/03/89 Susie is passed a note.  It's from Calvin.  He wrote a poem. Roses are red, a deep crimson hue, when you got in trouble, you sure were too.  Susie is enraged.  She starts writing a note to Calvin, calling him dirty, rotten, lousy, stinking, and a nasty piece of moldy scum.  As she's writing, Miss Wormwood catches her and asks if she's now writing notes in class.  Once again, Susie is horrified! 8,55; 10,60

04/04/89 Susie is being sent to the principal's office.  She is very worried.  She says it's all Calvin's fault.  He got her in trouble.  She wonders what she'll do.  As she walks down the wide, empty hall toward the office, she says that they make the hall to the principal's office that wide on purpose. 8,55; 10,60

04/05/89 Calvin, at his desk, thinks that Susie is really in trouble. He wipes his brow and thinks he got a break when the teacher blamed Susie for everything.  Suddenly, he worries if Susie will rat on him, if they'll make her sing, if she'll squeal, and if she'll finger him.  Susie is talking to the principal.  She tells him she was worried he wouldn't believe her.  The principal brings out a folder bulging with papers.  He says they have quite a file on their friend, Calvin. 8,55; 10,60

04/06/89 Calvin sees Susie returning from the principal's office.  He thinks she looks pale.  He wonders what happened.  Calvin whispers over to her.  He asks what they did to her.  Did she get expelled?  He asks if she snitched on him, and Susie looks at him with an evil smile.  Calvin says she's a stoolie, a canary.  She tells him he's going up the river. 8,56; 10,61

04/07/89 Calvin is telling Hobbes that first, he got in trouble for not paying attention in class.  He turned in his last-minute insect collection, for which he received a "D minus minus".  Then, he got in trouble for getting Susie into trouble.  Then, he got in trouble when he told Mom and then got in trouble again when she told Dad.  He complains he's been in hot water since he got up.  Hobbes tells Calvin that he bets all that makes him get his book report finished right on time.  Calvin replies "My what". 8,56; 10,61

04/08/89 The giraffe is uniquely suited to its environment.  His tremendous height allows him to munch the succulent morsels most difficult to reach.  Calvin is on stilts, walking over to the cookie jar on top the cabinet. 8,56; 10,61

04/09/89 Calvin tells Hobbes he doesn't believe in ethics anymore. As far as he's concerned, the end justifies the means.  He goes on to say you should get while the getting's good, might makes right, and winners write the history books.  He figures it's a dog-eat-dog world, so he'll do what he has to and let others argue whether it's "right" or not.  Hobbes pushes Calvin into a mud puddle.  Calvin asks why he did that.  Hobbes tells him he was in his way, now he's not.  The end justifies the means. Calvin tells him he didn't mean for everyone, just him. 5,110; 8,62; 10,69

04/10/89 Calvin is running through the house.  Mom finally catches him and puts him to bed.  He remembers something.  Mom sees him playing with his toys downstairs.  She asks what he thinks he's doing back down there.  Calvin replies that Mom didn't read him his rights. 8,58; 10,63

04/11/89 Calvin runs up to Dad, telling him aliens just landed in their back yard.  Dad asks what they look like.  Calvin tells him like baked potatoes with laser guns.  Dad asks if they said what they wanted. Calvin replies they want ten dollars.  Dad says he bets they do.  Calvin offers that since Dad is so busy, he could give the money to Calvin and he'll take it over to them. 8,58; 10,63

04/12/89 Calvin is walking along with a closed umbrella.  It starts to sprinkle, and Calvin opens the umbrella.  As it's pouring, he sets the umbrella down upside down so he makes a little pool.  He happily sits in the pool. 8,58; 10,63

04/13/89 Calvin asks Dad why he always reads his bedtime stories and not Mom.  Dad tells him that's the Dad's job.  From the other room, Mom yells that it appears to be the only Dad's job around here.  Calvin asks Dad if he left the dishes for Mom, again.  Dad yells back to the other room that tonight's story is called "Why Prince Charming Stayed Single". 8,60; 10,65

04/14/89 Calvin is in the bathtub talking to Hobbes.  He asks Hobbes to suppose Calvin grows up to become one of the world's greatest men of all time.  Suppose his name will be an inspiration to humanity for eons to come.  He asks what he history books will say, then answers that he spent much of his childhood unwillingly in the bathtub.  Calvin complains that his being in the tub is an indignity.  He asks if this situation is worthy of one of the greatest men of all time.  Calvin laments his likely historical significance is a terrible burden.  Hobbes asks if he'd rather they say his childhood was dirty and smelly. 8,60; 10,65

04/15/89 Calvin plugs one nostril and snorts in.  He opens his mouth to dredge up some saliva.  PTOOEY!  He spits it out.  He proudly tells Hobbes that they sure go farther when you make them up right.  Hobbes, making a face and holding his stomach, suggests they make up a new contest. 8,60; 10,65

04/16/89 Calvin runs from the school bus.  He approaches his door, but stops to think.  He sneaks around the house and enters a window.  He tiptoes over to the front door, where he starts to open it.  He yells that he's home.  Hobbes leaps by heading out the front door.  Calvin closes and locks the door behind Hobbes, calling him a chump.  There's a knock on the door.  Calvin yells out that he's not opening the door, and that he can just stay out there all night.  Mom is standing outside the house, at the door, with two grocery bags.  Hobbes is sitting on the step.  Mom says she can't wait to hear this one explained. 5,111; 8,65; 10,70

04/17/89 Calvin is hiccupping.  He walks over to Hobbes to tell him. Each time he tries to say he has hiccups, he can't finish the sentence. Hobbes starts asking him what he has.  He asks if Calvin has a dollar, a comic book, what?  Calvin continues to try to tell Hobbes, but he keeps hiccupping.  Hobbes, with an impish smile, says he loves doing this. 8,63; 10,67

04/18/89 Calvin finally tells Hobbes he has the hiccups.  Calvin tells Hobbes to scare him.  Hobbes tells him the oceans are filled with garbage, there's a hole in the ozone that's frying the planet, and nuclear waste is piling up without any safe way to get rid of it.  Calvin tells Hobbes that he means surprise him.  Hobbes asks if that doesn't.  He says "Boy, you're cynical". 8,63; 10,67

04/19/89 Hobbes gives Calvin a cup of water.  He says drinking from the far side of the glass is supposed to cure hiccups.  Calvin tries to figure out how to do that.  Hobbes says he has to bend his head way over. Calvin tries it, and water pours over him.  He thanks Hobbes because he now has hiccups and water up his nose.  Hobbes says he thinks most hiccup cures were invented for the amusement of the patient's friends. 8,63; 10,67

04/20/89 Calvin says the hiccups are killing him.  Hobbes says eating a spoonful of sugar is supposed to help.  Calvin tries it.  Hobbes asks if he's cured.  Calvin says no, he better eat some more.  He digs the spoon back into the sugar. 8,64; 10,68

04/21/89 Calvin stops.  His hiccups went away by themselves.  He's relieved.  Suddenly, Hobbes pounces on Calvin.  He asks Calvin if he scared him and cured his hiccups.  Calvin hiccups several times. 8,64; 10,68

04/22/89 Mom asks Calvin if he'd like to have a jelly donut.  Calvin makes a face and says jelly donuts gross him out.  They're like eating giant, squishy bugs.  You bite into them and their purple guts spill out the other end.  He walks off telling Mom she can eat them.  Mom pushes the bag aside and says her friends ask her how she stays thin. 8,64; 10,68

04/23/89 In bed, Calvin says at night the world seems big and scary. He wishes he could fall asleep.  He looks over at Hobbes, who's sleeping. He notices that Hobbes looks funny when he sleeps.  Hobbes closes his eyes so tight.  He wonders what Hobbes is dreaming about.  Calvin touches him and says he's a friend.  Calvin lies back down and says things are never quite as scary when you have a best friend.  He closes his eyes, and he falls asleep next to Hobbes. 5,112; 8,72; 10,77

04/24/89 Mom scoots Calvin along.  She says they were supposed to have left a half-hour ago.  Calvin asks where they're going.  Mom tells him for the hundredth time they're going to a wedding.  She tells him to get in the car, Dad's waiting.  As Calvin climbs in, he asks what if he forgot something.  Dad says they'll only be gone overnight.  Hobbes' tail pokes out from the covers on Calvin's bed. 8,66; 10,71

04/25/89 Calvin tells Dad to turn the car around.  He forgot Hobbes. Dad says they can't turn around, they're late already.  Dad tells him he could have been ready on time and had his things ready.  He didn't, he put up a fuss, made them late, and he forgot his tiger.  Dad tells Calvin it's his own fault.  Calvin says Dad would turn around if they'd forgotten Mom. Dad tells him that's because she's the only person who knows where they're going. 8,66; 10,71

04/26/89 Dad, Mom, and Calvin are sitting in the church at the wedding.  Calvin is frowning, wondering when the wedding will be over.  He doesn't even know these people.  Calvin thinks it would be a lot more fun if Hobbes was there.  Calvin wonders what Hobbes will eat.  They didn't leave any food out.  Calvin realizes they'll be gone almost two whole days, Hobbes will be starving.  He thinks he'll let Dad go into the house first. 8,66; 10,71

04/27/89 In the hotel room, Calvin asks Mom how to make a long-distance call.  He wants to call Hobbes to make sure he's okay.  Mom tells him Hobbes won't answer and not to be silly.  She reminds him he'll see Hobbes tomorrow.  Calvin says Hobbes is probably all lonely.  Mom says she's sure Hobbes is having a good time.  Calvin hopes Hobbes isn't renting some movie Calvin wanted to see. 8,67; 10,72

04/28/89 Calvin tells Mom he can't sleep.  Mom says he can if he lies quietly.  Calvin says Hobbes isn't there.  He says tigers are comforting. He always falls asleep when he listens to Hobbes breathing.  Mom says Calvin can listen to Dad snoring.  Calvin says he thought that noise was trucks downshifting on the highway. 8,67; 10,72

04/29/89 The family arrives home, and Calvin runs into the house to see Hobbes.  Mom says she didn't think they'd ever get home.  She says the whole trip was one long compliant about leaving Hobbes at home.  Dad says next time, they should bring the tiger and forget the kid.  Dad notices it's drafty in the house.  Calvin points out the smashed window.  Mom is horrified that somebody broke in.  Calvin runs off to find Hobbes. 8,67; 10,72

04/30/89 Calvin and Hobbes are walking in the woods.  Calvin wishes people were more like animals.  He tells Hobbes animals don't try to change you, they just enjoy the pleasure of your company.  He explains animals aren't conditional about friendships.  Animals like you just the way you are.  They listen to your problems, comfort you when you're sad.  All they ask in return is a little kindness.  Hobbes sobs that it's all true and he blows his nose loudly.  Hobbes tells Calvin that speaking of a little kindness, he'd have a tuna fish sandwich any time soon that he happens to make one.  Calvin says that of course, some animals get on your nerves once in a while. 5,113; 8,81; 10,86

05/01/89 Dad goes to call the police.  Calvin runs for Hobbes.  Mom can't believe it's happening.  Calvin runs to Mom asking her to help him find Hobbes.  Mom calms him down by saying Hobbes is around there somewhere.  She doesn't think anyone would steal a stuffed tiger.  Calvin sniffs that Hobbes is so trusting. 8,68; 10,73

05/02/89 Dad says the police are sending someone over.  He asks Mom if she's figured out what's missing.  Mom says she's been looking for Hobbes since Calvin's almost hysterical.  Dad says he feels hysterical himself.  Mom hopes the police arrive soon.  She's scared.  Dad says that this is one of those things you always figure will happen to someone else. Unfortunately, he says, we're all "someone else" to someone else. 8,68; 10,73

05/03/89 Calvin looks in the closet for Hobbes.  As he races through the house, he's saying he told Mom and Dad they left Hobbes behind.  He tried to get them to turn around to get him, and now Hobbes was alone when the house was broken into.  Calvin looks under the sofa.  He says Mom told him Hobbes wouldn't have been stolen because he's not valuable.  He sits with tears falling down his face.  He sniffs and says that he thinks Hobbes is valuable. 8,68; 10,73

05/04/89 Calvin calls into the basement for Hobbes.  Mom finds Hobbes in Calvin's bed.  Calvin runs upstairs and asks if Hobbes is alright.  He hugs Hobbes and says he's so glad to see him.  Hobbes is safe and sound, and now Calvin is, too.  Mom says that it looks like they're a whole family again. 8,69; 10,74

05/05/89 Dad tells the police officer the TV was stolen.  Calvin comes over and tells the officer he bets the burglars ran off when they saw there was a tiger in the house.  Dad tells him he's busy, and not to bother them now.  Calvin continues by saying no one sticks around when he sees a tiger.  He says Hobbes has mandibles of death.  Dad tries to push Calvin to Mom.  Calvin keeps talking about Hobbes looking at mug shots and going to the station to look at suspects.  The officer thinks that he sure meets the weirdos in this job. 8,69; 10,74

05/06/89 Mom has swept up the glass from the window, Dad goes to get something to cover the hole.  Mom asks if it's safe to stay there overnight.  What if the burglars come back?  Dad says the police said they'd drive by, and they can leave lots of lights on.  Mom feels creepy knowing burglars were in the house.  She doesn't feel safe.  Dad says it must be really scary for a little kid like Calvin.  In bed, Calvin tells Hobbes he can't wait to tell everyone at school that their house was robbed.  Hobbes tells him to be sure to say who scared the burglars away after they took the TV and jewelry. 8,69; 10,74

05/07/89 Mild-mannered Calvin is stuck doing homework on a beautiful Sunday.  No one is watching.  He dashes into the closet.  This is a job for Stupendous Man, defender of freedom, advocate of liberty!  A crimson streak blasts through the atmosphere, then heads back toward earth.  Stupendous Man strikes the earth at an acute angle, using stupendous force.  The earth slowly stops rotating and begins turning in the other direction. Stupendous Man turns the planet all the way around backward.  The sun sets in the east and comes up in the west.  It's soon 10:00 AM the previous day. Mom asks what Calvin is doing outside.  She asks if he finished his schoolwork.  Calvin marches along in his Stupendous Man costume, saying it's Saturday.  He doesn't need to do it until tomorrow, thanks to Stupendous Man. 5,114; 8,82; 10,88

05/08/89 Dad asks Mom if Calvin's asleep.  She says he's snuggled up with Hobbes.  Dad doesn't know how he's going to sleep.  Mom agrees.  She can't get over what happened.  The idea of a stranger going through their house makes her shiver.  She wishes she had a big stuffed animal to feel safe with.  She hugs Dad.  He complains that how come he's the grown-up. What does he get to snuggle? 8,70; 10,75

05/09/89 Dad is sitting up in bed.  He thinks it's going to be a long night.  His heart jumps at the slightest sound.  It's almost 2:00, and he's wide awake.  When someone breaks into your home, it shatters your last illusion of security.  If you're not safe in your home, you're not safe anywhere.  He lays back down and thinks a man's home is his castle, but it shouldn't have to be a fortress. 8,70; 10,75

05/10/89 Mom asks Dad if he's still awake.  Dad is.  When he was little, he never thought about grown-ups worrying about anything.  He trusted his parents to take care of everything, and it never occurred to him they might not know how.  He thought when you were an adult, you automatically knew what to do in a given scenario.  He says he wouldn't have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if he knew the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed. 8,70; 10,75

05/11/89 Mom thinks that at least they weren't at home when the house was broken into.  No one was hurt, and they're all together and OK.  They lost a few nice things, but things don't matter much really.  As she cuddles up with Dad, she thinks it's hard to believe how often they forget that. 8,71; 10,76

05/12/89 At the dinner table, Calvin asks to be excused.  Mom says he didn't finish his dinner.  Calvin says he didn't like it very much, and there's a TV show he wants to watch.  Mom reminds him the TV was stolen. Calvin is disappointed.  He says he'll eat his asparagus, do his homework, then go straight to bed.  Mom says they're proud of how he handles adversity. 8,71; 10,76

05/13/89 Calvin shows Hobbes where their TV used to be.  Calvin says they don't have a TV to watch, only a blank wall.  He complains about not being entertained.  Hobbes asks if it's a pointless existence.  Calvin says that the wall is even plain old white. 8,71; 10,76

05/14/89 Calvin wakes Mom up to give her a Mother's Day card he made. She sits up and reads it.  It reads he could have bought a card with hearts of pink and red, but he thought he'd spend the money on him, instead.  It's hard to buy things with such a small allowance, so she's lucky he got her anything at all.  Happy Mother's Day, he's said it, now he's done.  So how about getting out of bed and cooking breakfast for her son?  Mom's deeply moved. 5,115; 8,84; 10,90

05/15/89 Calvin tells Hobbes he's going to start a new club, and he can be in it.  Calvin explains they'll have secret names, secret codes and secret handshake.  They'll have a secret clubhouse with a secret knock. Hobbes asks why all the secrecy?  Calvin tells him people pay more attention to you when they think you're up to something. 8,73; 10,78

05/16/89 Calvin says the first thing they'll need is a name for their secret club.  Hobbes suggests "The Hobbes Fan Club".  Calvin is outraged. He says the name has to be mysterious.  Something vaguely ominous and chilling.  He suggests "The Sinister Icy Black Hand of Death Club".  Hobbes likes his idea better. 8,73; 10,78

05/17/89 Calvin decides the club name should be Get Rid Of Slimy girlS, or G.R.O.S.S.  The first order of business is to elect officers. Hobbes wants to be president.  Calvin says no, because the whole idea of the club was his.  So he gets to be president.  Hobbes says then he wants to be king and tyrant.  Calvin changes his mind and says that's what he wants to be.  Hobbes can be president. 8,73; 10,78

05/18/89 Calvin and Hobbes are wearing paper hats.  Susie Derkins comes along and asks if she can make one, too.  Calvin tells her these are the official hats of the G.R.O.S.S. club.  Susie asks about the "slimy girls" part.  Calvin says he knows it's redundant, but otherwise it didn't spell anything.  Susie yells that girls aren't slimy.  Calvin tells her not to get gunk on him.  He took a bath last Saturday, and he's all clean. 8,74; 10,79

05/19/89 Susie can't believe he started a secret club to exclude girls.  She tells Calvin he's the meanest, most rotten little kid she knows.  She tells him to play with his stuffed tiger.  She doesn't want to play with a stinker like him, anyway.  Susie walks away.  Calvin tells Hobbes this is a great club. 8,74; 10,79

05/20/89 Calvin and Hobbes finish their club's sign.  Now they need to find a secret meeting place.  Calvin wants to set up a card table in the garage.  He says it would be perfect for drawing maps and stuff.  The car is parked in the garage, which leaves little room.  Calvin decides to push the car out of the garage.  Hobbes asks if he shouldn't ask his Mom first. Calvin says she won't care if they push it out.  Hobbes reminds him in the past, he's been a remarkably poor judge of what his Mom cares about. 8,74; 10,79

05/21/89 Susie asks if she can play with Calvin.  Calvin informs Susie that he and Hobbes aren't playing.  They're doing important things and don't need her to mess them up.  It doesn't look to Susie like they're doing anything important.  Calvin tells her he's spent too much time talking with her and to go away.  She says he's just playing in the mud. Calvin tells her that's what it looks like to ignorant girls like her.  He tells her to get lost.  Susie says she's got better things to do than sitting in the mud like a pig.  Calvin gets angry!  He says he'll show her as he grabs some mud.  Susie taunts him by saying he shouldn't bend over, his curly pink tail shows.  Calvin throws mud at Susie, but misses.  She taunts him as she runs away.  Calvin steams back to Hobbes.  Hobbes calls spring that magical time of year when a young man's fancy turns to love. Calvin tells him to shut up. 5,116; 8,86; 10,93

05/22/89 Calvin asks Hobbes to help him push the car out of the garage.  Hobbes still thinks Calvin should ask Mom.  Calvin says she'd probably say no, then they wouldn't have the garage for their clubhouse. Hobbes replies if they don't ask her, they'll get in trouble.  Calvin says they won't get in trouble.  Hobbes says every time he says that, they do. Calvin figures Mom wouldn't care about these things if she didn't keep finding out about them. 8,75; 10,80

05/23/89 Calvin tells Hobbes to quit being such a baby.  They'll move the car ten feet.  What could go wrong?  Hobbes says every time he says that, his tail gets bushy.  Calvin says Mom will be glad they did it themselves and didn't bother her.  They start pushing the car, and it keeps rolling.  Calvin says the car isn't stopping.  He chases after it.  Hobbes says he thinks Mom is going to be bothered. 8,75; 10,80

05/24/89 Calvin and Hobbes are running after the car.  Hobbes says the driveway must be slanted downhill.  The car is going faster.  Hobbes tells Calvin to jump in and pull the emergency brake.  Calvin can't catch the door.  Hobbes grabs Calvin as the car goes into the road.  Calvin yells for people to watch out for the wild car. 8,75; 10,80

05/25/89 Mom is sitting reading the paper.  She says she hasn't seen Calvin for 15 minutes.  She's sitting with her back to the window.  The car rolls past the window.  Then, Calvin and Hobbes run past the window.  Mom says that probably means he's getting into trouble. 8,76; 10,81

05/26/89 Calvin and Hobbes stand shocked.  The car rolls out into the road.  They cover their eyes and can't watch.  GRUNTCH!  Hobbes says nobody hit it.  It went into the ravine across the street.  Calvin says "Hooray, we're dead". 8,76; 10,81

05/27/89 Calvin and Hobbes run across the street to see the car. It's sitting nose up in a ditch with half the car poking up.  Hobbes asks what Calvin thinks a car like that costs.  He bets at least $75.  Calvin can only say "Oh man". 8,76; 10,81

05/28/89 Calvin and Hobbes are racing down the hill in their wagon. Calvin thinks life should be more like TV.  All of like's problems should be resolved in 30 minutes with simple homilies.  Weight and oral hygiene should be their biggest concerns.  We should all have high-paying jobs and drive fancy sports cars.  Women should always wear tight clothes, and men should always carry handguns.  Life should be more glamorous and thrill-packed.  He says this as they fly out of the wagon, which has gone off the edge of the hill.  Hobbes says his life is too featherbrained already.  Calvin wonders what they would watch on TV if like really was like that. 5,117; 8,89; 10,94

05/29/89 Calvin and Hobbes are standing by the car, which is sticking up from the shallow ravine.  Calvin says his life is flashing before his eyes.  Hobbes doubts Calvin's parents figured he'd wreck their car before he was 16. 8,77; 10,82

05/30/89 Calvin wonders what they'll do.  They can't get the car out of the ravine.  Calvin wonders if they should act like the car rolled by itself.  He thinks Mom and Dad might fall for that.  Calvin thinks they may not notice, if they don't say anything.  Hobbes says he can be packed in five minutes.  Calvin says he'll try to get the maps out of the glove compartment. 8,77; 10,82

05/31/89 Calvin opens the door, says he and Hobbes are home, and asks if he's got any clean clothes.  He's just asking.  He goes into the kitchen.  He says he's going to make a few dozen sandwiches, because he's really hungry.  He yells that there's no need for Mom to get up or look out the window.  Mom comes in and asks what's wrong with him.  He's startled, laughs, and asks why she is asking. 8,77; 10,82

06/01/89 Calvin has a couple sandwiches that he's made, but he thinks Mom got suspicious.  He tells Hobbes they'd better go.  Hobbes is trying to decide whether to bring a yo-yo or bubbles.  Calvin hurries him up saying they'll be lucky to get out of there with their lives.  Calvin says Mom is bound to look out the window any minute and see the car.  As they dash out the back door, Calvin asks where's a freight train when you really need one. 8,78; 10,83

06/02/89 Calvin and Hobbes run through the field.  They're puffing. They stop to rest.  Calvin thinks they have enough of a head start and can rest a minute.  Hobbes asks if Calvin thinks Mom has seen the car yet. Calvin thinks she's probably called Dad at work, and he'll be on his way home.  They start running again. 8,78; 10,83

06/03/89 Calvin stops, as he figures he must be in another state by now.  It had never occurred to him he'd be spending the rest of his life on the lam.  Hobbes asks what kind of sandwiches Calvin brought.  Calvin wonders how Hobbes could be thinking of eating.  Calvin is so worried, he feels sick.  Hobbes asks if he can have Calvin's sandwich, too.  Calvin lies back on the grass and says he's six years old and a fugitive from justice. 8,78; 10,83

06/04/89 The laws of perspective have been repealed.  Objects no longer diminish in size with distance.  Lines do not converge toward any point on the horizon.  It's impossible to judge where anything is.  Calvin trips over the end table and knocks it and the lamp to the floor.  Mom yells that he should quit running around crashing into things.  If he doesn't, Mom will sell him to the monkey house.  Calvin gets up rubbing his head, saying now she's lost perspective. 5,118; 8,91; 10,96; 14,119; 17,42-43

06/05/89 Mom is looking out the window and wonders why all the cars are slowing as they go by.  She opens the door and sees a car in the ditch, but no one is there.  Mom wonders how the car went in backward.  She thinks about it and realizes the car would have had to come right out of their driveway.  She starts running over to the car. 8,79; 10,84

06/06/89 Calvin says Mom's sure to have found the car and guessed what they did by now.  As Calvin and Hobbes walk across a downed tree, Calvin says now he knows what they mean when they say you can't go home again. 8,79; 10,84

06/07/89 Hobbes hears something crashing through the brush.  Calvin thinks it's a bear.  They run to a tree and climb up.  Hobbes thinks tigers are the only ferocious animals the world needs.  Calvin imagines the headlines "Boy, 6, killed by bear!  Parents saved the trouble". 8,79; 10,84

06/08/89 Calvin asks if they should climb higher in the tree.  Calvin spots the bear coming out of the brush.  He says it's on its hind legs, and they only do that when they're mad.  Hobbes says that's not a bear, it's Mom.  Calvin panics and says that's worse.  He tells Hobbes to climb higher. 8,80; 10,85

06/09/89 Mom sees Calvin in the tree and tells him to come down. Calvin doesn't want to because he thinks she'll kill him.  Mom says she won't, but wants to know what happened.  She asks if anyone was hurt. Calvin says no one was hurt.  He says they pushed the car into the drive and it kept rolling.  Mom asks if the car hit anything.  Calvin says it just went into the ditch.  That's when they took off.  Mom says the tow truck pulled the car out, and there was no damage.  He can come home now. Calvin wants to hear her say she loves him first. 8,80; 10,85

06/10/89 Lying in bed at night, Calvin tells Hobbes that Mom and Dad saw what happened was an accident.  Since they were relieved no one was hurt, all he got was a lecture on safety and asking permission.  Calvin says parents are inscrutable.  You send their car over a ditch, and you don't even get yelled at.  Hobbes says "but try keeping live worms in your Dad's...".  Calvin stops him and says not to talk about that. 8,80; 10,85

06/11/89 Hobbes hears something.  He springs off, running fast. Calvin is walking along, unsuspectingly.  Hobbes crashes into him.  Hobbes says you can take the tiger out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the tiger.  Calvin, lying under Hobbes' feet, says the question is how you get the tiger back into the jungle. 5,119; 8,93; 10,98

06/12/89 Calvin has the latest poll results.  An overwhelming majority are amazed at how little he's accomplished.  The impression is that he's avoiding all the hard decisions that need to be made.  No one polled could name a single instance of paternal leadership.  Dad asks if he can lead Calvin to bed.  Calvin replies he has some innovative ideas for his allowance. 8,83; 10,87

06/13/89 Calvin is looking at ants on the sidewalk.  He tells Hobbes the ants run like mad, work all day, never stopping or resting.  All that to make a hill of sand that could blow away at any time.  All their work would be for nothing, yet they keep building.  They never give up.  Hobbes suggests there's a lesson in that.  Calvin agrees.  He thinks the ants are morons.  He heads into the house to see what's on TV. 8,83; 10,87

06/14/89 Mom gets dressed, puts on earrings, applies her lipstick, and heads out the door.  Calvin sprays her with a water hose.  Calvin is walking away, rubbing his rear end.  He says Mom is a grouch. 8,83; 10,87

06/15/89 Hobbes is lying against a tree.  Calvin asks what he's doing.  Hobbes replies "nothing".  Calvin asks if he's doing nothing at all.  Hobbes says no.  Calvin says he'll help and lies down next to Hobbes. 8,85; 10,89

06/16/89 Calvin has dug a message into his yard.  It asks aliens to come as they are.  They're welcome.  Hobbes asks what Calvin will do when his parents see this.  Calvin hopes to be halfway to the next galaxy by then. 8,85; 10,89

06/17/89 Calvin has turned into one of his childhood drawings.  His anatomical references being obscure, Calvin finds it hard to move.  Are these lower appendages feet or wheels?  His Mom thinks he's some kind of helicopter.  If only he'd learned to draw better.  Calvin holds up a picture he drew and says no one understands his work.  Mom says that's what all artists say. 8,85; 10,89

06/18/89 A sparrow lands on the tree branch.  This is a song sparrow. He prepares to burst forth in rapturous melody.  On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese...  Calvin gets tossed out the door of the house. 5,120; 8,95; 10,100

06/19/89 Mom asks where Calvin is going.  He says "out".  Mom asks if he picked up his room like she asked him to.  He says "no".  Mom asks for clarification.  She says so when Calvin says "out", he really means he's going back upstairs to clean his room.  Calvin stands in his messy room and complains that English must not be her first language. 8,87; 10,91

06/20/89 Mom asks Calvin why he's back downstairs.  She asks if she didn't just send him to clean his room.  Calvin replies "Twisted fiend!  No four walls can hold Stupendous Man!  You've been foiled again, evil Mom-lady".  Mom bends down and gives Calvin a nasty look.  She says "Oh, yeah".  Calvin stumbles up the stairs with eyes spinning.  He says her mind-scrambling eyeball ray has him going back upstairs to do her nefarious bidding. 8,87; 10,91

06/21/89 Calvin is complaining to Hobbes about being told to clean up his room.  He says it's his room.  If he doesn't care, why should anyone else.  He calls it tyranny.  He says it will take all day to clean it.  A whole day wasted, shot, down the drain.  Hobbes asks how this could possibly take all day.  Calvin says it will be another hour before he's through griping. 8,87; 10,91

06/22/89 Calvin thinks the room cleaning will go faster if both he and Hobbes work.  Calvin offers to sit and do all the tedious, agonizing planning and organizing.  He'll make all the hard decisions, and Hobbes won't have to.  All Hobbes has to do is pick up what Calvin tells him to. Hobbes picks up Calvin.  Calvin tells him he didn't say to pick him.  He tells Hobbes to get away from that trash can. 8,88; 10,92

06/23/89 Calvin yells that he cleaned his room.  He wants to go outside.  Mom says it didn't take very long.  She wants a look to see what kind of job he did.  Calvin says he did a great job.  Mom says the room looks clean.  She then asks if he straightened up the closet like she asked.  Calvin yells for her not to open the door.  Too late.  Mom is buried by all the stuff Calvin threw in there.  Mom tells him to go back to work.  Calvin complains that she made this mess, so she should clean it up. 8,88; 10,92

06/24/89 Hobbes rolls a croquet ball, Calvin hits it with the mallet. Calvin runs around the wickets.  Calvin says best games are the ones they don't understand.  Hobbes chases him with the ball in his hand, saying Calvin missed a wicket so he doesn't get a goal. 8,88; 10,92

06/25/89 Calvin runs around the house, slides down the ditch, runs over the stream, climbs through the fence, runs around the trees, and dives toward a rock.  Hobbes tags him out.  Calvin complains the bases are too far apart.  Hobbes calls him a big sissy. 5,121; 8,97; 10,102

06/26/89 Calvin runs up to Hobbes saying there was a bee.  It was the size of a Kaiser roll and must have weighed 70 pounds.  He says it sounded like a helicopter, and it's stinger was like a harpoon.  He says it must have been a killer death bee.  Hobbes offers that life in the great suburban outback is certainly fraught with peril.  Calvin tells Hobbes that if he'd seen it, he would be scared, too. 8,90; 10,95

06/27/89 Calvin has a yo-yo.  It goes down, and it stops.  He shakes it, trying to get it to move.  It doesn't.  Calvin says he can't imaging mastering the skills involved without a clearer understanding of who will be impressed. 8,90; 10,95

06/28/89 Calvin looks at the moon, which is sticking its tongue out at him.  Then the moon makes a funny face at him.  Calvin tells Dad he saw the man in the moon tonight.  Calvin says he didn't know the moon made faces.  Dad says that's "phases". 8,90; 10,95

06/29/89 The giant pteradon hops to the edge of the cliff.  He spreads his bat-like wings and takes to the air.  Soaring high, the pteradon is a majestic sight.  Hobbes yells to "think majestic".  Calvin, holding onto a collapsing umbrella over the cliff, yells back that they should have picked a smaller cliff. 8,92; 10,97

06/30/89 Calvin complains that it's too hot.  Hobbes says he could go wading in the creek.  Calvin tries that and says the water is too cold. Hobbes says he could go sit in the shade.  Calvin tries that and complains that the shade is too dark.  Hobbes, frustrated, tells him he could go sit in his room with the windows shut and the fan and lights on.  Calvin grumbles that's what he was doing when Mom threw him outside. 8,92; 10,97

07/01/89 Mom is reading on the sofa.  Calvin comes in and tells her to give him some cookies or he'll soak her with a water balloon.  Mom calls him a little thug and warns him not to threaten his mother.  She tells him not to even think about throwing that in the house.  She tosses him outside.  Dejectedly, Calvin says to Hobbes that he bets he would have gotten some cookies if he had filled the balloon with paint. 8,92; 10,97

07/02/89 The sky is orange, Calvin's skin is green.  Yellow flowers are now blue.  Every color is the opposite of what it should be.  Calvin has been turned into a color film negative.  His only hope is to be processed by a 1-hour photo finisher.  He grabs his throat and acts like he's choking.  Dad is trying to get a picture of him.  Dad complains that Calvin just ruined another photo.  He asks if Calvin can't look pleasant for 1/500th of a second. 5,122; 8,99; 10,104

07/03/89 Calvin runs along yelling it's July already.  He wonders what happened to June.  Summer vacation is slipping through his fingers like grains of sand.  He wants to hoard his freedom.  Calvin's eyes bulge with worry that time rushes on.  Hobbes says he doesn't want to be there at the end of August.  Calvin keeps running around yelling it's a half-hour later than it was a half hour ago.  Run! 8,94; 10,99

07/04/89 At the dinner table, Calvin tells Dad that Mom took him to the library.  He didn't know it was such fun.  Dad tells him that he'll learn things, too.  Calvin explains that he learned one type wasp lays its egg in a spider so that when the egg hatches, the larva eats the spider, saving the vital organs for last, so the spider stays alive while its being devoured.  Mom and Dad get odd look on their faces.  Dad wonders if there isn't a street corner he could hang out on instead. 8,94; 10,99

07/05/89 Calvin tells Hobbes he knows he's destined for greatness. Calvin the Great, they'll call him.  He tells Hobbes that he'll get to tell everyone he knew Calvin as a kid.  He figures all the papers will want to interview Hobbes to find out what Calvin is really like.  Hobbes says Calvin will really have to cough up to keep him quiet.  Calvin asks what that's supposed to mean. 8,94; 10,99

07/06/89 Calvin asks Dad how a light bulb works.  Dad says magic. Calvin reminds Dad that's how he told Calvin a vacuum cleaner works.  Dad says both are magic.  Calvin is skeptical.  He says he thinks Dad just doesn't know how they work.  Dad tells him not to believe him, who's been around a lot longer than Calvin.  Calvin turns on the light for Mom and tells her it's magic.  She tells Calvin that's not magic. 8,96; 10,101

07/07/89 Calvin and Hobbes are outside at night.  There is a star in the sky.  Calvin tells Hobbes that when you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.  Calvin says he wishes he had a cool million dollars right now. Calvin looks around.  Unhappily, he walks off saying that if Jiminy Cricket was there, he'd skoosh him. 8,96; 10,101

07/08/89 Calvin tosses a ball into the air.  He hits it, drops the bat, picks up a glove, and races to catch the ball.  He does.  Calvin realizes that means he's out. 8,96; 10,101

07/09/89 A woman comes home and tells her husband that she stopped at the hospital on the way home.  She brought home their new baby.  The husband doesn't want a baby.  The woman cuddles the baby, which is actually a rabbit.  The husband wonders why their baby is a rabbit.  The woman says it's not a rabbit, it's a baby boy.  The husband says it looks like a rabbit to him.  The woman wants to pretend it's a baby.  The husband says he won't.  Calvin walks away, saying playing "house" makes him sick.  Susie doesn't understand why he'll pretend with his tiger, but not with Mr. Bun. 5,123; 8,101; 10,106; 17,44-45

07/10/89 Calvin is sitting on the washing machine.  He opens the lid and asks Hobbes how it's going.  Hobbes tells him it's fine.  He tells him to close the lid, since everything stops when you lift it.  Calvin laments that his bathtub doesn't have an agitator. 8,98; 10,103

07/11/89 Mom asks Calvin to gather the trash.  Calvin asks if he's her personal slave.  He asks why she can't do it.  Mom replies that he can start washing his own clothes, fix his own meals, pick up his own toys, make his own bed, and clean his own messes, day after day after day. Carrying the laundry basket, Calvin says some women just weren't meant to be mothers. 8,98; 10,103

07/12/89 Calvin tells Hobbes that when he cooks eggs, he likes to see how high he can crack it above the skillet.  He aims with one eye, so he has no depth perception.  That makes it harder.  Calvin says the secret to having fun in life is making little challenges for yourself.  Hobbes wonders if he means the challenge of explaining the stove and floor to Mom. Calvin asks Hobbes to see if there's another carton in the fridge. 8,98; 10,103

07/13/89 Hobbes asks Calvin what he's writing.  He's writing to companies warning them he'll boycott their products if they don't pull their ads from a TV show he finds offensive.  He says if these companies are going to support objectionable TV shows, he'll take his business elsewhere.  He tells Hobbes maybe he can scare away the advertising dollars and get the show cancelled.  Hobbes asks why he doesn't just not watch the show.  Calvin says this clean, wholesome television makes him sick. 8,100; 10,105

07/14/89 Calvin tells Hobbes he never liked ice cream cones very much until he discovered a new way to eat them.  He bites off the bottom and sucks out the ice cream as it melts.  He says you wouldn't believe the awful noises you can make, and it gets sloppy when the cone gets soggy and both ends start dripping.  In Calvin's book, food should be nutrition and entertainment.  Hobbes says that's why tigers like their food surprised and running. 8,100; 10,105

07/15/89 Calvin says he's so smart, it's scary.  He says he is a child progeny.  Hobbes rolls his eyes and says most children are.  Calvin wonders what he means, Hobbes says nothing.  Calvin says people think it's fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.  Hobbes asks if Calvin's pants zipper shouldn't be in front. 8,100; 10,105

07/16/89 Calvin is carrying three water balloons, Hobbes has one. Calvin says he's a walking arsenal of hydro-weaponry.  Calvin says he sees the fear in Hobbes' eyes.  Calvin brags that he can make Hobbes three times wetter than Hobbes can make him.  He chides Hobbes to throw his balloon, and his utter sogginess is assured.  Calvin can act with impunity, he fears nothing.  Hobbes flips his water balloon up into the air and tells Calvin to catch.  Calvin tries juggling his balloons and Hobbes'.  SPLASH! SPLOOSH!  GISSHH!  FWOOSH!  Calvin, soaking wet, says superpowers have it tough.  Hobbes suggests Calvin try stocking up on brains instead. 5,124; 8,106; 10,111

07/17/89 In his bedroom, Calvin tells Hobbes there's no delaying the inevitable.  He tells him to get in the car.  Hobbes asks where they're going.  Calvin tells him the same place they go every summer, camping on some desolate rock at the end of the earth.  Calvin says that's how Dad likes to unwind.  Hobbes asks "With everyone complaining".  Calvin says Dad likes to watch them all suffer. 8,102; 10,107

07/18/89 Driving along the road, Calvin tells Dad there is a town coming up.  He suggests they just pull off, find a nice motel, and stay there for their vacation.  They could swim in the pool, have air conditioning, cable TV, and room service.  No one would have to know they didn't camp.  Calvin won't tell.  He suggests they can go to the store, buy a big fish, take his picture with it, and say they caught it.  He asks Dad if they can.  Mom thinks that's a good idea.  Dad looks at her and tells her not to start. 8,102; 10,107

07/19/89 Dad pulls up the canoe and says they're here.  Calvin says it's good ol' "Itchy Island", home of the nuclear mosquitos.  Dad says bug bites build character.  Calvin reminds him that last year Dad said diarrhea builds character.  Dad wants Calvin to think of what a fine young man he's growing up to be.  Calvin agrees, if building all this character doesn't kill him first.  Dad asks Calvin to open the duffel bag and get out the Spam.  Calvin tells him that if the canoe is gone in the morning, it means Hobbes and he struck out for home. 8,102; 10,107

07/20/89 Dad says it's great to be there.  He thinks he'll jump in for a swim.  He asks Mom to join him.  Mom thinks the lake couldn't have melted before yesterday.  Dad asks Calvin to join him.  Calvin doesn't want to start the week with a little hypothermia.  Dad goes in alone.  Swimming on the lake, he comments on the best thing about vacations being the family togetherness. 8,103; 10,108

07/21/89 Dad is outside Calvin's tent telling him to wake up and watch the fish jumping.  He says it's a beautiful morning.  The sun is barely up, and there is a mist on the water.  There isn't a soul anywhere. He tells Calvin he thought Calvin wanted to go fishing.  He tells him he has to get up early if he wants to catch anything.  The canoe's ready, and the fishing pole is loaded.  Calvin yells for Mom to make Dad go away. Fishing alone on the lake, Dad comments that another thing he likes about vacations is the sharing of special moments. 8,103; 10,108

07/22/89 Dad decides that's enough fishing for now.  He paddles back to camp.  He can't wait for breakfast.  He can almost smell the coffee from the canoe.  He pulls the canoe up and wonders where everyone is.  He yells that there will be some smallmouth bass flopping around in some sleeping bags in a minute or two.  Mom looks out her tent and says she likes it when Dad goes off to work in the mornings.  Dad says it's 6:30 already.  He asks if they're going to waste the whole day. 8,103; 10,108

07/23/89 Calvin plays on the beach.  He complains that he's getting sand in his suit, and he doesn't want to sit on the beach.  In the water, he complains the water is too cold.  On the beach again, he complains that there's too much sun, and he'll get sunburned.  Dad tries to put tanning lotion on Calvin, but he complains the lotion makes him greasy and the shirt makes him too hot.  Under the umbrella, he complains it's boring in the shade.  Walking along the beach with Dad, he complains that he hates walking.  His legs are tired, the sand is hot, the water's cold, there's no shade, and he still has sand in his suit.  Mom and Dad pick up the beach towels and umbrella.  Calvin asks if they're going already. 5,125; 8,108; 10,113

07/24/89 Calvin is sitting on a rock with Hobbes looking at the sun set.  There are birds flying, a few clouds in the sky, rock outcroppings and woods all around.  Calvin says he bets he's missing some great TV shows. 8,104; 10,109

07/25/89 Calvin asks Dad if he's painting a picture.  Dad says yes. Calvin looks at the picture, then looks at the scene Dad is painting. Calvin says Dad is giving his harmonica playing skills a real run for the money. 8,104; 10,109

07/26/89 Late at night, Hobbes sniffs the air in his and Calvin's tent.  He's asleep.  Calvin tells him he's dreaming and to wake up.  Hobbes licks his lips and says some fresh fish would hit the spot.  He says there's a nice big one.  Calvin is frightened!  He holds the flashlight at Mom's tent while she tells him she doesn't care what his clothes smell like.  She's not washing anything now. 8,104; 10,109

07/27/89 Calvin is scratching.  He says the bugs are awful.  Hobbes tells him not to scratch, or he'll make the bites worse.  Calvin asks Hobbes what he's supposed to do.  The itching is driving him crazy.  Hobbes tells him to think of something else.  Calvin asks what.  Hobbes suggests something like stepping out of all that poison ivy.  Calvin yells that he hates this place. 8,105; 10,110

07/28/89 Dad tries to take a picture of Mom and Calvin eating.  Mom says no, because she hasn't washed her hair for three days, and she's covered with bug bites.  Dad asks if she doesn't want something to remember the trip by.  Calvin doesn't want to remember it.  He says he's been trying to forget it ever since they got there.  He asks when they're leaving this dump.  Dad walks away saying the next time he sees one of those smarmy Kodak commercials, he's going to put an ax through the TV. 8,105; 10,110

07/29/89 As they're packing up to leave, Dad comments on how quickly the vacation went.  He thinks after being out there, it will be a shock to go back to civilization.  Calvin walks by with his sleeping bag and says he can't wait to get into the car, and crank up the A/C and some tunes.  He tells Dad to shake a leg.  Dad suggests that some day he'll get his DNA tested to see if Calvin really is his kid. 8,105; 10,110

07/30/89 Sitting on the step of their home, Calvin asks Dad where the sun goes when it sets.  Dad says Flagstaff, Arizona.  He says that's why the rocks there are so red.  Calvin asks if the sun doesn't crush the state when it lands.  Dad says no.  He holds a quarter in front of the sun and tells Calvin the sun is about the same size.  Calvin mentions he thought the sun was really big.  Dad tells him he can't believe everything he reads.  Calvin asks how the sun can rise in the east if it lands in Arizona each night.  Dad says it's time for Calvin to go to bed.  As Mom tucks Calvin in, he tells her that he hopes someday to be as smart as Dad.  Mom asks what Dad told him now. 8,110; 10,115

07/31/89 Dad's going off to work.  Calvin says it's a nice day to sit under a tree and read a good book.  Calvin says it's too bad that's a luxury at Dad's age.  He says maybe Dad can do it when he's 65.  Calvin is sure Dad will be there before he knows it.  He wishes Dad a good day at work.  Calvin walks up to Mom and tells her Dad sure is surly in the mornings. 8,107; 10,112

08/01/89 Calvin tells Hobbes he doesn't remember much before he was three years old.  He says half his life is a blank.  He must have been brainwashed.  He wonders what kind of sicko would brainwash an infant. What did he know that someone wanted him to forget?  He says he's mysterious.  Hobbes says he seems to recall Calvin spent most of the time burping up. 8,107; 10,112

08/02/89 Calvin tells Mom there is a big horsefly on her head.  He tells her not to move.  He runs off, goes upstairs, and returns with his plastic dart pistol.  He asks if the fly is still there. 8,107; 10,112

08/03/89 Calvin and Hobbes are in their tree fort.  Calvin says they're bloodthirsty pirates.  Calvin calls avast, ye scurvy dogs.  He tells Hobbes to hoist the Jolly Roger and ready the plank.  Hobbes hands Calvin a small knit sock.  Calvin asks what that is.  Hobbes tells him "our booty" and starts laughing. 8,109; 10,114

08/04/89 Calvin asks Mom if she knew gravity in outer space works as if space was a soft, flat surface.  He explains that heavy matter, like planets sink into the surface, and anything passing by, like light, will "roll" toward the dip in space made by the planet.  Light is deflected by gravity.  Then he adds that he dropped a pitcher of lemonade on the kitchen floor when his roller skates slipped.  As Mom mops up the mess, she wonders how kids can know so much, yet be so dumb. 8,109; 10,114

08/05/89 Calvin and Hobbes are riding their wagon down the hill. Calvin thinks the world should have been designed so everyone didn't have to eat each other to survive.  There would just be fewer people and animals to begin with.  Calvin adds the world could have used a more even distribution of resources.  Hobbes wonders why no one consulted Calvin. 8,109; 10,114

08/06/89 Hobbes pitches the baseball to Calvin.  It sails over his head, but Hobbes calls him out.  Calvin protests.  They get in each other's face and kick dirt on each other.  They fight until they're exhausted. Calvin decides to try something else.  He gets a step ladder, stands on it with his bat, and gets ready for the pitch. 8,113; 10,118

08/07/89 Calvin tells Dad he performed a scientific experiment today. He wanted to see if it's true that north is up and south is down, like what maps show.  Dad asks what he found out.  Calvin tells him not much.  Dad's compass didn't survive the trip south from the top of the tree.  Calvin walks away telling Dad to let him know when he's replaced it.  His junior scientist book told him not to be discouraged by temporary setbacks. 8,111; 10,116

08/08/89 Calvin tells Hobbes he thinks Dad being boring might be phony.  He thinks that after Dad puts them to bed, he puts on a costume and fights crime.  Maybe this "Dad" stuff is a secret identity.  Calvin wonders if the mayor calls Dad on a secret phone and that Dad's a superhero. Hobbes says if that's true, Dad should drive a cooler car.  Calvin agrees, since their car doesn't even have a cassette deck. 8,111; 10,116

08/09/89 The family drives up to the Natural History Museum.  Calvin sees the stegosaurus in front.  Calvin can't wait to see the dinosaurs and rushes from the car.  Mom says it's been a while since they were at the museum.  Dad mentions that was at the museum's request.  That reminds Mom, who tells Calvin not to bite anyone this time.  Calvin is already roaring like a dinosaur. 8,111; 10,116

08/10/89 Mom asks Calvin what kind of dinosaur they're in front of. Calvin tells her it's a stegosaurus.  Mom says it looks ferocious, but Calvin tells her it was a plant eater.  He tells her the tail spikes were for self-defense.  Mom then asks if tyrannosaurs fought them.  Calvin tells her of course not.  Tyrannosaurs came millions of years later.  Calvin walks to the building telling her not to embarrass him when they go inside. Dad wonders why they're going in if he knows everything already. 8,112; 10,117

08/11/89 Calvin shows Hobbes a saber-toothed tiger.  Calvin makes fun of it by saying anyone needing a can of juice opened would just put him over it and hit his head.  Calvin continues by saying they probably died out because they couldn't understand each other.  He makes a face and shows his teeth.  Hobbes grabs Calvin by the shirt and frowns at him.  Calvin quickly points out that all in all, they were the pinnacle of prehistoric evolution. 8,112; 10,117

08/12/89 Calvin points out the museum gift shop to Mom.  He wants to buy something, a poster, a book, t-shirts, models.  Mom says she doesn't think he needs any more dinosaur stuff.  Calvin says it's all educational. Doesn't she want him to learn?  Calvin, walks with his dinosaur hat, poster, and book.  Hobbes says she sure fell for that one.  Calvin wonders if he can get any Batman junk that way. 8,112; 10,117

08/13/89 Hobbes stretches, yawns, arches his back, scratches his ear, curls around, and plops on the floor.  He falls asleep.  Calvin, reading a book on the sofa near Hobbes starts yawning and says he shouldn't have watched. 8,115; 10,120

08/14/89 Hobbes comes over to join Calvin in the kiddie pool.  Calvin tells him there isn't enough room.  He tells Hobbes if he wants to cool off, he'll have to jump in the sprinkler.  Hobbes marches off and says he'll do that.  Calvin watches him.  Calvin darts out of the pool, running toward Hobbes.  He yells that he didn't mean for Hobbes to have fun. 8,114; 10,119

08/15/89 Calvin and Hobbes are soundly sleeping.  Suddenly, there is a big CRACK!  Light fills the room.  Then there is a big BOOM!  Calvin and Hobbes fly up into the air.  They get under the bed.  Calvin asks if it's a thunderstorm or a space alien ray gun invasion.  Hobbes doesn't care and just wants to know when it's over. 8,114; 10,119

08/16/89 Calvin is digging a hole.  Hobbes asks how it's going. Calvin tells him the dirt is pretty hard.  Hobbes thinks he's made a good start.  Calvin says he's been digging all morning.  It's going to take forever.  Hobbes suggests Calvin will have to settle for a smaller swimming pool.  Calvin agrees, saying you'd be killed diving off the high dive into that pool.  He laments the fact saying Mom would have been surprised to have an Olympic pool where her garden used to be.  Hobbes tells him that maybe she'll be surprised anyway. 8,114; 10,119

08/17/89 Calvin tells Hobbes about "Calvin's Curative Elixir".  He figures he'll charge people a buck a glass and get rich.  Hobbes tells him it's just dirty water from the drainage ditch.  There are leaves in it. Calvin thinks they'll say "Fortified with Chlorophyll".  Hobbes tells him no one will pay to drink that water.   Anyone can see it's filthy.  He calls it sludge.  Calvin says maybe he's right.  Calvin sits at a stand with the dirty water in a pitcher on the stand.  The sign on the stand reads "Pitcher of Plague.  Calvin's Debilitating Drink!  $1.00 not to have any". 8,116; 10,121

08/18/89 Calvin has decided not to go to school in the fall.  He figures he doesn't need an education or learn to develop skills.  He says it's too much trouble.  Hobbes asks how he'll make it in the world without knowledge or skills.  Calvin replies that he'll go on talk shows and hype himself. 8,116; 10,121

08/19/89 Mom is on her knees, newspaper on the floor, getting ready to paint the wall.  She complains that there are times she hates owning a house because of the maintenance.  Painting walls, fixing roofs, spraying trees, it seems like the place is falling apart.  She sees Calvin drilling holes in the other wall, and she gives chase.  She adds that what isn't falling apart is being actively destroyed. 8,116; 10,121

08/20/89 The allosaurus stalks his prey.  A herd of brontosaurs is unaware of his presence.  The allosaurus lunges at a straggler.  The brontosaurus rises to its full height.  What induces an allosaurus to attack a monster more than twice his own size?  Calvin jumps on Dad's back and yells that he's hungry.  Dad is standing at the grill.  He says he's cooking the hamburgers and tells Calvin to get off him. 8,117; 10,122

08/21/89 Calvin the hummingbird, zips by with a whir.  Though small, he puts out tremendous energy.  Concentrated sugar water fuels his incredible metabolism.  He drinks half his weight each day.  Calvin says "Preferably loaded with caffeine" as he gets a soda from the refrigerator. 8,118; 10,123

08/22/89 Dad starts reading a bedtime story to Calvin, who stops him. Calvin asks if the book was a best-seller, if the author won a Pulitzer, and if the New York Times liked it.  Calvin wants stories that come highly recommended.  He asks if there are laudatory comments on the book's dust jacket.  Dad starts again.  "Once upon a time, there was a noisy kid who started going to bed without a story".  Calvin asks if that book has been made into a movie and whether they could be watching it on video. 8,118; 10,123

08/23/89 Calvin is practicing his sneers.  He shows Hobbes and tells him there's nothing like a good sneer to dry up conversation.  He asks Hobbes how he looks.  Hobbes replies awful.  Calvin thanks him and hopes, with the sneer, to be an unbearable burden at any social occasion.  Hobbes thinks that will give him a head start on being a teenager.  Calvin thinks it's like getting seven extra years. 8,118; 10,123

08/24/89 Calvin hits the ball and leisurely walks the bases.  He walks with his hands in his pocket and strolls along.  He's on home plate before Hobbes can tag him.  He tells Hobbes he's too late.  He's gotten another home run.  Hobbes, panting, says he's going to quit if they don't stop using a tennis ball. 8,120; 10,125

08/25/89 Calvin is walking along under a tree.  Suddenly, Hobbes pounces from the tree onto Calvin.  They fight.  Hobbes pins him down and tells him he should be more alert.  He tells Calvin he wouldn't last two seconds in the jungle.  Calvin replies that's why he lives here and calls Hobbes a dolt. 8,120; 10,125

08/26/89 Mom sees Calvin hiding behind a bush and asks what he's doing.  He tells her to go away.  He's going to throw some crab apples at Susie.  Mom tells him no and makes him get rid of the crab apples.  She says crab apples are hard and could hurt someone.  Susie walks by and sees Calvin behind a bush and asks what he's doing.  Calvin tells her to go away.  He's going to throw a squishy old tomato at Mom. 8,120; 10,125

08/27/89 Hobbes hides behind a tree and hits Calvin in the head with a water balloon.  Calvin threatens to get even, while Hobbes tells Calvin he's all wet.  Calvin grabs the hose and runs after Hobbes to give him a soaking.  Calvin catches Hobbes filling another water balloon.  He tells Hobbes he's too late and hopes Hobbes is thirsty.  Calvin squeezes the handle, but nothing happens.  He asks why it won't squirt.  Hobbes tells him he had to take the other end of the hose off the faucet so he could fill his balloon.  He pulls his arm back, and Calvin knows what's coming. Lying soaked on the ground, Calvin says he's kind of looking forward to school next week. 8,119; 10,124

08/28/89 Calvin tells Hobbes Mom asked him to make his bed.  Calvin asks Hobbes to help him.  Calvin tells him to get some pencils while he gets paper.   Hobbes thought they were going to make his bed.  Calvin doesn't want to do all that work.  They're going to invent a robot to make the bed for them.  Hobbes wonders if that won't be more work than making the bed.  Calvin replies it's only work if somebody makes you do it. 8,121; 10,126

08/29/89 Hobbes wonders how they'll invent a robot if they don't know anything about machines.  Calvin says it's easy.  There are four simple machines to alter force:  the lever, the pulley, the inclined plane, and the internal combustion engine.  He tells Hobbes he's an expert.  Hobbes asks where they should start.  Calvin says by asking Mom for a research grant. 8,121; 10,126

08/30/89 Calvin asks Mom if he can look at her wallet.  She asks if he cleaned his room.  Calvin says he's inventing a robot to make the bed, but he needs a grant.  He asks for $50.  As Calvin enters the bedroom, Hobbes asks if she gave him the money.  Calvin says that when they're the cover story for Popular Mechanics, he'll have some choice words to say about family encouragement. 8,121; 10,126

08/31/89 Calvin decides the first thing the robot needs is a head. Hobbes suggests a coffee can.  Calvin says the head has to be big enough for a tape recorder.  He's made recordings for the robot's voice.  Calvin says that in addition to communicating, they can program the robot to have the proper personality.  Hobbes wonders what he means.  Calvin says robots should be respectful.  He turns on the tape recorder which says "How may I ease your life, oh grand exalted master". 8,122; 10,127

09/01/89 Calvin tells Dad he's inventing a robot and asks if Dad can get him a patent.  Calvin shows their robot.  It's Tinkertoys with a coffee can head.  He says he's been working on it all afternoon.  He says it's not perfected yet.  Dad asks what it does.  Calvin admits they haven't figured out a way to make it do what he wants.  Dad says not to be discouraged.  He and Mom got the same results after working on Calvin for six years. 8,122; 10,127

09/02/89 Calvin suggests to Hobbes they give up.  They can't figure out how to make a robot.  Mom comes over and tells Calvin it's past bedtime.  He has to leave his toys for tomorrow.  Going up the stairs, Calvin laments they spent all day on it.  He thought their robot would save him from making the bed.  As they walk into the bedroom, Hobbes tells Calvin that in a way, it did.  The bed is still unmade from the morning. 8,122; 10,127

09/03/89 Spaceman Spiff is going down over planet Gork. The planet is inhabited. Spiff's stabilizers refuse to respond. Our hero's going to crash. This spells disaster! Calvin is startled by the teacher calling his name. He spells disaster. The teacher congratulates him for paying attention. Once again, Spaceman Spiff beats all odds to save the day. The teacher tells him he can sit down. He's standing on his chair, fists clenched together. 8,125; 10,130

09/04/89 Hobbes says Mom sure was cheerful this morning.  Calvin, frowning, says nothing.  Hobbes says he's never seen her humming and sashaying around the kitchen like that.  Calvin, frowning, says nothing. Calvin asks how long they've been waiting for the bus.  Hobbes tells him about two and a half hours.  Calvin thinks Mom put him outside early on purpose. 8,123; 10,128

09/05/89 Susie asks Calvin if he's excited about going to school. Susie shows the new notebooks and school supplies she has.  Calvin rants that they won't make him learn a foreign language.  He says if English is good enough for him, it's good enough for the rest of the world.  Calvin folds his arms across his chest and says everyone should speak English or just shut up.  Susie suggests he check the chemical content of his breakfast cereal.  Calvin says they can make him go through grade eight, then he's outta here. 8,123; 10,128

09/06/89 Miss Wormwood asks if Calvin will lead the class in the Pledge of Allegiance.  Calvin asks what the Supreme Court decided about that.  He asks if it's a prayer.  He asks if she has to read him his rights.  He complains that he's only there because his parents make him go. He doesn't want to be a test case.  He says he doesn't even know what court district he's in.  The principal opens the door for Calvin, who can't believe it's not even 8:15 yet. 8,123; 10,128

09/07/89 Spaceman Spiff is being pursued by scum beings.  Spiff's only chance is to release a giant smoke cloud behind his spacecraft.  Miss Wormwood is standing next to Calvin, who's clapping the erasers together into a billowing cloud.  The principal opens the door for Calvin, who can't believe it's not even 8:30 yet. 8,124; 10,129

09/08/89 Calvin gets off the school bus saying "What a day".  As he opens the door, Hobbes crashes into him.  Hobbes says that things are so darn quiet when he's not around.  Calvin cocks his fist and says there's going to be some ruckus now. 8,124; 10,129

09/09/89 Calvin wakes up excited.  It's Saturday!  He and Hobbes run for the stairs.  No homework, no school.  Just cartoons and fun all day long.  They bump down the stairs saying to turn on the TV, get out the cereal.  Mom asks Dad why he's getting up since it's barely light out. Dad, putting on his pants, says he's going to the office to get some sleep. 8,124; 10,129

09/10/89 Hobbes is running with the football. Calvin tries to make the tackle. Calvin doesn't slow Hobbes down. Calvin gets run over and holds Hobbes' tail. Finally, Calvin falls off. Calvin waves Hobbes away. They are playing chess, and Calvin says he's decided to be an intellectual. 8,127; 10,132; 17,46-47

09/11/89 Moe wants the truck Calvin is playing with.  Calvin tells Moe he can't just take something because he's bigger than others.  Moe cocks his fist and tells Calvin he's not taking it.  He says Calvin is going to give it to him.  They'll both be much happier that way.  After Moe leaves, Calvin says "How touching". 9,6; 10,134

09/12/89 Calvin goes back to get his toy truck.  He tells Moe it's not his.  Moe says that it is because Calvin gave it to him.  Calvin replies that he didn't have much of a choice.  It was either give up the truck or get punched.  He explains he only gave it to Moe because Moe is bigger and meaner than he.  Moe says "So".  Calvin declares that the forensic marvel has reduced his logic to shambles.  Moe cocks his fist and wonders if Calvin is changing his mind about getting punched. 9,6; 10,134

09/13/89 Calvin complains that Moe won't return his truck.  He wonders if he should steal it back, since stealing is wrong.  If he doesn't steal it back, Moe will keep it and that's not fair, either.  Calvin wonders what you're supposed to do if two wrongs don't make a right.  Do you let the biggest guy make his own rules all the time?  Calvin sits down and says that sounds reasonable. 9,6; 10,134

09/14/89 Calvin decides to steal his truck back.  He sneaks up to the swings and plans to run up, grab the truck, and take off.  He awaits his chance.  He thinks his playground should have one of those automatic insurance machines like they have in airports. 9,7; 10,135

09/15/89 Moe has his back turned.  Calvin is ready to make his move. Calvin says by the time Moe realizes the truck is gone, Calvin will be a mile away.  He says nothing can go wrong.  He says there's no reason to hesitate.  He'll sure be glad to have his truck back.  He'll just do it and be done.  It's easy.  He still stands there.  He says obviously, his body doesn't believe a word his brain is saying. 9,7; 10,135

09/16/89 Calvin wonders who he's kidding.  He'll never get away with stealing his truck back.  He says Moe is an ugly galoot the size of a Buick.  Since he can't fight Moe, he thinks he could talk to him.  Maybe Moe would see his side if he reasoned with him.  Maybe Moe will realize stealing hurts people, and he'll return the truck willingly.  Calvin says maybe if he's really lucky, he won't have to go through life with the nickname "omelet face". 9,7; 10,135

09/17/89 Calvin starts to eat his dinner. He holds the food in his mouth. He takes a drink. His cheeks puff out. His eyes get wide. He looks back and forth. He ducks under the table. He looks relieved, and his mouth is empty. Mom tells Dad she wants him to look at that discolored spot on the rug. She says it seems to be getting bigger all the time. Calvin asks if he can leave the table right now. 9,5; 10,133

09/18/89 Calvin  walks up to Moe and demands his truck back. Calvin says it's his favorite truck, and Moe had no right to take it. Calvin tells him to give it back now.  Moe offers to fight Calvin for it. Calvin bets his autopsy reveals that his mouth is too big. 9,8; 10,136

09/19/89 Calvin won't fight Moe.  He tells Moe that if he won't give the truck back, he can have it.  He tells Moe he'll have to live with himself.  Calvin can't make him do what's right.  Calvin sits on the swing. Another kid comes up behind Calvin and tells him that if he's not going to swing, get off and let someone else on. 9,8; 10,136

09/20/89 Calvin explains what happened to Hobbes.  He says Moe stole his truck, and when he went to get it back, Moe wanted to fight.  Calvin didn't want to fight, so he walked away.  He asks Hobbes what makes some people so greedy and mean.  He asks why some people don't care what's wrong or what's right.  Hobbes offers that the problem with people is that they're only human.  Calvin says Hobbes is lucky that he doesn't have to be one. 9,8; 10,136

09/21/89 Sitting under a tree, Calvin says sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.  Hobbes tells him that's why animals are so soft and huggy.  Calvin hugs him and says "yeah". 9,9; 10,137

09/22/89 Mom wakes up to Calvin yelling for her.  When she checks on him, he tells her that Hobbes had a bad dream.  Mom is angry that Calvin woke her up at 2:00 AM because he thinks his stuffed tiger had a bad dream. Calvin explains that Hobbes dreamed he was hungry and ate them all up.  Mom walks back to her room, saying she must be having a bad dream.  Calvin asks if she shouldn't make Hobbes a sandwich, just in case. 9,9; 10,137

09/23/89 Calvin tells Dad that at the fresh fish counter at the supermarket, you can buy real squid.  He says they're pretty gross.  Dad says he bets.  Calvin walks away.  Dad turns around in his chair and wonders what Calvin is doing. 9,9; 10,137

09/24/89 A meeting of G.R.O.S.S. comes to order. Hobbes reads the minutes of their last meeting. Hobbes mentions much nonsense and commotion from dictator-for-life Calvin. Hobbes keeps reading that president-and-first-tiger Hobbes offered a reasonable solution, which elicits a response from Calvin that Hobbes had told him to jump in the lake. Hobbes reads that the dictator received his comeuppance. Calvin says the minutes are lies. They fight, calling each other chowderhead, moron, ogre, and fleabag. They call a truce as they are exhausted. They climb down declaring another productive meeting. What a great club! 9,10; 10,138

09/25/89 Mom is looking for her shoes.  Dad's putting his tie on, but he hasn't seen them.  Mom says they were right there.  She's in her dress. Dad says they'll be late.  Mom says she can't go anywhere without her shoes and asks Dad to help her look.  Calvin is hiding the shoes in the closet. He says they're not leaving he and Hobbes with a baby sitter tonight. 9,11; 10,139

09/26/89 The doorbell rings.  It's Rosalyn!  Calvin goes to the door. He tells Rosalyn that his parents have changed their minds about going out and won't be needing her services.  Dad comes out and asks Calvin what he's talking about.  Calvin says they can't go out if Mom can't find her shoes. Dad wonders what Calvin knows about that.  Calvin looks guilty, says he doesn't know anything and asks if Mom's shoes are missing.  Rosalyn asks to be paid in advance. 9,11; 10,139

09/27/89 Calvin is upset Mom and Dad left them with the baby sitter. Hobbes asks if Calvin thinks she remembers how they threatened to flush Rosalyn's notes down the toilet.  Calvin laughs, calling it their finest moment.  Rosalyn opens the door and tells Calvin to get ready for bed. Calvin protests that it's not even 6:30 yet.  In bed, Hobbes says she remembers.  Calvin says he's going to call the rescue squad. 9,11; 10,139

09/28/89 Calvin comes down the stairs.  Rosalyn asks why he's out of bed.  Calvin tells her he heard a thump outside.  He wants her to check to make sure it's nothing scary.  Rosalyn didn't hear a thump, but she offers to check.  Calvin waits behind her, thinking her to go another two steps. Rosalyn looks out the door. 9,12; 10,140

09/29/89 Rosalyn shows Calvin there is nothing outside.  Calvin closes the door behind her.  He locks the door.  He and Hobbes can watch TV and eat cookies until they're sick.  Hobbes says this is the best they've ever been baby sat. 9,12; 10,140

09/30/89 Rosalyn yells in for Calvin to let her inside.  From the top window, Calvin taunts her by saying there's only a 50% chance of rain. Hobbes notices her trying to open the downstairs windows.  Calvin already has locked them.  Rosalyn looks in the window and tells Calvin to open the door.  Calvin asks what's in Rosalyn's purse and says he's going to look. 9,12; 10,140

10/01/89 It's recess and there's a tyrannosaurus on the playground. The kids at the top of the slide go first. They had pushed and fought each other to be there. Teachers line the kids up to go inside. That's a sad mistake. The kids are gobbled up like Children McNuggets. The playground is empty. The tyrannosaur lets out a triumphant roar. Miss Wormwood sees Calvin's empty desk and wonders where he is. One of the kids in the class sees him by the swings yelling or something. 9,15; 10,143

10/02/89 Rosalyn yells in that she's going to tell Calvin's parents about this.  Calvin yells down for Rosalyn to pipe down.  He and Hobbes can hardly hear the TV.  Rosalyn says that he isn't supposed to be watching TV. Calvin offers that if she'll go get a VCR and a movie, they'll put the TV near a window so she can watch.  Rosalyn shakes the door knob.  Calvin asks if she's 18.  He wants her to get "Venusian Vampire Vixens". 9,13; 10,141

10/03/89 The phone rings inside the house.  Rosalyn hopes it's Calvin's parents.  She yells in that she hopes they ask to speak with her. Calvin says it's her boyfriend, Charlie.  He offers to say she's indisposed.  She wants to talk with Charlie.  Calvin asks Chas if he isn't settling for too little in the girlfriend department. 9,13; 10,141

10/04/89 At the restaurant, Mom and Dad are holding hands with wine glasses on the table.  Mom says it's nice for them to get out of the house alone together for a change.  Dad says it's so nice and quiet, they should do it more often.  At home, Rosalyn yells in that she's going to break a window to get in.  Calvin, on the phone, tells Chuck that his girlfriend is a psycho.  He hopes Charlie isn't making any long-range plans around her. 9,13; 10,141

10/05/89 Calvin and Hobbes are sitting on the floor watching TV. Calvin says this is fun.  All the TV shows they aren't allowed to watch and a bag of cookies each.  They hear a slam.  Calvin wonders what it is.  It's Rosalyn!  Calvin is horrified and wonders how she got in.  Mom and Dad come up behind Rosalyn.  Calvin gulps and decides it's past his bedtime. 9,14; 10,142

10/06/89 Mom drags Calvin while he protests that is was a misunderstanding, an innocent mistake.  Mom explains that locking Rosalyn out of the house wasn't just mean, it was dangerous.  She explains that if he had gotten hurt or there was a fire, Rosalyn wouldn't have been able to help him.  She tells Calvin to go apologize.  Calvin does.  Dad adds that he and Mom are sorry too and assures her Calvin will behave himself next time.  Rosalyn says an extra five would help there be a next time. 9,14; 10,142

10/07/89 In bed, Calvin tells Hobbes he got in trouble.  Stealing Mom's shoes, making Mom and Dad late, locking Rosalyn out of the house. Calvin says that's a lot to live down for just one evening.  He feels pretty bad.  Hobbes adds that having eaten a whole package of Oreos doesn't help. 9,14; 10,142

10/08/89 Calvin tells Hobbes he wishes he had more friends, but people are such jerks. Calvin says if you can get most people to ignore you and leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find one person you really like, you're lucky. He adds that if that person can stand you, you're really lucky. Hobbes asks what if you find someone you can talk to while you eat apples on a bright fall morning. They stop to eat their lunch. They sit up against a tree and eat their apples. Calvin supposes there's no point in being greedy. 9,16; 10,144

10/09/89 Calvin is reading his homework.  He says it's boring.  He asks how he's ever going to read three whole pages by tomorrow.  It's impossible.  He hits his book and says nothing's impossible...for Stupendous Man.  He runs out of the room. 9,17; 10,145

10/10/89 It's Stupendous Man, lover of liberty.  He notices Calvin (his 6-yr-old alter ego) has three pages of boring homework to read.  It's tyranny!  Stupendous Man could easily read the assignment with his high-speed vision, he has a bolder plan.  The caped combatant concludes there's no need for homework if there is no school tomorrow. 9,17; 10,145

10/11/89 Stupendous Man flies to the observatory telescope at Mount Palomar.  With his stupendous strength, he carefully unscrews the giant lens and blasts into space with it. 9,17; 10,145

10/12/89 Stupendous Man circles the earth with a 200 inch telescope lens.  Aligning perfectly to the sun, the magnifying lens focuses the terrible solar energy....and fries a certain elementary school clean off the map.  Stupendous Man flies into the bedroom window saying Calvin has no need of ever doing homework again.  Liberty prevails! 9,18; 10,146

10/13/89 Mom calls into the bedroom asking if Calvin is doing his homework.  Stupendous Man recognizes his arch-nemesis, Mom-lady.  He doesn't want her to discover his secret identity.  He goes into the closet to change back into his alter ego, Calvin.  Mom enters the bedroom looking for Calvin.  Calvin, in the closet, notices that Stupendous Man's cape has gotten caught in Calvin's zipper.  Mom opens the closet to see Calvin standing in his underwear.  She says she can tell this is going to be a good one. 9,18; 10,146

10/14/89 Mom asks why he's standing in his closet in his underwear. Calvin says because it was hot.  Mom reminds him he's supposed to be doing his homework.  Calvin tells her he doesn't have to do it, thanks to Stupendous Man.  He explains how Stupendous Man fried the school with a big magnifying glass in space.  He's sure it will be in all the papers tomorrow.  Calvin, sitting at his desk reading his homework, grumbles that she'll be in trouble when she gives him his costume back. 9,18; 10,146

10/15/89 Calvin comes home and is pounced on by Hobbes. They're fighting as Susie asks what he's doing. She says he didn't even change out of his school clothes. Calvin explains that this maniac is so glad to see him that he blasts out like a big orange torpedo. A dog will wag its tail, but a tiger has to pounce on you. Susie asks if Hobbes pounces on him. Calvin says Hobbes enjoys the treachery and cunning of it all. He says it's their evil nature. Susie points out that Hobbes is just sitting there. Calvin says it's a big disguise. No one can fathom the savage mind of a jungle cat. He's a killer to the core. Susie walks off wishing her parents would move. Her diary gets weirder every day. Calvin looks at Hobbes and cocks his fist. He says to wipe off that grin or he'll do it for him. 9,19; 10,147

10/16/89 Calvin the reptile is in trouble.  As an ectotherm, his body relies on the environment to warm or cool its temperature.  Since it's colder outside, Calvin's body temperature falls and he becomes sluggish. He'll go into torpor if he can't find a warm place to lie.  Mom tells Calvin to leave the thermostat alone and put a sweater on if he's cold. Calvin, slumped on a chair, says he doesn't have the energy. 8,126; 10,131

10/17/89 Hobbes is lying on the floor with Calvin leaning against him.  Calvin heard that big cats don't purr.  Hobbes says that's true. They're too fierce and ferocious.  Calvin asks what he calls the noise he makes when his tummy gets rubbed.  Hobbes replies it's growling friendly-like. 8,126; 10,131

10/18/89 Dad tells Calvin that he and Mom looked over his report card and think he could do better.  Calvin says he doesn't like school.  Dad explains that Calvin likes to read and likes to learn.  He knows Calvin has read every dinosaur book ever written, and he learned a lot.  He says reading and learning are fun.  Dad asks why he doesn't like school.  Calvin tells him they don't read about dinosaurs. 8,126; 10,131

10/19/89 Calvin has an idea for Dad.  He suggests Dad pay him $1 for every "D", $5 for every "C", $10 for every "B", and $50 for every "A".  Dad says he's not going to bribe Calvin.  He should apply himself for his own good.  Calvin says rats, he thought he could make a quick four bucks. 9,20; 10,148

10/20/89 Calvin calls Valley Hardware looking for blasting caps, detonators, timers, and wire.  They only have wire.  He asks if they rent bulldozers or backhoes.  He tells them a rototiller won't do.  He asks about wrecking balls.  They can't help Calvin.  He walks outside and tells Hobbes it looks like another boring day. 9,20; 10,148

10/21/89 Calvin can't sleep, he's been thinking.  Hobbes asks about what.  Calvin wonders what happens if there is no afterlife.  That would mean this life is all you get.  That would mean he's sitting in bed as precious moments of his all-too-short life disappear forever.  Mom wakes Dad asking if he hears the television on. 9,20; 10,148

10/22/89 Calvin can't get to sleep. He tries lying still thinking about how good it feels in bed, how soft the pillow is, how tired he is. That isn't working. He hears someone calling his name. Calvin asks if Mom is awake too. It's time to get up. Calvin says it can't be. It's the middle of the night and he hasn't slept a wink yet. Mom gently shakes Calvin awake. He had been dreaming. Calvin blinks his eyes. As he eats his cereal, he says this is going to be a bad day. 9,21; 10,149

10/23/89 Calvin tells Mom the strangest thing happened to him a few minutes ago.  He was suddenly zapped into some sort of space void vortex. He watched helplessly as an evil duplicate of himself from a parallel universe took his place and...  Mom asks what he did now.  Calvin quickly says it wasn't him. 9,22; 10,150

10/24/89 Calvin is reading in the chair.  He hears something say "heh, heh, heh".  He looks behind the chair.  He tells Hobbes he sees him sneaking up to pounce on him.  Hobbes says "phooey".  Calvin tells him he sees why most tigers don't chuckle to themselves. 9,22; 10,150

10/25/89 Calvin asks Hobbes if he wants to play a game he invented. It's called "gross out".  Hobbes should say the grossest thing he can think of, then Calvin tries to come up with something grosser.  Whoever has the grossest thing gets a point.  They play until someone gets 50 points. Hobbes says he thinks he already know who will win.  Calvin says nobody has ever played a whole game with him. 9,22; 10,150

10/26/89 Dad is sitting on his chair, reading.  Calvin blows up a paper bag and pops it.  Dad jumps.  Calvin tells him to pay attention to him. 9,24; 10,152

10/27/89 Calvin tells Hobbes he has to write a report for school. It's on bats.  Calvin can't think of anything more stupid.  He says he doesn't know anything about bats.  How's he supposed to write a report on something he knows nothing about?  Hobbes says he supposes research is out of the question.  Calvin says he's going to learn about bats, then write a report?  Give him a break! 9,24; 10,152; 14,95

10/28/89 Calvin calls Susie.  He asks her what her topic for the report is.  It's elephants.  Calvin asks if she's going to the library to do research on elephants.  Susie is.  Calvin asks while she's there if she wouldn't mind researching bats, too, and make copies of all the information she finds, underline the important parts, and outline it so he doesn't have to read it.  Calvin comes back to his bedroom.  Hobbes asks how it went. Calvin, with a frown, says he really loathes girls. 9,24; 10,152; 14,95

10/29/89 Calvin asks Dad why old photographs are black and white. He asks if they didn't have color film back then. Dad tells him they did, but the world was black and white then. He says the world didn't turn color until the 1930's. Calvin says that's weird. Dad says truth is stranger than fiction. Calvin then asks why old paintings are in color. If the world was black and white, wouldn't artists have painted it that way? Dad says a lot of great artists were insane. Calvin asks how they could have painted in color. Their paints would have been shades of gray. Dad says the paints turned colors like everything else did in the '30s. Calvin then asks why old black and white photos didn't turn color. Dad says because they were color pictures of black and white. Later, Calvin tells Hobbes the world is a complicated place. Hobbes says whenever it seems that way, he takes a nap in a tree and waits for dinner. 9,23; 10,151

10/30/89 Calvin asks Hobbes to help him with his bat report.  Hobbes suggests starting with what they know.  Hobbes asks what bats are.  Calvin asks if they're bugs.  He has Hobbes write that down.  Hobbes asks if he's sure they're bugs.  Calvin says they fly, they're ugly and hairy.  He tries hurrying Hobbes, saying this is taking all day. 9,25; 10,153; 14,96

10/31/89 Calvin thinks they have enough information.  Hobbes tells him they only have the one fact Calvin made up.  Calvin says that's plenty. By the time they add an introduction, a few illustrations, and a conclusion, it will look like a graduate thesis.  Besides, he has a secret weapon that guarantees a good grade.  No teacher can resist it.  It's a clear plastic binder.  Pretty professional looking, eh?  Hobbes says he doesn't want coauthor credit on the report. 9,25; 10,153; 14,96

11/01/89 Calvin asks Susie if she wrote her report.  She did, it took all the evening.  Calvin says it only took him 15 minutes.  It doesn't take long when you know as much as he does.  Susie asks to see the report. Calvin tells her she won't be setting the grade curve this time.  She reads the title "Bats: The Big Bug Scourge of the Skies".  Calvin points out the professional, clear plastic binder.  Susie yells that bats aren't bugs. 9,25; 10,153; 14,97

11/02/89 Miss Wormwood asks the class if there are any volunteers to give his report first.  Calvin volunteers.  Miss Wormwood is surprised. She says Calvin must have done a good job.  She tells Calvin to start. Calvin begins by pointing out to everyone that his report is in a professional, clear plastic binder.  Calvin continues by saying when a report looks this good, you know it'll get an "A".  He says that's a tip, kids, and he tells them to write that down. 9,26; 10,154; 14,97

11/03/89 Calvin starts with a dramatic reading of "With a creepy, tingling sensation, you hear the fluttering of leathery wings.  Bats! These unspeakable giant bugs drop onto...".  The class all replies "Bats aren't bugs".  Calvin asks them who's giving the report.  Those chowderheads or him?  Miss Wormwood would like to see Calvin a moment. 9,26; 10,154; 14,98

11/04/89 Calvin complains to Hobbes about what the teacher wrote on his report.  She says he obviously did no research whatsoever and that his scientific illustration looks like he traced the Batman logo and added fangs.  Hobbes says she's pretty perceptive.  Calvin says she didn't even give him credit for the professional, clear plastic binder.  Hobbes asks what his parents have to say.  Calvin replies nothing.  He says with Hobbes' help, it will stay that way.  He has a shovel in his hand, and he's digging a hole for the report. 9,26; 10,154; 14,98

11/05/89 Calvin believes history is a force. Its tide sweeps all people and institutions along its path. Everything and everyone serve history's single purpose. Hobbes asks what that purpose is. Calvin says to produce him, of course. He's the end result of history. Calvin says thousands of generations lived and died to produce his exact, specific parents, whose reason for being was to produce him. Calvin goes on to say all history has been spent preparing the world for his presence. Hobbes thinks four and a half billion years probably wasn't long enough. Calvin says he's here, and history is vindicated. Hobbes asks what he's going to do, now that history's brought him. They sit at home watching cartoons on the television. 9,27; 10,155

11/06/89 Calvin asks Susie what she brought for lunch.  Susie tells him a Swiss cheese and ketchup sandwich.  She says it's her favorite, so she doesn't want to hear what gross thing he brought.  Calvin says he bought the school lunch today.  He says it appears to be cigar butts in a gallstone sauce.  Susie yells that those are beany-wienies.  Calvin sticks out his tongue and says "Oh gross". 9,29; 10,157

11/07/89 Dad answers the phone, and it's Calvin.  Calvin tells him he's at school.  Dad asks if everything is alright.  He asks why he called. Calvin says he told the teacher he had to go to the bathroom.  Instead, Calvin went to the pay phone.  He asks Dad what 11 + 7 is. 9,29; 10,157

11/08/89 Calvin and Hobbes are walking in the woods.  Calvin says he was reading how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man's destruction of forests.  Calvin continues by saying the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. 9,29; 10,157

11/09/89 Calvin pulls his shirt out, then steps into it.  He comes downstairs standing in his shirt, with his pants and shoes on his head. Mom tells him he will be late for school.  He makes him put his clothes on right.  Walking away, Calvin laments that it's sad how some people can't handle a little variety. 9,30; 10,158

11/10/89 In bed, Calvin wonders why man was put on earth.  He asks what's their purpose.  Why are they here?  Hobbes tells him "tiger food". Hobbes then smiles at Calvin.  Lying back down in bed, Calvin peeks over at Hobbes. 9,30; 10,158; 14,22

11/11/89 Hobbes is lying asleep on the floor.  Calvin walks by blowing a gum bubble.  It pops, and Hobbes jumps into the air.  Calvin, lying on the floor all torn up, asks Hobbes if he's a little high-strung. Hobbes tells him tigers call it lightning quick reflexes. 9,30; 10,158

11/12/89 Calvin is dragging the sled, but there's no snow on the ground. Hobbes asks what he's doing. Calvin says he plans an appeal to the snow demons. He says they're tormenting them with wimpy weather because they're angry. Calvin is going to lie on his sled and think snow thoughts until the snow demons have mercy and unleash a blizzard. Calvin says a rhyme about it snowing. Hobbes looks at the sky. He walks away and says he'll come out in January to see how he's doing. Calvin tells him to let Mom know he'll need his meals out there and that he won't be going to school tomorrow. 9,28; 10,156

11/13/89 Calvin is reading his homework.  Suddenly, he flies up into the ceiling.  BAM!  Mom yells in from the other room for him to quit banging around. 9,32; 10,160

11/14/89 Calvin is sitting on the ceiling.  Nothing else fell up, just him.  If he tries to jump to the floor, he lands back on the ceiling. His personal gravity must have reversed polarity.  As he walks along the ceiling, he says you'd think this would be the type of thing they'd learn about in science class.  But instead, they learn about cirrus clouds. 9,32; 10,160

11/15/89 Calvin can't figure out how to get to the floor with his personal gravity polarity reversed.  There's nothing on the ceiling he can climb to get there.  He wonders how he'll do his homework if he's trapped on the ceiling.  Calvin smiles. 9,32; 10,160

11/16/89 Calvin knows Mom and Dad won't be happy about things.  Dad will have to bolt his bed to the ceiling, and Mom will have to stand on a step ladder to serve dinner.  He'll have to hold the plate upside down and scrape the food off the underside.  If he spills anything, it will fall ten feet to the floor.  He says this will be the most fun he's ever had. 9,33; 10,161

11/17/89 With all the open ceiling space, Calvin wishes he could get his roller skates.  He decides to try climbing down the bookcase and jumping to a chair.  Then he can pull himself across other pieces of furniture to get to his toy chest.  As he walks down the bookcase, he says he can hear Mom wondering how he got sneaker prints on the underside of each shelf. 9,33; 10,161

11/18/89 Calvin is ready to jump to the chair.  He leaps.  The chair pushes over and lands on its back.  WHAM!  Mom yells in from the other room for him to quit banging around. 9,33; 10,161

11/19/89 Calvin gets dressed and walks out the door. He trips on a rock and falls through the sky. He wakes up. He gets out of bed, gets dressed, goes out the door, and falls through the sky. He wakes up. He hears Mom call to him, asking if he's getting up. 9,31; 10,159

11/20/89 Calvin tries to pull the chair upright.  Mom comes over and asks if he's getting any homework done, or if he's just ruining furniture. Calvin replies that maybe he's hanging on the chair for dear life. 9,34; 10,162

11/21/89 As Mom picks Calvin up, he tells her his personal gravity reversed its polarity.  As Mom carries him up the stairs, he tells her he's been stuck on the ceiling.  He couldn't do his homework there.  He tells Mom she should be glad it didn't happen outside or he would be sailing through the ionosphere.  As Mom puts him in his chair, she tells him she doesn't want to hear any more of his nonsense until he's through with his homework.  Calvin tells her not to let him go. 9,34; 10,162

11/22/89 Calvin declares a miracle.  His personal gravity is back to normal.  Mom's glad to hear it.  Calvin says it's a relief to be pulled down instead of up.  Mom says she'll check on his progress in a little bit. Calvin sits grumpily looking at his homework.  He starts to get larger.  He says "uh oh". 9,34; 10,162

11/23/89 Calvin keeps growing.  He tries to get out his bedroom door. He squeezes out into the hallway.  As he crawls along, he says this has been a most peculiar afternoon. 9,35; 10,163

11/24/89 Calvin has to get outside before he grows bigger.  He barely gets his foot out the door.  Once outside, he walks off saying he should get his pituitary gland checked. 9,35; 10,163

11/25/89 Calvin runs toward downtown to find Dad at work.  He figures he can help.  As Calvin walks among the skyscrapers, he can't tell which one Dad works in.  He decides maybe Dad can find him. 9,35; 10,163

11/26/89 The muck monsters of Mordo are closing in on Spaceman Spiff. They fire at them, but just miss. He tries to fly through the rings of the planet below. The monsters veer off, afraid to follow Spiff. Swerving left, right, up, and down, Spiff pilots around each hurling missile. POW! Our hero's going down. Moe has hit Calvin with a ball. Calvin, lying against a wall, says he hates playing "dodge ball" in gym class. 9,38; 10,166

11/27/89 The ever-growing Calvin walks off the shore into the ocean. His head enters the clouds.  He grows up through the clouds.  Calvin looks up toward the heavens. 9,36; 10,164; 14,100

11/28/89 Calvin continues to grow.  He gets so big he can barely stand on the earth.  He gets bigger and eventually falls off the earth. 9,36; 10,164; 14,100

11/29/89 Calvin falls into the Milky Way galaxy.  He tumbles around. He sees a door. 9,36; 10,164; 14,101

11/30/89 Calvin opens the door, and he's normal size in his room.  He sits back down at the desk.  Mom comes in and asks how his math is coming along.  Calvin says he's almost started. 9,37; 10,165; 14,101

12/01/89 Mom is talking to Calvin, but he's thinking about getting another "discussion" about his study habits and the importance of homework. Calvin continues thinking about how he tried to tell her it's hard to study when one's size suddenly starts increasing.  Mom is still talking and gesturing, but Calvin continues thinking about how she says it's all his fault.  Mom hasn't been as big as a galaxy, so she doesn't understand how anyone else can be.  Calvin thinks Mom is wrapping up, so he starts nodding.  Mom tells him she's glad they had this little talk. 9,37; 10,165

12/02/89 Calvin tells Hobbes he missed the show.  He tells him he got a big lecture because he got stuck on the ceiling and then grew so big he fell off the planet when he should have been doing math.  Hobbes doesn't think that isn't fair.  Calvin asks for help on his homework.  Hobbes says tigers are good at math.  He asks what the little horizontal lines mean. Calvin tells him it's a minus sign.  He tells Hobbes to let him know when he's done.  Calvin is going to be reading comic books. 9,37; 10,165

12/03/89 Calvin is mailing his Christmas list to Santa. It's costing $2.40 to send. Calvin says Santa had better read it carefully. Last year, he didn't get half of what he wanted. Hobbes asks Calvin if he behaved better this year. Calvin says he's been a veritable angel this year, like always. Hobbes says in that case, they can have a cookout with his stocking contents. Hobbes asks if Calvin put anything on his list for him. Calvin tells him to make his own list. Hobbes sticks his tongue out and tells Calvin "tidings of comfort and joy to you too". Calvin tells him it's every man for himself in this world. But since Calvin can't reach the mail box flap to open it, he tells Hobbes to give him a boost. 9,40; 10,168

12/04/89 Calvin asks Dad when they're going to get a Christmas tree. Dad tells Calvin a little after New Year's.  Calvin is shocked.  Dad explains that they can go up the street and pick the best tree from the neighbors' driveways.  Dad continues by saying there's sometimes some tinsel left on the trees, so you don't even have to decorate it.  You save time and money.  Calvin, horrified, clings to Mom's ankle.  Mom asks what Dad told him this time. 9,39; 10,167

12/05/89 In class, Calvin has a question.  He asks Miss Wormwood if they could stop the lesson and adjourn to the playground for the rest of the day.  Miss Wormwood says of course not.  Calvin then asks if just he can. 9,39; 10,167

12/06/89 For "show and tell", Calvin has something he says will astound and amaze the class.  He looks into the bag, then looks from side-to-side.  He then asks the class if everyone has had their shots. 9,39; 10,167

12/07/89 Calvin asks if there are any monsters under his bed tonight. A couple voices say of course not, come see for himself.  Calvin says he's not going to fall for that.  He asks who he's talking to if there are no monsters.  After some hesitation, the voices say they're dust balls. Calvin says they're all teeth and digestive tract, no brains at all. 9,41; 10,169

12/08/89 Calvin asks what his disgusting dinner is.  Mom sets the plate down and tells him it's spider pie.  She says he can pick out the big legs and give them to Dad if they're too hairy for Calvin.  Calvin looks at the plate.  Calvin decides he likes it.  Mom says they'll have a quiet dinner for once.  Dad says he sure doesn't feel like opening his mouth. 9,41; 10,169

12/09/89 Hobbes asks Calvin if he wants to play outside.  Calvin goes into great detail why he doesn't.  He'd have to get up, get a coat, put on his hat, they'd run around and get tired.  Then, he'd have to come in and take it all off again.  Hobbes asks what he'll do.  Calvin says he's going to sit in the chair until a good TV show comes on.  Hobbes walks off saying he'll tell Mom and Dad to point him toward the light and water him periodically.  Calvin tells him that instead of making smart remarks, he could get Calvin the remote control. 9,41; 10,169

12/10/89 It has snowed overnight. Calvin walks out into it. He says a mountain of ice has crushed half the neighborhood. It's a glacier in his own town. Wooly mammoths walk about. Calvin declares a new Ice Age. He pulls out his sled. There has really only been one...lousy...half...inch. Hobbes tells Calvin the sun is coming out. 9,42; 10,170

12/11/89 Mom asks why Calvin is still in bed.  She's called him three times.  Calvin says he's staying in bed until Christmas.  He wants tons of loot this year, and he figures his chances of being good improve greatly if he doesn't get up.  Mom says that disobeying his mother and missing the bus isn't good, it's bad.  As Calvin hops into his clothes, he says that darn Santa has got him every way he turns. 9,43; 10,171

12/12/89 Calvin tells Hobbes he hates this time of year.  He has two more weeks to be good if he wants Christmas goodies.  He says he tries to be good.  He says his heart is pure as the driven snow.  He says sometimes events beyond his control conspire against him.  Hobbes rolls his eyes, and Calvin catches him.  They start fighting.  Calvin says Hobbes' eyes will be rolling toward each other when he's through with him.  Hobbes counters by saying he hopes Calvin asked Santa for some crutches. 9,43; 10,171

12/13/89 Still fighting, Calvin calls Hobbes a miscreant.  He asks if Hobbes questions his integrity.  Hobbes replies he can't question it until he sees some evidence of it.  Calvin stops and realizes he's been fighting. Calvin yells to Santa that Hobbes made him fight.  Hobbes yells that Calvin meant to fight and that Calvin started it.  They start fighting again, calling each other liars. 9,43; 10,171

12/14/89 Calvin stops again and tells Hobbes that since no one saw them fighting, it can be their little secret.  He says Santa doesn't have to know about this.  Hobbes isn't sure if Santa does or not.  Calvin apologizes to Hobbes.  Hobbes replies that Calvin bit and kicked.  Calvin says he apologized and wonders what else Hobbes wants.  Hobbes says Calvin could let him read all his comic books.  Calvin replies "Over my dead body".  Hobbes pretends to write Santa a note about what Calvin did today. 9,44; 10,172

12/15/89 Calvin tells Hobbes that if it wasn't so close to Christmas, he'd pound him good.  Hobbes wants to see him try.  Calvin won't be tempted.  He wants every item on his Christmas list, so he's being good. Hobbes mentions Susie Derkins is coming.  Calvin looks for a pine cone to throw at her.  He stops, clenches his teeth, and says he's going to be good.  Hobbes says he'll never make it to Christmas.  He might as well give up now and enjoy himself. 9,44; 10,172

12/16/89 Susie asks Calvin if he's bringing Hobbes to school.  Calvin says Hobbes is just keeping him company while he waits for the bus.  Calvin goes on to say Hobbes has been nothing but trouble today.  He's trying to sabotage Calvin's Christmas by making Calvin be bad.  Calvin tells Susie that he asked Santa for such great presents that he can withstand any temptation.  Susie asks what he asked for.  Calvin tells her a heat-seeking guided missile.  He figures five minutes with one of those babies makes up for the whole rotten month. 9,44; 10,172

12/17/89 Hobbes brings Calvin a letter from the "North Pole". Calvin opens the note and reads that he's a rotten little kid, he's obviously the naughtiest kid in the whole world, but he has seven days to get on the "good boy" list. The note suggests being kind to animals. Perhaps an animal who would like a snack soon, or one who could read his comic books sometime. It's signed "Santa Claws". Calvin recognizes the handwriting. It is from Hobbes. Calvin offers Hobbes a knuckle sandwich for a snack. 9,45; 10,173

12/18/89 Calvin asks Hobbes if he'll help him write a book.  Calvin says this book will be like historical fiction.  He's writing a fictional autobiography.  He tells Hobbes it's the story of his life with a lot of parts completely made up.  Hobbes asks why he'd want to make up his whole life.  Calvin replies that in his book, he has a flame thrower. 9,46; 10,174

12/19/89 Calvin comes upon a sleeping Hobbes.  Calvin says a poem. "Still and quiet feline form, in the sun asleep and warm, his tail is limp, his whiskers drooped, man what could make this cat so pooped".  He walks off.  Hobbes thinks "sheeshh". 9,46; 10,174; 14,106

12/20/89 Calvin tells Mom he's making a newspaper to report the events of the household.  He's looking for a page one lead story and asks if he can interview her.  He asks what she's cutting up for dinner.  Mom replies fish.  Calvin has the headlines.  Knife wielding mother hacks ichthyoid!  Grim melee is evening ritual!  Suburban family devours victim! Mom shoo's him out of the kitchen. 9,46; 10,174

12/21/89 Calvin tells Dad he's making a newspaper to report the events of the household.  He asks Dad to help him out either by giving him fifteen bucks to pay labor and production costs or to be the subject of a comic strip, "Dopey Dad".  Under his blanket at night, using a flashlight, Calvin and Hobbes are drawing the comic strip.  Calvin has Dopey Dad yelling "It's bed time for you, young man".  Hobbes chuckles about how big he made the mouth. 9,47; 10,175

12/22/89 Calvin gets out of the bathtub wearing a snorkel and mask. He's breathing through the snorkel.  He goes out the bathroom door and down the stairs.  He's standing there naked telling Mom he wishes they would get an aquarium. 9,47; 10,175

12/23/89 Dad asks Calvin what story he'd like to hear.  Calvin wants "Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie".  Dad wants to read something different.  Calvin insists.  Dad says he's going to read a different story that Calvin will like.  Calvin says he won't like it.  He threatens to stay awake until morning unless Dad reads Hamster Huey.  Afterward, Hobbes tells Calvin he doesn't remember Hamster Huey having quite that sarcastic tone of voice.  Calvin doesn't remember Hamster Huey doing everything so fast. 9,47; 10,175

12/24/89 Calvin and Hobbes are lying on the floor, by the Christmas tree and the fireplace. There is a poem about Christmas Eve. It reads the tree is decorated festively, Christmas songs play on the radio, his tiger is fast asleep, he turns to warm whatever's not hot. He gives his friend a gentle hug. Tomorrow is what he's waiting for, but he can wait a little more. 9,48; 10,176

12/25/89 Calvin and Hobbes are under the Christmas tree.  Hobbes gives Calvin a present.  He picked it out himself.  It's three cans of salmon.  Calvin thanks Hobbes for the gift.  Calvin feels bad because he didn't get Hobbes anything.  Hobbes suggests Calvin give him back the gift. Calvin does, and Hobbes thanks him.  They exchange Christmas wishes. 9,49; 10,177

12/26/89 Calvin and Hobbes are at the top of "Pallbearer Peak" with their sled.  Calvin talks about the horror of the descent, the thousand foot vertical drop onto a boulder field lined with pricker bushes.  It's a journey calculated to exceed the human capacity for blinding fear.  Calvin asks Hobbes if he's ready to go, and Hobbes says yes.  They get up and walk off with their sled in hand. 9,49; 10,177

12/27/89 Calvin is standing in the snow watching Dad walk by.  Calvin asks if Dad is wearing a new hat.  Dad says yes.  Calvin says he likes it, and Dad says he does, also.  Calvin makes a snowball.  Dad's briefcase is lying on the sidewalk next to his new hat which has snow around it.  Off screen, Calvin yells that Dad is going to be late for work. 9,49; 10,177

12/28/89 There are snowmen on the yard.  One is holding his head, one has three eyes and two noses, one was built around a tree so it looks like the tree sticks up from the snowman, one is cut in half by a smaller snowman on a sled.  Mom has her tongue stuck out.  Calvin asks if Mom likes his "Snowman House of Horror". 9,50; 10,178

12/29/89 A snowball flies over Calvin's head.  He turns and says he sees Hobbes.  He says Hobbes is a lousy shot.  The next snowball smacks Calvin right in the face.  Hobbes comes over and says he just threw the first one so Calvin would turn around. 9,50; 10,178

12/30/89 Calvin and Hobbes are walking across the snow covered field. Hobbes says a new decade is coming up.  Calvin says big deal.  Calvin asks where are the flying cars, the moon colonies, the personal robots, and zero gravity boots.  He scoffs that this is the future.  He asks where are the rocket packs, disintegration rays, and floating cities.  Hobbes isn't so sure people have the brains to manage the technology they have. 9,50; 10,178

12/31/89 Hobbes asks if Calvin is making any New Year resolutions. Calvin asks what he's implying. He thinks he's perfect the way he is. He rants on about staying like this, and everyone can get used to it. It's a free country. He doesn't need anyone's permission to be the way he wants. He says life is too short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron who's got an idea how he should be. Everyone can stay out of his face. He turns around to see Hobbes has left. Calvin grumbles that Hobbes should resolve to be more attentive when someone is speaking. 9,51; 10,179

1990

01/01/90 Calvin makes a snowball and rolls it down the hill.  He watches it go down, then cheers.  At the bottom of the hill, under a huge snowball, Susie yells back up the hill at Calvin. 9,52; 10,180

01/02/90 Calvin looks down the hill.  He and Hobbes are at the top of the hill with their sled.  Calvin says that before going down a steep hill, one should always give his sled a safety check.  Seat belts and signals? Hobbes says none.  Brakes and steering?  Hobbes says none.  Down the hill they go, yelling "Wheeeeee" as they slide down. 9,52; 10,180

01/03/90 Calvin asks Mom how cold it is outside.  Mom suggests he go check.  Calvin opens the front door and stands there.  Snow starts piling up around him and on his head.  He tells Mom he'd say it's pretty darn cold.  Mom is ready to wring his neck and says she wants to show him an interesting gadget that's hanging outside the window. 9,52; 10,180

01/04/90 Calvin throws a snowball at Susie that goes over her head. She makes fun of Calvin.  He storms off with an angry expression.  Susie looks started.  She runs off with Calvin in close pursuit.  He has a shovel full of snow in his hand. 9,53; 10,181

01/05/90 Calvin and Hobbes come in from the snow.  Calvin says this is the part of winter he likes.  You come inside cold and soaked, you put on dry clothes and go into the kitchen, where Mom has a steaming mug of hot chocolate waiting for you.  He calls for Mom, but there's no answer. Hobbes reads a note that says Mom is next door.  She writes for him not to eat anything or he'll spoil his appetite.  Calvin says this is going to be a long, cold, dark winter. 9,53; 10,181

01/06/90 Calvin has built a snowman that lies on the ground.  Calvin has a saw in his hand, taking the top of the snowman off.  Calvin tells Susie that while he's doing the brain surgery, she can build a donor and do a heart transplant.  Susie walks off saying forget it.  She's not going to play with him any more. 9,53; 10,181

01/07/90 Calvin declares himself a genius. He has loaded snowballs onto his toboggan. He sees Susie building a snowman down the hill. He plans to zip down and pelt her silly with the snowballs. He tells Hobbes to steer, while he throws. Susie hears them coming. Calvin is telling Hobbes to steer closer. Then, they're too close. Calvin calls "Mayday". PIFF! They run into Susie's snowman. Calvin, lying in the snow, says another genius is thwarted by an incapable assistant. Susie has the head of her snowman in her hands above her head. She tells Calvin to look up. 9,54; 10,182

01/08/90 Calvin asks Hobbes to look at his newest invention.  It's a box, sitting open on its side.  Hobbes asks if that isn't Calvin's transmogrifier.  Calvin says that it was, but he made some modifications. It's now a duplicator.  It combines the technologies of the transmogrifier and a photocopier.  Instead of a reproduction on paper, you get a real duplicate.  Hobbes asks if their financial worries are now over.  Calvin tells him counterfeiting is just one of its many uses around the home. 9,55; 10,183; 14,108

01/09/90 Hobbes asks if Calvin has tested his duplicator yet.  Calvin is ready to.  Hobbes asks what they should duplicate first.  Calvin volunteers himself.  He says Mom wants him to clean his room, so he can duplicate himself and let the duplicate do the work.  Hobbes says he can picture the looks on his parents' faces when they find out they've suddenly had twins.  Calvin thinks he can make a whole baseball team this summer. 9,55; 10,183; 14,108

01/10/90 Calvin tells Hobbes to push the button to duplicate him. Hobbes isn't so sure he should.  Calvin criticizes Hobbes as a doubting Thomas getting in the way of scientific advancement with their stupid ethical questions.  Hobbes says he'd hate to be accused of inhibiting scientific progress, so he pushes the button.  BOINK!  Hobbes asks if scientific progress goes boink.  Inside the box, Calvin says that it worked and he's a genius.  Another voice calls Calvin a liar and says he invented it. 9,55; 10,183; 14,109

01/11/90 Calvin introduces his duplicate.  Hobbes isn't sure he's ready for this.  Calvin tells his duplicate that he and Hobbes are going out to play.  The duplicate will clean Calvin's room and do his homework. The duplicate doesn't like that.  He runs off, telling Calvin to find another sucker to do his dirty work.  Hobbes comments on how he is a duplicate of Calvin, all right.  Calvin asks what he means.  He says the duplicate is a total jerk. 9,56; 10,184; 14,109

01/12/90 The duplicate walks by Mom dressed to go outside.  Mom asks if he cleaned his room like she asked him to.  The duplicate tells her that he's going outside and that Calvin can clean his own room.  Mom doesn't want any nonsense and tells him to go upstairs.  As he walks away, he says he's Calvin's duplicate.  Calvin is upstairs.  Mom gets angry and tells him to go to his room.  The duplicate says she's a crabby lady.  He asks if she's Calvin's cruel governess. 9,56; 10,184; 14,110

01/13/90 Calvin and Hobbes leave the bedroom to look for the duplicate.  Mom is putting a coat on the duplicate, who keeps telling Mom that he's not Calvin.  He says Calvin is in his bedroom.  Mom opens the bedroom door and shows there is no one there.  She tells him no more games and to clean his room.  Calvin is getting his coat on to check outside for the duplicate.  Hobbes says they better hurry.  He hears Mom coming down the stairs. 9,56; 10,184; 14,110

01/14/90 Calvin asks Dad to play outside in the snow with him. Dad is doing paperwork, so he can't play. Dad keeps working, but it's hard to concentrate. He looks out the window, then at his papers. He gets up and joins Calvin outside. They build a snowman together. That night, Dad is again working on his papers, but Mom holds Calvin up so he can give Dad a goodnight kiss on the head. 9,63; 10,191

01/15/90 Mom sees Calvin outside.  She asks if she didn't just send him to clean his room.  Calvin replies no.  Mom brings him inside and says she did tell him to clean the room.  She says she's losing patience for this game.  Calvin tells Hobbes she must have seen his duplicate.  They go to find the duplicate before he can cause any more trouble.  In the bedroom, another duplicate walks out of the duplicator.  Number two introduces himself to number three. 9,57; 10,185; 14,111

01/16/90 Calvin and Hobbes run up the stairs.  Calvin says Mom must have sent his duplicate upstairs.  Hobbes says this is turning into a mess. Calvin complains that the duplicate gets in trouble, but he gets the blame. They're horrified as they open the bedroom door.  Hobbes says Calvin's duplicator is a big success as he looks at five duplicate Calvins.  One of them says the duplicator burned out after the fifth one. 9,57; 10,185; 14,111

01/17/90 Calvin is horrified to see his duplicate made duplicates. Calvin wonders what he should do.  Hobbes suggests telling Mom to put out extra table settings.  Calvin tells the duplicates they have to stay in the room and keep quiet.  None of the duplicates want to do that.  Calvin says that since he's the original, they have to do what he says.  The duplicates suggest putting it to a vote. 9,57; 10,185; 14,112

01/18/90 One of the duplicates is going to get some cookies.  One of them is going outside.  Another one wonders what's on TV.  Calvin tells them Mom will see them.  One of the duplicates says that as long as they split up, every time Mom sees one of them, she'll think they're Calvin. The duplicates laugh and walk off.  Calvin calls them a bunch of devious little stinkers.  He wonders where they learned to misbehave that way. Hobbes thinks they should check into a hotel until this is over. 9,58; 10,186; 14,112

01/19/90 Mom tells Calvin not to eat cookies before dinner.  She asks if he cleaned his room yet.  The reply is that he's not Calvin, he's a duplicate.  Mom storms off saying "some days that kid of mine".  She sees Calvin in the living room watching TV.  She asks what he's doing in there. The reply is "are you taking a survey". 9,58; 10,186; 14,113

01/20/90 Dad gets home, and Calvin says hi.  Dad replies, and another Calvin comes by to say hi.  Dad says that he already told him hi.  Another Calvin says hi, and Dad tells him to knock it off.  Mom tells Dad that he should have a talk with Calvin.  He's been driving her crazy. 9,58; 10,186; 14,113

01/21/90 Mom, Dad, and Calvin are walking outside. Calvin complains that his toes are numb. Dad tells him numb toes build character. Calvin asks if frostbite, hypothermia, and death build character too. He says this is the worst day of his life. He says it seems like they've been walking for hours. Mom asks him to quit griping. Calvin says he's not griping. He's just observing what a miserable experience this walk is. He complains that as long as he's trudging hundreds of miles for no apparent reason, he might as well do it in silence. He continues ranting about being in the elements like a complete idiot, watching his digits turn to ice and fall off. They finally get home. Calvin grabs his toboggan and runs to play. 9,64; 10,192

01/22/90 Calvin tells the duplicates that since he doesn't know how to get rid of them, they might as well cooperate.  He says they can divide up the school week, since there are enough duplicates.  There's one for each day.  Calvin says if the rest of them lay low, they can take turns going to school, and no one will be the wiser.  Calvin ends with the question of who will get the bed.  The duplicates offer to fight him for it. 9,59; 10,187; 14,114

01/23/90 Susie says hi to Calvin.  The reply is that he's duplicate number two.  Susie asks what he's talking about.  He explains that they drew straws, and it's his day to go to school.  They're taking turns. Susie says Calvin's so weird, she isn't going to talk to him.  He says he's not Calvin.  Susie wishes she lived someplace where she went to a normal bus stop.  He asks if she'll help him find Calvin's locker. 9,59; 10,187; 14,114

01/24/90 Miss Wormwood asks Calvin to demonstrate the homework problem that was assigned.  Calvin says he wasn't there yesterday.  Miss Wormwood says he was present.  The explanation is that he is duplicate number five.  Duplicate number two was at school yesterday.  They are taking turns.  Number two will be back next week, so she can ask him to do the problem then.  In the principal's office, Calvin says he doesn't see what's so hard about this. 9,59; 10,187; 14,115

01/25/90 Number four comes in the bedroom.  He tells the others it's okay to come out.  They ask how school went.  He tells them he was sent to the principal's office, just like numbers two and five did.  Calvin says not even he got sent to the principal's office every day.  He says they're making him look bad.  One of the duplicates says that if Calvin doesn't like their performance, he can go to school himself.  Calvin says they shouldn't jump to conclusions.  All he's saying is there is room for improvement. 9,60; 10,188; 14,115

01/26/90 Calvin tells Hobbes they need to get rid of the duplicates. All they do is get him in trouble.  Calvin says everyone thinks he's doing all these rotten things, when it's really a duplicate.  He's being framed by his own doubles.  A bunch of duplicates run past Calvin, saying "run" and "hide".  Hobbes says it appears Calvin has perpetrated another crime. Calvin complains that the worst part is that he doesn't even have the fun of doing the stuff he's getting blamed for. 9,60; 10,188; 14,116

01/27/90 Calvin asks the duplicates what they've done now.  They tell him to hide, because Mom is on the warpath.  All the duplicates hide under the duplicator box when Mom comes in.  Calvin smiles and tries to look innocent while Mom asks him to explain his behavior.  From under the box, Calvin hears whispered a request to have a bigger allowance.  Five times bigger.  Calvin asks if he can get back to her on that issue. 9,60; 10,188; 14,116

01/28/90 Calvin stands looking at the snow, saying everything looks so pretty. He says it's his favorite time of the year. A shadow falls over Calvin. He looks up to see Hobbes. WUMPH! They tumble in the snow and roll down the hill. Covered with snow, Hobbes says this is his favorite time of the year. The new snow muffles approaching footsteps. Also covered with snow, Calvin says he can't wait for spring. 9,67; 10,195

01/29/90 Calvin is depressed that Mom read him the riot act.  Hobbes whispers a suggestion to Calvin, who smiles.  From under the box, voices ask if Mom has left, if the coast is clear, and whether they can come out. Hobbes says Mom is coming back again.  Calvin tells the duplicates to be quiet.  Calvin calls Hobbes a genius, as Calvin changes the wording on the box from duplicator to transmogrifier. 9,61; 10,189; 14,117

01/30/90 Calvin says so long to the duplicates.  From under the box, they start to say they're not going anywhere.  Calvin turns on the transmogrifier.  ZAP!  Hobbes asks what he changed them into.  Calvin tells him worms.  He says he didn't want them to be unhappy. 9,61; 10,189; 14,117

01/31/90 Calvin tells Mom he won't be getting into trouble anymore. Calvin again explains that he made duplicates of himself, and it was the duplicates who were bad.  Calvin shows her that he transmogrified them.  He holds his hands open, showing the worms.  Mom yells for him not to carry worms through the house.  She sends him outside.  Calvin digs a hole to put the worms in.  He tells them they got him in trouble one last time.  He hopes they're happy.  The worms ask if he doesn't want to put them on Dad's dinner plate tonight before they go. 9,61; 10,189; 14,118

02/01/90 Calvin tells Hobbes that they learned a valuable lesson from this duplicating mess.  Hobbes asks what that lesson is.  Calvin thinks about it, but can't come up with anything.  As they walk off, Calvin says "So we didn't learn any big lesson.  Sue me".  Hobbes replies "Live and don't learn.  That's us". 9,62; 10,190; 14,118

02/02/90 WHAP!  Susie gets smacked in the back of the head with a snowball.  She asks Calvin if he threw it.  Calvin pleads ignorance.  Susie looks at Calvin's mittens and sees bits of gravel, bark, mud, and ice.  She says it was his snowball.  Calvin, lying in a pile of snow, says that's the problem with having a signature style. 9,62; 10,190

02/03/90 Calvin aims and throws a snowball.  He's angered when his target says he missed by a mile.  Calvin storms over.  Hobbes is there, and Calvin tells him he's lucky Calvin didn't get that snow blower for Christmas. 9,62; 10,190

02/04/90 Sledding down the hill, Calvin says television validates existence. The sled ride is fleeting and elusive. By tomorrow, they will have forgotten it, and it may as well have not happened. If they were on TV, countless viewers would share in the event and confirm it. This sled ride would become part of mass consciousness. On TV, the impact of an event is determined by the image, not its substance. With strong visuals, their sled ride could make them cultural icons. Instead of being boring ol' Calvin and Hobbes, they could be "Calvin and Hobbes - as seen on TV". They fly off the edge of the hill. Hobbes says at this moment, he likes his anonymity. Calvin thinks they should go for the high-brow public TV audience. 9,68; 10,196

02/05/90 Calvin reads his quiz question.  Joe and Jack leave their homes at the same time, driving toward each other.  One drives 60 mph, the other 30 mph.  They pass in ten minutes.  How far apart were they when they started?  Calvin looks at the paper.  Calvin is in his office, hat on, feet propped up, cigarette in mouth.  He says "It was another baffling case. But then, you don't hire a private eye for the easy ones".  Tracer Bullet is here. 9,65; 10,193

02/06/90 It's Tracer Bullet, Private Eye.  It says so on the door. He planned to take the day off with his buddies.  They travel light and are fun to have around.  One travels in a holster, the other in a hip flask. The last thing he wanted was a case to solve, but the dame who brought it was persuasive.  Miss Wormwood tells Calvin to get to work.  Calvin is sitting at his desk, with his feet up, thinking it would cost her fifty greenbacks a day, plus expenses. 9,65; 10,193

02/07/90 Tracer steps out to the street to review the facts.  Two saps, Joe and Jack, drive toward each other and pass.  Questions pour down like rain.  Who are these mugs?  What are they trying to accomplish?  Why was Jack in such a hurry?  Why does it matter where they started?  He had a hunch that before this was over, he'd be sorry he asked. 9,65; 10,193

02/08/90 Tracer figures he'll try the Derkins dame.  Susie and he had never hit it off, occasionally they hit each other.  Tracer says Susie has a face that suggests someone upstairs has a weird sense of humor.  But he needed information.  He figures she looks pretty smug for a dame with a head for numbers, but not much else.  The question is, will she sing? Susie tells Calvin she will not tell him the answer and to do his own work. 9,66; 10,194

02/09/90 Bullet says the Derkins dame wasn't talking.  Someone had gotten to her and shut her up good.  He knows Susie.  Closing her mouth would have taken some work.  He needed a clue and a drink.  He knew where to find one of them.  Miss Wormwood grabs Calvin and says he's had enough trips to the water fountain.  Tracer says a gorilla pulled him into an alley, squeezed his spine into an accordion, and played a polka on him with brass knuckles. 9,66; 10,194

02/10/90 Tracer's head was exploding with fireworks.  When he came to, the pieces fit together.  Jack and Joe's life were defined by integers. They were in a "numbers" racket.  Back in the office, Tracer pulled the files on numbers big enough to keep Susie quiet and to want him out of the picture.  Calvin answers 1,000,000,000 on his quiz.  Case closed! 9,66; 10,194

02/11/90 Susie stands in the snow saying winter has wrapped the land in a soft, white blanket, and the earth sleeps quietly. Suddenly, she hears yelling coming down the hill. It's Calvin, yelling at Hobbes to lean, yelling "look out below", "mayday", and "bail out". Calvin's sled crashes. He yells at Hobbes for almost getting them killed. They start fighting. Susie walks away, saying that when she grows up, she'll live in the tropics. Hobbes tells Calvin to get the sled out of the tree so they can do it again. Calvin wants to get a siren for the sled. 9,70; 10,198

02/12/90 Calvin comes back inside, telling Mom he missed the bus.  He tells her if she hurries, they can jump in the car, zoom up and pass the bus, drop him at a later stop, and he can ride the bus from there.  Mom is sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee.  Calvin runs up to her asking what she's waiting for.  He tells her to rev up the car.  Calvin, walking down the sidewalk, says Mom's so lazy. 9,69; 10,197

02/13/90 Calvin makes a big snowball.  He makes another and sets it on top the first.  He makes a snowman standing against a tree.  He puts a blindfold on it and a stick in its mouth.  Calvin gets a snowball in his hand and says ready, aim... 9,69; 10,197

02/14/90 Mom tells Calvin it's bedtime.  Calvin asks to watch the next TV program.  Mom tells him he needs his sleep.  Calvin begs for another fifteen minutes of TV watching.  Then he tries asking for ten, and finally five minutes.  Mom tells him to turn off the TV.  Calvin says he'll just watch a few more commercials.  He points out his favorite gum commercial just coming on.  In bed, Calvin guesses that got pretty pathetic. 9,69; 10,197

02/15/90 Eating breakfast, Calvin remembers that it's "show and tell" day.  Mom asks why he can't think of these things more than two minutes before the bus arrives.  Calvin runs off saying he has to take something. As he runs, he sneezes into his hands.  He tells Mom never mind, and he asks if they have any plastic bags.  Mom, sitting reading the newspaper, repeats over and over "I don't want to know". 9,71; 10,199

02/16/90 Calvin and Hobbes are covered with snow, their sled stuck into the ground.  They stomp along, still covered with snow.  They're both frowning as they take their coats off and brush off the snow.  They both stomp along, still frowning.  Hobbes points to the page in the dictionary. He says he told Calvin that starboard is right, and port is left.  Calvin concedes that he was wrong for once in his life and tells Hobbes to shut up. 9,71; 10,199

02/17/90 Calvin throws a snowball, but misses.  He laments his fuzzy mittens.  He complains the snow sticks to them, preventing him from throwing straight.  As he packs another snowball, he says he hates his fuzzy mittens.  If Mom had gotten him padded gloves instead of those mittens....WHAP!  He's hit by a snowball.  Hobbes walks over to the snow-covered Calvin, looks at his paws, and says that his fuzzy mittens have pads. 9,71; 10,199

02/18/90 Spaceman Spiff cruises over Planet Quorg. Our hero explores the peculiar rock formations, looking for life. The rock formations are too peculiar. Spiff suddenly realizes this landscape was not created by geological forces. Spiff hits the thrusters. The formations are footprints. While Spiff was searching for alien life, it was searching for him. Spiff is sure it wanted the earthling for dinner. Calvin sees footprints in the snow, while he hears his name being called to dinner. Calvin runs the opposite way. 9,72; 10,200

02/19/90 Susie happily builds a snowman.  Calvin and Hobbes come rocketing down the hill on their sled.  WUMP!  The snowman goes down the hill on the sled.  Susie, Calvin, and Hobbes are stacked up where the snowman used to be. 9,73; 10,201

02/20/90 Calvin is building a snowman.  He tells Hobbes that any dumb kid can build a snowman, but it takes a genius like him to create art.  He says his snow sculpture transcends corporeal likeness to express deeper truths about the human condition.  His sculpture is about grief and suffering.  He says one look at the tortured countenance of the figure confirms the artist has drunk deeply from the cup of life.  He says his work will endure and will inspire future generations.  As they stand there, the sun starts to melt the snowman. 9,73; 10,201

02/21/90 Hobbes asks if Calvin is making more snow art, since his snowman melted the day before.  Calvin tells him that this time, he's taking advantage of the medium's impermanence.  This sculpture is about transience.  As the snowman melts, it invites the viewer to contemplate the evanescence of life.  It speaks to the horror of our own mortality. Someone yells that it's too warm to build a snowman, and they laugh at Calvin.  Hobbes says there is a philistine on the sidewalk.  Calvin says genius is never understood in its own time. 9,73; 10,201; 14,166

02/22/90 Hobbes asks how Calvin's snow art is coming.  Calvin says he's moved into abstraction.  His piece is about the inadequacy of traditional imagery and symbols to convey meaning in today's world.  By abandoning representationalism, he's free to express himself with pure form.  Specific interpretation gives way to a more visceral response. Hobbes notices Calvin's oeuvre is monochromatic.  Calvin replies that it's just snow. 9,74; 10,202

02/23/90 Calvin asks Dad if he threw a snowball at someone and deliberately missed, would it be "bad".  Dad says that since it would be a little provoking, it would be a little bad.  Not as bad as if you hit the person, but more than if you hadn't thrown it at all.  Calvin then asks how bad it would be if you just grazed the person, or knocked off his hat and glasses.  Dad says that would mean instant death. 9,74; 10,202

02/24/90 Calvin is eating and tells Mom that the pudding was great. He wants to take a bowl upstairs to Hobbes.  Mom says he's had enough. Calvin clarifies that he was going to give it to Hobbes.  Mom says Hobbes doesn't need any pudding.  Mom says tigers need to stay lean and mean. Calvin explains to Hobbes that's what Mom said.  Hobbes checks his torso and says he's lean and mean.  He tells Calvin to tell Mom the chocolate pudding makes his coat lustrous. 9,74; 10,202

02/25/90 Calvin and Hobbes sit by the fireplace. Suddenly, it gets too warm. They dash away from the fire. They lie down and feel the sizzle as they cool off. Back to the fire they go. Calvin says if there's more to life than this, he doesn't know what it is. 9,75; 10,203

02/26/90 Calvin wants to know why he has to go to school.  He asks why he has to learn, why can't he stay the way he is.  He wonders why things have to be this way, why can't they be different.  As Mom pushes him out the door, she says life is full of mysteries.  Calvin realizes that at 7:00 AM, Mom isn't very philosophical. 9,76; 10,204

02/27/90 On the toboggan, Calvin asks if Hobbes is set.  Hobbes is carrying a camera.  Down the hill they go.  Calvin tells Hobbes to get ready.  They smash into a rock and fly into the air.  Calvin yells "Now", and Hobbes snaps the picture.  Coming back up the hill covered with snow, Calvin tells Hobbes it's too bad the camera opened when they landed.  That would have been a great picture. 9,76; 10,204

02/28/90 Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble.  Calvin claims a double-word score.  Hobbes complains that "ZQFMGB" isn't a word.  Calvin tells him it's a worm found in New Guinea.  Hobbes says he's going to look it up.  Calvin says if he does, he's going to look up the 12-letter word Hobbes played with all the X's and J's.  Hobbes asks Calvin what his score for the word is.  Calvin replies "957". 9,76; 10,204

03/01/90 Calvin is watching TV, and Mom tells him he can't watch anymore TV until his homework is finished.  Calvin says it's getting done. Hobbes is reading his book for him.  Calvin explains that he'll watch TV, Hobbes will tell him what the book was about, then Calvin will tell Hobbes what the TV show was about.  They're doing twice as much in the same amount of time.  Calvin walks back into the bedroom.  He tells Hobbes that Mom said Hobbes should watch the TV and Calvin should read the book.  Hobbes says he only likes nature documentaries. 9,77; 10,205

03/02/90 Moe tells Calvin to give him a quarter.  Calvin asks why he should give him his money.  Moe replies it's for the "Let Calvin Live Through Recess Fund".  Calvin digs into his pocket and says that sounds like a worthy cause.  After Moe leaves, Calvin says Moe's motto is "Give Before It Hurts". 9,77; 10,205

03/03/90 Calvin wakes up at night and yells for Mom to bring him a glass of water.  Mom says it's after midnight and that he should get the drink himself.  Calvin replies there are monsters under his bed and that he's scared.  Mom says okay.  Mom turns on the light to bring the water, and Calvin sees Mom with her hair all messed up and eyes partially closed. He is horrified and yells "AAUGH". 9,77; 10,205

03/04/90 Millions of years ago, the "ultrasaurs" wander the earth. Some weigh over 70 tons. Even the vicious allosaurs are no match for these giants. A distant rumbling sends the ultrasaurs into a stampede. It's a Calvinosaurus. Named after the renowned paleontologist who discovered it, the Calvinosaur can eat an ultrasaur in a single bite. Calvin, digging a hole, says he never finds anything. Hobbes thinks it looks like he hit the sewer pipe. 9,78; 10,206

03/05/90 Calvin hands Hobbes a deck of cards.  He says to throw them into the air, and he'll plug the ace of spades.  Hobbes is thrilled to see a shooting trick.  Up the cards go.  BLAM!  BAM!  POW!  ZING!  BLOOIE! BANG!  Hobbes grabs the ace of spades and finds six holes in it.  Calvin tells Hobbes how he did it.  He used a hole puncher ahead of time.  Dad, Mom, and a friend are playing cards.  Dad decides he'll fold.  The friend, holding the ace of spades with six holes in it, asks what's with this deck. 9,79; 10,207