In this chapter, we will explore issues related to living and working ethically in the Druid and indeed all Pagan traditions. I am not saying “you should do this” or “you should not do that,” but instead I am looking at issues in working with anger, hurt, and vengeance, as well as peace and working in service.
Working with Anger, Hurt, and Soul Wounds
Treat others as you would like to be treated. Such a simple phrase, yet so hard to comply with when we’ve been hurt or wounded in any way. Our first reaction is to hurt back, to wound in return. Yet is this how we would like to be treated? What if the person who hurt you didn’t even know that they had? But what if it was completely intentional—is it then justifiable to perpetuate the cycle of hurt? How do we, as Druids, work with anger and soul wounds in today’s society? How do we work with honour?
We don’t really know how the ancient Druids worked with the concepts of honour or revenge. We have an account of how the Druids stood on the shores of their sacred isle at Anglesey, just before the Romans invaded, and called down their magic and their might, black-robed women with wild hair brandishing torches and running between the Druid ranks. What those men and women were doing we just don’t know, but we can be fairly certain that they were protecting their land from invaders. Whether or not their magics would have been invoked without provocation is a total unknown, but here we have an example of defence rather than offense. Boudicca wiped out Colchester and London in retaliation for the rape of her daughters by the Romans after performing divination with a hare (if the hare ran one way, it was favourable, the other way, unfavourable). Whether or not that great queen in history was a Druid or was advised by them is debatable. We know that some ancient bards apparently had the power to cause boils to appear on the faces of those whom they satirised. Did their victim deserve it? And who gave the bards the right to judge and condemn? Some were said to be able to shout loud enough to cause miscarriage in women throughout the land. What would one have to do to provoke the death of innocents? Is this justifiable in any situation?
But that is ancient history, myth, and legend. How do we, as Druids today, work with feelings of anger and the concept of revenge? How do we deal with people hurting us, with our rights being taken away? How does the word “honour” factor into our everyday lives?
It’s difficult, especially when we have such a quick means of communication in our world. Emails and opinions can be shared without a second thought. People can comment, cut down, undermine, say whatever they feel like in the virtual realm, and not really suffer very many consequences in the real world. Governments lie to us outright and have been caught out in their lies and still there is no justice. Even the most kind-hearted person begins to feel the anger and rage boiling within, battling with compassion and love for the world that they live in, for the world they would like to see. How can we deal with these emotions? If someone is attacking us, how do we as Druids protect ourselves and yet find justice? How can we ensure that the balance is maintained?
The first idea that we need to let go of is the idea of revenge. We do not need to hurt someone when they’ve hurt us. We would like to, we might desire to hurt them in response, but we don’t need to in order to continue in our daily lives. We have to work out the difference between our desires and our needs, as with so many other aspects of our lives. It’s perfectly human to want to hurt someone when they’ve hurt us or upset us or someone we love. It’s up to us how we act on those feelings, however. We have to be emotionally responsible.
Pride is an oft maligned trait in the human race. Pride can be the reason many people seek to hurt others, trying to “save face” or avoiding confrontation with those aspects of themselves that they so dislike. Instead they wage a war outside of their inner worlds so that they don’t have to own up to their own shadow selves. Yet pride can also be a good thing. Our pride can be part of our self-respect. In this way, pride will not allow others to walk all over us, but neither does it seek to destroy others who don’t agree with us.
As Druids, we work in service: to the gods, to the ancestors, and to the community. We know that we have to give back, that we have a responsibility in this world to ensure that the ecosystem in which we live is functioning well. A balanced, diverse, healthy ecosystem is where there is a give and take and where relationship is the key matter of the discussion. Those relationships must work together, must find a way to honour each other in order to flow smoothly, to be efficient and benefit the whole. As Druids, it is the whole that concerns us most. The whole is what we work in service to, rather than the self. When we heal the whole, when we work holistically, then we also benefit the self. It’s not altruism, it just is. We must first understand the self, the reasons why we behave the way we do, and in that understanding, we find compassion for others. In finding that compassion, we heal the whole. And the cycle continues …
When we are in positions of power, acts of anger and revenge can be even more devastating to the whole. We must learn how to work honourably with our power, out of self-respect and out of respect for the rest of the world. Without all our relationships, whether they are with other humans, the bees, the mountains, or the rivers, we would simply not exist. We don’t live in a bubble or a vacuum. We need others in order to survive. We must learn to work with others, even if we disagree with them or cannot understand them. When others hurt us, we need to ride the currents of emotion and keep the bigger picture at hand in order to work honourably. We need to let go of our destructive sense of pride and ego and build on the best aspects of both. We need to work from a strong and balanced sense of self and yet be able to let that sense of self go into the light of utter integration for the benefit of the whole.
Wiccan, author, and activist Starhawk writes in her book The Twelve Wild Swans: A Journey to the Realm of Magic, Healing, and Action:
We let go of vengeance out of love and concern for our larger community. To be a true leader, we must be able to look at each of our acts and say, “How will this affect the community? Is it worth dividing the community for me to be proved right? Would I not be destroying the very source of support and healing that I most need?”
And we relinquish revenge because we hold a vision of healing, for ourselves and for the world. … We cannot serve a broad vision by being petty and spiteful.41
If we are to be leaders, priests, or upstanding members in our community, allowing our actions to speak as loudly (if not more) than our words, we need to relinquish forms of revenge and focus instead on healing. We don’t need to make someone look bad, to punish someone, to destroy them or perform character assassinations. We can’t push out people simply because they disagree with us. People will be annoying, will try to pick fights, will be aggressive or antagonistic. We don’t have to respond like for like. If we are to work as Druids in the community, we need to let go of our desire for the above when we are hurt and instead focus on the need for healing in the community as a whole.
This doesn’t mean that we allow people to walk all over us. Whether it’s an individual, a government, or whatever else, we can still stand up for what we believe in. We can speak out against injustices: we can march in protest or start a campaign, raising money and supplies to help those in need. When it becomes personal, we can simply ignore it and get on with our lives, doing the work that needs to be done, having compassion both for ourselves and perhaps even for the person who is antagonising us. We know that work still needs to be done, and getting distracted because of false pride or ego is not helping the whole. We can work with our feelings of anger and injustice and then see where they fit in the grand scheme of things. We can always ask ourselves: will this benefit the whole?
It requires us to look deeply at ourselves first and foremost. When we are able to do that, we can begin to work honourably. We see our own failings and we have compassion for ourselves. We see those same failings reflected in others and we have compassion for them. We know that we live in an extremely damaged world and that perpetuating the hurt and anger will only damage it further. We will stand up for what we believe in. We will speak out against bullies and those who would tout their privilege. We will seek political and social reform. We will endeavour to find the balance, to find a fairer system where the term “justice” actually means something. We will work to nourish and strengthen this planet that we live on, even as it nourishes us. And we will focus on working in relationship with everyone around us, deeply immersed in our own sense of self-respect and honour.
And in doing so, we relinquish the notion of revenge and instead focus on healing for ourselves and for the world. That is the power of the Druid.
The Dark Night of the Soul
Taking care of our thoughts and feelings is essential to maintaining our equilibrium. We have to work with emotional responsibility and take charge of our behaviour rather than letting impulses, reactionary behaviour (which is often improper), and the deluge of other destructive human emotions rule our world. We have to come to know our shadow side, to come to terms with the good and the bad and to feed that which will sustain us and not that which will destroy us. We acknowledge the necessity of destruction, but we need not feed it to our own detriment. We do not ignore negativity but rather work with it in order to better understand our own sense of self, and in doing so, better understand others in the process. We all have destructive and negative thoughts, but what defines us is whether and how we act upon these thoughts. Sometimes it is necessary to work with destruction, but often we do not seek the way in which it will cause the least amount of harm. For us Druids, we need to remember the balance of the whole as we strive toward holistic living and becoming a beneficial and nourishing part of an ecosystem. We have to remember our place within the whole and take responsibility for the role that we play in our life and in the lives of others.
There are far too many people who—knowingly or not—vent their emotions, their failures, their worries, anger, or stress upon others. Let us not be like them: let us not unconsciously or consciously add to the suffering in the world. We have to take a long, deep look at blame: at whom we blame for our emotions, our behaviours. Only when we do so can we begin on the path to emotional responsibility. Certainly, there will be external factors beyond our control, but here in the gentler West, the life that we live is essentially up to us to determine. We’re not suffering the ravages of war or famine for the most part, though poverty is accelerating at an incredible pace and homelessness is a real issue and concern for many around the world. There are also many who may suffer from ill health—physical or mental or both. But in working to take the reins and guide our souls toward integration, we must first of all be willing to do so. We must want health, healing, and wholeness, for it will not happen without our effort. We must work through the dark night of the soul and see the dawn.
We not only have to look at who we are blaming, but also when we blame ourselves for our suffering. That is not to say that we give ourselves a carte blanche and do not take responsibility for suffering that we have caused to ourselves and others. Rather, we acknowledge and then move on from there instead of staying stuck in the well of stagnant waters in our soul.
The world provides us with examples each and every day of how not to be: from world leaders insulting each other over social media, the bad behaviour of colleagues, the trials we endure from friends and family and more. Seek out the darkness within and without and work with it in order to reclaim the energy that lies in the shadow. For it is in the darkness that the seeds wait for the warmth and light of spring. The darkness is nourishing if we allow it to be, if we are able to seek the calmness and centredness necessary before transforming the energy into something that will grow and flourish. In the darkness lies potential. Take a long, deep look at your own self, and in doing so, come to know your own dark night of the soul.
Choices
Choice is often something we don’t we think have. Yet we make hundreds of choices each and every day, from what we are going to eat and what we are going to do to how we are going to interact with the world.
Choice is at the heart of my own personal ethics. I choose whether or not to behave in a certain way. I try to fill my life with intentional behaviour rather than reactionary behaviour. I don’t always succeed, but at least the attempt is there to be conscious of how I am working in the world. When something doesn’t go our way, when someone is mean, rude, or demeaning to us, it is our choice as to how we will respond. We have a personal responsibility that involves this choice, which is centred on this choice.
Yet, often we act like we don’t have a choice. Someone is nasty to us and we are nasty back. Someone cuts us off the road and we flash our lights and get upset for the next fifteen minutes of our journey. Plans don’t work out and we get all in a bother because of that. In these situations, it’s not that we don’t have a choice but that we choose not to acknowledge the fact that we do indeed have a choice. It’s easier to not acknowledge the choice, most of the time, in order to vent off steam at someone or something, to project anger and irritation at something that is totally unrelated. Jung stated that what is unconscious controls us—and this is so very true. When we acknowledge that we do have a choice, we are becoming conscious and our behaviour and lives become so much more intentional rather than reactionary.
I decided a long time ago that I would much rather live an intentional life. Bad things will happen, but it’s in our ability to respond with all our ability or responsibility that shows the kind of person we wish to be. When I had some very trying encounters with people in very emotional and stressful situations, it was entirely my choice as to how to respond. From an integrated, Druidic perspective, I also saw that I had the choice to either prolong or encourage more suffering in the world or step back from that and not allow myself to go down that road, instead working with empathy and compassion to benefit the whole rather than simply satisfy myself. It didn’t mean that I liked the person any more for what they said or did right then and there in that situation, but it did mean that I wasn’t going to exacerbate the situation and create more suffering for myself or for others. I was working with intention, conscious of my response, the reasons for their behaviour, and the reasons why they upset me as well. This made the unconscious conscious and I was able to proceed with complete sovereignty of my own words, thoughts, and actions, as well as my soul.
This personal sovereignty is a large part of Western Paganism. We see it in our myths and legends, in the quest for the grail, in the tales of goddesses and the land itself. When we are able to move through life from a centred and conscious perspective, awake, and aware that we do indeed have choices, then we are coming at life from an angle that makes us indeed a part of the whole, working toward the benefit of the whole. We’re questing that which will make us whole: the holy grail. Relationship is at the heart of Druidry, in that relationship with the world is at the core of everything that we do. We are not separate, we cannot ever be, and what we do affects myriad other forms of life.
So remember that you have a choice. When life gets sticky, take a moment and think about what choices you have. It’s not easy—I’ll be the first to admit that—but with a single breath in a confrontational situation, you can reset your boundaries, come to terms with and remember your sovereignty, and accept that you have a choice in how to respond.
Duty and Service: The Life of a Druid
For me, Druidry is about living a life in service. Many people confuse the word “service” with being subservient: being beneath someone else in a lower position, lowering yourself for others. Service has nothing to do with this and everything to do with using your skills, wit, and intelligence to benefit the world around you. Relationship is at the heart of Druidry, and service to Druidry requires good relationship. There is equality, a give and take, in order to maintain a sustainable relationship. We work to serve the whole: the ecosystem, our community, our families, our ancestors, our gods, our planet. Our work as Hedge Druids is not just for ourselves, even though it may be a solitary path.
To work in service requires an open heart, a sense of duty, and also discipline. Too often when things are rough, people can lay aside their spiritual practice, feeling that they need to do so just in order to survive or that they simply can’t be bothered. When we do this, we are stating that the theory and foundation of our religion or spirituality is just that: a theory. It’s not something that needs to manifest. When something just remains a thought, a theory, then it is completely intangible and unable to create change in the world. At these points in time, when we are stretched to our limits, when we are in pain, when the world seems to be crumbling around us, this is when we need our Druidry the most. We may not feel like doing ritual, but this may be exactly what we need. We may not want to meditate, but again, that may be just what clears up our thoughts in order to proceed, to find the way forward. This is where discipline kicks in, as well as duty. When we just don’t feel like it, we can remember our ancestors, remember their struggles, their fears, their failings, and know that we can do better; we can give back for all that we have received. With relationship at the heart of Druidry, we must learn what we owe to the world and not forget this very important concept. Only then will we truly understand the concept of duty and manifest it in the world, living a life in service.
I am blessed in so many aspects of my life. That is not to say that my lady Brighid does not throw me onto her anvil every now and then and pound the heck out of me, stretching me and reforging me anew. But in service to her, I work with the gifts that she provides me, with the challenges that lie before me, and see them as opportunities to reforge relationships or to understand why they don’t work and walk away. I learn where I can be of service, where my skills and talents lie, and then use them to the best of my ability, living my truth. Above all else, Brighid keeps reminding me to live my truth.
In the midst of despair, when all seems dark, I stop and take a look around. I see the blackbird singing in my garden at sunset, listening to his call that takes me beyond this world and into the Otherworld. I see the deer eating the birdseed that falls from my feeder. I watch the clouds turn from white to gold and then deepest pinks and orange, a wash of colour that delights the eye and feeds the soul. I remember to look for and see the beauty in the world, in the small things and the large. I remember that I am part of an ecosystem and that I have a duty to give back. This gives my life meaning and it is also the meaning of life.
As a Hedge Druid, I walk a life of service. This service provides my life with meaning. I owe it to the land that nourishes me to protect it, to give back for my many blessings. I owe it to my ancestors, without whom I would not be here today. I owe it to my gods, who provide me with such deep inspiration that words cannot even come close to describing my relationship with them. Knowing what I owe, I walk the path of service in perfect freedom; for freedom is found when we release our self-centred perspective and take the whole of nature into our hearts and souls. We are nature.
It’s not just for us. It’s for all existence.
Not again. This time is one time too many. The Hedge Druid fumes, anger radiating from her. Another of her favourite spots has been destroyed, this time it is a hollow way, sacred to the Fair Folk. The trees that formed the hollow have all been cut down so that horses can ride through where the hollow once stood, instead of on the land and the permissive bridleway that the landowner previously agreed to. The shock of the sight brings tears to her eyes. How could someone do such a thing? For over fifty years, the villagers have walked down this hollow, its mystery and magic enchanting all. Now gone, all gone. A curse fills the Hedge Druid’s mind and she opens her mouth to utter it into the late afternoon sunshine. But she stops as the first word leaves her lips. To curse the landowner would be vengeance. To pray for healing and to re-establish the bonds with the Fair Folk are more important. The Hedge Druid reaches into her pocket and pulls out some seeds and herbs as an offering and prays to the Fair Folk. She will come back later, once her emotions are more settled, and think more on what she can do.
41. Starhawk, The Twelve Wild Swans, (Harper One, 2001), 130.