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What did you dream of becoming when you were a teenager? Maybe you wanted to be a doctor, singer, actress, or homemaker. When you’re young, it’s second nature to dream of the things you want to do, the places you want to see, and the people you want to meet. But as you grow older, you understand a little better how the world works, and it’s easy to lower your expectations. Sometimes the dreams of the past get buried in the demands of the present. You have bills to pay, obligations to your family and friends, and a long to-do list that never goes away. Doing what you love seems more like a luxury than a realistic goal.
Ask yourself this simple and clarifying question: Do you love your life and career (your career might be homemaking or retirement)? I’m not talking about a fantasy world where you love every single part of your job and enjoy every single minute of each day. Of course there will be aspects of your job you dread, and moments in many days when you wish you could go back to bed. But for the most part, do you love what you are doing right now?
When my friend Mary asked herself that question, the answer was no. I met Mary through my husband, who had the honor of being a personal business coach to Mary and her husband, Don. Mary is a cancer survivor, so she’s one tough lady with a very tender heart. Before going into real estate, Mary and Don developed five long-term care facilities for the elderly. Years later those facilities were bought and staff was rearranged, so Mary and Don decided to take a big leap and venture into real estate. Entrepreneurs by nature, they did very well with their new career as real estate agents. But Mary could never shake a nagging thought—she really missed working with the elderly and having an impact on families at such a personal level.
So after eight years of working in real estate, Mary took the plunge and made a career move in her fifties. She went back to work at the same assisted-living facility she left years earlier, and she loves it. Since it can be incredibly difficult to make a career move as you grow older, I asked Mary for some advice. She said, “I encourage someone to take her time because it’s a big decision to leave a secure job and move to something different. But you do have to follow your passion. If you are passionate about what you do, it will work.”21
Because I’m five foot ten, I was constantly asked in high school if I played basketball. Although I had the height for it, I had absolutely no interest in basketball. Instead, I loved doing yearbook, student council, and cheerleading. I suppose I could have learned to play basketball, but it would have been short lived because my heart wasn’t in it.
Maybe you’re doing a job you’re equipped to do, but you’re not passionate about it. You spend time in the office, but you dream of investing time in something you really care about. Some days you feel like a ballerina on a football field. Do you want to make a career change, and if so, what’s holding you back?
Barrier 1: I’m not qualified to do anything else.
Solution: Make a list of the skills you have mastered in your current job. You’ll probably be surprised at the transferrable skills you already possess.
Barrier 2: I don’t take risks.
Solution: Look before you leap. Research new opportunities thoroughly and interview people who are doing what you’re interested in. If possible, shadow this person for a day to observe his or her routines. Don’t quit your current job before securing a new job or having enough in savings to cover a few months of unemployment.
Barrier 3: I’m not an expert in the field I’m interested in.
Solution: Become an expert slowly but surely. If you are passionate about the subject, it will be enjoyable to learn more about your field of interest. Check out books from the library, subscribe to related magazines, attend seminars, use the Internet, interview people in the field, and volunteer your time to learn more. Set aside time each day to expand your knowledge. Your perseverance will make you an expert, but it won’t happen overnight.
Barrier 4: It’s too late.
Solution: Remember, Mary was in her fifties when she changed careers. Valerie Ramsey, author of Gracefully: Looking and Being Your Best at Any Age, launched a career in modeling at age 63. It’s never too late unless you decide it is.
Maybe you don’t have a clear picture of your ideal career, but you feel dissatisfied in your current role. Have you written a personal mission statement lately? A personal mission statement is a brief description of what you want to be and accomplish in your life. It’s a tall order to formulate, but once you have something written down, it will make your decisions a lot easier. Having clear purpose in life is a huge factor in looking and feeling younger.
Stephen Covey said it well: “We don’t invent our missions; we detect them.”22 Observe your attitudes and behavior during the week. What makes you feel alive and lights your fire? What bores you and saps your strength?
Hyrum Smith is the originator of the time-management system, the Franklin Planner. In his book, What Matters Most: The Power of Living Your Values, he shows readers how to discover what matters most and how to act on those values:
Perhaps the most excruciating kind of pain comes from the gap—in some instances a wide chasm—between what we really value and what we are doing. This occurs when we realize that we are not living up to our potential or, even worse, that what we are doing doesn’t match or is completely in opposition to what we really value, to what matters most to us…Wake up each morning and ask yourself, “What am I going to do today to close the gap between what I am doing and what really matters most to me?”23
If you’ve ever visited Bermuda, you might be familiar with a man named Johnny Barnes. In 1983, Johnny was in his sixties, working as a driver and repairman at the bus depot. He got a crazy idea of how he could greet strangers and show them God’s love. He stood at a roundabout in his hometown in Bermuda and began calling out to everyone he saw, “Good morning! God bless you!” People thought he was nuts, but morning after morning, he stood at that roundabout blowing kisses and smiling to commuters and pedestrians.
More than 25 years later, Johnny Barnes is still blowing kisses at that roundabout from roughly 3:45 a.m. to 10:00 a.m., five days a week. Today he is a legend and icon of hospitality in Bermuda. In a country where millionaires and billionaires are commonplace, Johnny Barnes is the only man honored with a statue in Bermuda. The 6½-foot tall bronze statue overlooks the entrance of East Broadway, honoring the simple man with the straw hat and infectious smile.24 As a Christian, Johnny has prayed with countless people and shown the love of Christ in an unusual and memorable way.
Could you stand on a corner and blow kisses to strangers for six hours a day? Probably not, and that’s okay. Johnny Barnes does it because he loves it. What would you love to do? (It’s okay if it’s a little crazy.)
Thought for Rejuvenation
Complete this sentence: Someday I’d like to…
Act of eXpression
Write a personal mission statement or read yours if you already have one. Here are a few questions to help you craft your mission statement:
• What do you imagine your life’s mission to be about?
• If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do?
• What are your natural talents and gifts?
• What do you love doing at work?
• What do you love doing in your personal life?
• Complete this sentence. I feel strongest when…
Begin your personal mission statement with words such as:
• I will…
• I can…
• I am…
My purpose is…