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I have never liked getting a foot massage. It tickles! But James loves them. When we were dating, he would ask me to take my shoes and socks off so he could massage my feet. I thought that was horrendous. First of all, I didn’t want him smelling my stinky feet. Then, I certainly didn’t want him touching them. It was torture by tickling. I tried to avoid his requests as much as possible, and it wasn’t until we were married that I realized why he kept offering to rub my feet. He wanted me to massage his feet in return. That never dawned on me. “Do unto others” meant I would never touch his feet because I didn’t want mine touched. To James, “Do unto others” meant, “If I massage her feet, someday she’ll return the favor.”
Now that we’re married, he doesn’t try to massage my feet, and I’m happy to massage his. After a stressful day, a five-minute foot massage seems to work wonders for James. Doing something you find relaxing has many benefits, including lower blood pressure, improved cardiovascular health, and a better night’s sleep.
Do you set aside a few minutes each day to relax and allow yourself to calm down? Part of staying young is your ability to remain calm, no matter what life throws you. You’ve certainly seen the opposite—the woman who nervously goes through life, always stressed or worried about something that’s hanging over her head. Too much stress not only strips your soul of peace; it causes all sorts of problems for your mind and body.
Research shows that stress hormones such as cortisol block weight loss. When you’re stressed, your body interprets that as a type of famine and hoards all the fat it can. Stress is also hard on the brain, interrupting healthy processes such as learning or memory.17 For instance, one area of your brain called the hippocampus is responsible for memory. Chronic stress weakens the hippocampus; no wonder you feel scatterbrained when you’re really stressed.
So how can you combat stress in your life? Try engaging every day in relaxing rituals that are meaningful to you. Exercise is always a great destressor, whether you’re walking, stretching, or weight lifting. Meditating on God’s Word will calm the fiercest of storms. I know that Proverbs 3:5-6 served as an anchor for me during a tumultuous time.
When I was 20-weeks pregnant with my second child, I read a devotional from Proverbs 3:5-6, a familiar and favorite passage:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
I felt the Lord tug on my heart, “Hang on to this verse today. It’s special for you.” That day was the highly anticipated ultrasound date when James and I would find out if we were having a boy or a girl. My in-laws were visiting from out of town for Thanksgiving, and the mood was festive—until we were in the radiology office. The ultrasound technician was very serious, somewhat of a killjoy, and strangely quiet. We found out we were having a girl and were sent home.
A few hours later, my doctor called. “Arlene, I hate to tell you this, but your baby has serious chromosomal defects and she isn’t going to make it. She will probably die in the womb in the next few days. I’d really like you to go to the specialist today for a detailed ultrasound so you don’t have to go through the entire Thanksgiving weekend not knowing.”
I never imagined hearing those words, but a wave of peace came over me. Trust in the LORD…The specialist confirmed that my baby’s heart would stop beating within days, maybe one to two weeks at the most. That was very hard news to hear the day before Thanksgiving. I struggled with what I should say when acquaintances asked about the baby. At church that weekend, I went forward for prayer and found great comfort in my sorrow. God had always been faithful to me in the past; certainly He would be faithful now. Trust in the LORD…
One week went by, and then another, and my little girl’s heart kept on beating. In my prayers, I asked God for one of three things:
1. Take my baby home to be with You.
2. Heal my baby.
3. Give us grace to raise a baby with special needs.
The hardest part was waiting. What would happen to our family? Six weeks later, her heart was still beating, to the doctor’s amazement. She was still with us on Christmas Day. But a few days later, she was gone.
Unfortunately, the story didn’t end there. I still had to deliver that precious baby. Trust in the LORD…The day I was scheduled to be induced, I started labor naturally. It was a physically and emotionally difficult delivery, but God’s presence was thick in that hospital room. I knew God was watching over me, singing words of comfort while I labored for a child that had been lost.
I never saw that little girl, who we named Angel Rose. The doctor suggested it would be better not to see her, and we agreed. But my family did receive a photograph of her feet, and her tiny footprints in clay. Those have become the most precious reminders of God’s nearness during our time of brokenness.
We held a memorial service at the beach for Angel Rose with a few close friends and family members. I read a letter to her and said goodbye. Our eyes gazed up at the blue sky as a bouquet of balloons rose to the heavens, a visual reminder of our little girl’s new home.
I can honestly say my memories of Angel Rose are all sweet. In her short life, she taught me to trust in God as I never have before. She taught me to be thankful for each day of life. On what would have been her due date, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. Nine months later, I gave birth to a healthy girl named Noelle Joy. The previous Christmas I said goodbye to a little girl, and just one Christmas later, I was holding another in my arms. Trust in the LORD…
Since that time, God has used Angel Rose’s story to encourage many moms who have experienced miscarriage and stillbirth. I even had the opportunity to share Angel’s story on The Hour of Power with Dr. Robert Schuller.18 It just goes to show God stands ready to use your darkest times as a testimony of His ability to give supernatural grace, if you’ll let Him.
If you need help during stressful times, cry out to God and He will deliver you. Take a few minutes daily in prayer or by listening to your favorite worship music to let go of your stress. It’s easy to remain calm, no matter what happens, when you know God is on your side.
Thought for Rejuvenation
Meditate on Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Act of eXpression
What is something that calms you down? A walk around the block? A massage? Soft music? Prayer? Reading? Playing the piano? Journaling? Set aside five minutes today to do something relaxing for yourself.