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You’ve heard of “death by chocolate,” but have you ever heard of “death by destination”? It’s a phrase I like to use to represent what happens when you arrive at a goal, only to stop growing. It happens when you’ve reached the top of the corporate ladder and you switch on the cruise control. It happens when you feel stuck in your circumstances and ambivalent about the future. It happens when your kids are grown and gone, and you find yourself staring at an empty calendar.
Marcia Ramsland remembers when her youngest child graduated from college and all three of her children were out of the house. For 28 years, she poured her heart and soul into parenting. She had achieved her life goals: raising her children and publishing her book, Simplify Your Life: Get Organized and Stay That Way. She wondered what was next. Have you ever wondered the same thing?
Marcia decided to give the rest of her days to the Lord. An organizer by nature, she couldn’t imagine what a 20- or 30-year plan would look like. She decided to focus on something until her next zero birthday, which happened to be 60. Her strength is speaking and writing, so she told the Lord she would speak wherever He wanted.
After that prayer, the Lord uprooted her and her husband from San Diego to Dallas. In Dallas, she got involved in a group called Women in Christian Media, wrote a second book, organized a large church staff, and began speaking at Lifestyles Conferences. God had taken her prayer seriously and was using her to speak and write. But to her surprise, within 14 months, she was headed back to San Diego.
Happy to be back, Marcia helped establish a Women in Christian Media group on the West Coast, plus she continues to write books and speak. But like most of us, Marcia experiences seasons when there are more opportunities than minutes in the day, and then other seasons, when nothing seems to be happening at all. Marcia says,
Whenever you’re in a lull in life ask yourself, What do I need to do to get ready so if someone called up and said “I want you to write a book, you’re going to be on Oprah, or I want you to take a six-month sabbatical,” you would say, “Okay, I’m ready” because you have prepared in the in-between time of life. That’s what it’s all about, following the Lord every day and saying, “Here’s my life, what’s next?”23
Women have so many opportunities that Marcia encourages women to take time each September to ask a simple question: Do I want to be doing this same thing next year? If the answer is no, then begin making changes in your career or activities to reflect your heart’s desire. Add new activities to your life, hang around young people, and pour into younger women coming up behind you. In so doing, Marcia says your energy will be revitalized.24
Television news is a tough business characterized by turnover, yet veteran anchor Carol LeBeau managed to stay at one station in San Diego for 28 years. After anchoring the news for ABC affiliate KGTV, Carol turned in her press pass for retirement. As you can imagine, there were days when the transition was tough.
“People point to me in public and say, ‘Ooh, lady on the news,’” LeBeau says. “They can’t think of my name, but they know I’m the lady on the news. I’m not the lady on the news anymore.”
The week after her retirement, Carol was emceeing an event where she was asked to introduce herself. For the first time in decades, she didn’t know what to say. She ended up saying to the crowd, “I used to work at Channel 10 news, but I guess for tonight I am a child of God and the proud wife of a retired Navy pilot.”
Shortly afterward, Carol had orthopedic surgery, so in a matter of months she was stripped of two things she once found her identity in: her position and physical fitness. As a strong believer in Christ, Carol has held on to the Scripture that’s engraved on her bracelet, “Lo, I am with you always.” She says,
It doesn’t matter what your transition, other people have gone through it before you. If you can talk yourself down from the ledge and say, “Wait a minute. Are you going to be the first person in the universe to work at a job for 400 years or have kids that don’t grow up and start their own families?” No. This is part of the cycle of life. The notion that the world isn’t going to spin on its axis without me is foolish, prideful, and just plain silly. You’ve got to be open to God for what He has next.25
Olympic athlete and mother of six, Beverly Buffini, knows a lot about moving toward new goals. She writes in her book, I Can, I Will, I Believe:
Set goals for yourself and write them down on paper. I have witnessed and experienced first-hand the startling effectiveness of this simple procedure. Make your goals realistic and reachable, but not necessarily small. I will teach my children how significant it is to set goals, and I will encourage them to keep their sights on their GREAT BIG AUDACIOUS GOALS. But I will also make sure they know that true wealth or success in life is found along the way…The reward comes in searching and expecting and working hard at it, as if trying to find a hidden treasure.26
The Christian life should be characterized by a zeal for good works and personal growth. Don’t be content to sit on the sidelines because you feel your best days are behind you. Keep pressing forward and allow the Holy Spirit to give you power for fresh creation instead of falling asleep on the bench. Ulrich Zwingli, the leader of the Protestant Reformation in Switzerland, said, “Our confidence in Christ does not make us lazy, negligent, or careless; but on the contrary, it awakens us, urges us on, and makes us active in living righteous lives and doing good.”27
Are you ready for whatever God has for you next?
Imagine it’s your ninetieth birthday. What kind of tribute would you like to hear? What accomplishments do you want mentioned? What character traits do you want to be known for?
Act of eXpression
What might the next step be for you? Do one thing this week to prepare yourself for this new challenge or activity.