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Recently I was in an elevator at a department store with my two young children. A young 20-something male employee stood sullenly inside the elevator. With a big smile on my face, I prompted my oldest to ask him how his day was going. Without looking up, the employee mumbled, “This is my second job today.” I empathized, and then said brightly, “At least you have work.” The elevator doors opened and he shuffled out lazily, never making eye contact or smiling at us once.
The encounter actually made me giggle as I whispered to my son, “Boy, he was very grumpy.” I wanted to take advantage of that teachable moment because I don’t want my children to grow up to be sulky 20-year-old employees. The most important thing my kids can wear isn’t bought with money—it’s a smile.
Most likely you’ve seen a well-dressed, stylish, fit older woman wearing a very sour expression. A smile makes all the difference in the world, doesn’t it? It’s the cheapest and easiest way to improve your looks instantly. A smile is contagious, crossing all races and languages. It has the power to transform the plainest woman into a noticeable beauty.
Mother Teresa said, “Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”41 An unknown author said, “A smile confuses an approaching frown.” That’s truly been the case with author and speaker Thelma Wells. Life gave her many reasons to frown, yet she has learned how to turn that frown upside down.42
There wasn’t even a proper name on her birth certificate. Baby Girl Morris was born to an unwed teenage mother who was kicked out of her house. Later this baby was named Thelma and often left with her grandmother, who would lock little Thelma in a dark, smelly, insect-infected closet for hours. Thankfully, Thelma had other relatives—great-grandparents—who loved her and taught her about Jesus. At the age of four, Thelma accepted Jesus and learned how to sing praises to God when locked in that dark closet.
“I would get out of the closet and I had no trauma, no confusion, no bitterness,” Thelma said. “God met me as a little girl at the point of my need and covered me with protection. When I got out of the closet, I was able to smile.”
Because of God’s deep joy in her heart, Thelma Wells grew up to beat the odds, becoming the first black woman to become an assistant vice president of a commercial bank, a popular Women of Faith conference speaker for 12 years, and author of numerous books, such as Don’t Give In…God Wants You to Win. Today, Thelma is 68 and not slowing down. She’s launched her own Ready to Win conferences where she shows women how to live in victory as children of God. She’s affectionately called “Mama T.”
Mama T loves to say, “Baby, I love to smile.” When you smile, you release feel-good, painkilling endorphins and serotonin in your body. A smile has been proven to lower your blood pressure, boost your immune system, and lower stress levels. No wonder it says in Proverbs 17:22 that “a cheerful heart is good medicine.”
Smiling makes you attractive and more youthful. My mom loves to smile, so it’s no surprise that people enjoy her company. You want to be near people who smile because joy is contagious and life-giving. If you’re a wife and/or mother, you have a responsibility to create an atmosphere of joy in the home. Thelma Wells says, “You cannot create an atmosphere of joy if you are frowning, fussing, screaming, yelling, putting people down, and being a perfectionist.”
Maybe you’ve had a rough life or you’re going through a hard time right now (those crazy hot flashes) and you find it difficult to smile. When Thelma was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, she didn’t feel like smiling very much. “I started griping, whining, and behaving like a victim,” Thelma admitted. After a season of being miserable, God spoke to her in her spirit.
“He told me to stop being stupid. Preach to yourself and live what you preach. He asked me, ‘Do you know who you are? Do you know who I am? I am the God who suffered, bled, and died for you. I got up from the grave with the keys to your situation in My hand. Take these keys and walk through the door.’”
After the Lord spoke to her, Thelma found her smile and her song once again. She says that smiling isn’t a result of everything going right. She’s experienced her share of disappointments and brokenness. She’s been wrongfully accused, betrayed by friends, and overwhelmed by grief. But she says, “Because we are fearfully and reverently made, according to Psalm 139:13-17, God has placed in each one of us the ability to smile.”
Smiling is your most powerful weapon in your anti-aging arsenal. You can be thin and grumpy and you’ll still look old. But a genuine smile covers a multitude of flaws and makes you look young. Plus smiling is a great way to keep wrinkles away. At 68 years old, Thelma Wells doesn’t have wrinkles, not because of a fancy anti-aging skin serum but because of that trademark smile.
The next time you’re in front of a mirror, try this experiment. Frown and notice what it does to your face. See the wrinkles on your forehead, under your eyes, and around your mouth. Then smile and feel how your face instantly relaxes and unwrinkles itself. It takes your muscles more work to frown than to smile, so take the easy road and smile.
Earlier I shared a story about teaching my two-year-old daughter to smile. Even when she’s not in a happy mood, I can say, “Show me your smile,” and she’ll fake a little smile. Sure it’s not sincere, but it is a start. Usually within a few minutes, her whiny voice is gone and she’s back to her cheerful self. Like my daughter Noelle, you can fake a smile too, and before long, it will be the genuine article. By forcing a smile, you can trick your body into believing all is well, reducing stress and tension. It’s like flipping a switch; smiling can actually elevate your mood.
Let’s see those pearly whites. Why don’t you try a smile right now?
BEAUTY TIP
To brighten teeth, use a teaspoon of baking soda with one or two drops of hydrogen peroxide. Brush it on and let it sit for a few minutes, and then rinse. Be sure not to swallow the paste. Also, remember to floss daily, have regular dental check-ups, and use good brushing habits, which will brighten your smile. Don’t smoke or drink too much coffee or tea to prevent staining your teeth.
Thought for Rejuvenation
Complete this sentence: I can smile because…
Act of eXpression
Be conscious of your facial expressions today. Do you smile when you see others? Do you smile when you’re home alone? Make a conscious effort to smile often today, even if you don’t feel like it.