RECIPE FOR DISASTER

1 brown pillowcase

2 cans 20W20 motor oil

1 DVD William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet

2 pony tails

1 1854 edition of Leaves of Grass

6 matching leatherette banquettes (beige)

3 sarcastic innuendos

13 nightingales

4 oil paint sticks (ochre)

∞ resignation

1 tube tanning oil

Play DVD chapter 3 in loop while grinding Leaves of Grass with the innuendos. Soak pony tails in motor oil and shake gently over banquettes. Let motor oil sink in then apply tanning oil by hand. Garnish with pillowcase and paint sticks. Release nightingales.