CONTENTS
Cover
ALSO BY P. J. O’ROURKE
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
Introduction
Selections From …
Modern Manners (1983, revised edition 1989)
What Are Manners?
The Fundamentals of Contemporary Courtesy
Important People
The Bachelor Home Companion (1987, revised edition 1993)
We Are All Bachelors Now
How I Became a Bachelor Housewife
Bachelor Entertaining
Republican Party Reptile (1987)
Myths Made Modern
Ship of Fools
How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink
A Cool and Logical Analysis of the Bicycle Menace
The King of Sandusky, Ohio
Holidays in Hell (1988)
A Ramble through Lebanon
Among the Euro-Weenies
At Sea with the America’s Cup
Seoul Brothers
The Holyland—God’s Monkey House
Third World Driving Hints and Tips
Parliament of Whores (1991)
Preface
The Mystery of Government
The Winners Go to Washington, D.C.
Agricultural Policy
At Home in the Parliament of Whores
Give War a Chance (1992)
The Death of Communism
Return of the Death of Communism
Dispatches from the Gulf War
All the Trouble in the World (1994)
Multiculturalism
Famine
Environment
Plague
Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut (1995)
A Few Thoughts on Humor and Humorists
The Welsh National Combined Mud Wrestling and Spelling Bee Championship
Fly-Fishing
Bird Hunting
Deep-Sea Fishing
Golf
Eat the Rich (1998)
Love, Death, and Money
Bad Capitalism
Bad Socialism
From Beatnik to Business Major
How to Make Nothing from Everything
How to Make Everything from Nothing
Eat the Rich
The CEO of the Sofa (2001)
“It’s a Person!”
Kid Pro Quo
What You Learn from Having Kids
Summer
35th Anniversary of Elaine’s Restaurant
Venice vs. Vegas
Blind (Drunk) Wine Tasting
The Memoir
Excuses for Republicans
Unpublished Introduction to the 25th Anniversary Edition of Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Peace Kills (2004)
Why Americans Hate Foreign Policy
Kosovo
Israel
9/11 Diary
Kuwait and Iraq
On The Wealth of Nations (2007)
An Inquiry into An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations
The Wealth of Nations, Book 1
The Wealth of Nations, Book 2
Driving Like Crazy (2009)
Sgt. Dynaflo’s Last Patrol
A Better Land than This
Reincarnation
Big Love
Don’t Vote—It Just Encourages the Bastards (2010)
Politics Makes Us Free—And We’re Worth It
A Digression on Happiness
The Purgatory of Freedom and the Hell of Politics
Taxes
More Taxes
Why I’m Right
Holidays in Heck (2011)
Introduction
Republicans Evolving
A Horse of a Different Color
A Journey to … Let’s Not Go There
The Seventy-Two-Hour Afghan Expert
The Baby Boom (2014)
Prologue
In the Doldrums of Fun
The Prelude
Ripeness Is All
Big Damn Messy Bundle of Joy
Acknowledgments
Back Cover