Young people may be more supportive of equality in some areas (for example, they will support women’s equal right to education), but are also more likely to endorse men dominating decision-making in relationships. People aged 16 to 24 have a lower level of understanding of violence against women than those who are older, and are also more likely to excuse it, and 61 per cent of young people say a woman could leave a violent relationship if she wanted—this is 14 points higher than for the 35 to 65-year age group.23 The ‘boys club’ or ‘bro code’ is alive and well: nearly a quarter of men aged 12 to 20 years believe that males who take on a more dominant role in a relationship gain more respect from their friends.24
Work carried out by ‘The Line’, a national online campaign for people aged 12 to 20, shows that although young people still have some trouble understanding what constitutes a respectful relationship, there is positive attitudinal change occurring. Young people’s attitudes in relation to victim-blaming, non-physical forms of violence and the rejection of male control have improved significantly in the past few years. More young people understand that it’s not a girl’s fault if she is sexually harassed or disrespected, regardless of whether she has had a drink or what clothes she chooses to wear.
But there are concerning attitudes among 12 to 20-year-olds around the issues of sexual consent and pressure for sex. Almost 60 per cent of young people believe that if a guy wants to have sex with a girl and the girl does not want to, it is up to the girl to make it very clear she does not consent.
Young people’s understanding of the drivers of gendered violence are growing, but we are only just beginning to assess the impact of digital technology, including ‘sexting’ and pornography, on young people. Violence on our screens is ubiquitous, and parents now bond over their shared despair about addictive online games such as Fortnite. What we do know is that children’s and young people’s exposure to pornography is pervasive and influences their attitudes to sex and relationships. Of the most popular pornography, 88 per cent of scenes include physical aggression, and overwhelmingly (in 94 per cent of cases, according to a 2010 study led by US psychologist Ana Bridges) this aggression is directed towards female performers.
I am hardly a puritan, but when I quipped on ABC TV’s Q&A in early 2015 that books such as Fifty Shades of Grey have done us no favours, I meant it, in spite of the social media backlash. Journalist Lisa Wilkinson called the first Fifty Shades movie ‘domestic violence dressed up as erotica’. Popular cultural references to ‘blurred lines’ (as in the 2012 international hit song by Robin Thicke) or ‘shades of grey’ when discussing sex and relationships do young people no favours, either.
I like Saxon Mullins’ idea of clarity. She’s called for ‘enthusiastic consent’, and ‘if you don’t think you have that, then you’re not good to go’. Mullins is a hero of our times. Her case is an awful one: she alleged she was raped in an alley outside a Sydney nightclub by 21-year-old Luke Lazarus, who she’d met four minutes earlier. Initially, Lazarus was found guilty by a jury of sexual intercourse without consent and sentenced to five years’ jail. On appeal, he was out of prison within eleven months, granted a retrial with a judge, and acquitted. The judge said, ‘Whether or not she consented is but one matter. Whether or not the accused knew that she was not consenting is another.’ This murky territory needs clearing up, and thanks to Mullins’ bravery in speaking on camera on ABC TV’s Four Corners in May 2018 and giving a face to sexual assault, the New South Wales government has referred the state’s consent laws to the NSW Law Reform Commission.
Sometimes, both laws and attitudes need an overhaul. According to ANROWS’ 2017 national community attitudes survey, a third of Australians believe rape results from men not being able to control their need for sex; one in five believes that if a woman is raped while drink- or drug-affected then she bears responsibility for the rape; and one in six believes women say no when they mean yes.
Is it any wonder young women don’t feel safe in their communities? They tell us they feel the need to change their own behaviour and stay at home in order to remain safe. Some girls (17 per cent) believe clothing choices make them at least partly responsible for unwanted attention or harassment. Young women and girls consider public spaces unsafe, particularly after dark, even though statistics highlight that they are more at risk of violence at home and at the hands of someone they know.25
When 22-year-old comedian Eurydice Dixon was murdered on her way home from a comedy club in June 2018, a tidal wave of anger burst through the Australian community. The shock and sadness about this young woman’s death was compounded by the desecration of her memorial and by callous police comments. Victoria Police urging people to ‘have situational awareness, [be] aware of your surroundings, and make sure that people know where you are’ was met with an instant backlash. Journalist Nina Funnell wrote, ‘Telling women to have “situational awareness” is deeply unhelpful because it assumes that women aren’t already constantly micromanaging their own safety in a bid to forward manage the poor behaviour of some men.’26 The Queen Victoria Women’s Centre posted on Facebook: ‘Women are instructed to own their personal safety, while society ignores the actual problem: that women are constantly attacked by people they know or strangers.’
Women are constantly aware of their situation and surroundings. We learn early that we need to be conscious of who and what are around us. I’ve yet to meet a woman who doesn’t hold her car keys in her hand at night or take other precautions to feel safe. Situational awareness is instinctive. What we can’t control is the behaviour of men. I long for the day when we are free from violence and the fear of violence.
When I was an undergraduate student and women’s officer at the University of Adelaide in 1989, the first student who came to me for help was a young woman who’d just been raped on campus. Prior to that, my focus had been on establishing ‘Blue Stocking Week’ (celebrating women in education) and ensuring there were free sanitary products available for women at the university. Her experience crystallised my priorities and exposed the shadowy environment of universities at that time. I organised self-defence classes and tried literally shining a light on campus with a safety audit at my alma mater and nearby. My friend Kathy and I took officials around the university and pointed out blind spots, poor lighting and unsafe areas. Back then, the concept of prevention was nascent.
The following year, as campus president, I saw some of the best and worst parts of university life, including a statewide debate about sexism at university colleges (St Mark’s College made front-page news for its antiquated and sexist practices) and dealing with a request from the then women’s officer, Annabel Crabb, to shut down an Orientation Week stall that was displaying fake foetuses in jars to protest against abortion (the student responsible for that stunt went on to be a government minister for health and science). But it is the murder of 18-year-old Adelaide University student Allison Nitschke in 1991 that I and many others will never forget and that propels us to work for change.
Recently, Universities Australia and the Australian Human Rights Commission carried out the world’s first national survey on university student experiences of sexual assault and sexual harassment. The results revealed some realities of campus life today, especially at residential colleges, and has seen universities embrace the concept of prevention.