Index

ableism, 12, 291

action-requiring neurological programs, 59–64, 84, 89, 295

activism, 41–42, 146, 267–280, 282

ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), 56, 190, 223

affective empathy, 24, 35, 293

affirmations, 123–125

The Age of Empathy: Nature’s Lessons for a Kinder Society (de Waal), 294, 299

ageism, 12

altruism, 289–290

ambivalence, 78

ambivalent friends, 177

anger, 7–8, 45, 58, 190, 225, 232, 234–236, 275, 283, 297

activism and, 269–270

bullying and, 239–242

channeling of, 68–70

contentment and, 74–75, 79

Defining Your Boundaries with, 69, 73, 84, 90–92, 98, 111–114, 193–194

empathic definition of, 62, 63, 73, 84, 90–93

expression and repression of, 67–68, 71

in flowchart, 97–98

in emotion play, 225, 232

in empathic communication, 193–194

secondhand, 79–80

weasel words for, 201

Angry Amanda, 255

anorexia nervosa, 152

antipathy, 24, 273

antisocial emotions, 64–65, 70–71

antisocial personality, 22, 36, 37, 163, 167, 291–292

anxiety, 14, 45, 58, 76–77, 92, 170, 252, 284, 296

activism and, 268–269

aggravated by stillness meditation, 57

channeling your emotions and, 135–136, 225

Conscious Questioning for, 135–136, 195, 203, 224–225

empathic definition of, 75, 85–86

in emotion play, 232

in empathic communication, 195

procrastination and, 75, 85–86, 132–136, 195, 252

reframing, 131–136

shyness and phobias and, 236–238

stress and, 199

weasel words for, 202

see also worry

apathy, 23

empathic definition of, 84–85

in emotion play, 232

in empathic communication, 194

weasel words for, 201

see also boredom

Are You the One for Me? (De Angelis), 176–179, 300

Ariely, Dan, 271, 298, 301

artistic expression, 144–147, 243–244

Einfühlung and, 144–145, 186, 282

asexual. See GLBTAQ.
Attention (emotional style dimension), 56–57

compatibility with loved ones and, 170, 172

empathic mindfulness skills and, 106, 111, 116, 121, 126

shyness and phobias and, 237

therapeutic suggestions for, 288

attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), 56, 190, 223

aura, 109

autism spectrum, 22, 31, 190, 273, 281, 290–291

Concern for Others and, 37

Einfühlung and, 24–25

Emotion Contagion and, 31

enforced eye contact and, 223

hyperempathy and, 22, 37, 163, 221–224, 236, 290, 292, 293

self-soothing and, 219–224

sensory hyperawareness and, 223–224, 236, 290

stims and, 223–224

tantrum-like behaviors and, 236

autistic, identity-first usage, 22, 290–291

babies and empathy development, 39–40, 108–109, 167, 213–220, 291–292, 294

Begley, Sharon, 53, 287, 299, 301

Beyoncé, 160
Bischof-Köhler, Doris, 29, 108–109, 130, 166, 290, 292

bisexual. See GLBTAQ.

Blakeslee, Matthew, 109, 299, 301

Blakeslee, Sandra, 109, 299, 301

bodhisattva, 23

bodily–kinesthetic intelligence, 50

The Body Has a Mind of Its Own (Blakeslee and Blakeslee), 109, 299, 301

body language, 5, 10, 28, 33, 46, 188–189, 222, 292

borderline personality, 22, 291

boredom, 84, 194, 201, 285

see also apathy

Born for Love: Why Empathy is Essential – and Endangered (Perry and Szalavitz), 214, 300

boundary definition, 90–91, 108–114, 128–131, 142, 165

anger and, 69, 73, 84, 90–92, 98, 193–194

bullying and, 240–242

for children, 225–226, 227

rejuvenation practice and, 126–127

tantrums and, 234–235

thresholds and, 157–161

see also Defining Your Boundaries

boys and empathy, 19–22, 37, 228–230, 281, 290

Bratman, Stephen, 152, 297

Breithaupt, Fritz, 298

broccoli and Goldfish crackers study, 39–40, 294

bullying, 51, 229, 239–242

contentment and, 198, 233, 240–242

workplace and, 254

Burning Contracts, 114–119, 130, 172–173, 176

caveat about use with children, 227

emotion work and, 251

guilt and, 74, 194

hatred and, 85, 194–195

shame and, 74, 194

see also contract burning

Burton, Robert, 94, 301

channeling your emotions, 68–71, 114–118, 120–123

aggression and, 242

anger and, 68–70

anxiety and, 135–136, 225

artistic expression and, 144–146

clustered emotions, 77–81, 196, 197, 231, 269

cognitive behavioral therapy, 56, 89, 287

cognitive-boundary effect, 247–248, 297

cognitive empathy, 24, 35, 293

compassion, 17–18, 29

fatigue, 270

spiritual traditions and, 23

compassionate listening practice, 202–204

Concern for Others, 27, 36–38, 175, 294

bullying and, 240

compatibility with loved ones and, 167

development in babies and children, 214, 216–217, 233

empathic mindfulness skills and, 106, 116, 125

shame as intrinsic aspect of, 225–226

conflict culture, 273–274

confusion, 86, 170

in emotion play, 232–233

in empathic communication, 195

sympathy–empathy, 17, 23–24, 295

Conscious Complaining, 120–123, 127, 203, 251

for children, 224

versus positive affirmations, 123–125

Conscious Complaining with a Partner, 191–193, 297

Conscious Questioning for Anxiety, 135–136, 195, 203

for children, 224–225

contentment, 74–75, 79, 124, 296
bullying and, 239–242

empathic definition of, 88

in emotion play, 233

in empathic communication, 198

inflated, 198, 240–241

weasel words for, 202

contract burning, 114–119, 130, 172–173, 176, 227, 251

see also Burning Contracts

cuddling, 19, 44, 151, 228, 235

Damasio, Antonio, 59–64, 74, 94, 193, 226, 295, 296, 299, 301

dark side of empathy, 272–277

David and Rosalie, 183–184, 185–186, 193–197

Davidson, Richard J., 49, 53–58, 101, 103, 163, 167–170, 237, 287–288, 299, 301

see also Emotional Style dimensions

daya, 23

De Angelis, Barbara, 177–178, 300

Defining Your Boundaries, 108–114

anger and, 69, 73, 84, 90–92, 98, 193–194

bullying and, 240–242

for children, 225–226, 227

rejuvenation practice and, 126–127

tantrums and, 234–235

thresholds and, 157–161

see also boundary definition

Dement, William, 149–150, 300

depression, major, 91, 98, 190, 285

depression, situational, x, 61, 92, 97–98, 118, 123–125, 285, 296

empathic definition of, 87

frenemies and, 178

in empathic communication, 190, 197

joy and, 88, 198

sleep and,150

weasel words for, 201

Descartes’ Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain (Damasio), 94, 295, 299, 301

de Waal, Frans, 289, 294, 299

do-it-aheaders, 132–133

down tone, 210–211

dramatic play, 118, 175–176, 216–219, 227, 231–232, 234–237, 242–244, 276

gender roles and, 229–230

Dreamland: Adventures in the Strange Science of Sleep (Randall), 150, 300

Drezner, Sam, 25

Drezner, Todd, 25

Einfühlung, 24–25, 35, 163,

artistic expression and, 144–145, 186, 282

Emotion Contagion and, 129

empathic mindfulness skills and, 31, 102, 114, 117–119, 126, 155–156

empathic receptivity and, 92–93, 139–140, 154, 159, 221, 246–248, 262–263, 280

Eliot, Lise, 20–21, 228, 301

Ellison, Sharon, 210–211, 300

Emotion Contagion, 26, 27–31, 127–131, 157

actors and, 159

affective empathy and, 35, 293

anxiety and, 131–136

compatibility with loved ones and, 164–165

development in babies and children, 214–215, 217

Einfühlung and, 129

empathic mindfulness skills and, 106, 111, 116, 121, 125

hyperempathy and, 45, 95, 98, 110, 221–222

Resilience dimension and, 54

Self-awareness dimension and, 55

Social Intuition dimension and, 55, 169

emotion play for children, 225, 230–233

Emotion Regulation, 27, 34, 135, 187, 242, 276, 293

compatibility with loved ones and, 166

development in babies and children, 214–215, 217, 219–223, 225, 238, 240

emotion work and, 171, 191

empathic mindfulness skills and, 106, 111, 116, 121, 125

hyperempathy and, 37, 95, 98–99, 166, 236

online interactions and, 148, 181

Outlook dimension and, 54–55

Resilience dimension and, 168

Self-awareness dimension and, 55

self-soothing and, 219–223

tantrums and, 224, 234–236

emotion work, 164, 169, 171–81, 187, 190–192, 248–256, 264, 297

friendships and, 171–173

see also Hochschild, Arlie

The Emotional Brain (LeDoux), 94

The Emotional Life of Your Brain (Davidson and Begley), 53, 287, 299, 301

Emotional Style dimensions, 49, 53–57,

compatibility with loved ones and, 167– 170, 172–173, 175, 183, 206

empathic mindfulness skills and, 106, 111, 116, 121–122, 126

friendships and, 167–170

shyness and phobias and, 236–238

therapeutic suggestions for, 287–288

Emotional Vocabulary List, 283–286

emotionally well-regulated workplace, 263–266

emotions, 4–6, 10–16, 84–88, 263–266

antisocial, 64–65, 70–71

as action-requiring neurological programs, 59–64, 84, 89, 295

contrasted with feelings, 93–99

clustered, 77–81, 196, 197, 231, 269

dysregulated in online interactions, 148, 181

expression and repression of, 66–71, 94, 102, 120–122, 147, 192, 225

feedback loops and, 76, 92–93, 102, 125, 134–135, 168, 192, 236, 241

flowcharts, 96–98

in empathic communication, 193–198

multiple, 13, 77, 197

nuance, problem of, 71–77

play (for children), 230–233

prosocial, 64–65, 70–71

quantity, problem of, 77–81

quiz, 72–75, 295

valencing, 64–66, 70–71, 77–78, 80, 94, 123–124, 233

weasel words for, 199–202

see also channeling your emotions

empath-cam, 5, 42, 55

empathetic, usage, 289

empathic burnout, 16, 36–37, 46, 57, 101, 141, 146, 164, 178

in the workplace, 249–251, 254

activism and, 268–270

Empathic Accuracy, 26, 29, 31–34, 93–95, 99, 135, 187, 190, 292, 299

compatibility with loved ones and, 165–166, 171

development in babies and children, 214–215, 217, 225

empathic mindfulness skills and, 106, 111, 116, 121

Self-awareness dimension and, 55

Social Intuition dimension and, 55, 169

Empathic Meditations for Relationship Conflict, 207–210

empathic inventory, 13–16

empathic mindfulness skills, 102–127, 148, 165–166, 262

Einfühlung and, 31, 102, 114, 117–119, 126, 155–156

Emotional Style dimensions and, 106, 111, 116, 121–122, 126

for children, 224–228

Six Essential Aspects of Empathy and, 106, 111, 116, 121, 125

empathic receptivity and Einfühlung, 92–93, 139–140, 154, 159, 221, 246–248, 262–263, 280

empaths, 5, 10–12, 17, 19–25, 32, 46, 57, 101, 174–175, 279–280, 289

emotion work and, 251–253

friendships with, 179–181

Gem from Star Trek, 294

healthy home environment for, 139–162

see also hyperempathy

empathy, ix, 3–4, 11–12

affective, 24, 35, 293

artistic expression and, 144–147, 243–244

autism and, 22, 24–25, 31, 37, 163, 221, 290, 292–293

babies, development in, 39–40, 108– 109, 167, 213–220, 291–292, 294

cognitive, 24, 35, 293

dark side of, 272–277

fiction and, 14, 25, 129, 166–167, 186, 216–219, 232–233, 242–244, 297

inventory, 13–16

men and boys and, 19–22, 24, 183–186, 228–230, 281, 290

psychopathy and, 22–23, 37–38, 167, 291–293

Six Essential Aspects, 26–40

see also Einfühlung, hyperempathy

employee silence, 255–256, 254, 298

employees, overqualified, 264–265

enneagram, 53

envy, 32, 61, 65, 284, 291

empathic definition of, 75, 86, 173–174, 177

gossip and, 258–259, 260, 265

in emotion play, 231–232

in empathic communication, 196

necessity in healthy child development, 238–239

sibling and peer rivalry and, 238–239

weasel words for, 202

equilibrium, 54, 115, 125, 148, 199

Ethical Empathic Gossip, 256–262, 264–266, 298

exercise and movement practices, 25–26, 107, 145–148, 152–153, 163, 180

for children, 220–222, 243, 296

expression of emotions, 52, 62, 79–80, 94, 102, 117–121, 231, 265

problem with, 66–71

extroverts, 53

eye contact, 15, 43, 51, 69, 208, 221–223, 288

online interactions and lack of, 180, 297

facial expressions of emotion, 33, 61, 188–190, 215–216, 292

fear, 14, 32, 58, 66, 79–80, 96–97, 113, 275, 284, 289

activism and, 269

Attention dimension and, 170

channeling, 68–71

empathic definition of, 62–63, 73, 85, 89–90

focusing with, 105

in emotion play, 232

in empathic communication, 195

shyness and phobias and, 236–238

lack of, 60–61

stress and, 199

weasel words for, 201

Fearful Frank, 255

feedback loops and emotions, 76, 92–93, 102, 125, 134–135, 168, 192, 236, 241

The Feeling of What Happens: Body and Emotion in the Making of Consciousness

(Damasio), 94, 295, 299

feelings contrasted with emotions, 93–99

fiction and empathy, 14, 25, 129, 166–167, 186, 216–219, 232–233, 242–244, 297

flowcharts from emotion to feeling, 96–98

Forum radio show, 132

frenemies, 177–179, 297

friendship, 12, 20, 49, 92, 99, 136, 142, 152, 163–164

Emotional Style compatibility and, 167–170

emotion work and, 171–173

empathic, finding, 179–181

Six Essential Aspects of Empathy and, 164–167

Gardner, Howard, 49–52, 54, 56, 58, 294

gay. See GLBTAQ.

Gem (Star Trek), 294

gender stereotyping (valencing), 19–22, 228–230, 277, 290

Getting Grounded, 103–108

GLBTAQ (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, asexual, questioning), 12, 229–230, 298, 313

gloating, 78

Goldfish crackers and broccoli study, 39–40, 294

Gopnik, Alison, 39–40, 290, 294

gossip, 256–262, 264, 266, 298

envy and, 258–259, 260, 265

jealousy and, 258–259, 260, 265

Green, James, 234, 297

grief, 14, 283

empathic definition of, 62, 65, 87

in emotion play, 233

in empathic communication, 197

weasel words for, 201

grounding practices, 103–108, 119, 120–123, 155–157

for children, 224

sadness and, 103–105

groupishness, 275

toxic, 276–278

see also in-group, out-group

guilt, 226, 275, 285, 295–296

Burning Contracts and, 74, 194

difference between shame and, 295–296

empathic definition of, 73, 85

in emotion play (as shame), 232

in empathic communication, 193

lack of, 60

weasel words for, 201

see also shame

happiness, 32–33, 74, 80, 200, 202, 284, 296, 300

emotion work and, 252, 264

empathic definition of, 65–66, 87–88

in emotion play, 233

in empathic communication, 197–198

Outlook dimension and, 168

hatred, 32, 88, 283

empathic definition of, 85,

in emotion play, 232

in empathic communication, 194–195

shadow work for, 85, 130, 195, 260–261, 301–302

highly sensitive person, 53

Hochschild, Arlie, 171, 248, 250, 299

homophobia, 12, 229–230, 291, 298

How Emotions Work (Katz), 94

How Much Emotion is Too Much?, 88–93

HR. See human resource administrators.

Hubbard, Billie Karyl Lucy Rogers, 10–11, 43–45, 144, 184, 202, 207–209

human resource administrators (HR), 250, 253–256, 258, 264–265, 298

hyperawareness, sensory, 223–224, 236, 296

hyperempathy, 6, 12, 30, 37, 46, 95, 110, 114,

autism and, 22, 163, 221–224, 290, 293

Emotion Regulation and, 37, 95, 98–99, 166, 236

orthorexia and, 152–155

self-soothing and, 219–224

Social Intuition dimension and, 169

identity-first usage, 22, 290–291

Ignoramusky, 237

in-group, 273–275, 277, 298

intelligence, multiple, 49–50, 54, 56, 58, 294

Intentional Tantrums, 224–225, 232, 235–236

International Association for Suicide Prevention, 285–286

intimacy zones, 173–174

introverts, 53

Iris and Joseph, 6–9, 42, 45, 55–56, 160

jealousy, 32, 65, 284, 299

empathic definition of, 75, 86, 173–174, 177

gossip and, 258–259, 260, 265

in emotion play, 234

in empathic communication, 196

necessity in healthy child development, 238–239

sibling and peer rivalry and, 238–239

weasel words for, 202

Joseph and Iris, 6–9, 42, 45, 55–56, 160

joy, 32, 38, 78, 168, 202, 221, 284

depression and 88, 198

empathic definition of, 88

in emotion play, 233

in empathic communication, 198

Rejuvenating Yourself and, 125–127

Katz, Jack, 94

kinetic sculptures, 57–58

Kitten vs. a Scary Thing (Ignoramusky), 237

Knowles, Beyoncé, 160

Kony, Joseph, 271–272, 273

Kony2012 (Russell), 271–272

Krasny, Michael, 132

Lamia, Mary, 132, 299

The Language of Emotions (McLaren), 46, 59, 103, 226, 285, 289, 294–296, 300

Learning People Intentionally, 188–190

LeDoux, Joseph, 94

lesbian. See GLBTAQ.

Levine, Peter, 87, 155, 297, 300–301

Lieberman, Matthew, 95

Looking for Spinoza: Joy, Sorrow, and the Feeling Brain (Damasio), 94, 295, 299

love, 3, 123, 141, 152, 153, 163–181

swashbucklers of, 173–176

see also self-love

Loving Lampposts (Drezner), 25

The Managed Heart: Commercialization of Human Feeling (Hochschild), 171, 248, 299

McWilliams, Nancy, 291

men and empathy, 19–22, 24, 183–186, 228–230, 281, 290

meritocracy, shadow, 253–260, 264–265, 298

mirroring, 28, 184, 193, 215–216, 218

mirror-neuron hypothesis, 18, 28, 290

Mom’s Magical Three-Step Communication Skill, 202–205

movement practices and exercise, 25–26, 107, 145–148, 152–153, 163, 180

for children, 220–222, 243, 296

multiple emotions, 13, 77, 197

multiple intelligence, 49–50, 54, 56, 58, 294

narcissism, 22, 37, 291

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 285–286

negative emotions, 6, 32, 54, 60–65, 70–71, 77, 102, 121, 130, 134

Nirvana, 23

NoBully.com, 240, 241

nostalgia, 78

nuance, problem of, 71–77

obsessive-compulsive behavior, 153

On Being Certain (Burton), 94, 301

online emotional dysregulation, 148, 181

orthorexia nervosa, 152–156, 222, 297

othering, 273, 274, 276, 282, 293

out-group, 51, 273–279

Outlook (emotional style dimension), 54–55

compatibility with loved ones and, 168–169, 172

empathic mindfulness skills and, 106, 11, 116, 121, 126

therapeutic suggestions for, 287–288

overqualified employees, 264–265

oxytocin, 18, 275–277, 298

panic, 32, 57, 88, 284

empathic definition of, 86–87

in emotion play, 232

in empathic communication, 196

peer rivalry, 238–239

Perceptive Engagement, 27, 38–40, 93, 164, 207, 267

compatibility with loved ones and, 167

development in babies and children, 214, 216–217, 233

empathic mindfulness skills and, 106, 111, 116, 125

peripersonal space, 109–110, 112–114, 117–119, 126, 128, 188

Perry, Bruce, 214, 300

personality typing, 53–54

Perspective Taking, 27, 35–37, 83, 164, 171, 187, 276, 293

artistic expression and, 144–147, 243–244

compatibility with loved ones and, 166–167

development in babies and children, 214, 216–217, 230, 233, 240

empathic mindfulness skills and, 103, 106, 109, 111, 116

Sensitivity to Context dimension and, 170

Social Intuition dimension and, 55, 169

phobias and shyness, 236–238

Pink Brain, Blue Brain (Eliot), 20–21, 228, 301

Plank, Tino, 5, 6, 9, 255, 281, 313

positive affirmations, 123–125

positive emotions, 6, 32, 34, 54, 61, 63–65, 72, 78, 192

positive thinking, 123–124

post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), 87–89

panic and, 86–87, 196

trauma healing therapies for, 155, 300–301

problem of nuance, 71–77

problem of quantity, 77–81

problem with expression and repression, 66–71

problem with valencing, 64–66

procrastination and anxiety, 75, 85–86, 132–136, 195, 252

The Promise of Sleep (Dement), 149–150, 300

proprioceptors, 109–110, 114, 119, 129

prosocial emotions, 64–65, 70–71

pseudoempathy, 184

psychopathy, 22–23, 37–38, 167, 291–293

PTSD. See post-traumatic stress disorder.

quantity, problem of, 77–81

quiz, emotion, 72–75, 295

Randall, David K., 150, 300

reactive attachment disorder (RAD), 291–292

receptivity, empathic (and Einfühlung), 92–93, 139–140, 154, 159, 221, 246–248, 262–263, 280

reflective listening, 184–185, 202, 204

Rejuvenating Yourself, 125–127, 252, 262

for children, 224

repression of emotions, 91, 94, 102, 118–125, 130, 135–136, 192, 225, 238, 258–260

problem with, 66–71

Resilience (emotional style dimension), 54, 237

compatibility with loved ones and, 168, 172

empathic mindfulness skills and, 106, 111, 116, 121, 126

shyness and phobias and, 237

therapeutic suggestions for, 287–288

Resourcing, 155–158, 161, 252

for children, 224

shyness and phobias and, 236–238

Rosalie and David, 183–184, 185–186, 193–197

sadness, 32–33, 79–80, 87, 113, 124, 143, 283, 295, 297

activism and, 269–270

empathic definition of, 62, 65, 73

grounding with, 103–105

in emotion play, 233

in empathic communication, 196–197

in flowchart, 96

joy and, 88, 198

weasel words for, 201

Sad Susan, 255

Sam’s Sufi sitting meditations, 208–210

Sasha Fierce, 160

schadenfreude, 78

Scientific American Mind, 177–179, 292, 297

screen time and babies, 218–219

secondhand anger, 79–80

secondhand happiness, 80

Self-awareness (emotional style dimension), 55, 109, 130

compatibility with loved ones and, 169–170, 172

empathic mindfulness skills and, 103, 106, 111, 116, 121–122, 126

shyness and phobias and, 237

therapeutic suggestions for, 288

Self Comes to Mind: Constructing the Conscious Brain (Damasio), 62–63, 296, 301

self-esteem, 84

bullying and, 240

self-care, 36, 40–42, 49, 101, 144, 146–147, 151–153, 167, 263, 267

self-love, 40–42, 153, 155, 263

see also love

self/other distinction, 40–42, 109–111

see also Perspective Taking

self-recognizer, 109

self-soothing, 223–224

Sensitivity to Context (emotional style dimension), 55–56

compatibility with loved ones and, 170, 172

empathic mindfulness skills and, 106, 111, 116, 126

shyness and phobias and, 237

therapeutic suggestions for, 288

sensory hyperawareness, 223–224, 236, 296

sensory-processing , 190

sex, 107, 150–151, 177, 299

sexism, 12, 19–21, 228–230, 291

see also gender stereotyping (valencing)

shadow, 85, 130, 259–261, 279

meritocracy, 253–260, 264–265, 298

work, 85, 130, 195, 260–261, 301–301

shame, 51–52, 77–79, 133–134, 199, 252, 285

boundary-setting and, 112–113, 225

bullying and, 239–242

channeling, 67–69

children and, 222–223, 225–227

Concern for Others and, 225–226

contentment and, 198, 233, 240–241

difference between guilt and, 295–296

empathic definition of, 62, 64–65, 73–75, 85

in emotion play, 232

in empathic communication, 194

lack of, 60

weasel words for, 201

see also guilt

Sher, Barbara, 120–121, 191, 300

shyness and phobias, 236–238

sibling rivalry, 238–239

silence, employee, 255–256, 254, 298

situational depression. See depression, situational.

Six Essential Aspects of Empathy, 26–40

compatibility with loved ones and, 164–167

empathic mindfulness skills and, 106, 111, 116, 121, 125

friendships and, 164–167

slaphappiness, 125

sleep, 153–154, 157, 223–224, 245–246, 296–297, 300

hygiene, 147–151

The Social Conquest of Earth (Wilson), 274–275, 300

Social Intuition (emotional style dimension), 55

compatibility with loved ones and, 169, 172

empathic mindfulness skills and, 111, 116

therapeutic suggestions for, 288

social justice, 21, 40–42, 49, 62, 153, 266–280, 293

sociopathy (dated term), 22, 37

see also psychopathy

Somatic Experiencing therapy, 87, 89, 155

see also trauma therapies

Spock, Mr. (Star Trek), 59, 294

spoon and teddy bear study, 29, 108, 292

Star Trek, 46, 59, 294

Stern School of Business (NYU), 256

stims, 223

storytelling, 14, 174–175, 216–219, 225, 227–229, 242, 276–280

Sufi sitting meditations, 208–210

suicidal urges, 285–286, 296

suicide prevention lifeline, 285–286

swashbucklers of love, 173–176

sympathy-empathy confusion, 17, 23–24, 289

Szalavitz, Maia, 214, 300

Taking Power Struggle Out of Parenting

(Ellison), 211, 300

Taking the War out of Our Words (Ellison), 210, 300

tantrums, 234–236, 297

Intentional, 224–225, 232, 235–236

teddy bear and spoon study, 29, 108, 292

television and babies, 218–219

temperament, 53–54

terror, 43, 276, 284

empathic definition of, 86–87

in emotion play (as panic), 232

in empathic communication, 196

three-party empathy, 273, 298

thresholds, 142, 157–161, 165, 178, 197, 207, 270

cognitive-boundary effect and, 247–248, 297

for sensitive children, 221, 223

gender roles and, 229–230

workplace and, 247–248, 252, 264–266

tonglen meditation, 287

Tourette’s Syndrome, 190

toxic groupishness, 276–278

transgender. See GLBTAQ.

trauma healing therapies, 46, 86–87, 89, 155, 196, 297, 300–301

Understanding Myself: A Kid’s Guide to Intense Emotions and Strong Feelingsd

(Lamia), 132, 299

unvalencing emotions, 66, 157, 193, 231, 236

up tone, 210–211

valencing, 64

emotions, 64–66, 70–71, 77–78, 80, 94, 123–124, 233

gender, 19–22, 228–230, 277, 290

people, 168–169, 273
problem of, 64–66

Vischer, Robert, 24, 292

Waters, Tony, 270–271, 298, 313

weasel words, 199–202, 204, 207, 297

Weir, Kirsten, 177, 297

Wilson, Edward O., iv, 274–275, 289–290, 300

Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want (Sher), 120, 191, 300

worry, 123

empathic definition of, 85–86

in emotion play, 224–225

in empathic communication, 195

see also anxiety

YouTube, 237, 271, 297