Index

A

A&A See Aid and Attendance pension

AARP, 1

abandonment, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7

fear of, 1

by parents, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

in post-POP, 1

by spouse, 1

Wolf, L., and, 1 , 2.1-2.2

accessibility, 1

activities of daily living (ADLs), 1 , 2

acupressure, 1

acupuncture, 1

ADLs See activities of daily living

adult failure to thrive (AFTT), 1

Advance Health Directive, 1

AFTT See adult failure to thrive

aggression

personalizing, 1

during residence move, 1

of Wolf, L., 1 , 2.1-2.2

aging

as idiosyncratic, 1

limitations, 1

rates in parents, 1.1-1.2

of self, 1 , 2.1-2.2

Wolf, J. on, 1

aging-in-place

CAPS for, 1.1-1.2

defined, 1

disadvantages of, 1

in homes of children, 1.1-1.2

for parents, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3.1-3.2

POPlan for, 1.1-1.2

requirements and modifications for, 1.1-1.2

smart houses for, 1

smartphone apps for, 1

social isolation and, 1.1-1.2

TEAM POP on, 1

Aid and Attendance pension (A&A), 1

ALF See assisted-living facility

Alzheimer’s disease, 1

in older Americans, 1

Wolf, L., and, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7

American Dream, 1 , 2

“

“The American Dream”, 1

A

anger, 1

toward family, 1

goals and, 1

letting go of, 1

in post-POP, 1 , 2

sadness and, 1

anhedonia, 1

animals, healing and, 1 , 2

antibiotics, 1 , 2

anxiety, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

of caregivers, 1

over hospice, 1.1-1.2

See also stress

appreciation

for father, 1

from father, 1

from mother, 1

from parents, 1.1-1.2

ASCAP, 1 , 2

aspiration pneumonia, 1.1-1.2

assisted-living facility (ALF), 1.1-1.2

adjusting to, 1.1-1.2

changes to contracts with, 1.1-1.2

comfort-filling parents in, 1.1-1.2

companionship and care in, 1

failure of, 1

government regulation of, 1

locating, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6

moving to and from, 1 , 2 , 3

no thickener rule in, 1.1-1.2

protest and resistance to, 1

religious services in, 1

restrictions in, 1

rhythm and schedules in, 1

security in, 1

smell test for, 1 , 2 , 3

theme-centered event in, 1

Wolf, J., evicted from, 1.1-1.2

Wolf, J., in, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3.1-3.2

Wolf, L., in, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2

automatic thinking, 1.1-1.2

autonomy, 1 , 2

B

baby boomers, 1 , 2 , 3

Bacharach, Burt, 1

B&C See board-and-care facility

bill paying, 1.1-1.2

bingo, 1 , 2

blogs, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

board-and-care facility (B&C), 1.1-1.2 , 2

book writing, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5.1-5.2

Boston University School of Law, 1

boundaries

personal, 1

in POP, 1.1-1.2

Bower, Bugs, 1

brain aneurysm, 1.1-1.2 , 2

Brill Building, 1 , 2

Buddha, 1

C

California, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

dreams of parents in, 1.1-1.2

father’s enjoyment of, 1.1-1.2

father’s reaction to move, 1

life developed in, 1

mother’s reaction to move, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

move to, 1.1-1.2

residency record book in, 1

calmness, 1 , 2 , 3

CAPS See certified aging-in-place specialists

caregivers

anxiety of, 1

balance in assistance, 1.1-1.2

depression in, 1

experience with, 1

feelings about, 1

health problems in, 1.1-1.2

help for, 1.1-1.2

kindness of, 1

overseeing, 1.1-1.2

for parents, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

percentage of male, 1

resistance to, 1.1-1.2 , 2

self-care for, 1

self-neglect among, 1

supplementing, 1

Wolf, J., as, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3.1-3.2

for Wolf, J., 1.1-1.2

for Wolf, L., 1.1-1.2 , 2

Carlin, George, 1.1-1.2 , 2

CCRC See Continuing Care Retirement Community

Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, 1

certified aging-in-place specialists (CAPS), 1.1-1.2

chemotherapy, 1

childhood emotional wounds, 1

chiropractic adjustments, 1

chronic disease, 1 , 2

Circle of Life, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

cleanliness, 1

Clooney, Rosemary, 1

Colby, Robert, 1

Collins, Judy, 1

comfort-filling parents

in ALF, 1.1-1.2

during hospitalizations, 1.1-1.2

during transition, 1.1-1.2

comfort zone, 1

communication

with GMC, 1

about hospice, 1.1-1.2

with TEAM POP, 1

community-acquired pneumonia, 1.1-1.2

companionship, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7

compassion, 1 , 2 , 3

cultivating, 1

of hospice, 1

in parenting, 1

POP and, 1.1-1.2

in POParenting, 1 , 2

during residence move, 1

compensating, 1 , 2 , 3

concealment

family patterns, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2

by parents, 1

conference calls, 1

conflict, 1 , 2

confusion, 1 , 2 , 3

conservatorship, 1

Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC), 1

co-POParenting, 1.1-1.2

Craigslist, 1

crossword puzzles, 1

cultural life, 1.1-1.2

cultural values, 1.1-1.2

D

Darion, Joe, 1

David, Hal, 1

death

books on, 1

fear of, 1

first memories of, 1

fulfilled compared to tragic, 1

grace and, 1

as inevitable, 1

of parents, 1

in POParenting, 1 , 2

POP as life-and-death mission, 1.1-1.2

as relief, 1

Wolf, J., on, 1

Wolf, L., on, 1

of Wolf, J., 1 , 2.1-2.2

of Wolf, L., 1.1-1.2

See also end-of-life See also hospice See also transitions

decision-making

for hospice, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

for moving residences, 1 , 2

parental end-of-life, 1 , 2

in POP, 1 , 2

reversing hospice, 1

delayed reacting, 1.1-1.2

delirium, 1

dementia, 1

diagnosing, 1

inheriting, 1

in older Americans, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

parents with, 1

of Wolf, J., 1.1-1.2

of Wolf, L., 1 , 2 , 3.1-3.2 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9

denial, 1

of daughter, 1.1-1.2 , 2

of Wolf, L., 1.1-1.2 , 2

depression

in caregivers, 1

in elderly, 1 , 2.1-2.2

POParenting and, 1

of Wolf, J., 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3

See also suicide

designated domestic organizer, 1.1-1.2

Diagnosis-Related Groups (DRGs), 1 , 2

dignity, 1

disappointment, 1

in post-POP, 1

underreacting to, 1

of Wolf, J., 1

dislocation, 1

DNR See do-not-resuscitate

doctors

visits to, 1.1-1.2

Wolf, J., on, 1 , 2

donations, 1

do-not-resuscitate (DNR), 1

do-overs, 1

in childhood, 1

in life, 1.1-1.2

POP as, 1.1-1.2

for regrets, 1

Dreams of My Father (Obama), 1

DRGs See Diagnosis-Related Groups

due diligence, 1 , 2

E

eBay, 1

elder cams, 1

electroshock treatments (EST), 1.1-1.2

embarrassment, 1 , 2

emotional neutrality, 1

end-of-life

conversations, 1

parents decision for, 1 , 2

See also the Talk

EST See electroshock treatments

estate plan, 1 , 2

exhaustion

in POParenting, 1

unwanted thoughts of, 1

of Wolf, J., 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

of Wolf, L., 1

expansion, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

F

FaceTime, 1 , 2 , 3

failure to thrive, 1 , 2

falling

fear of, 1.1-1.2

injuries from, 1 , 2.1-2.2

POPlan and, 1

preventing in home, 1 , 2

recuperating from, 1

Wolf, J., and, 1.1-1.2

Wolf, L., and, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

family

anger toward, 1

hospice benefits for, 1

meetings, 1

patterns, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2

strengths, 1

as TEAM POP, 1

See also parents See also POP Family Coaching program See also siblings

Father’s Day, 1

fatigue, 1 , 2 , 3

fear, 1

of abandonment, 1

of being locked up, 1

of death, 1

of falling, 1.1-1.2

in moving residences, 1

during POPcycle, 1

fearlessness, 1

finances

moving residences and, 1.1-1.2

paperwork for, 1.1-1.2 , 2

flexibility, 1 , 2

focus, 1

on healing, 1

on loneliness, 1

on love, 1

food quality, 1

forgiveness, 1

empowerment from, 1

for expanding happiness, 1

healing and, 1 , 2

toward parents, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2

POP and, 1.1-1.2

in post-POP, 1 , 2

power in, 1

seeking, 1

toward self, 1.1-1.2

four-step letting go process, 1.1-1.2 , 2

Fox, Barry, 1.1-1.2

frailty syndrome, 1

Frances, Jane, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

See also specific topics

friendships, 1.1-1.2

G

Garfield, John, 1.1-1.2

GCM See geriatric care manager

gender, 1 , 2

geriatric care manager (GCM), 1

communication with, 1

hiring and firing of, 1 , 2

interviewing, 1.1-1.2

locating, 1 , 2

need for, 1

questions for, 1.1-1.2

recommendations from, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3.1-3.2

responsibility for, 1

threats of resigning, 1.1-1.2

geriatric mentor, 1

geriatric placement agency, 1.1-1.2 , 2

goodness, 1 , 2 , 3

savoring good in life, 1

grace, 1 , 2 , 3

death and, 1

loss and, 1

in POParenting, 1

POPcycle with, 1

gratitude

being grateful, 1

for expanding happiness, 1

grief and, 1

invoking, 1

lists, 1.1-1.2

for parents, 1 , 2

from parents, 1

peacefulness and, 1

POP and, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4

in post-POP, 1 , 2

Wolf, J., expressing, 1

Great Depression, 1 , 2

Depression mentality, 1 , 2

greed, 1

grief, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

gratitude and, 1

letting go of, 1

in post-POP, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

premature, 1.1-1.2 , 2

guilt, 1 , 2

guilt-tripping, 1

POParenting and, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

survivor, 1

H

Hamlet (Shakespeare), 1.1-1.2

happiness

of elderly, 1

forgiveness for expanding, 1

gratitude for expanding, 1

Happiness Scientists, 1 , 2

in POP, 1

savoring good in live, 1

thermostat, 1.1-1.2

U-curve of, 1

Wolf, L., and, 1

See also joy

harmony, 1

healing

animals and, 1 , 2

focus on, 1

forgiveness and, 1 , 2

inhibiting, 1

in POParenting, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

POPcycle for, 1

POP for, 1 , 2

in post-POP, 1.1-1.2 , 2

professionals, 1.1-1.2

visioning and, 1

of Wolf, J., 1

health, 1 , 2.1-2.2 , 3

enthusiasm, 1.1-1.2

problems in caregivers, 1.1-1.2

risks for parents, 1.1-1.2

helplessness, 1 , 2

Herron, Joel, 1

Holiday, Billie, 1

Holmes, Ernest, 1 , 2.1-2.2

home

out-of-home experience, 1

parents leaving, 1.1-1.2

safety evaluation for, 1

settling parents into new, 1.1-1.2

of Wolf, J., 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4.1-4.2 , 5

of Wolf, L., 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4.1-4.2

See also moving residences

hopelessness, 1 , 2

hospice, 1

anxiety over, 1.1-1.2

care categories in, 1.1-1.2

communication about, 1.1-1.2

compassion of, 1

decision for, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

decision reversal for, 1

family benefits, 1

Medicare services, 1 , 2.1-2.2

peacefulness from, 1

performance of care, 1.1-1.2

POPcycle during, 1

stress during, 1

TEAM POP alignment on, 1

for Wolf, J., 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7

hospitalizations

comfort-filling parents during, 1.1-1.2

discharge of Wolf, J., 1.1-1.2

as health hazard, 1.1-1.2

for pneumonia, 1

serial, 1

Wolf, J., on, 1 , 2

of Wolf, L., 1 , 2 , 3

how questions, 1

I

IADLs See instrumental activities of daily living

identification information, 1

IIS See Insufficient Information Syndrome

IL See Independent Living

“

“I’m a Fool to Want You”, 1 , 2

I

independence, 1 , 2

of parents, 1 , 2 , 3

undermining, 1

Independent Living (IL), 1 , 2 , 3.1-3.2

influenza, 1 , 2

information gathering

approaches to, 1.1-1.2

comfort zone in, 1

dividing among siblings, 1

for POP, 1.1-1.2

reassurance during, 1

role reversal in, 1

for security, 1.1-1.2

insights

of geriatric mentor, 1

into loss, 1.1-1.2

in POPcycle, 1

in post-POP, 1 , 2

institutionalizing of parents, 1 , 2 , 3

instrumental activities of daily living (IADLs), 1

Insufficient Information Syndrome (IIS), 1.1-1.2

“

“In the Twilight”, 1

I

intrusiveness, 1 , 2 , 3

irrationality, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

irritability, 1

IRS, 1

isolation, 1 , 2 , 3

“

“Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini”, 1

J

Jeopardy game show, 1 , 2 , 3

John, Elton, 1

Joplin, Janis, 1

journal writing, 1

joy

capacity for, 1

in POParenting, 1 , 2

in POPcycle, 1 , 2

in possessions, 1

in post-POP, 1

judgment, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

K

Keel, Howard, 1

kindness, 1 , 2 , 3

aging limitations and, 1

of caregivers, 1

in POParenting, 1

from strangers, 1

L

labored breathing, 1

laughter

in POP, 1 , 2 , 3.1-3.2

in POP Family Coaching program, 1

Law and Order, 1

law practice, 1

lawyers, 1

letting go

of anger, 1

four-step process for, 1.1-1.2 , 2

goodbyes and, 1.1-1.2

gratitude lists for, 1.1-1.2

of grief, 1

of loss, 1

overview, 1.1-1.2

in post-POP, 1.1-1.2

of regret, 1 , 2.1-2.2

of resentment, 1

of sadness, 1 , 2

spiritual philosophy and, 1

three-step process for, 1

during transitions, 1.1-1.2

life review, 1

liquid thickeners, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

listening, 1 , 2 , 3

loneliness, 1 , 2.1-2.2

focus on, 1

in post-POP, 1 , 2

long-distance POParenting, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7

longevity, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

longevity specialist, 1.1-1.2

long-term care facility (LTC)

admittance to, 1

illness in, 1

numbers in, 1

long-term care insurance, 1 , 2 , 3.1-3.2 , 4 , 5 , 6.1-6.2

benefits of, 1

loss, 1 , 2 , 3

grace and, 1

insights into, 1.1-1.2

letting go of, 1

in post-POP, 1 , 2 , 3.1-3.2 , 4.1-4.2

serenity replacing, 1

love, 1

focus on, 1

from parents, 1 , 2

in POParenting, 1 , 2

from siblings, 1

LTC See long-term care facility

M

Mad Men, 1

maintenance, in POP, 1 , 2

“

“Man of La Mancha”, 1

M

Mardones, Benny, 1

marriage

creating, 1

cultural value of, 1

married life of parents, 1.1-1.2

McGrail, Michael L., 1.1-1.2 , 2

Medicaid, 1 , 2

medical needs

moving residences and, 1.1-1.2

in POParenting, 1

Medicare, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, 1

donut hold gap in, 1

DRGs, 1 , 2

failure of, 1

hospice services, 1 , 2.1-2.2

informing of deaths, 1

problems, 1

procedures paid for, 1

meditation, 1 , 2

meeting strangers technique, 1.1-1.2

memories

assessing, 1.1-1.2

as emotionally triggering, 1

long and short term, 1

of parents, 1 , 2 , 3.1-3.2 , 4

in post-POP, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3.1-3.2

sadness over, 1

undesirable, 1

unearthing with possessions, 1

of Wolf, J., 1

See also nostalgia See also recollections

Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA), 1 , 2

micromanaging, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

mood patterns, 1

mortality

as fact, 1

of parents, 1 , 2

pneumonia and, 1

Mother’s Day, 1

motivation

for activity, 1

for paperwork, 1.1-1.2

moving residences

addressing fears in, 1

adjustment to, 1

aggression during, 1

to and from ALF, 1 , 2

creating familiarity in, 1.1-1.2

decisions for, 1 , 2

father’s reaction to, 1

with favorite objects, 1 , 2

finances and, 1.1-1.2

as high stressor, 1 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4

medical needs and, 1.1-1.2

mother’s reaction to, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

patience and compassion during, 1

pets and, 1.1-1.2

for POP, 1

POPlan for, 1

questions and explanations in, 1.1-1.2

sadness over, 1

settling parents in new, 1.1-1.2

to and from SNF, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6

See also aging-in-place

Mr. Moderation, 1

MRSA See Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus

music publishing, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3.1-3.2 , 4 , 5 , 6

pride in, 1

writing process, 1.1-1.2

N

nanny cameras, 1 , 2

National Suicide Prevention Hotline, 1

naturopathic remedies, 1

negativity, 1 , 2

neglect, 1

fear of, 1

medical, 1

parents and, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

Neptune Society, 1

night driving, 1

Nilla Wafers, 1

nostalgia, 1 , 2

in post-POP, 1

Nursing Home Compare website, 1.1-1.2

O

Obama, Barack, 1

obligation

moral, 1

of parents, 1 , 2

POParenting and, 1 , 2

POP as, 1.1-1.2

observing eye, 1.1-1.2

optimism, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

osteoporosis, 1 , 2 , 3

out-of-home experience, 1

P

PACE See Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly

pain relief, 1 , 2 , 3

paperwork

bill paying, 1.1-1.2

changing quality of life, 1

at end of POP, 1

financial plans, 1.1-1.2 , 2

motivation for, 1.1-1.2

in POP, 1.1-1.2

post-POP, 1

professionals for, 1

taking control in, 1

Parenting Our Parents (POP)

abilities for, 1

adaptations for, 1

advice for, 1.1-1.2 , 2

being alert to wake-up-calls, 1

benefits of, 1

as bittersweet, 1.1-1.2 , 2

boundaries in, 1.1-1.2

calmer times in, 1

challenges in, 1.1-1.2

changes due to, 1

choice for, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3.1-3.2 , 4.1-4.2 , 5.1-5.2 , 6 , 7 , 8

coining of, 1 , 2

commencement of, 1

commitment to, 1 , 2

community, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

compassion and, 1.1-1.2

co-POParenting in, 1.1-1.2

decisions in, 1 , 2

demands of, 1.1-1.2

as do-over, 1.1-1.2

end of, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2

evaluating time for, 1.1-1.2

expansion from, 1

family meetings in, 1

forgiveness and, 1.1-1.2

as gift, 1

gratitude and, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4

happiness in, 1

for healing, 1 , 2

how questions in, 1

improvements from, 1.1-1.2

information gathering for, 1.1-1.2

intrusive activities in, 1

laughter in, 1 , 2 , 3.1-3.2

length of, 1

as life-and-death mission, 1.1-1.2

maintenance in, 1 , 2

moving for, 1

moving toward 21st century, 1

not for everyone, 1.1-1.2

as obligation, 1.1-1.2

one choice at a time, 1 , 2

paperwork in, 1.1-1.2

personal narratives in, 1.1-1.2

recipe for relief, 1

reconciliation in, 1

role reversals in, 1 , 2 , 3

sacrifices in, 1.1-1.2 , 2

by self, 1.1-1.2

stress in, 1

unexpected in, 1.1-1.2

unpredictability in, 1

website, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7

worry in, 1

parents

abandonment by, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

accepting help, 1

aging-in-place, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3.1-3.2

aging rates in, 1.1-1.2

appreciation from, 1.1-1.2

on call 24/7 for, 1

caregivers for, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

changes in, 1.1-1.2

choosing residence for, 1.1-1.2

concealment by, 1

cultural life of, 1.1-1.2

cultural values of, 1.1-1.2

death of, 1

decline of, 1 , 2 , 3

with dementia, 1

dignity of, 1

dining with, 1.1-1.2

as disappearing, 1

diverging disabilities and declines of, 1.1-1.2

encouraging continued development in, 1

end-of-life decision of, 1 , 2

estate plan of, 1

evaluation of, 1

finding time for, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2

forgiveness toward, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2

frailty syndrome in, 1

getting help for, 1

gratitude for, 1 , 2

gratitude from, 1

health risks for, 1.1-1.2

hiding limitations, 1.1-1.2

identification information for, 1

independence of, 1 , 2 , 3

institutionalizing, 1 , 2

introducing changes for, 1

leaving home, 1.1-1.2

listening to, 1

living apart, 1.1-1.2

love from, 1 , 2

magic wand for, 1

making priority, 1

married life of, 1.1-1.2

memories of, 1 , 2 , 3.1-3.2 , 4

mood patterns of, 1

mortality of, 1 , 2

needs of, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3 , 4

neglect and, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

obligations of, 1 , 2

out-of-home experience for, 1

possessions of, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3

power over, 1.1-1.2 , 2

privacy of, 1 , 2 , 3

protecting, 1 , 2 , 3

rejection and, 1 , 2 , 3

repaying, 1

resistance from, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

resolution process with, 1.1-1.2

results and, 1.1-1.2

sadness over separating, 1

safety for, 1.1-1.2 , 2

settling into new home, 1.1-1.2

slower pace of, 1.1-1.2 , 2

the Talk from, 1

tributes for, 1 , 2.1-2.2

underestimating, 1

unplanned visits to, 1

vaccinations for, 1

valuables of, 1

visiting, 1.1-1.2

vulnerability of, 1 , 2 , 3

wake-up-calls from, 1

See also comfort-filling parents

Parkinson’s disease, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

patience

cultivating, 1

in parenting, 1

in POParenting, 1 , 2 , 3

during residence move, 1

Peace Corps, 1

peacefulness, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

gratitude and, 1

from hospice, 1

from release, 1

in Wolf, J., 1

pensions, 1 , 2

A&A, 1

perseverating, 1 , 2.1-2.2

personal narratives, 1.1-1.2

persuasion, 1 , 2

pets, moving residences and, 1.1-1.2

physical therapy (PT), 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

pneumonia

aspiration, 1.1-1.2

community-acquired, 1.1-1.2

hospitalizations for, 1

mortality and, 1

in older Americans, 1 , 2

preventing, 1

recovering from, 1

symptoms of, 1.1-1.2

treatment for, 1

types of, 1.1-1.2

of Wolf, J., 1 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4.1-4.2 , 5 , 6

of Wolf, L., 1 , 2 , 3 , 4.1-4.2 , 5 , 6 , 7

Ponzi schemes, 1

POP See Parenting Our Parents

POParenting

assistance with, 1

attending medical visits, 1

being absent and, 1

being in present, 1

benevolence and generosity in, 1

companions in, 1

compassion in, 1 , 2

concessions in, 1

confusion over, 1

crises in, 1

death in, 1 , 2

delaying personal needs during, 1

depression and, 1

effects of long-term, 1.1-1.2

exhaustion in, 1

expertise for, 1

forming groups, 1

gender and, 1 , 2

grace in, 1

guilt and, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

handling overburdened institutions in, 1.1-1.2

as hands-on, 1

healing in, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

impact of, 1

inner voice of, 1

joy in, 1 , 2

kindness in, 1

life review in, 1

limits of, 1

listening in, 1

long-distance, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7

love in, 1 , 2

mistakes made in, 1

obligation and, 1 , 2 , 3

observing eye in, 1.1-1.2

over doing, 1 , 2 , 3

patience in, 1 , 2 , 3

persuasion in, 1

providing emotional base, 1

resentment over, 1.1-1.2

as right thing to do, 1

role in, 1

sacrifices in, 1 , 2

siblings designating, 1

thinking for self in, 1.1-1.2

watchfulness in, 1.1-1.2 , 2

POPcycle, 1 , 2

anticipation in, 1

challenges in, 1 , 2

completing, 1

continuing, 1

control of money in, 1

decline in, 1

end of, 1

as enlightening, 1

fear during, 1

as final chapter, 1

with grace, 1

for healing, 1

during hospice, 1

insights in, 1

joy in, 1

lawyers in, 1

living with joy, 1

location of residence during, 1

as measurement, 1

notion of, 1

preventing controversy in, 1

relentless direction in, 1

resetting, 1.1-1.2

resistance during, 1

safety in, 1

self-care in, 1

start of, 1

structuring, 1

time in, 1

tools for, 1

tributes during, 1

POP Family Coaching program, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

becoming coach, 1

co-POParenting and, 1

delayed reacting in, 1.1-1.2

laughter as tool, 1

meeting strangers technique in, 1.1-1.2

offering of, 1.1-1.2

in post-POP, 1

reframing technique in, 1.1-1.2 , 2

for residency decisions, 1

for support, 1

test question in, 1

tools in, 1.1-1.2

underreacting technique in, 1 , 2

for unresolved issues, 1

POPlan, 1 , 2 , 3

adding to, 1

adjustments to, 1 , 2

in advance, 1

for aging-in-place, 1.1-1.2

completing, 1

disruption of, 1

dissolution of, 1

as doable, 1

falling and, 1

final, 1

following, 1

ideal, 1

initiating, 1

long-distance, 1

making permanent, 1.1-1.2

micromanagement in, 1

reconstructing, 1.1-1.2 , 2

for residence moves, 1

snafu's in, 1.1-1.2

wrinkles in, 1

POP look, 1.1-1.2

possessions

asking for help with, 1

disorganization in, 1

disposing of, 1.1-1.2

donating of, 1

joy in, 1

as minefield, 1

of parents, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2

resentment over, 1

siblings and, 1.1-1.2

stimulating irritability or irrationality, 1

stuff-deciding for, 1

unearthing memories, 1

post-POP

abandonment in, 1

aging of self in, 1.1-1.2

anger in, 1 , 2

change in, 1

closure in, 1

differences in, 1.1-1.2

disappointment in, 1

discipline in, 1

forgiveness in, 1 , 2

former activities and interests in, 1

gratitude in, 1 , 2

grief in, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

healing in, 1.1-1.2 , 2

insights in, 1 , 2

joy in, 1

letting go in, 1.1-1.2

loneliness in, 1 , 2

loss in, 1 , 2 , 3.1-3.2 , 4.1-4.2

memories in, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3.1-3.2

new life in, 1

nostalgia in, 1

overview, 1.1-1.2

paperwork, 1

POP Family Coaching program in, 1

POP look and, 1

pride in, 1

questioning performance in, 1

recollections in, 1 , 2 , 3

reframing in, 1

relief in, 1 , 2

rest in, 1

self-pity in, 1

therapy and counseling in, 1

transformation in, 1

tribute in, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2

void in, 1.1-1.2

power

in forgiveness, 1

over parents, 1.1-1.2 , 2

of persuasion, 1

power of attorney, 1 , 2

of Wolf, J., 1

present-centered, 1

pride

in music publishing, 1

in post-POP, 1

privacy, 1

of parents, 1 , 2 , 3

of Wolf, L., 1

Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly (PACE), 1

psychotherapy, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

PT See physical therapy

public transportation, 1

purposefulness, 1 , 2

R

reason to live (RTL), 1

recollections, 1

positive, 1

in post-POP, 1 , 2 , 3

reconciliations

POP and, 1

with siblings, 1

reframing technique, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

regret, 1

do-overs for, 1

letting go of, 1 , 2.1-2.2

rejection, 1 , 2

parents and, 1 , 2 , 3

by Wolf, J., 1.1-1.2

relief

death as, 1

at death of spouse, 1

at end of POP, 1

at end of transitions, 1

pain, 1 , 2 , 3

in post-POP, 1 , 2

religion

services in ALF, 1

Wolf, J., and, 1

See also spiritual philosophy

repetition, 1 , 2

rereading, 1

resentment, 1

letting go of, 1

over intrusiveness, 1

over POParenting, 1.1-1.2

over possessions, 1

triggering, 1

of Wolf, J., 1

resilience, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4.1-4.2 , 5

resistance

to ALF, 1

to caregivers, 1.1-1.2 , 2

from parents, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

during POPcycle, 1

from Wolf, L., 1

resolution process, 1.1-1.2

resourcefulness, 1

rest, in post-POP, 1

Robbins, Tom, 1

role reversals, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

guidance through, 1

in information gathering, 1

in POP, 1 , 2 , 3

for Wolf, J., 1

for Wolf, L., 1

RTL See reason to live

rubber band system, 1.1-1.2 , 2

S

sacrifices, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3

sadness, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

airing of, 1

anger and, 1

goals and, 1

letting go of, 1 , 2

lifting of, 1

over memories, 1

over parents separating, 1

over residence move, 1

of Wolf, J., 1

safety

evaluating home for, 1

for parents, 1.1-1.2 , 2

in POPcycle, 1

TEAM POP determining, 1.1-1.2

sarcasm, 1

T

The Science of Mind (Holmes), 1 , 2.1-2.2

S

security

in ALF, 1

information gathering for, 1.1-1.2

self-care

for caregivers, 1

in POPcycle, 1

self-centeredness, 1

self-confidence, 1 , 2

self-destruction, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

self-neglect, 1

self-pity, 1

self-reliance, 1 , 2

self-sufficiency, 1.1-1.2

self-talk, 1.1-1.2 , 2

Seligman, Martin, 1

Shakespeare, William, 1.1-1.2

shame, 1 , 2

siblings

adopting, 1.1-1.2 , 2

avoiding pitfalls with, 1.1-1.2

desire for, 1.1-1.2 , 2

feuding among, 1

information gathering divided among, 1

love from, 1

POParenting designated by, 1

possessions and, 1.1-1.2

reconciliations with, 1

tributes from, 1

silver tsunami, 1

Sinatra, Frank, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

skilled nursing facility (SNF), 1 , 2

accommodations in, 1 , 2

agreements with, 1

care in, 1 , 2

companionship and care in, 1

government regulation of, 1

locating, 1.1-1.2

moving to and from, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6

for Wolf, L., 1 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6

Skype, 1 , 2 , 3

smart houses, 1

smartphone apps, 1

smell test, 1 , 2 , 3

snafu’s, 1.1-1.2

SNF See skilled nursing facility

social isolation, 1.1-1.2

Social Security, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

failure of, 1

informing of deaths, 1

problems, 1

spiritual philosophy, 1

letting go and, 1

for transitions, 1

spiritual work, 1

stress

during hospice, 1

in moving residences, 1 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4

in POP, 1

stuff-deciding, 1

suicide

attempts of Wolf, J., 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3 , 4

National Suicide Prevention Hotline, 1

by older adults, 1

sun-downing, 1 , 2

sunset time, 1 , 2

superbugs, 1

support systems, 1 , 2

survivor guilt, 1

T

the Talk

from parents, 1

from Wolf, J., 1.1-1.2 , 2

TBI See traumatic brain injuries

TEAM POP, 1

on aging-in-place, 1

alignment about hospice, 1

communication with, 1

conflicts in, 1

contact list, 1.1-1.2

determining safety, 1.1-1.2

family as, 1

formation of, 1.1-1.2 , 2

overseeing by, 1

questions for, 1.1-1.2

residences and, 1

skills of, 1.1-1.2

structuring, 1

thankfulness, 1 , 2

theme-centered events, 1

thoughtfulness, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4.1-4.2

three-step letting go process, 1

Tin Pan Alley, 1

The Tonight Show, 1

transitions

comfort-filling during, 1.1-1.2

as larger irony, 1

letting go during, 1.1-1.2

relief at end of, 1

spiritual philosophy for, 1

traumatic brain injuries (TBI), 1.1-1.2

tributes

for parents, 1 , 2.1-2.2

during POPcycle, 1

in post-POP, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2

from siblings, 1

for Wolf, J., 1

Twelve-Step recovery programs, 1 , 2

U

U-curve of happiness, 1

underreacting technique, 1 , 2

unpredictability, 1

V

vaccinations, 1

Valentino, Rudolph, 1

Veterans Administration, 1

videos, 1

visualization techniques, 1

vulnerability

managing, 1

of parents, 1 , 2 , 3

of seniors, 1 , 2 , 3

W

wake-up-calls, 1

watchfulness, 1.1-1.2 , 2

Wellesley College, 1.1-1.2

Winfrey, Oprah, 1 , 2

Wolf, Dick, 1

Wolf, Jack, 1 , 2 , 3.1-3.2 , 4 , 5

accomplishments of, 1 , 2

on aging, 1

in ALF, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3.1-3.2

ALF eviction, 1.1-1.2

appreciation for, 1

appreciation from, 1

asset structure of, 1.1-1.2

as bigger than life, 1.1-1.2

on book writing, 1

brain aneurysm of, 1.1-1.2 , 2

call for help, 1.1-1.2

caregiver for, 1.1-1.2

caregiving by, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3.1-3.2

celebrity status of, 1

coaching techniques for, 1.1-1.2

collections of, 1

on death, 1

death of, 1 , 2.1-2.2

dementia of, 1.1-1.2

depression of, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3

on detaching from wife, 1

disappointment of, 1

on doctors, 1 , 2

doctor visits, 1.1-1.2

end-of-life conversations with, 1

EST for, 1.1-1.2

exhaustion of, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

expressing gratitude, 1

failure to thrive in, 1 , 2

fall injury of, 1.1-1.2

family writing background, 1.1-1.2 , 2

fearlessness of, 1

feeding of, 1 , 2.1-2.2

friendships and, 1.1-1.2

generosity of, 1

goodbye from wife, 1.1-1.2

healing of, 1

as health enthusiast, 1.1-1.2

home of, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4.1-4.2 , 5

hospice for, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7

hospital discharge of, 1.1-1.2

on hospitalizations, 1 , 2

insurance of, 1

as internal and withdrawn, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

lack of spirit in, 1

likes and dislikes of, 1

liquid thickeners and, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

longevity specialist for, 1.1-1.2

married life, 1.1-1.2

meeting wife, 1 , 2

melting of, 1

memorabilia of, 1

memories of, 1

as Mr. Moderation, 1

needs of, 1

optimism of, 1 , 2

participating in new life, 1

peacefulness in, 1

pneumonia diagnosis, 1 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4.1-4.2 , 5 , 6

power of, 1

processing information, 1.1-1.2

reaction to California move, 1

rehab of, 1

rejection by, 1.1-1.2

relief of, 1 , 2

religion and, 1

rereading by, 1

resentment of, 1

role reversal for, 1

sadness of, 1

as songwriter and music publisher, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3.1-3.2 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8.1-8.2

story of, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3.1-3.2

suicide attempts, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

the Talk from, 1.1-1.2 , 2

tribute for, 1

visiting wife, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2

wife’s dependence on, 1.1-1.2

Wolf, Lillian, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6

abandonment and, 1 , 2.1-2.2

accomplishments of, 1

aggression of, 1 , 2.1-2.2

in ALF, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2

Alzheimer’s and, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6

appreciation from, 1

bingo and, 1 , 2

on book writing, 1.1-1.2

caregivers for, 1.1-1.2 , 2

childhood of, 1.1-1.2

coining POP, 1

collections of, 1

conference calls of, 1

confusion of, 1 , 2 , 3

credit status of, 1

crossword puzzles and, 1

death of, 1.1-1.2

dementia of, 1 , 2 , 3.1-3.2 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9

denial by, 1.1-1.2

dependence on husband, 1.1-1.2

as designated domestic organizer, 1.1-1.2

deteriorating health of, 1 , 2.1-2.2 , 3

doctor visits, 1.1-1.2

dressing of, 1.1-1.2

emotional challenges of, 1

exhaustion of, 1

falling and, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

fear of being “locked up”, 1

final hours of, 1.1-1.2

as foodie, 1

generosity of, 1

goodbye to husband, 1.1-1.2

happiness and, 1

home of, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4.1-4.2

hospitalizations of, 1 , 2 , 3

husband detaching from, 1

on independence, 1

labored breathing of, 1

likes and dislikes of, 1

longevity specialist for, 1.1-1.2

married life, 1.1-1.2

meeting husband, 1 , 2

MRSA and, 1 , 2

needs of, 1

office work by, 1

pacifying of, 1

as paranoid, 1

participating in new life, 1

persistence of, 1

physical therapy for, 1

pneumonia diagnosis, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4.1-4.2 , 5 , 6 , 7

post surgery nightmare, 1.1-1.2

privacy of, 1

processing information, 1.1-1.2

reaction to California move, 1.1-1.2 , 2 , 3

resistance from, 1

role reversal for, 1

rubber band system of, 1.1-1.2 , 2

SNF for, 1 , 2.1-2.2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6

story of, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2 , 3.1-3.2 , 4.1-4.2

visiting husband, 1.1-1.2 , 2.1-2.2

as widow, 1

yoga classes for, 1 , 2 , 3

Wolf triangle, 1.1-1.2

World War II, 1

www.ParentingOurParents.org, 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

Y

yoga, 1 , 2 , 3

Wolf, L., attending classes, 1 , 2 , 3