This book is about healing and hope. For children. For the children’s families. And for you, the early childhood educator. Trauma touches everyone. If left unchecked, it is likely to leave harm in its wake. That is why you must be vigilant and proactive, both with those you work with and yourself. In this chapter, we focus on how to prevent the ill effects of trauma from creeping into your own life. The self-care strategies highlighted here will help you remain strong and healthy enough to be the champion for children and families with a history of trauma that you want and need to be.
Self-care may not be the first thing that comes to mind when most people think of dealing with trauma. As an educator, your focus is first and foremost on the children you teach. You also work with family members to support children’s learning goals and consult with specialists, team with colleagues, meet with supervisors, and interact with members of the community. You devote a lot of time, energy, and professional responsibilities to many other people, but you may not devote enough time to yourself.
Being an early childhood educator can be both physically and mentally exhausting. Preschoolers and kindergartners are whirlwinds of energy, exploring, experimenting, and making discoveries. They depend on you to put them first, meeting their needs, and helping them attain their aspirations. At the same time, they bring joy as you see them mastering tasks, learning new concepts, and appreciating you for being such an important part of their lives. But there is no denying they can drain you of energy and leave you feeling spent.
When you add trauma to the equation, the chances that you will sometimes feel overwhelmed and find it difficult to go on increase dramatically. Children who have experienced trauma, as you have been reading and perhaps experiencing in your own program, often respond to it in ways that test your patience and push you to the limit. Children who are in survival mode can be aggressive, rude, uncooperative, and inattentive. And until you help children feel calm and safe and learn to self-regulate, you cannot focus on other kinds of learning.
If you have endured the same traumatic experiences as the children—a natural disaster, school violence, or national crises such as the COVID-19 pandemic—you may share similar fight-flight-freeze responses in your own life. You may be dealing with issues like the loss of personal property or even grieving over the injury or death of a loved one. Like a number of early childhood educators, you may also be a survivor of your own childhood traumas, which may or may not have been resolved. Hearing of the children’s experiences and fears can bring back unhappy memories that temporarily paralyze or haunt you.
Moreover, if your program or home is in a neighborhood characterized by violence or poverty, you are likely to experience the same ongoing traumas as the children you care for and teach. For you and them, traumas are an ongoing concern.
The early childhood profession can itself be a source of financial stress. Despite the recognized importance of early education to children’s lives, it is among the lowest-paying fields (Nicholson et al. 2020). Many early childhood teachers work supplemental jobs to earn a living wage. And even with frequent moonlighting, early childhood educators use government subsidies at more than double the rate of workers across all occupations (Austin et al. 2019).
The economic stresses of being an early childhood professional are felt hardest by women of color. Early childhood teachers are almost exclusively women, and unlike the K–12 and postsecondary educational sectors, where 75 percent of teachers are White, the early care and education sector comprises 40 percent people of color (Austin et al. 2019). In addition, Black and Latino early childhood educators are more likely to have the lower-paying assistant teacher jobs than are White educators. These circumstances have led the Center for the Study of Child Care Employment to proclaim, “The current early education system is built on racial inequities” (Austin et al. 2019).
All of these pressures can put chronic stress on you. Before you even begin your day with young children, you may already be feeling the economic squeeze of low wages and perhaps prejudice and racism as well. The selflessness it takes to work with, nurture, and teach young children is testament to the commitment those who have chosen this profession have.
The good news is that you can take action to counteract your own stress. This chapter explores the range of stress-related conditions early childhood educators may experience and offers practical ideas you can implement right away to ease the stress of your job. Stress does not have to take a toll when self-care is a priority. As the saying goes, you need to be well to do well. And by doing so, you can position yourself to enjoy teaching’s many rewards.
As society has learned more about trauma and its effects, researchers have begun to look at how educators who work with young children with trauma are affected by the experience. In doing so, they have defined and delineated how stress-related manifestations are triggered, what the symptoms are, and how they can be treated.
Burnout is probably the best known of these phenomena. Burnout is “a reaction to prolonged or chronic job stress [that] is characterized by three main dimensions: exhaustion, cynicism (less identification with the job), and feelings of reduced professional ability” (Freudenberger & Richelson 1980). Burnout can bring about physical, psychological, cognitive, and relational disturbances (Nicholson et al. 2020; Transitional Support, n.d.).
While you may experience work-related burnout, it is not directly tied to working with children with trauma. Rather, it is the cumulative effect of general occupational stress and is not related to the emotional toll of hearing about and helping children overcome trauma. However, burnout can sometimes occur in combination with secondary trauma conditions.
Secondary trauma conditions that stem from absorbing the impacts of others’ trauma go by several names: secondary traumatic stress, compassion fatigue, and vicarious traumatization (Bride, Radey, & Figley 2007). Empathy fatigue, empathic distress, and empathy distress fatigue are newer terms for health problems brought on by stress (Alber 2018). Although these conditions are all related, and many are alternate names for the same conditions, some nuances should be distinguished.
Secondary traumatic stress (STS) is the term most commonly found in the literature to describe the phenomenon brought on by helping someone exposed to trauma. Anyone involved in empathically listening to the trauma stories of children and their families is vulnerable to developing this condition. It takes only one indirect exposure to traumatic material to be affected. Hearing about the traumatic event—not experiencing it—causes the reaction.
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network describes the condition this way (NCTSN 2011):
Secondary traumatic stress is the emotional duress that results when an individual hears about the firsthand trauma experiences of another. Its symptoms mimic those of PTSD.… Individuals affected by secondary stress may find themselves re-experiencing personal trauma or notice an increase in arousal and avoidance reactions related to the indirect trauma exposure. They may also experience changes in memory and perception; alterations in their sense of self-efficacy; a depletion of personal resources; and disruption in their perceptions of safety, trust, and independence. (2)
A more recent and popular term is compassion fatigue, often perceived as a kinder, less stigmatizing way to describe this phenomenon. According to the NCTSN (2011) and the ACF (n.d.), the terms STS and compassion fatigue are interchangeable and refer to the same condition. In this book, we will refer to all secondary stress as compassion fatigue.
While the symptoms of compassion fatigue vary from individual to individual, they most typically involve empathic drain and chronic exhaustion. Other PTSD-like symptoms might include fear, guilt, anxiety, apathy, sense of hopelessness, sleep disturbances, nightmares and intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, short temperedness, and a denial of problems. These symptoms can further express themselves in compulsive behaviors (overspending, overeating, gambling) and drug use to mask feelings (ACF, n.d. a; Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project, n.d.; Gunn, n.d.; NCTSN 2011; Nicholson et al. 2020).
Everyone who teaches children with a trauma background is susceptible to developing compassion fatigue. Many believe it is an inevitable consequence of being a caring individual. Some early childhood educators, however, are more likely to develop compassion fatigue than others: women, new teachers, those who are most empathic by nature, and those who have their own unresolved personal trauma (NCTSN 2011; Ollison 2019).
Other terms for the condition of compassion fatigue use the word empathy. Halifax, who first adopted the term empathic distress, uses these terms “to describe what happens when someone is exposed repeatedly to the trauma of others.… For teachers, that feeling of deep empathy for a student, coupled with knowing that you’ve done all you can do—and the child is still perhaps still suffering—can cause considerable distress” (Alber 2018, 2).
All empathy-related terms can be used interchangeably and as substitutes for the terms secondary traumatic stress and compassion fatigue. Proponents of these empathy-related terms argue that since empathy is at the root of this stress-related condition, it is more accurate to use an empathy-related term to describe that connection. For now, though, compassion fatigue remains the more popular and accepted term.
Vicarious trauma also results from empathic engagement with children who have experienced trauma. This type of trauma can be described as “the emotional residue of exposure that [educators] have from working with people as they are hearing their trauma stories and become witnesses to the pain, fear, and terror that trauma survivors have endured” (American Counseling Association 2011).
What distinguishes vicarious trauma from compassion fatigue is that vicarious trauma leads to cognitive disruptions that have a long-lasting impact on one’s personal beliefs and world view (Quitangon 2019). This type of trauma response hits at the heart of your essence. It typically disrupts what makes you you—eating away at your sense of hope, spirituality, and meaning of life (Office of Justice Programs, n.d.).
Those who develop vicarious trauma typically overreact to events and project cynicism and pessimism. The condition not only influences what happens in the workplace but also has serious repercussions on an educator’s personal life and relationships. Those with vicarious trauma tend to experience a loss of purpose and joy (American Counseling Association 2011; Transitional Support, n.d.).
However, just as it is possible to overturn the signs of compassion fatigue, it is possible through self-care to develop resilience from vicarious trauma. You can even achieve what is known as vicarious transformation—an ability to find compassion satisfaction in work and restored meaning in life (Office of Justice Programs, n.d.).
If you experience secondary trauma, you are not alone. Even if you have no signs of compassion fatigue or vicarious trauma now, that doesn’t mean you are immune to developing one of these conditions. Stress can be cumulative. In addition, as situations change, stress levels fluctuate. The more you can attend to your own well-being now, the better you will weather whatever stressors arise later.
None of this reflects poorly on you or is something to be ashamed of. And it certainly doesn’t mean that you’re not a good teacher. To the contrary, those who experience compassion fatigue and vicarious trauma do so because they are deeply empathic and take children’s traumas to heart. All early childhood educators need to know this because it can happen to anyone and, most important, it can be effectively addressed.
Successfully treating and overcoming the symptoms of compassion fatigue and vicarious trauma is a two-step process: 1) make yourself aware that you have the condition and acknowledge it, and 2) make self-care an integral part of your routine. Though seemingly easy to do, these can be difficult tasks for many educators who feel they do not have the time or resources to care for themselves.
Once you understand the signs and symptoms of secondary trauma presented in this chapter, take them seriously. You might ask a colleague to help you assess your stress levels and share your thoughts with each other so that you each have an outside opinion. If you or a colleague suspects that being surrounded by trauma is affecting you, that should be your call to action.
To out find out how your work is affecting you both positively and negatively, consider searching online for the Professional Quality of Life Measure (ProQOL). This free 30-item questionnaire measures not only compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma, and burnout but also compassion satisfaction. This term can be defined as “the pleasure you derive from being able to do your work well” (Hudnall Stamm 2009). It refers to the positive feelings that characterize the work you do with children and the sense of fulfillment you experience in seeing children heal and thrive. Compassion satisfaction is most likely why you became a teacher in the first place. It’s what you want to achieve so that you are not only successful in the work you do but also proud of your success.
Remember, though, that results from an online quiz are not a substitute for a clinical diagnosis. This quiz will give you insight and help guide you as you decide which self-care options you should take. If you have concerns, though, talk with a qualified mental health professional.
Awareness will lead you to step two—taking action. Even if you feel that your risk of secondary trauma is currently low, it is still highly recommended that you use self-care as a preventive health measure.
Self-care is often categorized as self-indulgence. Many people regard it as pampering used by those without the self-discipline to “get on with things.” Even those who don’t think of self-care as selfish or wasteful frequently regard it as a low-priority or luxury activity.
Yet, self-care is basic to our everyday existence. “Self-care is the ‘oxygen’ that keeps us alive, healthy, and functioning at our best capacity. Self-care is BREATH!” (Grise-Owens 2019). Rather than view self-care as self-indulgence, try reframing it as self-respect.
Self-care involves incorporating activities aimed at restoring and improving your physical and emotional well-being into your everyday life. The NCTSN (2011) recommends focusing on cognitive-behavioral and mindfulness-based strategies for best results.
Listed below are 15 strategies targeted to help you heal from secondary stress and to fortify you for the future. Strategies 1, 5, 11, and 15 are considered integral to recovery and are starred. They have been recognized in the research literature as contributing to wellness, particularly in combatting compassion fatigue. When setting goals for yourself, we therefore suggest that you begin with these items. From the remaining 11 strategies, choose those that most appeal to you and that you are most likely to use habitually.
Make the strategies you select a part of your daily life. Most people find it helpful to start slowly. Begin with two or three strategies. Once they become routine, start adding others.
Strategy 15 helps you turn your personal self-care goals into an action plan. Charting your goals and monitoring your progress will help ensure that you are on a steady course toward compassion satisfaction.
This strategy could be called respect yourself because tending to your basic wellness needs should not be a favor or privilege you extend yourself but something you do every day to be your healthiest and best-functioning self. As a kindness to yourself and those you work with, attend to your physical, social, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs as best you can (Scott 2019). Here are some suggestions:
❯ Physical needs: Regularly eat nutritiously balanced meals; sleep adequately; exercise regularly; monitor and attend to your health needs, making and keeping needed doctor and dental appointments and taking any medications as prescribed.
❯ Social needs: Cultivate and maintain close friendships. Everyone has different social needs, but we all need to share others’ company in some capacity. Determine what your needs are and build time into your schedule to have face-to-face time with your friends that feels right for you.
❯ Mental health needs: Do activities to keep your mind sharp, such as work crosswords and other puzzles, read books, or research something you are interested in and passionate about. To be mentally healthy, you also need to be proactive. If you feel depressed, anxious, or otherwise troubled, talk about it with a doctor or therapist. (See Strategy 14 for more on this topic.) Treatment can make a world of difference.
❯ Emotional needs: Establish appropriate ways to process your emotions. Talk to someone close to you—a spouse, partner, relative, or friend—to air your feelings and talk problems through. Journal your feelings; seeing things written out sometimes gives a different slant to events. (See Strategy 9 for more on journaling.) Exercise, take baths, or spend time doing hobbies (see Strategy 10) that allow you to relax and refocus, such as painting. Remember that alcohol and other drugs can suppress your feelings rather than help you manage and lessen your distress. They may even intensify your emotional or physical pain.
❯ Spiritual needs: Nurturing your spirit involves doing things that bring meaning to your life and a connection with the world. It doesn’t have to involve religion, although it certainly can. Build in time for praying, meditating (see Strategy 5), or volunteering for a cause that enriches your soul (see Strategy 8).
It’s not always easy to turn off your thoughts about the important work you do once you leave for the day. To make your life less stressful, boundaries are needed. Challenge yourself to do the following:
❯ Leave your program on time one or two days a week.
❯ Leave your teacher bag at the program one or two days a week.
❯ Exercise directly after leaving the program.
❯ Treat yourself to something special once a month—a manicure, a special coffee, or a movie, for instance.
Once you make these actions a habit, try increasing the number of days a week you leave work on time without your teaching materials. Eventually this will become a habit. Try to use your time away from the program to focus on family, friends, and yourself. Being able to spend more energy on your family is bound to help repair the problems characteristic of compassion fatigue and vicarious trauma. And feeling better at home will energize you to be a better educator when you are at work.
Time management is related to adding balance to your life. Allot specific times in your daily calendar for work, family, social life, personal needs, chores, and pleasure, including alone time. Blocking time allows you to know in advance when you should gear things down and prepare to refocus on another activity. To see if you are comfortable with the way your day flows, take an online time management quiz.
It may sound like an odd self-care technique to stand up for your rights, needs, and wishes in ways that are respectful of both yourself and others. However, assertiveness, when appropriate, can increase your confidence, self-efficacy, and personal agency—all of which will help you feel less stressed and better about yourself and your work. Asserting yourself reduces stress and anger, promotes competence and the respect of others, and improves decision-making and coping skills (Mayo Clinic 2017).
Learn to say no. Because you work in a helping profession, you may feel obligated to be there when someone wants something from you—even when doing so is not in your best interests. Carol Rickard (2018), a “stressologist,” suggests that you regard your “no muscle” as you would a real muscle and realize that the more you exercise it, the stronger it will become. She suggests acknowledging both your desire and regret: “I would love to help; I am just not able to.” Or, “I wish I could, however, I can’t change my appointment.”
Many methods of addressing aggressiveness involve both spoken and body language. Remember that appropriate assertiveness is based on balance; aggressiveness is based on winning. Keep these pointers in mind (Mayo Clinic 2017; Taylor 2013):
❯ Value yourself, your rights, and your needs. Show self-confidence, but not self-importance.
❯ Make eye contact when you talk with others. This shows your interest in them and your desire to have two-way communication.
❯ Use posture to convey body language that carries the messages you want to send. Experts suggest adopting an upright and relaxed posture and leaning forward slightly toward the other person without infringing on their personal space. Try to maintain a neutral or positive facial expression. Practice how you want to convey your body language in front of a mirror or ask a friend or colleague to critique how you present yourself.
❯ Avoid being accusatory by using “I” statements. Rather than saying to someone, “You’re wrong,” try saying, “I disagree.” Instead of telling someone, “You make me angry,” try saying, “I feel frustrated.”
❯ Wait a bit before talking if you feel overly emotional. Give yourself time to calm down, so you don’t become angry or frustrated.
❯ Start where it’s safe. Practice being more appropriately assertive in low-risk situations such as with a spouse or close friend. Once you feel more comfortable, branch out to others. Eventually try your new communication skills at work, where more is on the line, including potential rewards.
Just as mindfulness can help children recover from trauma and better connect to their educators, it can also help adults overcome the impacts of compassion fatigue and vicarious trauma. In fact, mindfulness is recognized as one of the most successful strategies for counteracting the effects of compassion fatigue (NCTSN 2011).
Mindfulness modulates the structure of the brain (Manitoba Trauma Information & Education Centre, n.d. a). Over time, mindfulness practices build connections and slow down reactivity. Similar to what happens with children, through these changes in brain architecture, you develop increased emotional regulation and the ability to tolerate emotional challenges. The effects of mindfulness extend your ability to better accept professional and personal frustrations with relationships.
Mindfulness can also improve your work with children because it strengthens the part of your brain associated with interpreting emotions and allows you to compassionately experience others’ feelings, which enhances empathy. Educators who practice mindfulness have more positive teaching experiences than educators who don’t, seeing decreases in difficult student behaviors, decreases in negative interactions, and increased compliance among students (Singh et al. 2013). Mindfulness practice can also improve your well-being and reduces stress.
When educators make time to relax through mindful practices, they give their bodies and minds time to restore and heal from the day-to-day stressors they experience. An activity like taking deep breaths in and out is one example of a tool educators can use to slow down a racing body and mind and bring them back into the present moment.… Mindfulness approaches may help build a protective buffer for educators who face many daily stressors in their jobs. (Nicholson et al. 2020, 159)
Your mindfulness practice takes only as much time as you want to devote to it—anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours a day, though most people prefer doing short meditations or breathing exercises. And it costs nothing.
The Foundation for a Mindful Society (2019) suggests the following exercise as a starter for those who are just beginning a mindfulness practice:
1. Set aside some time. You don’t need a meditation cushion or bench, or any sort of special equipment to access your mindfulness skills—just time and space.
2. Observe the present moment as it is. The aim of mindfulness is not quieting the mind, or attempting to achieve a state of eternal calm. The goal is to pay attention to the present moment, without judgment.
3. Let your judgments roll by. When you notice judgments arise during your practice, make a mental note of them and let them pass.
4. Return to observing the present moment as it is. Our minds often get carried away in thought. That’s why mindfulness is the practice of returning, again and again, to the present moment.
5. Be kind to your wandering mind. Don’t judge yourself for whatever thoughts crop up. Just practice recognizing when your mind has wandered off, and gently bring it back.
This Foundation for a Mindful Society provides guidance on many meditations, including a compassion meditation and a guided meditation for easing into sleep (visit www.mindful.org). Look for free mindfulness apps to download to your smartphone or tablet. Many allow you to customize meditations and breathing exercises, and some, like UCLA Mindful, are available in both Spanish and English. Mindfulness has become such a popular tool that it is now considered a mainstream practice.
Study after study shows that being in nature reduces stress hormones and improves the immune system (Gleiser 2018). Benefits, including improved memory and attention spans, increased levels of serotonin (the feel-good neurotransmitter), improved performance on tasks requiring sustained focus, and increased energy levels, begin accruing after spending as little as 20 minutes in nature (Biemans 2018; Green 2011).
Shinrin-yoku, or forest bathing, as described in Chapter 6, is particularly restorative. You can enjoy the same documented benefits of forest bathing in something as simple as a walk in a park. Just being outside in nature has positive effects on the brain:
A walk in the park may soothe the mind and, in the process, change the workings of our brains in ways that improve our mental health.… City dwellers have a higher risk for anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses than people living outside urban centers. Various studies have found that urban dwellers with little access to green spaces have a higher incidence of psychological problems than people living near parks and that city dwellers who visit natural environments have lower levels of stress hormones immediately afterward than people who have not recently been outside. (Reynolds 2015)
As more of the population lives in urban areas (Gleiser 2018), deliberately choosing to spend time in nature is more and more needed. In fact, a term has been coined to describe the condition of a disconnection from nature—psychoterratic (Livni 2019). Having this condition brings even more stress.
Try to schedule time each day to be in nature. Whether hiking, forest bathing, walking through an arboretum, sitting in a park, throwing pebbles into a creek, or just being outside in the fresh air enjoying the birds, squirrels, and flowers, being outdoors will reduce stress and improve your mood. If you live in an area without easy or safe access to an outdoor area, consider spending time either at the beginning or end of the day or during your scheduled break time in the outdoor area where you take the children in your program to play.
Even looking at nature photos provides benefits (Green 2011). According to Dr. Marc Berman of the Rotman Research Institute in Toronto, staring at nature photos in a quiet room for 10 minutes provides a cognitive boost.
Appreciating what you have received, both tangible and not, helps you focus on what you have—not what you lack (Colker & Koralek 2019). Gratitude is also an excellent way to enhance self-care. “Practicing gratitude on a regular basis has been associated with enhanced optimism, better sleep, fewer physical ailments, and lower levels of anxiety and depression” (van Woerkom 2019).
As van Woerkom notes, numerous research studies have established a link between practicing gratitude and lowering stress and enhancing mental health. In particular, gratitude has been linked to helping individuals overcome trauma and PTSD. Gratitude has the power to reduce toxic emotions such as envy, regret, and resentment and replace them with feelings of satisfaction and happiness. It can decrease aggression, improve self-concept, and make people feel good about themselves. Gratitude can also help you do your job better, as it increases decision-making capabilities, enhances productivity, and increases empathy (L!fe Solutions Counseling 2018).
To include gratitude in your self-care agenda, try some of the following activities:
❯ Write a thank-you note to someone important in your life, perhaps someone you have never thanked.
❯ Keep a gratitude journal. Spending just five minutes a day writing down things you are grateful for will increase your long-term well-being by more than 10 percent daily (L!fe Solutions Counseling 2018).
❯ Count your blessings. Schedule time to sit down each week to reflect on all the good things in your life and think about how they make you feel.
❯ Practice a gratitude meditation. Doing this just one time can instill feelings of gratitude (Rao & Kemper 2017). You can find a gratitude meditation that suits you online.
Similar to practicing gratitude is being able to feel productive. This can range from going through your closet and throwing out the junk that has accumulated to writing that article you always wanted to and submitting it for publication. Think about your mental to-do list and all those projects you’d like to accomplish but never had time for. Which one can you start today?
Many people feel good about themselves when they reach out to others. Giving back to one’s community through volunteer work can bring inner satisfaction. Your first inclination might be to help children or support people experiencing problems. But instead of extending your professional life into volunteer work and risking further compassion fatigue, consider entirely different opportunities such as volunteering at a museum or at a local theatre, cooking meals at a soup kitchen, or running a book drive for your public library.
If you feel strongly about a public issue or want to support a politician or party, these organizations crave volunteers. Lend your talents to letter-writing campaigns, stuffing envelopes, or going door to door on their behalf. Taking action on behalf of your beliefs will make you feel better about yourself and help make your values become a reality.
Another way of feeling good about yourself is to enhance your spirituality. You might do this by attending religious services or doing activities that will enrich your inner self. Spiritual self-care, though difficult to define, involves reflection and introspection on how to best have a life well lived. The Chopra Center (Williams 2019) describes it this way:
A practice in spiritual self-care quiets the mind and helps to calm the turbulence within, leaving space to begin feeling and honoring what your heart yearns for, and having the courage to take the necessary action for good change. Your body and emotions can’t lie; when you are truly happy and thriving you will know it at your core.
Many people find that putting their thoughts down on paper or a computer helps them see things more clearly. This low-cost activity can be done anywhere.
Research has shown that just the act of recording one’s thoughts has positive results, particularly for those who have PTSD. It not only helps users find an acceptable way of expressing anger and frustration, but reduces body tension, and restores focus. Nicholson and colleagues (2020) ascribe these benefits to journaling for early childhood educators who use this technique:
❯ When you translate your experiences into “graspable” language, you free yourself from mentally being tangled in traumas.
❯ Journaling creates a “pause” button that prevents impulsive reactions.
❯ It increases empathy for yourself and others.
❯ It increases self-awareness of sensations, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.
❯ Journaling helps you see all of the characters in your story, not just yourself. (151)
Journaling can also help users reflect on their feelings in such a way that they can focus on finding something good in all the negative feelings they are experiencing. This phenomenon is known as post-traumatic growth—the ability to find meaning in and have positive life changes following a traumatic event (Tull 2020). Much as the heart of your work with children is healing-centered, post-traumatic growth is your way of triumphing over compassion fatigue.
While there is no right or wrong way to journal—only what works for you—you might search online for suggestions on using journaling to address stress and trauma. For example, check out the article “How Journaling Can Help with PTSD” by Matthew Tull (2020) to identify steps you might employ. Over time, you can go back and look at your entries to see how your thinking and feelings have evolved.
Your first thought on reading this may be that hobbies are frivolous—indulgences for those with extra time and money to burn. Or you may wonder how with your plate so full you could possibly squeeze in time for a hobby. But hobbies have a lot more to offer than may be apparent at first glance.
In most enthusiasts’ minds, “hobbies are a corner of our existence over which we have the impression of control, a sphere in which we feel we can achieve a kind of mastery usually denied to us in our wider personal and professional lives” (Preston 2016).
Hobbies belong in your self-care regimen for several important reasons (Brook 2018, Moments for “Me” 2017; Skilled at Life, n.d.; Singh 2014):
❯ Hobbies provide an escape from everyday stresses. They let you relax and seek pleasure in activities that aren’t associated with work, chores, or other responsibilities.
❯ Hobbies contribute to psychological well-being. One study found that workers recovered more quickly from the demands of their working lives if they engaged in hobbies in their free time (Eschleman et al. 2014). Likewise, the study found that “the more people engaged in their hobbies, the more likely they were to come up with creative solutions to problems on the job. And no matter what the hobby was, these people were also more likely to go out of their way to help co-workers” (Singh 2014).
❯ Hobbies provide a sense of purpose in life beyond your work life.
❯ Hobbies can improve memory (reading or doing crossword puzzles), tap into your creative side (painting, woodworking, or cake decorating), and develop flexibility and physical skills (yoga, hiking, or mountain climbing).
❯ Hobbies can help your social life and create a bond with others.
❯ Hobbies build self-efficacy and increase confidence and self-esteem as you take pride in your accomplishments.
❯ Hobbies provide experiences and stories you can share with others as well as specialized knowledge you can teach to others.
Hobbies don’t have to require a lot of money (think reading, running, playing in a band or singing in a chorus, writing poetry) and demand only as much time as you feel comfortable investing.
If you don’t currently pursue any hobbies, think about what interests you most—maybe something you enjoyed in childhood, like swimming and playing soccer, or gardening or painting. Or perhaps there’s something you’ve never tried that you always wished you could do, like scrapbooking or learning to play bridge. Give yourself permission to learn how. Putting time in your schedule to follow a passion will reinvigorate you and build your confidence. You’ll become a re-energized teacher.
Learning how to reframe pessimistic thoughts is known as cognitive restructuring. Part of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), this can be done at home and has been shown to be effective in treating depression and anxiety. The NCTSN (2011) suggests that combining this strategy with mindfulness may be particularly effective in addressing compassion fatigue. We starred this strategy for this reason as one you should consider adding to your self-care regimen.
As noted in Chapter 4, optimism can be learned (Seligman 2005). By going through the ABCDE model outlined in that chapter, where it was presented as being helpful to use with children, you can learn to reframe your own negative thinking (Hall & Pearson 2004).
When you have an experience that triggers pessimistic thoughts, use self-talk to walk your thoughts from A (adverse event) to E (energization) (based on Seligman 2005, 2007):
A = An adverse event occurs.
B = You immediately have some negative beliefs and thoughts about the adverse event.
C = You experience the consequences of having these thoughts and beliefs, including negative emotions.
D = You intentionally dispute your pessimistic beliefs.
E = You feel energized when you successfully dispute your negative thoughts and realize that the situation is not as you initially believed.
It will take more than one attempt at this process to transform your pessimism into optimism. Practice this exercise every time you start thinking negatively about yourself, your teaching, and your situation. Stress and trauma have a way of making everything seem hopeless. However, if you make a conscious effort to rebut those negative thoughts, you can transform your outlook to one that is hopeful. With time and effort, reframing beliefs, thoughts, and emotions is possible and can become your regular way of thinking.
When you make cognitive restructuring a part of your self-care routine, you will make inroads against the symptoms of compassion fatigue and position yourself to be a role model for children on thinking positively. Learning to think optimistically also has great personal benefits, including better physical and emotional health, longer life, and greater career satisfaction (Colker & Koralek 2019; Seligman 2005). Optimism also leads to greater self-efficacy, problem-solving skill, and the ability to learn from your mistakes (Seligman 2007). If you reframe the negative thinking associated with trauma into positive thoughts, you’ll be a happier, more satisfied person.
Peer support groups are effective for managing “the weight of trauma” (Lander 2018). In the same way you might meet with colleagues to form curriculum committees, plan professional development events, and confer on the best approaches for individual children and families, you can formally band together to address mental health needs. Though it takes effort and coordination, you’ll all benefit from supporting each other. Here are some suggestions for getting started:
❯ Establish a regular meeting time, perhaps weekly, biweekly, or monthly. Let your supervisor know of your plans and ask whether they can facilitate the group’s operation.
❯ Find a meeting space where you will be undisturbed.
❯ Become familiar with the triggers and symptoms of secondary stress so you know what to watch for in yourself and your colleagues.
❯ Arrange to have a mental health professional either in attendance or on standby for support, if possible.
❯ Focus the sessions as check-ins with each other as to how you feel and how your colleagues think you are faring.
❯ Actively find ways to support each other in self-care. You might wish to join each other for some fun out-of-school activities where you make talking about work off limits.
❯ Revisit your progress from meeting to meeting, deciding which approaches work best for everyone.
❯ Be available for mutual support between scheduled meeting times.
Practicing TIC requires reflection. If you are part of a school or program in which you are supervised and the program does not already provide reflective supervision, advocate for access to this important support.
Reflective supervision, much like reflective teaching, involves active listening and thoughtful questioning by both educators and their supervisors. This technique has been used effectively with educators who are experiencing the effects of secondary trauma. The organization Zero to Three (2016) describes the practice this way:
Reflective supervision is not therapy. It is focused on experiences, thoughts, and feelings directly connected with the work.… The role of the supervisor is to help the supervisee to answer her own questions and to provide the support and knowledge necessary to guide decision-making. In addition, the supervisor provides an empathetic, nonjudgmental ear to the supervisee. Working through complex emotions in a “safe place” allows the supervisee to manage the stress she experiences on the job. It also allows the staff person to experience the very sort of relationship that she is expected to provide for [children] and families.
To work as intended, the process needs to be fully collaborative and ongoing. With the emphasis on reflection, educators have an opportunity to determine how they think they are doing—both what’s working well and where they could use some support. Both educators and supervisors weigh in on how trauma is affecting educators and what other types of self-care might be warranted. Reflective supervision thus builds teamwork, respect, and stability while enhancing mental health.
Just better tending to your basic needs and adding some balance to your life may be all you need to feel re-energized. However, if you feel angry all the time, want to run away, or feel you cannot go on any longer, a licensed mental health professional can help you develop an appropriate strategy for moving forward. It is critical to get professional help if you feel like you are unable to function or perform the basic activities of daily living—including your job. Even if you are not at a crisis point, getting professional help can help you sort through what is happening.
Always remember that there is absolutely no shame in seeking help. It is a sign of strength rather than weakness to recognize that counseling can help you better process the stories and voices of trauma you deal with daily.
Once you are aware of the many self-care techniques you might try, the next step is to develop an action plan. This activity has been starred because you need a self-care plan to help you make these activities a part of your daily routine. By mapping out a plan for implementing the activities you want to focus on, you will have a blueprint for making self-care a part of your life.
Ask yourself some reflective questions:
❯ How do I cope with stress now?
❯ What do I do for self-care now?
❯ How is my current self-care program (if you have one) working for me?
❯ What do I like that I am doing and plan to continue?
❯ What do I dislike? Are there things I am doing now that I’m likely to quit in the future?
❯ How do my current self-care activities relate to the list of strategies presented above? Is there overlap?
❯ Assuming that I will work on strategies 1, 5, and 11 first, which other ones do I think are most important and ones that I might do?
❯ Are there some activities that I will never do that I should cross off this list right now?
❯ What are my top choices from the remaining 11 strategies?
❯ What factors would help me make my top strategies an ongoing part of my lifestyle?
The next step is to turn the strategies you want to try into goals you can realistically accomplish. While you will eventually want to make goals for the three suggested activities (1, 5, and 11) in addition to your other top choices, we suggest that you begin slowly—with only two or three goals to start. This will keep you from feeling overwhelmed and allow you to adjust as needed. After you have incorporated these first few goals into your routine and are seeing benefits from doing them, add another goal or two.
In formulating your self-care goals, we suggest using an approach developed in 1981 in the management field—SMART goals (Doran 1981). SMART goals are expressed in a way that is clearly articulated and can be readily assessed. This is because they are
❯ Specific
❯ Measurable
❯ Assignable
❯ Realistic
❯ Time related
Here’s how this might work. Suppose you want to develop goals for these three strategies you have selected to begin your self-care regimen:
Strategy 1: Be kind to yourself
Strategy 5: Cultivate mindfulness
Strategy 9: Try journaling
Now look at each strategy one at a time, beginning with Strategy 1. While you might ultimately have several SMART goals under Strategy 1 related to such things as nutrition, sleep, exercise, spending more time with friends, or going to church more regularly, let’s assume for the purpose of this exercise that you feel pretty good about most of these areas, but you know you could use more exercise and need to get outside more often for some fresh air. Your knee’s not in great shape, but you still like to take walks, and you think you might be able to convince your partner to accompany you—at least some of the time.
With these considerations in mind, you can formulate a SMART goal by thinking about these SMART-related questions (Haughey 2014; MindTools, n.d.):
❯ Specific: What exactly are you trying to accomplish? Why is this goal important to you? What resources or limits are involved?
❯ Measurable: How much effort will it take? How many people are involved? How will you know you accomplished it?
❯ Assignable: Who will do it?
❯ Realistic: Is this worthwhile? What results can realistically be achieved given available resources?
❯ Time related: When specifically can it be achieved? What can I do today?
Based on the considerations already mentioned, a SMART goal for Strategy 1 might be “I will take a 30-minute walk on Saturdays and Sundays.”
For Strategy 5, you might come up with “Each night I will meditate for five minutes before I go to bed.”
A SMART goal for Strategy 9 could be “Three times a week, I will spend 15–20 minutes writing down my thoughts about how I feel at the end of my workday on my smartphone.”
Once you have your goals written down, display them on your refrigerator or post them on a bulletin board in your home. We suggest that you also keep track of them more formally by using a weekly chart to track your progress. Having a chart will allow you to assess your ability to incorporate these goals into your daily life—which is the point of having measurable goals. Review your progress at the end of each week and suggest modifications for the coming week. Once you get into a flow that works for you, you may need to use the chart only to record and monitor your use of the self-care goals and strategies.
By taking a proactive approach to self-care, you can ensure that you are teaching at the top of your game. Feeling confident and assured, you can work with children and families to achieve post-traumatic growth.
With your healing-centered interventions, perseverance, and compassionate teaching, the effects of trauma can be turned around—for the children you teach, their families, and you. Children’s histories do not have to be the prologue to the rest of their lives. As trauma therapist and author Karen Saakvitne proclaims, “Everyone has a right to have a present and future that are not completely dominated and dictated by the past” (Klinic Community Health Centre 2013, 4). You can be the change agent who gives children that opportunity to rewrite their life story with promise and hope.