Maintenance Leads to Bliss
The first step in anything is the hardest. Since you are holding this book, you have already taken that step and hopefully, have begun practicing. Now comes one more challenge: maintaining the practice so your life is sustainable with happiness and health. You may have already figured out how to incorporate all we have learned so far into your life, but here are a few more tips to make it last.
Create a Healthy Environment
The more you set yourself up for success, the more it will happen. You need to set your entire life in a new direction. When shopping for groceries, make sure you only buy the foods that are good for you. Remove foods that are not good for you from your home, so you will not be tempted.
When meeting a friend, consider going for a walk together rather than sitting at a café or a bakery. Even I would not be able to resist a chocolate croissant! This is also true for going to a bar. It’s okay to do it sometimes, but what if you meet your friend for a meditation event, a walk, a homemade dinner, or herbal tea? The options are limitless. You may need to introduce your friends to some of your practices and food choices, or you may need to add some new friends who share your practices.
It happens to many yoga students that after they change to the yoga lifestyle, they find a new circle of friends to match this new lifestyle. Since some of their previous friendships may have been all about drinking and going to bars, or other activities that may not fit in their lives anymore, they found new friends that were more aligned with their yoga lifestyle, or “converted” their old friends into the yoga lifestyle too. Now that you wake up earlier, you will need friends that understand your new healthy lifestyle. You may find them at the yoga studio or meditation center. Life is in constant change and so are you. You will have to not only be happy with some new lifestyle changes, but also let go of some old ones that do not serve you.
As much as you can, cook your meals at home, rather than go out to a restaurant. You will be in control of what and how much you eat. Cooking not only lets you choose the ingredients, but you also make the food yourself with your own care and love. The practice of taking care of yourself is important and empowering.
Have your yoga and meditation space ready to go or easy to set up. It should be as easy as possible to roll out your mat or pull out your meditation cushion. Don’t give your mind time to find excuses for why it is too much of a hassle to do your practice.
Remember to shut down all possible distractions when you practice—phone, TV, computer, etc. You may even need to tell your family you are going to do your practice, and they will need to learn that this is your special time. You can also educate your friends about what you are doing. Maybe they will join you, or at least learn to respect what you need. Surround yourself with positive, supportive, and encouraging people!
When your life and environment are set up, it is more inviting to practice. If you love flowers, place them where you will sit for meditation. If you are disturbed by clutter, straighten up your space before you practice; otherwise when it’s time to practice, you will find yourself spending time on creating the space rather than practicing.
Review of Creating a Healthy Environment
The Positive Box
In Hebrew there is a saying: “Life and death are a matter of the tongue,” which means that what you say is as powerful as what you do. Say, “I want to go to yoga,” not “I should go to yoga.” This will create the right attitude towards what you do. Give a positive attitude to the things that you know will really make you feel better, even if right now they may seem a bit challenging.
When you are doing or experiencing something, even if it does not feel great but you know it is good for you, chose your words from the “positive box.” Choose to see the glass half full and use positive adjectives. In almost every situation, it is possible to see the good, and when we state the good with words, we reinforce it. Of course, it is possible to simply be fully present with the experience and not need to describe it at all, but for most of us it is too hard to be fully mindful and present; thus it is better to choose from the positive box until you get to the point where you simply are.
Our minds are very powerful, and our speech and thoughts are manifestations of our minds, as well as reinforcements to what is already there. So when you speak in a certain way, you are reinforcing that same attitude. Just by choosing to say things differently, you can create change in your mind and change the way you feel.
A classic example is a long-held yoga pose such as hanuman asana (splits pose). Most people are fine in this pose for a few moments. Then the mind comes rushing in with stories. At times I could hear my mind say, “This is probably enough,” or “How do I know I am not getting injured? This is intense!” Or it might say, “Did three minutes already pass? This hurts!”
My practice is to go back to the breath and even add a soft smile. If my mind wants to be active, I breathe in a sense of gratitude that my hamstrings are opening—gratitude that they are stiff from all the hard work they went through, such as running, biking, and much more. I feel the gratitude, the soft smile, and the calm breath. I can even say out loud, “Thank you; this is exactly what I need.”
Review of Reinforcing the Good
Yoga Master Reminders
Sense reminders are powerful. Just like seeing a certain food makes us want it, or smelling something can create a craving, seeing something symbolic of where you want to be can be helpful. Two powerful reminders are notes and symbolic objects.
A note may simply be straightforward. You can make a list of what you are practicing, use a calendar, or just write a few sentences that are your current intentions. Put it somewhere where you see it all the time, like your fridge or bathroom mirror. You can even use a bunch of sticky notes with simple intentions put up in strategic locations. For example, on your computer: “Take a deep breath before starting to work.” On the fridge: “Enjoy your greens!” On your dashboard: “Smile with every red light.” On your bathroom mirror: “Stay present.” On your alarm clock: “Smile.”
A symbolic object can simply be a photo of a calm person like a Buddha, a saint, a mermaid, or even a photo of serene nature to remind you of the state of mind you want to be in. It can be a fresh flower placed on your worktable to remind you of your attitude for the day.
The important thing is that you surround yourself with support. Sometimes it will come from other people, and sometimes it will simply be happy reminders to yourself of what you need to do or the attitude you need to have.
Review of the Support System
Don’t Stress About It
It is easy to get anxious about all you have to do. The more anxious you get and the more you think about what you have to do, the more you create an expectation and fear of not being able to get it done. Once you have an expectation that cannot be met, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and possibly guilt.
The more regular you become with your practice, the easier it gets to just keep it going. If you do find that you have skipped a day of practice or you had an extra brownie at your friend’s house or your yoga practice was only thirty minutes for the past three days, it is better to set an intention to adjust what you can from now on, than to beat yourself up for not doing or acting the way you think you should have. When you feel badly about the way you are, you are planting a negative imprint in your mind. This creates a pattern, a seed that will become a rotten fruit.
Look at what is or was, decide how you can improve the situation, and just do it. Simply take the action needed to make the change. We do need to recognize what works for us, and what doesn’t, but we do not need to become the angry schoolmaster that punishes the bad student. Practice with delight and joy, knowing that this is good for you!
Review on How to Be Anxiety Free
Being Content: Encouragement
We already spoke about doing the best that you can and being okay with where you are. This is one of the key elements of happiness and total health. There is so much you CAN do, so much you know, so much you have. Remember not to compare yourself to others or even to how you were in the past, but rather be happy about all that you have now.
Keep practicing gratitude, and maybe add some daily practices of self-thanking. Thank yourself every time you do something that is good for you. Thank you, Doron, for eating a salad. Thank you for not choosing the ice cream. Thanks for resisting TV and doing pranayama instead. Thank you for going to sleep a bit earlier—now I can get up early enough to do my yoga practice. Keep encouraging yourself to do the right thing, and give yourself hugs for what you do.
Some people appreciate hugs, while others appreciate a visual sense of accomplishment. You can have your yoga master calendar on the fridge and mark a nice star next to each practice completed. This is a great way to keep you on track.
Review of Self-Encouragement
Collaboration
It is not always easy to get motivated to practice or to eat healthy food. Most of us find it easier to dress nicely, behave in proper ways, or try harder with our physical practice if someone else is present. Whether we care about what others think or not, we feel a bit of a need to demonstrate the “right” way of living, or we are simply more committed when someone else is involved.
Find a friend or a partner that will join you in some of the activities—a regular yoga buddy or a healthy lunch friend, for example. You can have a meditation group or just another friend that meets with you twice a week, and during those times practice for thirty or forty minutes instead of the fifteen minutes you do on your own. Zen monasteries live on the concept of sangha, a group of like-minded people that become like a family in sharing their practices.
Choose your friends wisely. See if you can find someone that is at least as committed as you, maybe even more—a good friend for walking or other friends for playing group sports. This is why people go to yoga classes, meet friends for hikes, and join meditation groups. We are social beings, and most of us will do more when in a social environment.
Review of Collaborating Tips
It is easy to start projects, take on a diet, buy a new book, or talk about our intention. But maintaining the initial effort is not as easy. Make sure you do create a healthy environment, have a support system, collaborate with others, and especially be content with what you are doing, and don’t stress about it. The yoga lifestyle is realistic and possible, but you need to keep giving it the love and attention it deserves, it will be worth your while.