Parisian Jesuit Dominique Bouhours was a linguist and grammarian whose last words are the apogee of passion for precise language: “I am about to — or I am going to — die; either expression is correct.” Bouhours’s devotion to clear usage may have been extreme, but attempting to be a public speaker without a knowledge of and feeling for words is like trying to be a chef without caring about the quality of your ingredients.
A master chef will insist on using only the freshest ingredients while employing the sharpest knives. A speaker on the path to mastery will discard rancid clichés and slice away habitual interjections in order to serve her audience fresh, sharp turns of phrase.
In the kitchen the quality of fish, meat, and produce affects the digestibility and tastiness of the meal. In the conference room or auditorium, the words you use will make a difference in the effect you have on your audience, producing either confusion and indigestion or clarity and nourishment.
Professional speakers delight in finding just the right word, phrase, or metaphor to express what we wish to say, and we understand that skill with words reflects and supports clear thinking.
One of the simplest and most powerful secrets behind effective public speaking is continually refining your ability to speak well by bringing attention to words and using them effectively.
Here are three ways to improve your skill with words:
1. Eliminate the inessential.
2. Develop your vocabulary.
3. Listen to great speakers, and read great writers.
Let’s take a look at each of these concepts.
The difference between being perceived as a thought leader and being thought of as a moron is often a function of what you choose not to say. When you use clichés, habitual interjections such as like, you know, and um, and when you speak in jargon that your audience doesn’t know, you are communicating a lot about your intelligence, character, and empathy. Although every now and then one can justify sharing a well-chosen expletive, repeating curse words doesn’t strengthen your case, make you more authentic, or enhance the way others perceive you.
Lack of originality, expressed through the overuse of meaningless or uninteresting phrases, is energy depleting to both you and your audience. If you allow your speech and writing to be dominated by clichés instead of articulating what you want to say in your own words, you will dull your mind and compromise your authority. Consistent effort to use lively, clear language will help you cultivate creativity and authenticity while avoiding mindlessness and mediocrity.
As French wordsmith Gérard de Nerval observed, “The first man who compared a woman to a rose was a poet, the second, an imbecile.” Novelist Martin Amis emphasizes that to write well one must declare a “war against cliché.” He notes, “All writing is a campaign against cliché. Not just clichés of the pen but clichés of the mind and clichés of the heart. When I dispraise, I am usually quoting clichés. When I praise, I am usually quoting the opposed qualities of freshness, energy, and reverberation of voice.”
The same is true for speaking. Clichés are a substitute for thinking. Overreliance on hackneyed phrases dulls your wits.
Here are a few examples heard both recently and repeatedly over the years:
“Here’s a download of awesome life hacks.”
“Let me run it up the flagpole to see if everyone buys in to the notion that this is low-hanging fruit.”
“I have limited bandwidth and I’m basically out of pocket this week, so let’s circle back; ping me and we will sync up so we can take it to the next level.”
“To be perfectly transparent, at the end of the day, it is what it is.”
These phrases, and many like them, have become ubiquitous.
Eliminating clichés requires self-awareness and vigilance. When you notice that you are about to use a hackneyed phrase, pause for a moment and think about what you really intend to say.
For example, instead of: “Here’s a download of awesome life hacks.”
You might say: “I’d like to share some exciting ideas to improve your quality of life.”
Instead of: “Let me run it up the flagpole to see if everyone buys in to the notion that this is low-hanging fruit.”
You might say: “I’d like to consult my colleagues to see if they agree that we can accomplish this with minimal expense and effort.”
Instead of: “I have limited bandwidth and I’m basically out of pocket this week, so let’s circle back; ping me and we will sync up so we can take it to the next level.”
You might say: “I’m sorry, but I’m too busy this week. Can we please arrange something for next week? I’m excited about working together.”
Instead of: “To be perfectly transparent, at the end of the day, it is what it is.”
You might say: Nothing.
When asked, “Is sloppy communication due to ignorance or apathy?” legendary columnist, linguist, and wit William Safire quipped, “I don’t know and I don’t care.” If you do care and you do want to know, then keep these questions in mind before you speak:
What precisely do I intend to express? (And asking “what?” implies that there’s a “why” — an intelligent reason for your expression. Or as forensic linguist Tammy Gales asks, “So what? Why should I care about what you’re saying?”)
Is there a simpler, clearer way to say it? Thoughtful and persistent contemplation of these questions will guide you to clarify your thinking and discover your own wellspring of originality. When you free yourself from the habitually unoriginal use of language, you discover your true wit.
But, like, you know, I wouldn’t get too wound up about clichés. Don’t sweat the small stuff! For all intents and purposes, clichés are kind of like business as usual, if you know what I mean. Frankly, when push comes to shove, on a level playing field, they’re par for the course. When it comes to meaningless drivel, at the end of the day we will have come full circle, but of course if you hope to take your speaking skill to the next level, that is neither here nor there.
Overusing clichés isn’t a sin, but it’s also not a cause for admiration. As the fellow who couldn’t pronounce “Armageddon” commented, “It’s not the end of the world.”
Speakers on the path to mastery cultivate awareness of clichés and become sensitive to the effect words have on their audiences. Some expressions are notorious for the negative response they generate. Here are ten of the worst.
Inspired by the Oxford University list of the top ten most irritating phrases, and by humorist Brandon Specktor, who has compiled a similar ranking for Reader’s Digest, here are my nominations.
10. It is what it is. Everything is what it is. Perhaps some people say this in a feeble attempt to convey an existential perspective. There’s a whiff of a Niebuhrian, Zen-like sentiment here, as though the user would like to say, “It’s important that we accept the things we can’t change.” A darker interpretation is offered by the Urban Dictionary, which interprets it as a euphemism for a sense of resignation and helplessness in the face of seemingly unchangeable circumstances.
9. At the end of the day. This one was used seven times in a recent segment of ESPN’s SportsCenter. A weak substitute for other anemic phrases such as “When push comes to shove” or “In the final analysis” or “When all is said and done.” One of the Urban Dictionary’s top definitions is “Rubbish phrase used by many annoying people.” The only legitimate usage of “at the end of the day” is when you are referring to something that takes place at dusk. Otherwise, discard this twaddle. Ultimately, you’re better off using the word ultimately.
8. At this moment in time / In this day and age / In the current climate. These are all vapid ways to say “now.”
7. Honestly / Candidly / Frankly / Let me be frank / Let me be transparent. Using any of these implies that the speaker is making an exception from their customary practice of dishonesty, obfuscation, and corruption.
6. Thanks in advance / Thank you for your time. The first is often used as a euphemistic, corporate way of saying “Do this or else.” If you mean “I would be grateful if...,” followed by your request, then please just say that. The second might be intended to convey appreciation for the attention, care, or wisdom you may have received in an interaction. It is so much better to say, “Thank you for listening, or caring, or sharing your wisdom.” Thank you for your time is bland and almost insulting. If all you received from the other person was their time, then effectively you received nothing. The time would’ve passed whether or not this person was in your presence. So if anything of value took place, identify it and be precise in expressing your gratitude.
5. Hack. The word hack is hackneyed. It is no longer edgy or cool to use this word, which refers to the act of illegally breaking into another person’s computer system, as a shortcut for saying shortcut.
4. Everything happens for a reason / If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. In Muslim cultures people often punctuate any statement about an action or plan for the future with Inshallah, meaning “If it be the will of God.” “Everything happens for a reason” and “If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be” are new age versions of the same sentiment. If you’re speaking in a Muslim country and you say Inshallah appropriately, or if you are with others who share the metaphysical presuppositions implied in these English phrases, you will connect with the audience, but if your audience isn’t Muslim or Aquarian, then abstain.
3. Woke, or compounding the lack of originality with profanity for emphasis, Woke as F**k. This usage is symptomatic of pretension to the possession of expanded consciousness about social justice. It’s misuse of tense is a pandering attempt to seem hip when discussing issues of race, class, gender, and so on.
2. Badass / superpower. If you need to read something that says you are one (a badass) or have one (a superpower), then you probably aren’t, and you probably don’t, respectively. Moreover, badasses don’t read self-help books, but many impressive, formidable, and bold individuals do. I grew up on Marvel comics and still enjoy speculating on, and discussing with friends, which superpower would be most fun to have — invisibility, invulnerability, X-ray vision? (I’d actually opt for healing ability.) But selling personal-development courses or self-help books by promoting “superpowers” is destined to be another example of overpromising and underdelivering. Listening, empathy, intuition, creativity, and yes, presentation skills are abilities that we can all cultivate, and they will give a boost to our career, but supercharging is as far as I’m prepared to go. They aren’t superpowers.
1. Whatever. I confess that I’ve used this term when I don’t feel I have the energy to address the issue that has been raised, or if I think it’s not worthy of a more thoughtful response. But since I aspire to be kind to all sentient beings and to improve my language skills, I endeavor to refrain.
Let’s give the last word to legendary film producer Samuel Goldwyn, who said, “What we need now is some new, fresh clichés.”
Disclaimers, or “eraser phrases,” are often weapons of deceit and obfuscation. They’re designed to make insults and obnoxious comments more palatable. And unless they’re used skillfully for humorous purposes, they’re also annoying. Classics include:
No offense. “I’m about to or I have just offended you, and I want to get away with it without consequence or responsibility.” Example: “No offense, but I loathe you and think you’re an idiot.”
Bless your heart. A highly nuanced Southern US eraser phrase. (“Can you believe that dress she’s wearing? Bless her heart.”)
With all due respect. Often used in the attempt to deny the disrespect intended when insulting someone, particularly a person in a position of authority, like a boss or a judge.
I don’t mean that in a bad way. The all-purpose eraser phrase popularized by comedian Dom Irrera. Dom explains that in his neighborhood it was commonly used as follows: “You’re a lowlife scummy little fat rat weasel bastard....I don’t mean that in a bad way.”
Just sayin’. This attempted disclaimer, is number 11 on my list of most annoying phrases. It is similar to “I don’t mean that in a bad way” without the wit and is used to avoid taking responsibility for what was just said. “You’re a lowlife scummy little fat rat weasel bastard. Just sayin’.”
I’m not prejudiced/racist/bigoted/sexist/homophobic, but... A favorite of prejudiced, racist, bigoted, sexist homophobes.
Be that as it may. An old-fashioned way of saying, “Whatever.”
I don’t mean to interrupt, but... People who say this definitely mean to interrupt, so instead take responsibility and say something like, “Please allow me to interrupt.”
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. A classic from Seinfeld, used to qualify Jerry’s denial that he and George are gay.
Do you, like many of my clients, work in an HAC? That’s a TLA, Three Letter Acronym, for High Acronym Culture. Jargon, in the form of acronyms, slang, code words, and insider phrases, can be an efficient way to communicate and can help teams build a sense of alignment through a shared language. But it’s useful only if everyone involved understands it. It is amazing how frequently computer, financial, and automotive salespeople, just to name a few, use jargon that their customers don’t understand. In many organizations, the engineers love to use jargon that the marketing department doesn’t understand, and marketing gets revenge by making up jargon that no one understands. So remember to tune in to your audience and assess how much they understand and appreciate the jargon you use so that you avoid this particular form of, to use a jargon term to which you have been initiated, molecule fondling.
Linguist Tammy Gales explains, “If you do it thoughtfully, then initiating a group into jargon, with careful explanation, can be a powerful tool to engage and bond with them. They feel like ‘Hey now I have this new secret language and it is opening a whole new world to me.’”
Um, ah, you know, and like are habitual interjections or filler words used unconsciously to begin a sentence, fill a pause, or express a need for confirmation or connection. Overuse of these fillers detracts from your authority and presence. In a recent presentation-skills seminar, the average speaker used sixteen filler words per five-minute video practice session. Professional speakers use none.
Speakers tend to use filler words when they are unprepared or not aligned with their subject. And it’s shockingly common even when people are prepared and aligned. The key to eliminating this diminishment of your presence is to practice deleting these interjections in your daily conversation. Be especially vigilant if you are interacting with other people who say “like” and “you know” multiple times in every sentence.
“Life,” according to legendary free-speech pioneer and comedian Lenny Bruce, “is a four-letter word.” Bruce was arrested many times for challenging the restrictions against the use of profanity. Bruce and others championed our right to curse, but is it wise and effective to swear when you’re presenting?
Some argue that cursing demonstrates authenticity. Judging by the profusion of recent bestselling book titles featuring words that in Bruce’s era would get you thrown in jail, they may have a point.
Linguist Michael Adams, author of In Praise of Profanity, makes the case that in the right circumstances, swearing creates a sense of bonding through a shared experience of rebelling against perceived conventions of “proper” language. The problem comes when this form of rebelling becomes so common that it’s no longer the most original way to express yourself.
Comedian and social satirist George Carlin, who was once arrested as an audience member at a Lenny Bruce performance, was gifted in his ability to use what he affectionately termed “dirty words” to get laughs and make people think, but many who have attempted to follow in his footsteps just sound vulgar and aren’t particularly funny.
Although in some contexts profanity may help you bond or connect with people, or get a laugh, it also runs the real risk of offending and alienating many others. No professional speaker has ever had a problem because they did not use profanity, so it’s probably best to exercise restraint. As Oscar Wilde noted, “There is no mode of action, no form of emotion, that we do not share with the lower animals. It is only by language that we rise above them, or above each other — by language, which is the parent, and not the child, of thought.”
Now that you’ve learned how to eliminate the inessential, let’s turn to the second key technique for improving your skill with words: developing your vocabulary.
Renowned as history’s greatest genius, Leonardo da Vinci worked earnestly on building his vocabulary throughout his life. The maestro wrote out the definitions of more than nine thousand new words in his famous notebooks.
With an active command of ninety-three thousand words, German polymath and author of Faust, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, had the most expansive vocabulary ever measured. He observed, “The limits of my language are the limits of my universe.” If you’d like to expand your universe and your ability to help others expand theirs, which is the broad purpose of public speaking, then expand your vocabulary and your ability to use it precisely. As Steven Pinker explains in The Language Instinct, “We can shape events in each other’s brains with exquisite precision.” But first, of course, we must shape our own cognitive events by expanding our vocabulary and our understanding of the nuances and shades of meaning of the words we use.
The author of the 1916 classic Thinking as a Science, Henry Hazlitt, observed, “A man with a scant vocabulary will almost certainly be a weak thinker. The richer and more copious one’s vocabulary and the greater one’s awareness of fine distinctions and subtle nuances of meaning, the more fertile and precise is likely to be one’s thinking. Knowledge of things and knowledge of the words for them grow together. If you do not know the words, you can hardly know the thing.”
As you practice inhibiting the use of meaningless phrases, clichés, and filler words, you will be ever more able to fill the void with just the right word at the right time. This strengthens your clarity and your presence and eventually your creativity, too.
In addition to learning new words and using them in your everyday speech, it’s helpful to make a practice of looking up the origin of the words you use. If you go to www.etymonline.com, you can instantly get the origin of any word. The word vocabulary, for example, is from the medieval Latin vocabularium, “a list of words,” from the Latin vocabulum, “word, name, noun,” from vocare, “to name, call,” related to vox, “voice.” Expanding your vocabulary and researching word origins will help you discover a voice that is richer, clearer, and more persuasive. A simple way to begin is to subscribe to www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day.
When I first learned to juggle, I practiced intensively every day and made good progress, but then I joined the International Jugglers’ Association (IJA) and started going to open practices with lots of amazing jugglers. I improved rapidly, seemingly through osmosis. I also found that my tennis and chess games improved dramatically when I played with much better players. The same phenomenon takes place when one is surrounded by great speakers and writers, either in real or virtual form.
In the beginning of my speaking career I was fortunate to work with a gifted copresenter — to whom this book is dedicated — and I studied his style and substance diligently. This helped launch my career as a speaker, and I began to be invited to present at global events for many groups, including the Young Presidents’ Organization (YPO), featuring many outstanding presenters, and I sought to discover the distinguishing elements of the best of the best.
Today we have TED Talks, Moth Stories, and many other video forums where we can seek to benchmark and model excellence.
Which brings us to our third technique for sharpening our way with words. One of the simplest secrets of becoming a powerful public speaker is to spend as much time as possible listening, watching, and learning from the best. A good place to begin is the list of one hundred great American speeches: www.americanrhetoric.com/top100speechesall.html.
Among my favorites from that list are Martin Luther King Jr. (“I Have a Dream”), Barbara Jordan (keynote speech at the 1976 Democratic Convention), and Ronald Reagan (remarks at Brandenburg Gate). If I could go back in time, I’d aim for a front-row seat at Queen Elizabeth I’s speech to her troops at Tilbury, George Washington’s farewell remarks, and Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. Of those who are available to be heard, my all-time favorite most powerful public speaker is Winston Churchill. More recently my favorite orators include Alan Watts, Barack Obama (at the 2004 DNC), and Australian prime minster Julia Gillard (her Misogyny Speech in 2012. She really is a badass!). And let’s add Queen Elizabeth II’s elegant address to the British people delivered in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic. Commentator Greg Hall described it eloquently: “In 523 words — only 248 words more than Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address — the Queen managed to do what no Briton has done in recent memory: unite the country.” He continued, “She embodied ethos, or character, which the Roman statesman Cicero argued was one of the three qualities that made the best orators, along with logos (logic) and pathos (emotion).” Like Churchill in his finest hour, the queen used clear, simple language, and her recency effect featured a perfect triad: “We will be with our friends again; we will be with our families again; we will meet again.”
Great speakers, and great achievers of all kinds, are inspired by previous greats. Sir Isaac Newton wrote, “I stand on the shoulders of giants.” Albert Einstein kept a picture of Newton above his bed. And Einstein continues to inspire physicists and humanists alike. Pioneering educator Maria Montessori was inspired by Johann Pestalozzi, the man who helped create the school that liberated young Einstein’s creative abilities. Michael Jordan modeled his game after David Thompson. LeBron James was inspired by Jordan and now inspires players globally.
Create your own dream team of speakers to inspire you, and complement that team with a crew of writers whose use of language elevates your prose and makes your speech more poetic. The world’s first billionaire author and creator of the Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling explains, “The most important thing is to read as much as you can, like I did. It will give you an understanding of what makes good writing and it will enlarge your vocabulary.” J.R.R. Tolkien, author of The Lord of the Rings, adds, “A good vocabulary is not acquired by reading books written according to some notion of the vocabulary of one’s age group. It comes from reading books above one.”
Writers who help me reach above my level include Charles Dickens, Emily Dickinson, Amy Hempel, Hermann Hesse, Wisława Szymborska, Oscar Wilde, and P. G. Wodehouse. And my supreme language paragon of all time is William Shakespeare.
If you want to become a tower of strength (Richard III) as a public speaker, then for goodness’ sake (Henry VIII) realize that Shakespeare is the be-all and the end-all (Macbeth), and enjoy this bedazzling wisdom for powerful public speaking drawn from his multitudinous works:
“My words fly up, my thoughts remain below: Words without thoughts never to heaven go.” If you want your presentations to be more heavenly, follow Claudius’s advice in Hamlet. If you think clearly before you speak and inhibit the use of nonwords, clichés, jargon, curses, and drivel, you’ll be more effective.
“Brevity is the soul of wit.” Although Polonius doesn’t follow the advice he gives to Laertes in Hamlet, this line is nevertheless Shakespeare’s affirmation of the KISS principle: Keep it simple, speaker. Einstein stated that things “should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.” Seek the optimal simplicity for your expression.
“All the world’s a stage.” In As You Like It, Jaques reminds us that life is theater — and so is every presentation, for better or worse.
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts.
In the next chapter we will explore the role of body language in powerful public speaking and, not surprisingly, it is Shakespeare who offers the best counsel on this when in Hamlet’s speech to the players he says, “Suit the action to the word, the word to the action.”