Wyatt felt a pair of wet lips on his and opening his eyes he looked up to see Gretchen sitting beside him on the bed in their log house. Leaning forward, she gently brushed Wyatt’s hair back over his ears.
“You need to wake up now, my love,” she said.
“How do you feel this morning, Munchkin?” asked Wyatt, drawing Gretchen into his arms.
“Much better now,” purred Gretchen as Wyatt held her.
Opening his eyes, Wyatt looked up at Gretchen gazing lovingly at him.
“Thank you,” he said and smiled, “that was nice wake-up…much better than coffee.”
Gretchen glanced around the bed at Julie, Heidi, and Claire strewn about like naked rag dolls that had been thrown into the air along with a bag of feathers.
“Wow! They really did want it all last night,” observed Gretchen.
Wyatt ran his finger softly over her lips as she enjoyed his touch. “Seems my Gretchen birdie told them there were carnal advantages to having wings.”
Gretchen fanned herself with her hands.
“Wah, Wyatt, honey,” said Gretchen using her best coy southern accent, “Wah ah couldn’t let the three of them have a go with you unprepared. You might have permanently let the air out of your three floozy-sex-dolls.”
Gretchen leaned past Wyatt and poked Claire. “Wakey, wakey, you three,” proclaimed Gretchen cheerfully. “Time to get up.”
Claire raised her head from the sheets and yawned. “Is it my turn again?”
She laid her arm across Wyatt’s chest. “Give me a second to get the sleep out my eyes.”
Gretchen prodded Claire in the shoulder. “Rise and shine, Claire, married life isn’t just about riding the baloney-pony.”
Heidi rolled over chuckling, highly amused that her younger sister was lecturing Claire on the responsibilities of married life.
“Hi-Yo-Silver…” hooted Heidi.
She slapped Wyatt hard on his thigh. “I want to take another spin on the bratwurst express, Liebchen.”
Gretchen shook Julie, who lay between Wyatt’s legs with her head on his midsection.
“Julie, you need to get everyone ready,” said Gretchen. “Glorb-O, Konrad, and Uncle Adam will be here in an hour for a family meeting.”
Julie raised her drowsy head. Her hair looked like it had been blown about by a windstorm.
“Why are they coming by?” squinted Julie.
“Because Wyatt and I don’t exist, and our situation needs to be fixed,” replied Gretchen.
“Felt pretty existent to me last night,” said Julie, gripping Wyatt between his legs tightly as he sighed loudly. “Besides, we’re not finished having Wyatt fix us yet.”
Julie climbed on top of Wyatt. “You had Wyatt alone for three years and we didn’t even get a proper full honeymoon after our wedding. So, leave us alone.”
“That’s right,” seconded Heidi, rolling in Julie’s direction. “We watched you two die less than two days ago, and Wyatt hasn’t fully de-stressed us yet from the experience.”
Heidi looked up at her sister and demanded... “We deserve some early morning Wyatt TLC!”
Claire pumped her fist into the air. “Viva le bratwurst express!” she shouted rebelliously. “Chuga-chuga choo-choo!”
Gretchen looked at Wyatt, who shrugged his shoulders as if silently asking her what to do.
“Oh, all right!” relented Gretchen, shaking her head. “Wyatt, take them to the guestroom at our house so it doesn’t take any time in this plane of existence.”
Gretchen rounded her hand and poked her finger in and out. “And make sure all their depraved whore needs get completely taken care of so they have no reason during the meeting to be distracted.”
Wyatt stretched out his hand, and the three anxious women touched it. Eight seconds later the four collapsed into a sweaty heap.
Julie smiled up at Gretchen and happily sighed. “Thank you.”
Frowning, Gretchen grasped Wyatt’s hand. “Come with me, Inspector,” said Gretchen, pulling him towards the bathroom. “I hope you saved some energy to wash my hair.”
Julie, Heidi, and Claire snuggled into a warm comfy pile while they waited for their turn in the shower with Wyatt’s magic shampooing fingers.
As Wyatt vigorously worked the shampoo through Gretchen’s hair, she stopped and faced Wyatt. “After three babies, do you still think I’m pretty?”
“Are we talking pretty, as in horny, or pretty-pretty?” asked Wyatt.
“Pretty-pretty.”
Wyatt examined Gretchen from her head to her toes. “You’re not pretty anymore,” said Wyatt.
“I’m not,” said a disappointed Gretchen.
“No, you’re not,” said Wyatt, shaking his head while he somersaulted deep into the two big pools of blue in front of him. “You’re scrumdiddlyumptious drop-dead gorgeous, and I love you so very, very much, and the babies we have been making together.”
“But I have stretch-marks and some baby fat on my figure,” said Gretchen, looking at her body.
Wyatt drew Gretchen’s nakedness to him. “You are so beautiful, that if you hadn’t just had a baby and needed to fully recover first, I would take you to our world and we would do our special mile-high spawning thing all day and night!”
Gretchen kissed Wyatt and turned around so he could resume washing. “Thank you for talking with Glorb-O about us working as a team together.”
“You’re welcome.”
Gretchen turned around and looked seriously at Wyatt. “And just because we’re going to represent the Lesbian Empire that doesn’t mean that Sara is going to be our last child together. I want more of them flying around the house,” said Gretchen, poking him gently in the chest. “Their daddy is going to be busy corralling them night and day. Besides,” added Gretchen delightfully as she rinsed her hair, “Glorb-O told me that his doctors can take care of the stretch marks. When the time comes, they want us to look and feel good. They’ll also do the same for Julie, Heidi, Claire, and the whole family.”
“And oh, one last thing,” added Gretchen, “I spoke to Glorb-O about slightly changing your DNA so that you never lose your hair.”
She held out the bottle of shampoo again. “Sweetie, could you do my hair again?” asked Gretchen with a big smile, her voice layered with honey.
Wyatt grinned very broadly while he diligently massaged Gretchen’s scalp.
Later, when Julie, Heidi, and Claire finally came downstairs, they found Wyatt and Gretchen playing with Helen, Anna, and Sara who happily zoomed around the living room to everyone’s delight. When Gretchen saw the other three women, she extended her wings, and the birdies rushed to her. After Gretchen and Wyatt had seated themselves on the couch holding the kids, Gretchen glanced around the room at the others.
“Let’s get the authority bonding started,” said Gretchen. “Children from our world develop quickly and they are instinctual. They need to know who’s in charge right away.”
Gretchen pointed to herself. “Mommy Big Wings.”
Then she pointed to each of the others while Helen, Anna, and Sara with big wide blue eyes attentively watched.
“Mommy Julie.”
“Mommy Heidi.”
“Mommy Claire-Whore.”
“Hey!” muttered Claire.
“Sorry, old habits,” said Gretchen, chuckling.
She pointed again. “Mommy Claire.”
“Granddaddy Konrad.”
“Granddaddy Dieter.”
She pointed at Adam. “Granddaddy Adam.”
And finally…
“Daddy Glorb-O.”
Gretchen smiled at her three little darlings. “You will obey them as if they were Mommy and Daddy Big Wings,” she gently ordered.
The three children nodded.
Gretchen turned to the group. “Now they know now who is in charge.”
Afterwards Wyatt put a tired Anna in the nearby crib while Gretchen breastfed Sara. Helen crawled onto Dieter’s lap and went to sleep in his arms just as Adam called the meeting to order.
“Now that we’re all done celebrating, we have a problem,” said Adam.
He looked at Wyatt and Gretchen.
“We need to get you two into the system. According to the authorities, you’re both dead. Now Gretchen is an easy fix. Since, she doesn’t look any different, and the bodies disappeared off the plane, we can simply claim that it wasn’t Gretchen. A simple case of mistaken identity since...”
Adam pointed to Gretchen. “…she is obviously still very much alive.”
Gretchen smiled.
Uncle Adam pointed at Wyatt. “However, you’re a completely different problem. The older version of you is gone, and this version of you doesn’t exist. At least not on paper or on the grid, and that’s not good.”
“I don’t get it,” said Wyatt, shrugging. “What’s wrong with that?”
Catching on, Julie patted Wyatt’s hand. “Yogi, what’s wrong is that you can’t do anything in this world without some form of identification,” said Julie. “As Ian, you don’t have a birth certificate, no driver’s license, no social security number, no employment record, no credit history, no credit cards, no money. You were a teacher, but not any longer.”
“Sure, I am,” answered Wyatt a bit confused.
“No, you’re not,” responded Adam seriously. “To teach you had to graduate high school, go on to college and get your teaching certificate. Now you have none of those. You can’t even order a transcript. No employment records, nothing. If you try to use anything from your past, they’ll either arrest you for identity theft or lock you up in a loony bin when you try to explain the truth to them.”
Adam looked at Wyatt. “We’re all glad you’re back, but we’ve got some work to do before you’re right with the rest of the world.”
It stunned Wyatt to suddenly realize that he appeared in the outside world’s eyes a complete blank. Everything that he had earned or accumulated over the last fifty-four years had vanished. But stopping himself, Wyatt glanced around the room to process what he had gained, his youth, three—no, four beautiful loving wives, three beautiful children, three more on the way, a family, friends, and his hair. His attention focused on Sara gurgling on Gretchen’s nipple, and Julie holding his hand.
“Ok. The old guy’s gone now,” conceded Wyatt. “So how do we get this new guy alive and on the grid?”
Adam motioned to Glorb-O, and he picked up a thick piece of glass. Glorb-O tapped and laid the glass on the floor.
“Wyatt, please take off your shoes and socks and stand on the glass,” requested Glorb-O pointing with a tentacle.
“What are you going do?” asked Wyatt as he removed his shoes.
“Glorb-O is going to change your fingerprints slightly,” said Adam. “In case your prints are run through the system, we don’t want them showing a dead man’s identity.”
Walking barefoot to the glass, Wyatt stood on it. His feet tingled. Glorb-O set the glass on the coffee table again and asked Wyatt to place his hands on it. When he did, his hands momentarily tingled too.
Pulling some papers from his messenger bag Adam laid them in front of Wyatt. “This is a full power-of-attorney. Sign it—Ian Morgen.”
Wyatt signed. “So, what’s next?”
“With Glorb-O’s help we’re going to manufacture a birth certificate and other records for you and insert them into the computer records,” said Adam, picking up the paper and stuffing it in his messenger bag. “Then, step-by-step, Glorb-O and I will work you through the system. But until we do I need to set some ground rules for you, and everyone around you.”
“What sort of ground rules?” asked Julie curiously as her hand unconsciously felt up Wyatt’s leg while she wished the meeting was over.
Adam held up a finger as he stood in front of them. “First, outside of this house everyone needs to call him Ian—Wyatt inside, Ian outside,” said Adam. “For purposes of the world, the paperwork and records say there is no more Wyatt. At least not for a while.”
Adam held up two fingers. “Second, until I get Ian through the system, I would prefer he stay in or around the house. If you want to go out, please take someone with you in case something happens. Everyone here has my number on speed dial in case of an emergency.”
Adam held up three fingers. “And finally, third, keep a low profile. I don’t want anybody looking into your past too deeply until I’ve created one for you. There are also paparazzi everywhere looking for all of you. So, no trips to Paris nightclubs, and no fights!”
Claire groaned disappointedly.
Adam looked at Julie, Claire, Heidi, and Gretchen and added as he smiled…. “I highly recommend you ladies keep Wyatt occupied here,” he added, “and whatever you do, don’t let him go too far alone.”
Four big smiles.
Glorb-O stood to address the group.
“Now let’s discuss other things,” said Glorb-O, waving his tentacles in the air. “As citizens of the Empire, I want everyone here to be able to travel freely on this planet like you were able to do with Erin and not have to worry about being cut off like you were after the shooting the other night at Whitefish. So, with everyone’s permission, I would like to install a microscopic Blue Light Transfer—BLT—implant behind your ears.”
Given her business in Paris and the rest of the world, Claire immediately became interested. “How does this implant work?” she curiously asked.
“After it’s installed,” explained Glorb-O, “… think of a specific place you want to go on Earth along with your code word at the beginning and end of the thought and you will be there. You need a code word so you don’t accidently think yourself somewhere you don’t consciously want to be. In addition, the units also have AI safety protocols to keep you out of harmful situations like volcanos and automatically switch off when you’re sleeping so you don’t dream yourself somewhere.”
“Is it like Star Trek where your molecules are taken apart and then put back together?” asked Wyatt.
Glorb-O, holding his ribs, laughed hilariously. “No. Star Trek is one of my favorite shows, but…” His mind wandered. “Has anybody seen the trouble with Tribbles? If only the writers knew it was an actual problem on Rylon Proximas…”
“Glorb-O,” interrupted Gretchen.
“Yes?”
“Maybe we should stay on track,” she reminded him with a smile.
“Right…yes…well… Beam me up is nonsense,” resumed Glorb-O. “This is much simpler. Dimensional gates are compressed and a doorway is opened in the fabric of the continuum. Nothing happens to you physically. It’s the space around you that’s stretched and shifted. The blue light that you see comes from the light spectrum of the merging points of space. BLTs are quite elegant in their simplicity and beauty. Only with permission of the Emperor are these given out.”
“And these implants won’t fry our brains?” asked Heidi.
“Only if you have too much sex,” replied Glorb-O.
“Well, that leaves out these three wife-whores,” said Gretchen, glancing around. “They’ll all be a bunch of Republicans, in less than twenty-four hours.”
While Julie laughed, Heidi smiled, and Claire enthusiastically shouted… “Viva les conservatives. Bring it on—make me un médiéval moron!”1
“Don’t worry, Heidi,” said Julie. She patted her hand. “I’m sure Glorb-O is only kidding.”
Julie turned to Glorb-O. “Right.”
Silence, while everyone stared at Glorb-O while he stared back at them.
Then finally…
“Sure. Yes, of course I am,” he said with a slight laugh. “They’re completely harmless. None of you are going to become brain damaged and turn into a Republican or a follower of Qtampon.”
Starting with Julie, Glorb-O, one person at a time, worked his way around the room with a glass rod touching each person behind their left ear. After he finished, he gave them their individual code words.
“How did you come up with these code words?” asked Julie.
Glorb-O looked up from his control-pad. “Commander Pinky showed a James Bond marathon on the ship yesterday for her soldiers and the ladies decided that your code words should be named after Bond girls because they’re beautiful, alluring, and highly desirable.”
Four broad smiles.
“Julie, your code word is—Domino.” …A smile.
“Heidi—Kissy.” …A grin.
“Gretchen—Jinx.” …A smirk.
Glorb-O hesitated for a moment. “And for obvious reasons, Claire—Plenty.”
Claire wiggled. “Thank you.”
“Wait a minute,” interrupted Heidi, “…what’s that make Wyatt? Bond?”
Wyatt smiled at Heidi. “Bond, James Bond.”
Glorb-O paused for a second, smiled, and continued reading.
“Konrad—M.”
“Adam—Q.”
“And Dieter, since you have a long history with Wyatt, you get to be ‘Felix,’ his CIA buddy.”
“Also, if no one objects,” said Glorb-O. “Since Wyatt and Gretchen are going to be the first Ambassadors of the Empire we would like to use the other side of this house as a base for the ULE Embassy operations on Earth. If allowed, we would like to install E-House technology so that from the outside of the house looks the same size while inside it will actually be much larger. It uses the same technology as your BLTs so that the extra space is actually in another dimension. If, for example, you want a larger nursery, all you have to do is ask the house. It can even locate the nursery on the opposite side of the house but have a connecting dimensional door to the main bedroom on the other side. Whatever you are able to describe, the technology will provide for you. It is even self-cleaning and self-maintaining. In addition, you will no longer be dependent on the local power-grid.”
Julie glanced at the other three ladies and Wyatt, who all nodded in agreement.
“Ok, Glorb-O,” said Julie. “Have your people start installing the technology, and we’ll discuss it among ourselves regarding the design on our side.”
Julie looked around the room, fidgeting nervously. “Is there anything else we need to talk about?”
“Yes, there is,” said Gretchen. “What about our children? We’ve talked about me, Wyatt, traveling, and this house, but no one’s mentioned how we’re getting Helen, Sara, and Anna on the grid.”
Glorb-O tapped on his controller pad. He held it in front of Gretchen to show her.
“Your three children were officially registered yesterday as the first three citizens of the Empire to be born on Earth,” announced Glorb-O. “When the time comes, and we establish contact, they will have official diplomatic status, and everyone can reveal their wings.”
He paused and added, “Also, we’ll backdate their birthdays to reflect their actual age in case they want to attend the Emperor’s Academy.”
Gretchen smiled sweetly at Glorb-O. She motioned for him to lean down. When he did, she kissed his cheek while Glorb-O grinned.
“Thank you,” said Gretchen.
“Is that everything?” asked Julie, impatiently glancing around the room.
No one objected, and the meeting broke up. While Gretchen carried a sleeping Helen, Dieter rolled Sara and Anna’s crib to their temporary nursery.
Meanwhile, in the living room after Konrad and Adam left, Glorb-O quietly approached Wyatt.
“You might want to be careful?”
“Why?”
“Because sometimes,” replied Glorb-O, “…in very rare cases, there are minor side effects in the first twenty Earth hours after implanting BLTs, especially among pregnant hormonal women. You might want to keep an eye on Julie and Heidi.”
Wyatt squinted at Glorb-O. “Like what for example…”
Heidi walked in while Dieter happily watched Sara and Anna in their crib sleeping.
“Daddy, could you babysit for a while?” asked Heidi. “I’d like to go for an afternoon drive with my sister.”
Gretchen perked up as she disconnected the breast milk pump. “You do? What about Julie and Claire?”
“Claire tested her new BLT and headed for Paris to catch up on business matters with Madame Manx,” replied Heidi, “…and Julie wants to take an afternoon walk on the beach alone with Wyatt.”
Heidi hugged Gretchen. “But that’s beside the point. I really just want to spend some time alone with the sister that I thought I had lost.”
Gretchen hugged Heidi back. “So, do I.”
Wyatt kissed and waved goodbye to Gretchen and Heidi. Turning around he headed for the kitchen. Opening the stainless steel refrigerator door, he leaned in to see what he could find to eat. While hunger gnawed at him, Wyatt thought about what Glorb-O had said about rare side effects, especially in pregnant women. But having seen no signs of anything, Wyatt decided he had nothing to worry about with Julie and Heidi. Just then he spotted what he was searching for…a breakfast burrito.
Meanwhile, dressed in the sluttiest lingerie in her closet, the lioness on soft silent paws stalked her prey. His scent led her to the kitchen where she watched her unaware victim forage. Bent over, he appeared helpless and trapped with nowhere to run. The fire between her legs burned white-hot. Her ravenous appetite overwhelmed all her senses. She gathered every bit of her strength, speed, and desire, and licking her lips in anticipation…she pounced!
“This is nice,” said Heidi as the Miata sped towards Newport on Highway 101. “I’m glad we could have a little sister time on the road, while Wyatt and Julie have a little time alone.”
“I kind of wanted to stay and have a little face time with Wyatt,” admitted Gretchen, giggling. “I almost feel recovered…ready.”
“So soon?” asked Heidi as she enjoyed the wind whip through her short hair. “You just gave birth yesterday.”
Gretchen watched Heidi’s short hair fly in the wind. Slipping off her scrunchie she let fly her much longer blonde hair. Then, leaning out the window, Gretchen sucked in fresh air like a canine.
“You forget, I’m only half-human now. The non-human part of me heals me much faster. You noticed that my children are born flying. They are very strong. Our husband has very nice DNA.”
“Enjoy the sun, and rest,” said Heidi as she laughed. “Wyatt, I’m sure will be accommodating when you are ready. Maybe we could do a sister act on him at the same time. We’ll make a sandwich of him and call it double jeopardy.”
Gretchen turned and smiled at her sister. “I’d like that. Just you and me taming the beast and bending him to our will...like Julie is probably doing to Wyatt right now,” commented Gretchen as they entered Newport.
“Uh-ah,” replied Heidi, shaking her head. “Julie and Wyatt together are definitely ‘love me tender, love me sweet’ together. They have their excited moments, but definitely no broken furniture with them. That’s Claire’s department.”
“Oh, my God! Oh, my God!” shouted Gretchen, excitedly whipping back her head and pointing. “Did you see that? Stop and turn around, Heidi! That’s exactly what we all need!”
Heidi swerved across several lanes of traffic and did a U-turn while cars honked around her.
“Sexxxy!” exclaimed Heidi after they had spun around. “It’s a good thing I brought the company credit card with me!”
“My God!” shrieked Heidi as she entered the kitchen two hours later with Gretchen. “What the fuck…”
Dented and crushed pots and pans were scattered the length of the room. Several dozen eggs lay smashed on the floor while orange juice pooled with macaroni and flour to create a gooey mess. The cracked microwave oven door hung by a single hinge, and what remained of the expresso machine appeared to be in small mechanical pieces in the sink. A trail of squished bananas mixed with blood led towards the bedroom.
“Where the fuck are those two?” shouted Heidi angrily. “How dare they do this to my kitchen!”
Heidi raced to the bedroom. She heard Wyatt yelp in pain from the direction of the bathroom. When Heidi exploded through the door Wyatt sat at the end of the tub, naked, while an equally naked Julie extracted small, bloody shards of glass from his back with a pair of tweezers. Dabbing some alcohol, Julie enjoyed watching Wyatt flinch.
“Remember Wyatt, chicks dig scars!” she assured him.
“What the hell did you do to him?” shouted Heidi. “You broke our Penis Animal!”
“He was resistant to my needs!” stated Julie defiantly.
“Feels good to be a dominant woman sometimes, doesn’t it?” said Gretchen, admiring Julie’s handiwork.
“Gretchen, don’t encourage her,” growled Heidi. “Did you not see what they did to my kitchen?”
“It’s only the kitchen!” Julie chuckled. “What’s the big deal?”
Heidi angrily pointed towards the kitchen. “The big deal is…remember how pissed you were two days ago when Claire and Wyatt demolished the bedroom?”
“Oh yeah, that’s right,” remembered Julie. “I guess I should apologize for what we did to your kitchen.”
“Apologize and clean it up!” grumbled Heidi.
“And don’t forget rule number six of the Otter Rock Accords,” she added, pointing at Wyatt. “You’re not supposed to break the Penis Animal. We play nice with our toys.”
Heidi threw off her clothes and sat next to Wyatt in the water while Julie continued plucking and thinking about what Heidi had just said.
“Did soon-to-be-mommy Julie hurt the poor Penis Animal?” asked Heidi as she kissed and stroked the side of his face with her hand.
Wyatt pitifully nodded his head up and down.
Julie playfully slapped Wyatt’s back while he winced. “You liar! You enjoyed every second of it.”
Wyatt tried hard not to laugh.
Gretchen, now also naked, slipped into the water on Wyatt’s other side and laid her head against his arm while she massaged the muscle.
“Don’t worry, Inspector, we won’t let bad ol’ Julie hurt you anymore.”
Wyatt whimpered a little.
“Oh, fuck you, Wyatt!” exclaimed Julie, plucking out the last shred of glass.
Julie entered the water and straddled Wyatt’s lap. Leaning into his lips she kissed him.
“Am I forgiven?”
Wyatt turned his head and pouted a little. “I don’t know? Maybe?”
Not to be deterred, Julie used her hand to gently rotate his face back towards her and she kissed Wyatt again even more passionately while she ground her hips into Pinocchio.
“So, I am forgiven?” pouted Julie pulling away.
Wyatt smiled at her. “Yes, you are forgiven.”
“Good,” said a satisfied Julie. “Then you won’t mind this.”
And with the help of the other two women, she yanked Wyatt forward and they dunked him underwater.
Wyatt and Julie dutifully finished scrubbing the kitchen, just as Claire arrived from Paris and Gretchen returned from checking on the kids. Dieter had left earlier to tape his cooking contest show, “No way you’re a better cook than me!”
“I am so looking forward to having this becoming an E-house,” said Gretchen, walking into the living room. “How about we all gather after supper and plan how we want the rooms set up?”
“Hey,” remembered Julie as she and Wyatt emerged from the kitchen, “where’s our Starbucks order?”
“Oh, about that,” said Heidi, “something came up, and we did something else instead.”
“What on Earth is more important than Starbucks?” asked Julie.
Gretchen and Heidi headed for the front door and motioned Julie, Claire, and Wyatt to follow.
“This,” announced Heidi as they rounded the corner of the garage, “is a mint condition 1959 Cadillac Series 62 convertible. We needed a larger car for the five of us and our friends, so Gretchen and I bought this.”
“Wait till Daddy sees the company credit card at the end of the month,” said Gretchen, laughing. “I hope he still thinks it’s worth having me back.”
Julie, Wyatt, and Claire stared in awe at the seven foot wide and almost nineteen foot long convertible in front of them. Next to it, the Miata looked like a baby next to its momma elephant. Gretchen walked around the bright red beauty like a model at a car show and cheerfully pointed out its features.
“It has a 390 cubic-inch V8 engine with power steering and a 4-speed Hydra-Matic automatic transmission. Notice the white top and interior.”
At the rear of the car, Gretchen ran her hand sensuously down the length of the tailfins. “These were the largest and highest tailfins ever made on a car. And look at these double taillights in mid-fin.”
“Wow,” admired Wyatt.
Walking to the car he surveyed the extremely long length of the convertible. “This is super cool,” he proclaimed. “It looks like a spaceship and a boat. I don’t know if we should build a dock or a launch pad for it.”
Julie laughed. “When we’re not using it, maybe we could sublet it as an apartment.”
Wyatt joined in. “Or maybe, fill it with water and invite everyone over for a pool party.”
Then Claire added, “…and erect a net and play water polo.”
“Do you three like it or not?” demanded Heidi as she and Gretchen pouted with pursed lips.
Before any of them could reply, Julie doubled over in pain. Wyatt quickly put his arm around Julie.
“What’s going on, honey?” asked a very concerned Wyatt. “Are you having another libido attack?”
Julie nodded and clutched between her legs. Her hand ripped open her blouse buttons, while she frantically rubbed her breasts.
Claire, Gretchen, and Heidi ran to her side. “What’s going on?”
“Every so often today, ever since Julie got her implant this morning, she’s been having extreme libido sexual attacks,” exclaimed Wyatt. “It’s a rare side effect in pregnant women that lasts less than twenty hours. That’s why she attacked me earlier in the kitchen!”
“What does she need?” shouted a frantic Claire.
“Sex,” responded Wyatt. “Intense and prolonged intercourse seems to calm her down.”
Julie excitedly clutched Wyatt between his legs while she desperately pleaded. “Pleeeease! Take me! Take me now!”
Quickly, Gretchen opened the car door and pointed to the spacious back seat. “Take her in there and give her what she needs Wyatt!”
Julie leaped into the backseat. Pulling off her pants she stretched out her arms begging. Wyatt hesitated.
“Wyatt,” shouted Heidi, pushing him. “This is a medical emergency. Get in there and fuck Julie until she’s well again.”
Wyatt crawled into the backseat on top of Julie while Heidi pushed the convertible button and raised the top.
While Wyatt hurriedly unzipped his pants, Julie leaned into his ear. “Take your time, Yogi. Nice and slow at first,” whispered Julie. “I’m not having another attack. I just wanted to be the first one to have you back here.”
“You little vixen,” whispered Wyatt as he pulled off her underwear.
“We’re going to have to make this believable, so they think you really are having an attack,” whispered Wyatt, “so, make a lot of noise.”
“I can do that,” said Julie as she clenched herself around Wyatt, eliciting the moan from him that she liked to hear.
Heidi, Claire, and Gretchen conferred next to the car.
“Poor Julie,” lamented Claire. “I hope our husband can take care of her condition.”
Gretchen thought a minute and looked at her sister. “Did we just put a ton of money on Daddy’s credit card so Julie could fuck Wyatt in the back seat first?”
Heidi turned around to watch Wyatt vigorously curing Julie. “Apparently, we did,” sighed Heidi.
Claire peeked in through the window as the car swayed and Julie loudly moaned. “Julie’s on top now. Good! She seems to be recovering.”
Claire leaned through the open car window and patted Wyatt’s leg. “Thank you, Wyatt. Keep it up! Julie’s doing much better!”
Heidi had a thought and grinned. “Claire, how about we flip to see who gets the back seat with Wyatt next?”
While Heidi searched for a coin in her pocket, Gretchen gently slapped the side of the convertible. “You two better hurry things up. There’s a car coming.”
“Delay them!” moaned an agitated Julie. “I need another few minutes. My nether regions are mellllllting!”
A small tan Toyota sedan stopped on the side of the cul-de-sac. A plump woman wearing too much makeup and holding a bible popped out. Heidi and Claire quickly met her on the street.
“Hi, my name is Trish Goodbody,” announced the woman. She held out her hand. “I’m with the Exceptionally Martyred Holy Body of Christ Evangelical Church in Newport. I heard a family had moved in here. Are you ladies born again?”
“No, but our husband and his other wife Gretchen are,” said Claire, giggling.
She nodded towards the convertible. Gretchen waved at Trish while she stood guard. Trish pointed in amazement at Heidi and Claire. “You two are both married to the same man?”
“Along with Julie and Gretchen,” added Heidi as she and Claire displayed their rings in front of them.
“But, it’s more than that,” said Heidi. “Myself, Clare, Julie are also married to each other. Gretchen exists in another plane of existence with Wyatt and is married directly to him, and not us.”
“It’s all very biblical,” commented Heidi with a chuckle.
“Un pour tous, tous pour un,” stated Claire.
“And where is your born-again husband and Julie?” asked Trish, looking past Claire.
Heidi pointed her thumb towards the car. “They’re detailing our new car. Some ashes got spilled and they’re working hard to haul them out of the back seat,” said Heidi, trying to keep a straight face.
“My, oh my, they certainly seem happy in their work,” observed Trish. “Look at the way that car is swaying.”
“Yes, madame,” confirmed Claire, watching the convertible. “Wyatt is working very hard with Julie. She did spill a lot of ashes. He’s a wonderful husband. He doesn’t mind helping when he is needed.”
Suddenly…
“Yes! Yes! Yes! That’s it! Right there! Thank…you…honeeeeeeey!”
“Sounds like Julie and Wyatt have gotten them all scooped up,” said Trish gingerly.
She started walking towards the car. Just then, Erin ambled around the garage and plopped herself in back of the still bouncing Cadillac and snorted at a terrified Trish.
“What is that?” asked Trish, desperately hiding behind Claire. “A pet?”
Erin indignantly snorted.
Claire walked to Erin and gave her a hug.
“You mean who is this?” answered a miffed Claire. “This is Erin, our friend, and beloved member of our family.”
–Hello Trish. Get any new converts today?
“I heard a voice in my head,” said Trish staring at Erin. “Did that bear just speak to me?”
“Maybe.” Heidi smiled. “Did you bring her some beer? Erin has to have her beer.”
“And Dove bars. Erin loves dark chocolate Dove bars,” added Claire.
–I like Oregon-brewed Tipsy Girl stout.
Trish backed up to her Toyota, opened the door, and jumping in, she fumbled with her keys.
“Four wives, a bear, Dove Bars, and stout beer,” repeated a flustered Trish. “You people have a strange family.”
“It works for us,” said Claire. She waved as the Toyota sped off.
The Cadillac had stopped bouncing and Claire and Heidi walked to the car and peeked in the window to check on Julie’s medical condition. Wyatt and Julie quietly rested against each other on the spacious carpeted floor.
>Blue Light<
Heidi, Gretchen, and Claire turned towards the flash behind them to see a perturbed Dieter with his hands on his hips.
“What have you two been up to?” asked Dieter immediately. “As soon as my show finished taping, Carol from accounting called and said that you two had charged eighty-five thousand dollars on the company Triple Diamond, Double Platinum, Gold American Express card for a car.”
Dieter looked past his daughters. His financial annoyance immediately dissipated as his German fascination for big shiny machines took hold when he realized what his daughters had spent the money on.
Dieter pointed. “Is that…Oh, my God!”
Heidi nodded her head.
“Heidi and I are going to transfer the bank from our bank accounts…” explained Gretchen, but Dieter interrupted and waved her off with his hand.
“Yes, yes, fine, fine,” said a preoccupied Dieter. He held out his hand.
“Where are the keys?” demanded Dieter. “I want to take this gorgeous beauty for a drive!”
Gretchen and Heidi looked at each other while Claire suppressed a giggle. Reaching into the pocket of her jeans, Gretchen handed her father the keys.
Eager to play with the new toy, Dieter jumped into the front seat and backed out. His foot hit the gas, and he burned rubber.
“A lot more fun than a Panzerkampfwagen,” whispered Hauptman Stucker in the back of Dieter’s mind as he enjoyed the ride.
“Do you think Daddy knows Wyatt and Julie are in the back seat? asked Gretchen, watching the car drive away.
“It’s a big, dark back seat,” replied Heidi.
Dieter heard a giggle and looked in the rearview mirror.
“Hi, Dieter,” said Julie, holding her underwear as she buttoned up her blouse. “Where are we going?”
The Cadillac screeched to a halt halfway up the street.
“He does now!” said Gretchen laughing as the three watched the passenger door open while Wyatt, fastening his pants and belt, along with Julie still holding her underwear, scrambled out.
“Feeling better?” asked Claire as Julie and Wyatt approached.
Julie squeezed Wyatt around his waist. “Dr. Morgen has such a wonderful bedside manner.”
Wyatt squeezed back. “We should put the cars in the garage for the evening.”
“We tried that earlier,” said Gretchen.
She pointed at Wyatt. “But the garage is full of your stuff.”
Wyatt looked towards the garage doors. “My stuff?”
“Your clothes, art, books. It looks like everything from your house in Alaska,” said Heidi.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you, Erin,” rejoiced Wyatt throwing his hands into the air. “My stuff is here!”
Julie put her hand on Wyatt’s chest. “Now wait a minute, Yogi, you’re not bringing any of that stuff into our house until we’ve all looked through it,” said Julie. “Most of your clothes are going to have to go. There’s a reason Alaska was voted worst dressed state in the U.S.”
“But?”
“And we have to examine your art,” added Claire. “And determine exactly what gets hung.”
Wyatt suddenly perked up his ears. He turned to Gretchen. “Anna is crying and…” said Wyatt sniffing the air, “…Sara needs changing.”
“I sense it too,” said Gretchen, nodding in agreement.
“You can sense that?” asked an amazed Heidi.
“Of course, I can,” said Wyatt with a big smile. “I’m their daddy.”
Julie, Heidi, and Claire watched as Wyatt and Gretchen headed into the house. Heidi turned to the others while she unconsciously rubbed her abdomen. “When the time comes, he really is going to be useful!”
Claire and Julie silently nodded in agreement.