It was past midnight, and the night watchmen were patrolling the neighborhood when they came across a drunk leaning up against a wall. One of them walked up to the man, patted him on the shoulder, and screamed in his ear: “Hey! Are you drunk? Tell me, quick, what have you been drinking?”
“Whatever was in that bottle over there,” the drunk said, pointing to an empty bottle that had rolled away to the side.
“What was in the bottle? You know that alcohol is illegal in this town,” yelled the watchman again.
“I drank what was in the bottle, officer,” replied the drunk, slurring his words.
“I don't see anything in the bottle; tell me, quickly, what did you drink?”
“What was in the bottle, I told you.”
The watchman realized that he was chasing his own tail and that conversation with this man would be useless. He decided that if he wanted to arrest the drunkard, he must try another approach.
“Open your mouth and say ah,” he ordered the drunk, by now half asleep, hoping to smell the alcohol on his breath.
“Hu!”3 sighed the drunken man happily.
“I ordered you to say ah and you blurt out Hu?” snapped the angry guard.
“I'm ecstatic, why should I say ah? Ah is a sound for sad people like you who've allowed their backs to get bent in two. People like me are always happy, and that's where my Hu comes from!”
“Don't try to get out of this mess with your stupid rhetoric. I'm not buying any of your false spirituality. No more arguing; stand up!” he ordered with authority, knowing well that if he didn't act fast he would soon be outmaneuvered.
“That's all right, you can go now; I'm done here,” said the drunk.
“I told you to get up! You're drunk, and I must take you in.”
“Leave me alone. How do you expect to steal the clothing off a naked man?” reasoned the drunk. “If I'd any strength, I'd walk to my own home and not waste my time arguing with you! If I could reason like the wise, I'd be sitting in my shop doing business, you fool!”
The drunk squatted, leaning his back against the wall, and closed his eyes, instantly falling asleep. Seeing the hopelessness of this arrest, the night watchmen, exasperated, walked off and left him alone.
3 Hu is one of the ninety-nine names for Allah.