Sex is a natural function. You can’t make it happen, but you can teach people to let it happen.
—Dr. William H. Masters
THE PHENOMENON OF ejaculation was considered to be the greatest difference between male and female sexual functions until the beginning of the 1980s, when the female prostate and its palpable manifestation, the G-spot, were rediscovered and their connection to female emission scientifically proven.
Yet in spite of the clinical research, laboratory testing, and case studies from the past thirty years, female ejaculation and the related but very different jets or streams of “squirting” continue to be a topic of controversy. The facts, however, are that fluid produced in the female prostate during heightened states of arousal contains biochemical components comparable to those in semen, including prostate-specific antigen (PSA) which happens to be produced in only one other gland in the human body: the male prostate! The fluids from ejaculation and squirting exit the body, just as male ejaculate does, via the urethral canal. Misinformed lovers commonly mistake female squirting for urine; this misperception can lead to debilitating feelings of shame in women and confusion in men.
Some researchers and doctors tiptoe around the topic by maintaining that women once had the ability to ejaculate, but as it merely served an antibacterial function in reproduction, the organ responsible for ejaculation atrophied with the advent of modern hygiene. Many medical professionals continue to deny scientific evidence altogether. This has led to the acute lack of accurate public information about female emissions, which in turn not only propagates the female ejaculation taboo but also leads perfectly healthy women to seek surgical “cures” for squirting, which was diagnosed as coital incontinence in the 1950s.
The Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony brings lovers into contact with the whole of their sexual beings—as men explore heightened pleasure through prostate stimulation and the delights of delay, women discover entirely new horizons of pleasure when their G-spot awakens. But it is important to keep in mind that, like any journey in life, the sexual path is the destination: women, seek G-spot orgasms and create the conditions to prompt emissions, but don’t let that goal keep you from enjoying every other source of pleasure that you will experience along the way.
Female emissions, represented in ancient art, artifacts, architecture, and literature throughout all cultures, is often depicted or described as a river or stream flowing from the female genitals. Poetic names from ancient literature reflect the positive manner in which the phenomenon was viewed: the flood of Venus, the elixir of life, the sacred river, the nectar of the gods, and the lotus nectar. The Kama Sutra speaks of female emissions in terms of “seed that … continues to fall from the beginning of the sexual union to its end.” The elixir was renowned by the Taoists for its legendary ability to reverse the aging process. Skilled lovers in sixteenth-century Japan collected the aphrodisiacal cocktail in bowls designed specifically to capture its flux. Those who consumed the fluid felt all the happier and more rejuvenated. This may in part be explained by the traces of the neurotransmitter serotonin that female emission contains.
Other cultures known to have considered female emission as an essential aspect of female pleasure were the Tantrists, the ancient Greeks and Romans, the Celts, the Cherokee Indians in North America, and the Trukese of the Coral Islands in the South Pacific; in all of these societies, female emissions were viewed as symbols of woman’s “masculine” side, a perspective that rendered women sexually equal to men.
The generation of prostate fluid is the body’s involuntary physiological response to arousal, and nothing can prevent the intricate network of ducts and glands that compose the female prostate, the largest of which is known as the Skene’s gland, from producing this fluid. But over the centuries, like the female orgasm itself, this biological response was repressed to the point that the majority of women essentially have “forgotten” how to ejaculate! However, most highly aroused women emit imperceptible quantities of prostate fluid through the urethral opening before, during, and after orgasm. Those who “remember” how to ejaculate and abandon themselves to the sensations that lead up to ejaculation may also “squirt”—clinical reports giving the amount of fluid as between 1 and 3 ounces (25 and 100 milliliters)! Labeled femmes fontaines, literally “fountain ladies,” by the French psychologist Frédérique Gruyer in 1984, these women are proof that the female prostate has not atrophied; they constitute, however, a mere 6 to 8 percent of the female population today.
Every sexually mature woman has a prostate and paraurethral glands that produce and store prostate fluid (even if most anatomical charts for the female genital system still fail to represent these). Theoretically, any woman can learn to create the conditions for ejaculation and squirting and revel in the heightened degrees of sexual satisfaction that they excite—and the empowering sense of equality that accompanies emission. We may therefore conclude that what women seem to be missing, more than anything else, are equally informed, sufficiently liberated, and well-skilled partners!
Fast PGO sex does not promote female emissions, while the Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony, with its slow building of sexual tension, provides lovers with the perfect opportunity to explore the ecstatic powers of the G-spot and encourage the flow of female fluids. The prime conditions are extensive periods of stimulation, heightened degrees of arousal, direct G-spot stimulation, multiple orgasms, lack of inhibition, and being truly attracted to and confident with one’s partner, which instills a sense of ease and openness to what may come. Lovers who revel in the pleasures that lead to female emissions consider the G-spot to be the source of unequaled delight and emission to be a highlight of their sexual endeavors, as well as the most generously ecstatic way for a woman to thank her partner for worshipping her to such an extent.
Female ejaculate fluid has the look and consistency of semen, while squirt is noted for its clarity and has the consistency of water. Its distinct perfume is most commonly described as the refreshing smell of spring rain, but some women also report their emissions as having salty sea tones, floral scents, or earthy undertones of amber, musk, or moss. These variations are determined in part by variations in diet. The transparency of squirt may vary and even become slightly cloudy with approaching menstruation. Women, if you eventually revitalize your capacity to squirt, ask your lover to collect some of the liquid that you emit in a glass or bowl as it leaves your body. Smell and even taste it just as our ancient ancestors did, and invite your partner to do the same. This can be an extremely exciting aspect of the Sexual Ceremony (but obviously one that should only be shared by lovers who have a safe fluid-exchange agreement).
Facilitate your heavenly delight by playing on surfaces that will not be damaged by liquids and protecting those that could be damaged with towels. Consider investing in a latex sheet. Designed to fit various sizes of mattresses, it can be purchased online and in most sex shops. Whether you are a novice to G-spot stimulation or an experienced femme fontaine, being worried about making a mess will hold you back from abandoning yourself to the pleasures of G-spot stimulation.
Awakening the G-spot takes blissful time and a relaxed state of mind and body, so it’s best to initiate this kind of exploration when you have the time and energy to build sexual tension to the heights. And, of course, leave expectations that lead to performance-pressure out of the boudoir. Even the most insensitive, sleepy, or oversensitized G-spot can be coaxed to sweet reception, if sufficient care and attention are dedicated to “retraining” it to respond positively to direct contact.
Note that the G-spot is connected to the powerful pelvic splanchnic nerve, and so stimulating the area may evoke more emotional responses than those derived through clitoral stimulation. It is for this reason that Tantric lovers associate G-spot stimulation with the opening of the heart chakra, and the foundation of intimate bonds between partners.
Women, that means that if you are a novice to the effects of G-spot stimulation, you may wish to explore the zone on your own first. A solo masturbation ritual will help you get to know your G-spot and permit those who suffer from G-spot numbness, oversensitivity, or related anxiety to awaken the sensitive area gradually and experience the deep degrees of satisfaction it can and should provide. Once you feel comfortable with G-spot stimulation on your own, invite your lover to help navigate your sacred river.
Most informed lovers are more than willing to share in the mutual delights of G-spot stimulation and female ejaculation, but some men may initially fear that their own pleasure will dissipate in the time that it takes to awaken the G-spot and provoke emission. Others may be intimidated by women’s potential to ejaculate and squirt repeatedly without compromising their sexual fulfillment or their desire. But G-spot stimulation can only augment the male partner’s pleasure, as the Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony transpires over extended periods of arousal in which both partners alternately provide and receive sensations, both genitally and extra-genitally oriented. In addition, if the male partner is skilled in the techniques of ejaculation control, he will have plenty of occasions to reach the pinnacles of his own pleasure—keep in mind that the most effective aphrodisiac is the pleasure that we provide.
If you are an experienced femme fontaine, never take an unknowing lover by surprise, but rather participate directly in the dismantling of the female emission taboo by preparing him or her in advance. Guiding your partner lovingly, especially in a ritualized context that is conducive to mutual arousal, will reinforce your intimate bond while allowing your partner to develop the sexual skills that call the G-spot into action.
Stroking the G-spot before the physical signs of female arousal have fully manifested is likely to cause more discomfort than pleasure, while climaxing, either clitorally or via the A-spot (the zone that lies deep within the vaginal canal near the cervix) increases the G-spot’s receptivity to touch, as the female prostate becomes engorged with ejaculate fluid. Envision the highly sensitive G-spot as the delta of the sacred river that originates in the prostate. You must awaken the receptivity of the G-spot in order to eventually encourage the emission of its sacred fluids.
A woman who is a novice to the G-spot’s powers should orgasm, then “peak” (repeatedly push one’s orgasmic limit without cumming) before making direct contact with the highly sensitive area. The more charged with sexual vibration, the greater her receptivity to any form of stimulation. As soon as the warm, soft interiors of the vaginal canal are well lubricated and the female genitals begin to swell with pleasure, the G-spot will become more turgid and thus easier to locate. Some lovers confuse the wetness that high levels of sexual arousal generate in the vagina with female ejaculation, but remember that female emissions do not exit the body through the vaginal opening but directly through the urethral opening. However, just like the swelling of the G-spot, vaginal lubrication indicates that the G-spot is receptive to touch and signals that ejaculate fluid is beginning to build inside the female prostate.
Once arousal has deepened and the genitals have become engorged with excitement, great attention can be dedicated to the G-spot. For a novice, the fingers are the best method for understanding the zone, whether you are a woman exploring her own G-spot in a solo masturbation ritual or the partner of a woman.
Feel for a slightly raised mass of tissue approximately the size and shape of an almond on the anterior wall of the vagina, close to the vaginal opening. Explore its contours and then stroke it, gradually increasing the pressure. The pressure you apply should never generate discomfort. Meditate on the G-spot: Focus your full attention on the area and experiment with the range of sensations it provides. Women, breathe deeply and with intention into these sensations as they gradually build, and the pleasure will be accompanied by an elevated state of relaxation and mental clarity. During this erotic meditation, your sensory awareness will become ever more acute—augmenting your perception of pleasure and allowing the sensations to radiate from the genitals to the extremities of the body. Body, mind, and spirit will benefit.
Note that simply sliding one or two fingers into the vagina will not call the G-spot into action; the area responds to direct and persistent contact. Once the G-spot’s responses become familiar, try another object—a partner’s penis or fingers, a diletto, or what is commonly known as a G-spotter.
Women, if your pleasure builds to the point of a G-spot orgasm, embrace its unequaled sensations. If, on the other hand, a clitoral orgasm rises on your sexually charged horizon, keep from succumbing to its pleasures—peak and surf its crest, but try to back off before the orgasmic wave actually breaks. This will prompt a surge of ejaculate fluid in the prostate while driving the sexual tension even higher. After all, patience is a virtue; peaking is not a denial of your pleasures but an enhancement in the context of extended playtime, and the results are likely to push you over the edge of ecstasy.
If your partner uses his penis or his or her fingers to penetrate you, he or she will perceive the various degrees of sensation that the vagina’s tensing, gentle pushing, and relaxing will provide. This warm, wet genital embrace has the added advantage of enhancing your partner’s levels of excitement as well as yours. But note that, given the length of time needed to generate the ecstatic conditions that build up ejaculate fluid within the female prostate and provoke its emission, a man must be careful to avoid passing “the point of no return.” Consider that even an experienced femme fontaine may require anywhere from thirty to forty minutes to completely awaken the G-spot and attain the degrees of arousal that lead to emission. This holds particularly true when she has not engaged in sexual contact for some time.
Deep thrusts provide for deep pleasures, but as the G-spot lies just inside the entryway to the vaginal canal, shallower thrusts will stimulate the area more directly. Shallower thrusts will also stimulate a man’s glans and heighten his levels of sensitivity and arousal. Men can execute the manual methods of ejaculation control at any time during the ceremony’s progression, when necessary. For example, the “squeeze method” at the base of the penis, described in the chapter “Riding the Orgasmic Wave: Male Ejaculation Control,” allows the man to avoid surpassing “the point of no return,” possibly even experiencing an internal orgasm, while he continues to provide the pleasures of penetration. The squeeze method also increases the fullness of the erection and permits the male partner to take a more direct and decisive aim at his target—the G-spot. If things get too hot to handle, he may opt to provide manual stimulation or use a diletto or G-spotter until he regains control.
The G-spot may also be stimulated indirectly through the fine inner membrane that separates the rectum from the vaginal canal during anal sex. Do not forget that anal-to-vaginal contact is absolutely forbidden, whether it is performed with the fingers, the penis, or any other tool. If either you or your partner have touched the anus, you must wash your hands, remove your latex gloves, or change the condom before touching the vulva or the vagina—careless anal-to-vaginal contact is almost guaranteed to result in vaginal infection. Vaginal irritation and a trip to the pharmacy should not be what women wake up to after an evening of transcendental sex!
During G-spot stimulation, the intensity of the strokes should gradually increase, echoing the woman’s levels of arousal and sensitivity. Firm pressure and more decisive strokes will soon cause distinct tingling sensations to emanate from the highly aroused G-spot. The sensations are also commonly described as flutters, pulses, or chills, and some women wrongly associate them with the need to urinate. In reality, these signals from the pelvic splanchnic nerve represent the first phase of the G-spot orgasm, as well as the first signs of imminent ejaculation. Learning to relax into the sensations of G-spot stimulation, rather than suppressing them, will open an entirely new dimension in the pleasure realm.
Women, because these signals from the pelvic splanchnic nerve are commonly misinterpreted as a pressing need to urinate, make sure to relieve yourself before beginning the Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony (and at any other time you feel the need during the course of it). Soon you will learn to recognize the difference between G-spot sensations and those that signal the need to empty your bladder.
If the G-spot is stimulated continuously, the tingling sensations emanating from it will increase in intensity. Women should breathe into these sensations and try to visualize their vibrating force. This will coax the sensations to spread down to the toes and out to the fingertips. They may even radiate straight up to the top of the head. Women, the more you are mentally present and aware of these sensations, the more sexual energy will build and flow throughout the entire body. Let your lover know just how good he or she is making you feel when you begin to sense the radiating, full-body effects of G-spot stimulation, as they are a very clear indication that your pleasure is peaking and emission is imminent.
Even though the degree of ecstatic pleasure that you begin to experience may seem unbearable, you or your partner should continue to stimulate the G-spot. When pleasure peaks, consciously prevent your PC muscle from tensing. Instead, as you do in the PC muscle flex, push the muscle gently downward and then relax the PC muscle completely. This “push and relax” technique is intrinsic to a woman’s ability to ejaculate or squirt. Those who eventually unveil the powers of G-spot stimulation that lead to emission will find that this technique will become natural, if not automatic, with experience.
Developing greater PC muscle strength increases a woman’s awareness of her genitals, intensifying her overall perception of the pleasures that genital stimulation provides. Flexing the PC muscles as an exercise, as described in the chapter “The Genital Gym: Strengthening the Pubococcygeal Muscle,” helps to retrain the body to respond positively to ejaculation and squirting. During the heightened pleasures in the Sexual Ceremony, flexing the PC muscle will prompt the flow of ejaculate fluid into the prostate.
Most women actually cannot emit while they are being penetrated deeply or when direct pressure is applied to the G-spot. In time, you and your partner will learn to anticipate the point of emission, signaled by fluttering sensations and the complete relaxation of the vaginal walls. At first, you may need to guide your lover, either physically or verbally, but over time, he or she will learn to interpret and respond effectively to the downward push of the vaginal walls. At this time, the object of penetration should be pulled out to the very edge of the vaginal opening. If sexual tension has mounted gradually, and the orgasm (or orgasms) and all of the pleasures that lead to its exhilarating manifestation have been embraced, you and your partner are likely to witness the phenomena of female emission.
But women, if you do not experience emission, don’t put pressure on yourself. Resume stroking your G-spot in the same deep, decisive manner or invite your partner to continue to stroke it, or divert your attention to other forms of stimulation and try again later. Sexual tension will continue to mount as long as you continue to play.
In the case that you and your lover succeed in opening the levee of the sacred river, revel in the liberating and, needless to say, wet sense of release and overall well-being it instills. After you have bathed in the afterglow, you will probably feel inclined to thank your lover for his or her generosity by providing some of your own undivided attention.
No matter what kind of stimulation is provided, as long as the woman continues to be aroused, fluid will continue to be produced within the prostate. If partners engage in the pleasures of penetration once again, they are likely to discover that the G-spot is highly sensitive to even the most subtle forms of contact, and ejaculation and squirting can now become integrated into the extended playtime of the ceremony.
As female ejaculation does not impose a refractory period, it does not slow the progression of the Sexual Ceremony, and ejaculation may occur again and again over the course of the ceremony’s evolution. In that case, the time between a woman’s consecutive emissions is likely to diminish, and the quantity of the liquids that each emission generates may also be augmented. These elements will also depend upon the levels of sexual skill, awareness, and acceptance as well as the degrees of arousal and desire of both partners.
After repeated and particularly abundant emissions, some women may experience the equivalent of men’s “little death,” the need to rest and recuperate. Others may have a sudden craving for mineral-rich foods. (I personally crave oysters and anchovies!) Women, allow your body to be your guide; take an intermission in the Sexual Ceremony if you feel the need, and, throughout the ceremony, remember to drink plenty of mineral water. Female squirting can result in the loss of a lot of precious fluid.
During intense periods of ecstatic stimulation and repeated ejaculation or squirting, women are likely to experience unprecedented degrees of genital swelling and sensitivity. Lovers, on that occasion, use a handheld mirror to get a view of the genitals and share in the vision. Plump with love, all of the visible elements of the clitoral system will be engorged and highly receptive to touch. The tissues surrounding the urethra may even swell to dimensions comparable in size to the clitoris. When the G-spot and the U-spot are thus engorged with excitement and highly sensitized, they may be stimulated orally to ecstatic effect, provoking U-spot and G-spot orgasms, as well as emission.
Repeated ejaculation, in combination with multiple orgasms—whether they occur in association with each other or separately as a response to heightened degrees of pleasure—will provoke a surge of endorphins into the bloodstream and incite a sexual high. Over long periods of arousal, an uninterrupted free flow of sexual energy may also be induced, which has been described as an extended or massive orgasm. This is what men experience when they learn to ride the waves of climax over and over again during long periods of arousal.
Instigating the buildup of emissions takes time, skill, and loving attention, and some women may simply need more time to awaken their G-spot than others. And not everyone can shed the negative repercussions that the pleasure taboo has heaped upon bodies, minds, and spirits over the past two thousand years. However, partners who refrain from creating performance anxiety and regularly practice direct G-spot stimulation are likely to experience the prostatic flux sooner or later.
Also with practice, partners will discover the sexual positions that are most favorable to G-spot orgasms and emission. Some women may prefer to be on top of male partners, while others will respond when they are penetrated from behind. Some like reclining in a sling—a form of hammock designed to either hang from the ceiling or from a four-post structure—or sitting on a high countertop that puts their genitals at the height of their partner’s object of penetration, be it a penis, finger, or diletto. This position allows both partners to see everything—from her (and his) swollen sex to her jets of ecstasy. There are no rules—experiment, enjoy the journey, and transcend together!