I’m drinking my drink at the last chance saloon.

I’m over the limit and over the moon.

Though I’ve gone on the town, to the dogs, to the bad,

Still I’m one of the boys and a bit of a lad.

Do you know where I’m coming from, know where I’m at?

When they’re moving the goalposts I keep a straight bat.

In a game of two halves, I keep serving straight aces

To get a result on a regular basis.

It’s been dubbed a sea-change and the tide’s on the turn.

Now it’s money for jam and there’s money to burn.

But you haven’t a prayer if you haven’t the clout

And the word on the streets is THE JURY IS OUT.

There’s a confidence nosedive, an upsurge in crime,

Still I’m going for broke now, at this point in time.

Far too many loose cannon just shoot from the hip,

And firm hands on the tiller must steady the ship.

With the dollar in free fall, the markets are nervous.

The eyes of the world are all paying lip service.

They claim heads will roll if we sit on our hands.

We must change hearts and minds and repackage our brands.

Community leaders, the movers and shakers,

Power-brokers, risk-takers, butt-kickers, ball-breakers,

Have taken down barriers, mended their fences.

Come out with one voice and by general consensus.

Put your ears to the ground in your ivory towers,

You must vest the grass roots with executive powers,

Out there in the real world the silent majority

Speak for the people with growing authority.

You must kick that in touch. You must take this on board.

You must hit the right note, ring a bell, strike a chord.

You can stink like a polecat or smell like a rose is,

You’re out of your SKULL and you get up our noses!

Too gutted and knackered to put in the boot,

I’m as drunk as a skunk, I’m as pissed as a newt,

I’m as sick as a parrot, as sick as a dog.

I’ll go out like a light and I’ll sleep like a log.

JOHN WHITWORTH