CONTENTS

  1. Title Page
  2.  
  3. 1 | THE OPPOSITE SEX
  4. John Hegley: A Declaration of Need
  5. Connie Bensley: Choice
  6. Gregory O’Brien: Love poem
  7. Rita Ann Higgins: The Did-You-Come-Yets of the Western World
  8. Kim Addonizio: You Don’t Know What Love Is
  9. Selima Hill: Please Can I Have a Man
  10. Tony Hoagland: Romantic Moment
  11. Ivor Cutler: Three Sisters
  12. Dermot Healy: One Minute with Eileen
  13. Ivor Cutler: For sixpence
  14. Peter Finch: Kipper on the Lips
  15. Julia Darling: Forecasting
  16. Caroline Bird: Trouble Came to the Turnip
  17. Lorraine Mariner: Stanley
  18. Joanne Limburg: Inner Bloke
  19. Geoff Hattersley: How She Puts It
  20. Eleanor Brown: Bitcherel
  21. Sophie Hannah: Rubbish at Adultery
  22. Fleur Adcock: Smokers for Celibacy
  23. Finuala Dowling: Doo-wop girls of the universe
  24. Priscila Uppal: The Old Debate of Don Quixote vs Sancho Panza
  25.  
  26. 2 | MATTERS OF LIFE & DEATH
  27. Glyn Maxwell: Don’t Waste Your Breath
  28. Michael Leunig: The Awfulisers
  29. Finuala Dowling: Well
  30. Ian McMillan: Burst Pipe with ‘A Level’ Notes
  31. Kay Ryan: Spiderweb
  32. Michael Rosen: I ran away from home…
  33. Jonathan Edwards: The Voice in which My Mother Read to Me
  34. Sharon Olds: Self-Portrait, Rear View
  35. Lucille Clifton: homage to my hips
  36. Tony Hoagland: My Father’s Vocabulary
  37. Adrian Mitchell: Shaven Heads
  38. Billy Collins: Forgetfulness
  39. Oli Hazzard: The Inability to Recall the Precise Word for Something
  40. Gus Ferguson: Samsara
  41. Russell Edson: The Antiques Shop
  42. Roger McGough: Let Me Die a Youngman’s Death
  43. Roger McGough: Not for Me a Youngman’s Death
  44. Gus Ferguson: Not a rumour, a murmur
  45. Wendy Cope: My Funeral
  46. Paul Durcan: Tullynoe: Tête-à-Tête in the Priest’s Parlour
  47. Finuala Dowling: How Sweet the Dead Are Now
  48.  
  49. 3 | NOWT SO FUNNY AS FOLK
  50. Geoff Hattersley: In Phil’s Butchers
  51. Matthew Welton: The fundament of wonderment
  52. Adrian Mitchell: Ten Ways to Avoid Lending Your Wheelbarrow to Anybody
  53. Sam Riviere: The Prince
  54. Daljit Nagra: Singh Song!
  55. Paul Durcan: A Man Besotted by his Batch
  56. Brendan Kennelly: Front Gate
  57. Matthew Sweeney: Black Moon
  58. Ian McMillan: Pit Closure as Art
  59. U.A. Fanthorpe: You Will Be Hearing from Us Shortly
  60. Duncan Forbes: Job Description
  61. Rita Ann Higgins: Women’s Inhumanity to Women
  62. James Tate: The Ice Cream Man
  63. Julie O’Callaghan: Managing the Common Herd
  64. Deborah Garrison: Fight Song
  65. John Whitworth: Ruling-Class Sonnet with Capitals and Obscenities
  66. Benjamin Zephaniah: This Be The Worst
  67. Thomas Lux: Plague Victims Catapulted Over Walls into Besieged City
  68. Thomas Lux: The People of the Other Village
  69. Dean Young: I See a Lily on Thy Brow
  70. James Tate: The Native Americans
  71. Simon Rae: Nursery Rhyme
  72.  
  73. 4 | PECULIAR PLACES
  74. Duncan Forbes: America
  75. John Hartley Williams: The Good Ship Venus
  76. Kate Fox: Our Ends in the North
  77. John Agard: Alternative Anthem
  78. Kit Wright: Everyone Hates the English
  79. W.N. Herbert: To a Mousse
  80. Irfan Merchant: Address Tae Chicken Tikka Masala
  81. Lorna Wallace: Tae a Selfie
  82. Jackie Kay: Maw Broon Goes for Colonic Irrigation
  83.  
  84. 5 | SOUNDS TRUE
  85. Marin Sorescu: Omens
  86. Elizabeth Thomas: Lies My Mother Told Me
  87. Caroline Bird: I Know This Because You Told Me
  88. Peter Reading: FROM Going On
  89. John Gallas: For his Islamic enthusiasm…
  90. James Tate: How the Pope Is Chosen
  91. Marin Sorescu: Superstition
  92. Kay Ryan: Blandeur
  93. Julie O’Callaghan: The Sounds of Earth
  94. Bill Manhire: Hotel Emergencies
  95. Dean Young: Static City
  96. Kit Wright: The All Purpose Country and Western Self Pity Song
  97. Matt Harvey: Thwok
  98. W.N. Herbert: The Black Wet
  99. Liz Lochhead: The Man in the Comic Strip
  100.  
  101. 6 | ANIMAL MAGIC
  102. Dean Young: Convinced by a Nalungiaq Song
  103. Jo Shapcott: Goat
  104. James Tate: It Happens Like This
  105. John Whitworth: From My Rough Goatbook
  106. Martín Espada: DSS Dream
  107. Russell Edson: The Joy Attendant on the Little Journey
  108. Russell Edson: Counting Sheep
  109. Chrissy Williams: Sheep
  110. Jo Shapcott: Lies
  111. Jo Shapcott: Love Song with a Flock of Sheep
  112. Deryn Rees-Jones: Sheep Piece
  113. Stephen Dobyns: Spiritual Chickens
  114. Tiffany Atkinson: The Man Whose Left Hand Thought It Was a Chicken
  115. Ken Smith: The Chicken Variations
  116. Selima Hill: Cow
  117. Gus Ferguson: The Metempsychosis of the Yak
  118. Frank Kuppner: A Prodigy of Nature
  119. Matthew Sweeney: Horse Music
  120. Paul Farley: The Heron
  121. Helen Ivory: Chameleon
  122. Kay Ryan: Crustacean Island
  123.  
  124. 7 | WORDS & WORSE
  125. John Whitworth: Home Truths
  126. Oli Hazzard: A Few Precepts
  127. Wendy Cope: Proverbial Ballade
  128. John Whitworth: Like the Proverbial
  129. Paul Muldoon: Symposium
  130. Robert Phillips: Nothing’s As It Should Be
  131. Oli Hazzard: With Hindsight
  132. Billy Collins: Adage
  133. Simon Armitage: Ivory
  134. Imtiaz Dharker: Speech balloon
  135. Billy Collins: What She Said
  136. Billy Collins: Oh My God!
  137. Barbara Hamby: Ode to American English
  138. Imtiaz Dharker: I swear
  139. Thomas Lux: Invective
  140. Peter Didsbury: Malediction
  141. Thomas Lux: Rather
  142. David Lehman: One Size Fits All: A Critical Essay
  143. William Grono: The Critic
  144. Kay Ryan: Water under the Bridge
  145. Paul Muldoon: Errata
  146. Iggy McGovern: Eirata
  147.  
  148. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  149. INDEX OF POETS
  150. About the Author
  151. Copyright