‘Ah, he was a grand man.’

‘He was: he fell out of the train going to Sligo.’

‘He did: he thought he was going to the lavatory.’

‘He did: in fact he stepped out the rear door of the train.’

‘He did: God, he must have got an awful fright.’

‘He did: he saw that it wasn’t the lavatory at all.’

‘He did: he saw that it was the railway tracks going away from him.’

‘He did: I wonder if…but he was a grand man.’

‘He was: he had the most expensive Toyota you can buy.’

‘He had: well, it was only beautiful.’

‘It was: he used to have an Audi.’

‘He had: as a matter of fact he used to have two Audis.’

‘He had: and then he had an Avenger.’

‘He had: and then he had a Volvo.’

‘He had: in the beginning he had a lot of Volkses.’

‘He had: he was a great man for the Volkses.’

‘He was: did he once have an Escort?’

‘He had not: he had a son a doctor.’

‘He had: and he had a Morris Minor too.’

‘He had: he had a sister a hairdresser in Kilmallock.’

‘He had: he had another sister a hairdresser in Ballybunion.’

‘He had: he was put in a coffin which was put in his father’s cart.’

‘He was: his lady wife sat on top of the coffin driving the donkey.’

‘She did: Ah, but he was a grand man.’

‘He was: he was a grand man…’

‘Good night, Father.’

‘Good night, Mary.’

PAUL DURCAN