CHAPTER 8
Step 4: Physical Action
In Step 2, we catalogued our individual physical responses to anxiety ignited by law-related interpersonal exchanges. We learned that when our natural introverted resistance to certain interactive scenarios kicks in, or our brains interpret social interface as potentially threatening (based on past life experiences), our bodies launch protective biological and physiological fire-walls. Adrenaline surges. Energy pumps through our extremities, priming us to battle or bolt. Some of us tremble; others perspire. Our hearts thump, voices quiver, stomachs twist. You might feel winded and lightheaded. I turn Rorschach-blotchy. Until now, many of us might not have understood that our body’s preparation for a looming interpersonal interaction is a measure of armor, an individualized Department of Homeland Security. Instead, we might have felt body betrayal. Thankfully, if we embrace this positive revelation and make minor adjustments to the way we physically approach each anxiety-producing task, our bodies become a vehicle to bolster our mental strength and amplify our lawyer voices. Seemingly infinitesimal adjustments to the way we sit, stand, move our arms and legs, breathe, gaze, and aim our voices can have a colossal impact on our ability to calm ourselves down and excel in a law-related interface.359
PHYSICAL STANCE
Our instinct to self-safeguard is natural and automatic; our bodies indeed might respond protectively in an initial flash of panic for a long while, possibly even the rest of our lives. Many of us instinctively react to law-related stress by folding ourselves inward, shrugging shoulders, crossing limbs, making ourselves smaller and less of a target. By caving the skeletal frame inward, however, we do ourselves a disservice, giving our power surge of energy less space to undulate, blocking oxygen, and limiting blood flow. Unfortunately, our bodily origami can trigger or exacerbate many outwardly visible symptoms as we restrict and constrict instead of unfold, unfurl, and expand. In Step 4, we train ourselves to recognize these protective physical reflexes as they occur, and then consciously adjust our frame, opening back up, growing bigger rather than smaller, allowing our energy, breath, and blood to flow unrestrictedly, transforming our body into a supportive stanchion for our voice.
Do you have a favorite athlete or sport? Notice how most athletes stand when preparing to move.360 Weightlifters approach a deadlift barbell with an upright frame, shoulders back, hands open, toes and knees angled outward. Golfers face the tee in a centered stance, bending knees, adjusting arms and hands, aligning their bodies toward the ball. Tennis players greet the net openly, facilitating the ability to scoot left or right depending on which direction a serve bounces. Football offensive linemen stabilize on two firmly planted legs and one or two hands, a sturdy tripod or quadripod at the line of scrimmage. Of course, tightrope walkers distribute weight evenly to avoid tumbling off the rope! Ballet dancers elongate every vertebrae, angling feet and knees outward, awaiting the first musical note. These stances are a starting point: conscious preparation for subsequent movement. Interestingly, legal communication experts Johnson and Hunter note that “[d]ancers and stage actors are taught to think of good posture as a direction to feel and not a position to hold.”361 As we begin to consider how best to use our physical bodies to amplify our voices, we can think about how to improve our starting positions to be prepared for and sense eventual movement in a positive direction. Finally invoking our inner Nike athletes here, let’s “just feel it.”
As we approach each interpersonal interaction or performance-oriented event, instead of crumpling inward in protective mode, we must broaden our physical stance—uncross our legs and arms, reach the top of our heads to the sky, distribute our weight evenly on feet planted on the ground, whether we are seated or standing. How you are sitting right now? Are your legs crossed? Uncross them. Are your arms overlapping? (Well, one hand is probably holding this book.) Uncross your arms. Position your weight evenly on your glutes, legs, and feet. Elongate your spine. Open your arms and hands for a moment, and inhale a deep breath. That’s the beginning of open uninhibited power right there. Once we become accustomed to balancing and grounding our physical frame, we use that aligned strength as a conduit. We channel energy, blood, and oxygen effectively to minimize anxiety, maximize clear thinking, and connect our thoughts to our voices. As Naistadt explains, “[i]n public speaking situations, as pressure builds and you feel the surge of excess energy it creates, you must be able to physically control the movement of this energy so that it is released outwardly, through the communication—thereby adding to the communication’s strength—and not inwardly, jeopardizing the communication.”362
Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist and Associate Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School, delivered an engaging TED Talk about body power dynamics. She champions the message, “our bodies change our minds.”363 Professor Cuddy does, in part, endorse the concept of “fake it till you make it,” although she modifies this mantra to “fake it till you become it.” Many introverted, shy, and socially anxious folks have been urged their entire lives to “fake” their way through interpersonal scenarios—without success in reducing related stress. Therefore, while I respectfully disagree with the “fake it” approach, I wholeheartedly subscribe to Professor Cuddy’s theorem that a person’s physical stance and confidence level are linked. In her TED Talk, she asks, “what do we do when we feel powerless … we close up … we wrap ourselves up … we make ourselves small.” We “collapse.” To counteract this crumpling effect, she recommends adopting a “high-power pose” for a period of time before a “stressful evaluative situation.” Professor Cuddy’s high-power poses entail adopting a wide-open stance, adjusting legs into a balanced position (sitting or standing), placing arms on hips or clasping hands behind the head—for two minutes. Her scientific studies reveal that individuals who assume a potent physical bearing like this can increase the sense of internal power and externally project confidence.
As introverted, shy, and socially anxious law students and lawyers, if we consciously adjust our physical bodies into this recommended balanced, open, stabilized yet flexible position, we can breathe with purpose and begin channeling energy, oxygen, and blood in constructive manners.
BREATH
We all know our brains need oxygen to function, yet sometimes, we forget to breathe.
Last year, feeling that my fitness regimen had reached a plateau, I enrolled in a lesson at an authentic boxing gym called Trinity Boxing in Lower Manhattan. I already work out almost daily—lifting weights, climbing the treadmill on a steep incline, spinning at SoulCycle—so I figured, how hard could boxing be? Plus, I’m a fan of the sport.
At my lesson, I started off strong, dancing through jump-rope drills, listening for a two-minute bell to signal my stops and starts. Then, my trainer, Butch, wrapped my hands in bright yellow gauzy tape and slid on my first pair of boxing gloves. Through more two-minute drills, he taught me how to jab, cross, hook, and upper-cut. He adjusted my stance, coaching me to pivot my foot with each punch, “like squashing a lit cigarette.” He reminded me, “Keep your hands up to protect your face. Stop overthinking. Relax.” And then he put me in the ring. For another two minutes, he directed: “Jab, cross, hook, duck, swish, shuffle …” while he skipped around the ring and I followed. I felt great, and powerful. At first. The bell rang. We stopped. A twinge of dizziness washed over me, but I managed to lift my smartwater bottle with the bulbous boxing gloves and pour water down my throat. The bell clanged and we started anew. I made it through the next round but when the stop bell pinged, I stumbled. I tried to hang onto the ropes but my gloved hands felt like giant mushy pillows. The room orbited. “Stick her in a chair underneath the fan and grab her a Gatorade!” I heard the gym owner John yell to Butch. That neon blue Gatorade tasted like nectar of the gods. As I regained coherence, John and Butch summed it up, “You forgot to breathe.” They were right. I was so worried about failing. About looking foolish, punching “like a girl” in a predominantly male gym, seeming like I didn’t belong. All that brain chatter. Not enough air. I needed to breathe, and remind myself that punching like a girl involves authentic inherent power. You are a girl; punch hard like one.
Legal communication experts Johnson and Hunter advise: “Once you learn to mindfully control your breathing, it will help you calm down, project your voice, and oxygenate your brain.”364 When we feel out of place, get nervous, obsess, or intensely concentrate, we lose control of our breath. Now that we know this fact, we can learn to recognize when that phenomenon starts happening, stop, and consciously focus on air. Inhale, exhale. Count to 5 or 10 breaths if we need to, but we must respire. Take a deep breath right now. It feels good. Do it again. Even one giant deep breath recalibrates our system and gives our brain a power surge. Add breath onto the physical open stance: plant your feet, open your frame, elongate each vertebra, flip back your shoulders, breathe deeply.
APPENDAGES
Legs, arms, and hands can be bothersome tattletales of nervous energy: Knees shake, feet bounce, arms jitter, hands tremble. Instead of letting our appendages get the best of us in stressful interpersonal interactions, let’s employ them as instruments to channel the excess energy in the direction we want it to go. By grounding our feet in a balanced stance, we propel superfluous energy into the floor. Our hands can drive extraneous energy into physical objects:365 a hidden totem, a stress ball, or a desk. These objects are resilient; they can take it. Further, Johnson and Hunter suggest offering “away nervousness with the give gesture”366—outstretching our arms and hands when making a point. Experiment with appendages, non-distracting physical objects, and gestures and consider which energy-dispersing maneuvers work best for you.
EYE CONTACT
When a professor commences a Socratic exchange or an aggressive lawyer lobs a challenging salvo in a negotiation, a quiet law student or lawyer instinctively might look away. When not quite ready for interpersonal exchange, or anxious toward it, we naturally sever eye contact with the speaker. Mayyyybe if I look away, or down, or sideways, or up, he won’t see me and will move on to someone else. However, eye contact is another effective way to thrust extraneous energy out of our bodies toward our audience, like a laser beam (but not as scary).
In preparing for 1L oral arguments, I advise law students to scan the panel of three judges for a friendly face, a nodder, or a smiler. Hopefully, there will be at least one. As a professor, I love noticing a nodder, the student who bobs in sync with a lecture, offering positive reinforcement to the teacher. When we engage in an interpersonal encounter, instead of averting our gaze in self-protective mode, we must consciously forge eye contact, hopefully with a nodder or smiler, and then, after a few moments, shift our visual connection to another person. We can use this conscious eye contact and movement to channel energy outward and around the room, first to the nodder/smiler (if there is one), then to the less friendlies, returning to the nodder/smiler when we need a boost.
If there is no nodder or smiler, consider imagining one (or more), just to power you through the event. Apologies for another Ally McBeal reference, but … when lead actor Calista Flockhart’s character, Ally, a lawyer, needed encouragement in a stressful situation, she imagined three backup singers, The Pips, at her flank. Think about it: who would be your Pips? If there is no nodder in the room to help bridge natural eye contact, it’s perfectly fine to imagine your biggest fan or cadre of backup singers nodding and snapping right along to everything you say.
VOICE MAGNIFICATION
Just like we try to make ourselves invisible by constricting our bodies and averting our gaze, many hesitant speakers lower their voices, so as not to be heard. If they can’t hear me, maybe they will forget I’m here. Even for a not-so-nervous introvert, voice projection—without conscious awareness and intention—can seem energy-depleting and so we instinctively try to avoid it. (I need a nap even thinking about conversing in a multi-party conference call or a group brainstorming meeting.)
However, Naistadt points out that “[v]oice projection is a key ingredient in releasing repressed nervous energy and relieving your tension immediately.”367 She explains that “as you must physically exert yourself to up your volume to any level, you automatically release any nervous tension you may be feeling, and make yourself relax.”368 She recommends that the simplest way to project one’s voice in a group setting is to “pick a person in the audience who is farthest away from you and start by speaking to that person.”369 We can combine this maneuver with eye contact for a double-energy-projection whammy.
Likewise, on a conference call, Dr. Kahnweiler suggests, “Don’t sit, stand. Yes, even though people can’t see you, they will hear more energy in your voice. Standing up is proven to make your voice more robust as your diaphragm opens and you breathe in more oxygen.”370 This works. When I read Dr. Kahnweiler’s book, I realized that every time I begin to speak on a law-related conference call in the privacy of my home office, I instinctively stand up. I pace the room. The moment the call concludes, I plunk down on the couch, depleted. But the standing and pacing enable me to boost and then channel my energy for the duration of the call, articulating my words more clearly and projecting assertiveness.
HANDLING BLUSHING AND SWEATING
As an epic blusher and sweater, I can vouch that these can be two of the more frustrating external manifestations of nervousness toward social interaction, especially in legal contexts where vulnerability feels scary. Obviously, other people can see blushing and sweating. And while these visceral reactions absolutely can be managed, unfortunately—in the moment—they take a little longer than some of the other physical manifestations to abate.
According to the National Health Service in the United Kingdom, blushing occurs when “[a] sudden and strong emotion—such as embarrassment or stress—causes your sympathetic nervous system to widen the blood vessels in your face. This increases the blood flow to your skin, producing the redness associated with blushing.”371 Sweating likewise reflects a mind-body connection. Our nerves naturally generate energy, which triggers body heat, stimulates sweat glands, and releases perspiration as a form of regulating body temperature; as sweat evaporates, water absorbs the heat from our skin. We cannot stop these natural chains of events, but we can set ourselves up to stay as cool as possible—mentally and physically—and control how we react to the blush and sweat. First, it’s likely we are harboring useless historical messages about our blush or sweat, which we can identify and discard. It’s time to reprogram our attitudes toward these physical responses. This is not easy to do, I know. I still initially get annoyed with myself when I blush, which happens often, in the most inopportune times, around the worst possible audiences, often when I’m not even nervous. But now, more quickly, I catch the self-shaming, and replace the negative judgmental messages with reprogrammed positive statements. If your body reacts to interpersonal interaction by sending a red-hot flush to your face, to not let this annoyance derail you, you must, as Hilliard urges, assume “ownership”372 of the blush. You know it’s coming. It’s impossible to stop it. Remember Hilliard’s view: “To see a blush is to celebrate life’s living … fullness, ripeness, color, and flourishing life.”373 It’s up to us to swap the script: “OK, I’m blushing again. Whatever. It’s part of me. I’m alive and fully of energy and power. It will go away in a few minutes. Just keep talking.”
I once was the turtleneck and scarf queen, trying to hide my blush and sweat. But the more layers I wore just exacerbated the overheating, which also aggravated the sweating. Now I just own it. I plan ahead and wear clothes in which I will not feel overheated (and I keep a cool-looking bandana or handkerchief handy just in case). And then, if it happens, I go full-on-blush. Just be it. If non-blushers feel the need to point out the blush, “Are you OK?? You look overheated? Why is your face so red?” I respond, “I blush. My face gets red. It’s annoying, but I’m fine.” And in 5 to 10 minutes, the blush disappears, my body cools down, the sweat stops, and I feel all right again.
FORTIFYING YOUR MACHINE
If you already enjoy exercise, or at least engage in it, consider your fitness regimen as another integral part of this mental and physical strength training process. Alternatively, if the idea of hitting the gym makes you shudder, try to reframe your mindset. Beyond aesthetics, your exercise routine can be about fortifying your mental strength through your physique, aligning your posture, getting in touch with your breathing, and enriching your stamina: all to help you power through law-related interpersonal exchanges.
Thankfully, I cherish exercise, but I never really appreciated how much working out drives my endurance and strength to forge through, and even triumph within, stressful interactive scenarios until the semester I taught 130 students in an Evidence class. In my smaller legal writing courses with 20 students, I move a lot during each class period, straying from the podium, sitting on a table when engaging in more casual banter with students, or meandering around the classroom during collaborative exercises—so I am constantly recalibrating my energy level. However, the Evidence course—a traditional lecture class—tethered me to a podium for an hour and 15 minutes, narrating PowerPoint slides with rule-based patter, responding to students’ challenging questions about civil and criminal evidentiary rules. Often around the 60-minute mark, my energy waned. I blushed, sweated, and eyed the clock. Handling that many vibrant voices, the harsh glare of the fluorescent lighting, and what felt like a stadium-sized classroom was an introvert challenge to say the least. A year prior, I had become obsessed with an indoor cycling class (SoulCycle). During each 45-minute stint, the spinning teachers choreograph rhythmic movements on stationary bikes, chiming instructions about posture, alignment, and frame: “Shoulders back! Heart open! Eyes up! You didn’t walk in this room today to quit! We’re all in this together! Let’s stride out of here stronger than when we came in. 15 more minutes. Let’s go!” At the 60-minute mark in my Evidence class, when weariness and a strong urge to seek solitude crept in, I recalled my upbeat spinning instructors’ voices. I remembered that I didn’t die when I felt short of breath on the bike; instead, I realized I hadn’t really been breathing. Behind the podium, I subtly adjusted my stance: I unslouched, stopped leaning, stood up a tad taller, shifted my shoulders back a smidge, and opened my frame. Small movements helped me breathe and reenergize to push through to the end of each class session, giving my students the enthusiasm and attention they deserve.
Last year, I began working with a 27-year-old female trainer who competes in Strongman competitions and converts even her daintiest personal training clients to heavy lifting. Me, deadlifting and bench pressing? I watch as she loads 105 pounds of metal plates onto a 45-pound barbell intended for me and think, “Yeah, no way.” But I do it. Repeatedly. Each time I work with her, I leave the gym and strut back to the subway with borderline obnoxious swagger. Later, in a law school meeting, if a kernel of self-doubt pops in my brain, I hearken back to the 150-pound deadlift and think, “You’re strong and you try hard. Say what’s on your mind.”
I recently attended a conference about the future of legal education and met a female law school dean. When asked to share a “fun fact” about herself, she said, “I just competed in a powerlifting competition.” Perhaps we need a catchphrase: #lawprofswholift. Physical conditioning absolutely can enhance our mental strength.
Overall, if we anticipate and approach each interpersonal encounter by opening up and balancing our physical stance, consciously breathing, channeling extraneous energy through our appendages, forging eye contact, projecting our voices, and reprogramming our attitude toward habits like blushing and sweating, we can facilitate oxygen, blood, and energy flow to transform our bodies into an instrument for clear thinking, empowered communication, and human connection.
Exercise #5
Use this chart as a guide to reflect on the physical stress responses you identified in Step 2, and consider conscious adjustments you can make when preparing for, and stepping into, an interpersonal exchange in the legal context:
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Physical Characteristic |
Your Personal Physical Reaction to Stress Identified in Step 2 |
Physical Adjustments You Can Make in Approaching, and Participating in, an Interpersonal Encounter |
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Stance and Posture (Seated and Standing) |
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Breath |
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Appendages |
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Eye Contact |
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Voice Projection |
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Blushing |
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Sweating |
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