[“Lobo,” Giant and Cunning killer wolf who for more than 12 years roamed the Itasca and Red Lake areas in northern Minnesota killing more than 1,000 deer before a persistent farmer-trapper finally outsmarted trapped and shot him. On display at MORELL’S CHIPPEWA TRADING POST, Bemidji, Minn.]
6-11-99
A—This is me after driving 30 hrs and not-really-sleeping in the van. Fur a mess. Glassy eyes. Stiff as rigor mortis. But Lobo feels no pain. I keep telling myself I don’t either. (The first time I had Thai food, my mom ordered me a dish that smelled like peanut butter and tasted like fire. Thought I was going to die—eyes streaming, everything burning. My mom said not to think of it as pain, but just another kind of sensation. “It’s just a new feeling.” Ok, I thought, not pain. Not pain not pain not pain.) (I’m telling my legs that now. And my back. And myself.) I don’t think I can drive anymore. I miss your voice.
—R.