Whether young, old, or somewhere in between, many men consider the strength of their erection to be a powerful symbol of their virility and masculinity.
When my husband mentioned to several of his friends — most of whom, like him, are in their late 50s or early 60s — that I was writing a book on men’s health, they were interested, curious, and even enthusiastic. But invariably, the question always came round to, “Will the book tell me how to get it hard, and keep it hard longer?” I think we all know what they meant by “it.”
They — and their partners — desire reliably long-lasting, hard erections. Whether having such an erection is normal for you or, especially as you get older, a challenge to achieve, you will find that there are many herbs and formulas that will greatly enhance your potency. In fact, most of the herbs and recipes in this book support the ability to maintain erections and male virility in general, if only by virtue of the fact that they promote good health — and just a few happy by-products of good health are vitality, stamina, energy, and a strong libido, all of which contribute to a satisfying sex life.
As I spoke to the men in my life, I quickly realized that if I didn’t specifically address “boner health,” this book would most likely be overlooked by the very men who needed it most. So here goes, a section on the sexy herbs that will help men get hard and keep it hard longer. These herbs have been used for this purpose for centuries, and they have gained a certain reputation for building sexual prowess. They can definitely prolong and intensify your sexual experience, but like most herbs, they generally work best when used over a period of time to enhance and support your well-being. These herbs and formulas are sexual tonics — they’ll enhance your sex life over the long term by improving your overall health.
While herbs can serve as powerful allies in the bedroom, they work best when combined with other sexual “tonics” like foreplay and a healthy imagination. Some men have never really learned to enjoy foreplay, but it is the opening act that gets you — and your partner — excited and ready for the big show. As many people discover, sometimes the opening act is as good as or better than the main attraction. And don’t underestimate the stimulation that new adventures (i.e., getting out of your sexual routine) can bring to your sex life. Try new methods of foreplay, and use your imagination in ways you have, well, only imagined. The following herbal formulas can help with livening things up, but years of the same routine can dull or dampen even the best sex, so bring adventure back into the bedroom for renewed sexual pleasure.
Just a few happy by-products of good health are vitality, stamina, energy, and a strong libido, all of which contribute to a satisfying sex life.
You can learn more about each of these herbs in chapter 5. The brief profiles in that section give the suggested dosage for each herb for long-term use. However, when you’re using these herbs to boost your sexual performance, it is generally suggested to use a higher dosage and to take it 30 to 40 minutes before sex.
Pine pollen Pine pollen has been used for centuries in China and other Asian countries to enhance sexual prowess. Though pine pollen boasts an impressive list of vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients, its claim to fame is its libido-stimulating effects. It also increases energy, stamina, and mental alertness. Many men find that taking 2 to 3 tablespoons of pine pollen powder in the evening will ensure a healthy erection in the morning (though note that it’s not recommended to take pine pollen at this high dosage for an extended period of time). You can also try taking 2 to 3 teaspoons of the tincture 20 minutes before lovemaking.
Horny goat weed This herb has long held a reputation as a libido enhancer for both men and women. In China it is considered one of the best sexual tonics available and has been used for thousands of years to boost virility and potency. It contains icariin, a flavonoid that increases blood flow to the pelvic area and thereby makes it easier for many men to get and maintain an erection.
Maca Maca is a nutrient-dense food, a restorative, and a renowned sexual tonic for men and women. It is also considered an adaptogen, increasing stamina, endurance, and sexual function. Studies confirm that maca increases sperm quantity and motility and aids with erectile dysfunction. With its sweet butterscotch flavor, it makes a nice addition to smoothies, energy balls, and other herbal formulas.
Kava Kava has the unique ability to relax the body while energizing the mind and heightening awareness and sensation. It helps you feel more relaxed, happy, and loving. It is the herb of choice for men who experience anxiety and stress around lovemaking and/or who have “performance anxiety.”
Muira puama Muira puama increases blood flow to the penis while relaxing the body, making it exceptionally helpful for achieving and maintaining erections. In fact it’s sometimes called “potency wood.” It also boosts stamina and fertility.
Rhodiola Rhodiola is a renowned adaptogenic herb. While not specifically a sexual tonic, it can increase sexual prowess by boosting energy and endurance. Rhodiola also helps relieve anxiety and depression, which often result from feelings of sexual inadequacy and can contribute to problems with erections. Because rhodiola enhances normal body functions, it is often combined with other sexual tonics to increase their effect.
Tribulus Tribulus fruit contains a steroidal saponin shown to increase libido and improve and prolong erections. Tribulus has also been shown to increase sperm production and motility and is used to treat low testosterone levels, decreased sexual drive, impotency, and erectile dysfunction.
Ashwagandha Ashwagandha is a renowned tonic in Ayurvedic medicine and has long been used for increasing sexual energy and stamina in men. In fact, historically it’s been said that drinking ashwagandha gives men the “stamina of a stallion.” It is sometimes referred to as “Indian ginseng” (though the two herbs are not related) because of its tonic effect on the sexual organs. It seems especially helpful for men who are tense, anxious, and nervous or depressed. Ashwagandha seems to boost and restore sexual energy while relaxing the body. Use it alone or combine it with other hormone-supportive herbs such as ginseng, nettle root, and tribulus.
Milky oats Perhaps counterintuitively, virility and erections depend greatly on the body’s ability to relax — a healthy sexual response is challenging when you’re stressed out or depleted. As a nutritive tonic, milky oats build overall health, vitality, energy, and stamina, while at the same time soothing the nervous system, and they have long had a reputation for helping men “sow their wild oats.” They are especially helpful in restoring sexual vigor and vitality when stress and anxiety lead to loss of libido. Every man who finds himself overworked, stressed, and anxious should consider including milky oats in his daily health program.
Sometimes the reason for potency problems is underlying health issues. Heart, prostate, and emotional issues are all common reasons why men have trouble achieving or maintaining erections. Don’t overlook these factors if you find that your favorite tool is no longer responding as it once did. Your doctor or health care professional can advise you in these matters, but you do have to be willing to talk — and talk honestly — about your concerns, which is a huge step for many men. It is especially important to consult with a health care professional if you suspect heart issues are involved. Sometimes rambunctious and prolonged sex can stress the heart, and there’s been more than one elderly gentleman who has landed himself in the hospital with a severely pounding heart following a sexual romp.
Many pharmaceutical medications also affect a man’s ability to get or maintain an erection, so be sure to look at that long list of side effects printed in tiny type on both prescription and over-the-counter medication if you’re finding it’s harder to perform as you want. A slight adjustment in your medication — whether the type you’re taking or the dosage — may be all that it takes to remedy the problem (and, of course, don’t make any self-adjustments to prescription drugs; always talk to your doctor or health care professional first).
See Impotence and Erectile Dysfunction for a more in-depth discussion of the causes and solutions for impotence.
Damiana Damiana has long been renowned as a sexual tonic for both men and women, especially in terms of virility and sexual vigor. It is especially helpful for those who feel “sexually inadequate,” as it helps the body relax, releases tension, and allows the body to feel more comfortable.
Yohimbe (for the brave) When used judiciously, yohimbe can stimulate or prolong erection, boost desire, and improve and enhance sexual performance. It is one of the most powerful herbal aphrodisiacs, but it’s important to respect this herb. Everyone responds differently to it. Please here for a more detailed discussion of its possible side effects and contraindications.
When I owned my herb shop back in the 1970s and ’80s, I sold yohimbe, but I would keep the jar behind the counter, so anyone who wanted it had to talk to me first. I always explained in detail how to use it and appropriate dosages. But, of course, not everyone listened, and I’d get the occasional phone call from a man complaining of an unpleasantly prolonged and painful erection. Don’t be that guy; it won’t be a fun experience.
Taking a dose of yohimbe tincture before lovemaking will give you the quickest and most effective results. Start with a low dosage of just 1⁄2 teaspoon of the tincture and work up slowly as needed, to as much as 1 teaspoon. Follow with 500 mg of vitamin C to aid in assimilation and help prevent nausea.
Though the tincture offers the quickest results, traditionally yohimbe was prepared as a tea. To make a tea, combine 1 ounce of yohimbe with 2 cups of water in a saucepan. Bring just to a boil, then reduce the heat and let simmer, covered, for 10 minutes. Strain. Add 500 to 1,000 mg of vitamin C per cup of tea to aid in assimilation and reduce nausea.
Yohimbe isn’t the most pleasant-tasting tea. To make a more palatable blend, mix it with sarsaparilla and sassafras, or add a little maple syrup to the tea.
Several years ago in an herb class comprised mostly of young women who were particularly “earth loving and goddess worshipping,” the few men who were in the class got together and, in the spirit of playful rebellion, painted a statue of Pan, a rather unruly half man/half goat nature god, and planted him firmly at the edge of the garden. Next to him they set a bottle of Boner Toner, an herbal tonic they had newly formulated. Pan’s sat there ever since, with his red-painted hooves, his mischievous smile, and little horns curving out of his yellow plastered curls, a reminder of the wild and unruly man among us. The bottle of Boner Toner? It disappeared long ago . . . but the formula remains, as popular today as it ever was.
Tincture the herbs in the alcohol, following the instructions.
To use: To use as a sexual tonic, take 1⁄2 teaspoon twice daily. To enhance sexual play, take 1 to 2 teaspoons an hour or two before sex.
Take these herbal energy balls a couple of hours before “date night” and see if they don’t increase your energy levels for longer, more pleasurable sex. These balls are similar to Maximum Maca Balls (page 31) but contain other herbs that work powerfully to support energy and potency.
Mix the nut butter and honey together until smooth and creamy. Stir in the herbal powders. Add enough cocoa or carob powder to thicken the mixture to a doughlike consistency.
Using a teaspoon as a scoop, roll the dough into walnut-size balls. Pour some cocoa or carob powder into a baggie, drop in the balls, and shake to coat. Store the balls in airtight containers lined with wax paper in a cool spot, where they will keep for several weeks.
To use: Take two to four balls an hour or two before lovemaking.
Wine tends to both relax and intensify lovemaking, and you can add many combinations of herbs to enhance your sexual experience. The key is to drink not so much that you become inebriated, but just enough to become stimulated. The following is a favorite combination that is both relaxing and energizing.
Note: As a reminder, c/s means “cut and sifted”; most herb shops will have these herbs available in c/s form.
Combine the herbs in a widemouthed quart-size jar. Pour the wine over the herbs, cover with a tight-fitting lid, and shake. Let sit at room temperature for 7 to 14 days (the longer, the stronger!). Strain well, pressing out all the liquid, and rebottle the wine.
To use: Drink one to two glasses before lovemaking. Please note: The flavor of this wine will be rather earthy and robust.
This is a rich, dark, chocolaty syrup that can be drizzled over ice cream or fresh strawberries, added to blender shakes or smoothies, or licked by the spoonful. It’s decadently delicious — and effective.
Combine all the ingredients and mix well. Store in a glass container in the refrigerator. Bring to room temperature to soften and serve.
Energy Elixir: For extra energy, add 1 to 2 tablespoons of guarana powder to the syrup. But note that guarana contains caffeine and will make it super stimulating. You might not want to take it in the evening — unless, of course, you’re planning on staying up all night having fun.
While the generally wise warning is never to put anything with cayenne on those “down under” parts, this stimulating balm is an exception. A small amount of cayenne powder (we’re talking very small) mixed in with coconut oil and cocoa butter stimulates blood flow to the penis and offers the perfect warming lubricant for those sensitive and responsive tissues. You might try adding a bit of cacao powder and, perhaps, organic sugar (or maple syrup or honey) to make a warming, edible body butter that can be licked from the most delicate of places.
Combine the cocoa butter and coconut oil in a small saucepan or double boiler and warm over low heat until they are just melted. Add the cayenne, stir well to mix, and let infuse slowly over very low heat for 10 to 15 minutes. Remove from the heat and let sit at room temperature until the cayenne powder settles to the bottom, then decant (pour off) the oil while it is still warm, leaving the cayenne at the bottom of the pan. Stir in the essential oil. Pour the mixture into a small container and let cool, then cover and store in a cool place.
To use: The balm will harden as it cools, but it will soften easily in warm hands and when massaged on the body. Apply at will. It should feel warm and tingly, but not hot, on your most sensitive body parts.
Alternatives: If cayenne proves too hot for your liking, you can leave it out entirely, but add 5 more drops of cinnamon or peppermint essential oil. Or you can try replacing the cayenne with 2 teaspoons or so of freshly grated ginger, letting it infuse in the warm oil in the same way. Like cayenne, cinnamon and ginger are warming, but they are more “user friendly,” without the intense heat. Cayenne, though, can be really exciting when you use just the right amount — hot, but not too hot.
Please note: Coconut oil and cocoa butter are not latex friendly.
I borrowed this recipe from my friend Stephanie Tourles, who featured it in her book Making Love Potions. As she describes it, “A formulation that stirs the cauldron of passion within and ignites love’s flame, it’s a definite herbal aphrodisiac if there ever was one!”
Combine the cocoa and powdered herbs in a medium bowl and whisk together. Add the vanilla, followed by the honey, and stir thoroughly to blend. It should look like thick, shiny chocolate syrup. Let sit at room temperature overnight to allow the medicinal properties to synergize and the flavors to develop, then store in the refrigerator. It will keep for at least 3 months.
To use: Take 1 to 2 teaspoons before lovemaking. Try serving it with fresh strawberries or with crackers and cheese, or stir it into a latte or warmed milk. Use your imagination!
One reason so many of us love chocolate is that the cacao bean from which it is made contains various compounds, including phenylethylamines and anandamide, that are responsible in the body for that “falling in love, feel-good feeling.” But these constituents are heat sensitive; they are destroyed when cooked. So to get the true benefits of cacao, or cocoa, you have to use it raw. While processed chocolate may taste good to your taste buds, it’s not nearly as good for you as the raw, unprocessed variety.
Described as the “food of love” for good reason, cacao contains an abundance of phenylethylamines (PEAs), a class of compounds that we produce in our body when we fall in love. . . . Additionally, anandamide, a cannabinoid endorphin that the body naturally produces in the brain after exercise, is also found in cacao. It’s known as the “bliss chemical” because it is released while we’re feeling wonderful. This natural neurotransmitter is said to stimulate the energy of the heart chakra.
— Stephanie Tourles, Making Love Potions
There are many other recipes shared throughout this book that can be used to support virility and enhance your sex life. You might consider:
And, of course, you can try any of the other formulations, or make up your own, adding or substituting those herbs that are most renowned for increasing sexual vitality and/or those herbs that work best for you. Remember, however, that often problems with virility and sexuality are caused by deeper issues of health and/or emotional problems, which usually need to be addressed first.
There are many books available on the art of sexuality, and you can turn to them for more information and different perspectives on sexual vitality. A few of my favorites are The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, by Margot Anand; Botanica Erotica, by Diana De Luca; and Sex, Love & Health, by Brigitte Mars.