The Famous
“Venus Butterfly”
Technique
Would you really like to know how to be satisfied or to satisfy your partner every time? Does the idea of increasing the intensity and duration of your sexual encounters motivate you?
Are you ready to begin to feel the limitless pleasure that you suspect will be there for you and your mate?
A common answer is: “Not necessarily.”
There are a lot of reasons to procrastinate, to find other things to do, and reasons not to follow the instructions we are about to give you.
The desire not to be vulnerable, the possibility of failure, and other fears may come up for you. It is natural that you may want to delay because of a sudden desire for food or a nap. Even thoughts such as “I don’t want to,” “I’m too tired,” “I haven’t got the time,” and small emergencies, etc.
It is perfectly normal for you to have those feelings and think those thoughts. Don’t worry. Just know that what you are feeling is normal resistance and go ahead and follow the instructions. This moment is an excellent opportunity to have a breakthrough and to notice how you may tend to both consciously and unconsciously resist pleasure in your life.
If you still feel like you are in the molasses of procrastination, don’t fight it. Just go into slow motion. Slow down and do only one…sentence…at…a…time.
Get a sense that you are winning by moving forward, but don’t stop. Slow down until the feeling of resistance passes.
Lighten up! Stop taking your “thoughts” so seriously and have some fun with your resistance. Defy your mind’s delaying tactics, and do the next sexercise anyway.
To begin learning how to master the “Venus Butterfly” technique and produce longer and more intense orgasms, the first things you need are the following supplies and equipment. Round them up from around the house or make a list right away so that you can borrow or go shopping for the missing items as soon as possible.
1. A large hand mirror. Not a compact mirror. It must be at least as large as your outstretched hand.
2. A full-length mirror. Buy a five-foot mirror if you do not already have one. Mount it on the door or on a sturdy stand.
3. A jar or tube of lubricant. Get the brand Vaseline™ for this experience. You may eventually switch to another brand or use a water-based lubricant, but More University feels that it is impor tant that you start with Vaseline for the following “sexercise.”*
4. Body lotion or massage oil.
5. As many items as possible to please your eyes such as candles or flowers.
6. Something to please your nose: scented bath oil, your favorite perfume or cologne, flowers, incense, or scented candles.
7. Something to please your ears: romantic music…a tape player with or without earphones, a blank cassette tape to record the instruction on (optional), and a CD or cassette tape of your favorite romantic music or at least a radio tuned to a romantic music station.
8. Something to give pleasure to your taste buds… some thing wonderful to eat or drink. At least one of your simple most favorite foods or drinks, such as your favorite kind of chocolate or a glass of champagne or freshly squeezed orange juice.
9. A private space where you can have all of the above assembled for at least one and one-half hours without interruption. You may wish to borrow a friend’s place or even consider renting a hotel room. Make sure you have access to a bathtub or shower.
10. A flashlight.
11. This book and a pen.
There are five parts to this “sexercise.”
Complete one before you go on to the other. You will only know how important it is to do all parts of this sexercise after you have completed all the steps.
Until you are finished, just take our word that doing this sexercise will make all the difference in the world to your future sex life.
The two most important ingredients are: your willingness to do the exercise to the best of your ability, and…. doing it.
You are about to take the single biggest step you have probably ever taken in order to learn how to satisfy your partner, be satisfied by your partner, and to train your nervous system to have orgasms which can be more intense and last up to one hour.
You may exercise regularly to stay in shape and to keep yourself healthy. You may even work out with weights to keep your body hard and fit. We are recommending that you work out your sexual nervous system so that it can work better for you.
Warning: Merely reading about the sexercises in this book will do you about as much good as reading about someone going to a gym and working out.
If you do the following sexercise from the More University Basic Sensuality Course even just once a week, you will be able to have more fun and pleasure than you could otherwise imagine.
If you don’t do the sexercises, you won’t get the results which thousands of people have achieved before you. And, please…do the following basic “Venus Butterfly” sexercises at least one time before you do the “Venus Butterfly” technique with your partner.
Congratulations. You are on your way to having the best sex life you can imagine.
This first step takes only thirty minutes after you read through all of the instructions. You could spends hours just to complete the next step, but do not spend more than thirty minutes. Taking too much time during this step will diminish your success. It may even be an unconscious attempt to resist creating more pleasure.
Dr. Victor Baranco called this the “Visiting Dignitary” part of the Basic Sensuality course taught at More University and The Institute Of Human Abilities for over the last 30 years.
Pretend that a very important person has requested to use a room in your home. Imagine that it is someone very special. Maybe your favorite movie star, world leader, or visiting royalty.
What do you do?
Begin now to make the room as nice as you can. Throw any clutter in a closet or out of sight, and make sure there are as many visually attractive items to look at as you can arrange.
• Set out some scented candles (you’ll light them later).
• Set flowers out where they can be visually enjoyed from anywhere in the room.
• Have your favorite romantic music set up and playing softly so that the visitor’s ears will experience pleasure.
• Set out some of your favorite perfume or cologne available so your guest can dash some lightly on his or her body. Also have ready your body lotion or massage oil and Vaseline.
• Prepare some of your favorite foods or drinks, so you can bring it out at the appropriate time.
• Make sure the bathroom is clean, and arrange it so that your guest can take a bubble bath or shower. Set out the best soap and fragrances you have.
Important: Stop getting the room ready as soon as your thirty minutes are up.
After everything has been set up, imagine that the phone rings and your movie star, world leader, or royalty has had to postpone the visit.
Well, no use letting all these preparations go to waste. You will use this wonderful space to do your basic “Venus Butterfly” sensuality sexercises.
Ready?
The purpose of taking this bath, which should take no more than 15 minutes, is to begin to wash away the tensions of the day and open your body up to feelings of pleasure.
• Go to the bathroom and set out your candles and sweet fragrances such as perfume, cologne, bubble bath, and 58 bath oils.
• Draw your bath with just the temperature and fragrance you want.
• Undress, hanging or folding your clothes nicely and neatly as if it were for someone for whom you cared a great deal.
• Once you are undressed, slowly let yourself down into the bath water. Savor how the water feels as it touches each part of your body.
Splash the water on different parts to see how good the water feels to your skin.
What parts of you are enjoying the bath the most? Can you do something to allow the other parts of your body to also enjoy the feel of the water?
How much can you let yourself experience the light from the candles and the sweet fragrances?
• When your fifteen minutes are up, get out of the bath, slowly and gently dry yourself off.
Jot down anything that you found pleasurable about the experience you just had:
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
If you surprised your mate with the sensual bath you just experienced, what do you imagine their reaction would be?
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
This next part of the sexercise is very important. It may help you to use a tape recorder. If you do, first record all of the following instructions, step by step. Then play them back to yourself as you are going through the sexercises. You may find it easier to turn the tape recorder on and off, instead of going back and forth to the book.
Ready?
Make sure the place you are using is warm enough for you to be nude for about one hour.
Avoid the tendency to skip over or rush through any of the following steps.
1. With all your clothes off, get your hand mirror and go over to your full length mirror. Go over every inch of your body and find every area about which you can find something to like.
Normally, your attention tends only to be on the bad parts. You may keep saying and demonstrating that you are disappointed in your body. Remember, every time you do this, you are “watering the weeds.”
Have a breakthrough. Cross the line over to being a person committed to more fun and pleasure; look only and specifically for things you like about your body.
If you come across an area you can find absolutely nothing good about, despite your best efforts, pass by it quickly and let go of that judgment. Just go on to the next area.
2. Start with the top of your head.
• Look at the top of your head. You will need both mirrors to do this properly. Hold the smaller mirror over your head and tilt it so that you can see the top of your head in the full-length mirror.
Talk to yourself as if you were talking to another person, describing the good and interesting things that you see during the following exploration of your body. When you come to any part of your body that is a working or movable part, see how it looks and feels to squeeze it and wiggle and move it around.
• What different shades of colors do you notice about each area on your body? What different shapes can you make out?
• Closely examine your ears, wiggle them around with your fingers. What do you notice?
• Which direction does your hair grow on different parts of your body.
As you lightly touch your body hair and notice that, like a cat’s whiskers, you can pick up sensory input with it. This information will come in handy the next time you are making love to your partner.
• Lightly and lovingly touch the hair on your eyebrows and eyelids. How does that feel?
• Look closely at the skin on your face and neck. Can you see the different colors and types of skin in each area?
• Check both eyes. Are they exactly the same? If not, describe the differences.
• Look at your lips. Is the skin inside your mouth like the skin on your lips? Describe the differences you see.
3. Here’s something you have never done before. Have you ever looked at your rectum in your whole life? If you’re like most people, you don’t even want to know what it looks like. Almost everybody imagines that it’s horrible and disgusting. Look at it anyway.
• Place your hand-held mirror on the floor. Get your flashlight. Squat down over the mirror. Shine the light into the mirror to illuminate your rectum, and see what it looks like. Describe anything attractive you can find about it.
Thoroughly examine your sexual organs.
• If you are a woman, look at the outer lips of your vagina. Can you see that it looks somewhat like a flower? Do you see the petals?
• If you are a man, closely examine your scrotum and penis from below. Can you see the variations of color, the different types of skin tissue, and the different kinds of hair growth?
4. Now, starting with the bottom of your feet, look at every part of your body that you have not examined yet. Remember, you are looking for things to like. Be aware and interested in the variations of color and the different types of skin tissue on every part of your body. Use both mirrors when necessary to see yourself from every angle. Don’t forget your back.
• Describe the variations of color and the different types of skin tissue that you see.
After doing all of the above, do you still believe you really need to be as embarrassed or ashamed as you were about many of your body parts?
___No
___Much less
___Yes
___Much more
What, if anything, about your former beliefs, has changed?
___Nothing
___A little
___A lot
Comments ___________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
5. Using the full-length mirror, try a few different poses and positions that make you look the most attractive.
Like most humans, you probably were not very proud of certain parts of your body. Many people cannot quickly think of even one thing they like about their bodies.
Have you ever stood in front of a mirror saying derogatory things about yourself? “Look at those fat thighs! What an ugly body! Look at that flabby skin. How could anyone who looks like this ever show themselves in public?”
If you don’t think that saying things like that to yourself is cruel and abusive, try this: Go to one of your favorite restaurants and stand outside. As people come out, point at them and say the same things to them as you do to yourself. “Look at those fat thighs!” and so on.
If you followed these instructions, it wouldn’t take you long to recognize how abusive this sort of behavior is and how bad you have been to yourself, would it?
This behavior is called “beating yourself up.” The point is that beating yourself up isn’t constructive behavior. It doesn’t work. You don’t get better. It is that same kind of behavior as going out to your garden every day and only watering the weeds.
Anything, positive or negative, that you give your attention to expands. Why give attention any longer to the negative things? You have two choices. Get into immediate action and do something to fix them or learn to love them.
You may have already made one important observation. If you did this part of your sexercise properly, you looked for what you liked about your body.
How is looking for what is good about your body different than what you usually do?
___It’s totally different
___It’s a little different
___There’s no difference
Comments ___________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Up until now, have you usually looked for what was wrong, beat yourself up, or blanked out parts of your body?
___Yes
___Somewhat
___No
Comments ___________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
What is the result, in the past, when you have only looked for” what is wrong with your body?
___I feel worse
___I feel better
___There’s no change
Comments ___________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
What do you suppose you get out of looking only for the bad?
___It inspires me to get into action
___It helps me to accept myself
___Other ___________________________
What did you discover by looking just for what is good about your body?
___I was more confident
___I was less confident
___Nothing happened
___Other___________________________
Will you be able to enjoy your own body more after this exercise, rather than automatically checking for what is wrong?
___Yes
___Maybe
___No
If so, what specifically could you do that would be different?
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Will you now be able to enjoy in your partner’s body more after this exercise?
___Yes
___A little more
___No
If so, what specifically might you do that is different?
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Which of the following do you do most often:
___Looking only for the bad when you look at your body?
___Looking only for the bad when you look at your partner’s body?
___Looking only for the good when you look at your body?
___Looking only for the good when you look at your partner’s body?
Which of the following would you actually find more pleasurable:
___Looking only for the bad when you look at your body?
___Looking only for the bad when you look at your partner’s body?
___Looking only for the good when you look at your body?
___Looking only for the good when you look at your partner’s body?
According to a recent study, only one out of every ten people will admit to being at their ideal weight. They don’t like at least some part of their body.
It is a miracle, isn’t it, that very many of us have the nerve to take our clothes off and let another person see us? The amount of negative perceptions most of us have about our bodies, as Mr. Spock would say, “seems illogical.”
On this next 15-minute part of your sexercise you may also want to start out by recording the following instructions so that you can play them back to yourself.
• Get out ajar of Vaseline and a large towel or sheet.
• Put the towel or sheet over the bed or place where you are going to sit or lie down.
• Pinch the skin over your elbow as hard as you can.
Do you notice how insensitive the elbow area is? Not much feeling, is there?
• Now pinch with equal pressure the skin on the inside of your elbow.
Notice how your sensing ability varies from one area to the other.
When you touch velvet, does the velvet feel good or does your hand? Your hand does, of course. Touching velvet is an example of what we call a “Taking Touch.” Intend to “take” pleasure when you are touching yourself or later when you are touching your partner.
You need not be concerned about “giving” pleasure to your “ partner. When you are aware of “taking” pleasure with your touches, you feel pleasure which is almost as good as being touched. You will begin to discover that what feels best to you will probably feel good to your partner.
• Next, with your fingers, start making large circles on the inside of your forearm.
What is the speed and pressure that feels the best, both to your fingers and also to your skin?
___I like it slow
___I like it fast
___I like light pressure
___I like heavy pressure
If you wish, describe your findings below.
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
• Now, touch your skin with the edge and even the backs of your fingernails.
• Also, try touching yourself lovingly with just the hairs on your hand.
Can you “take” pleasuring sensations with just your nails?
Does your skin like receiving touch this way?
___Yes
___A little
___No
Now, see what it feels like to use a little lubricant.
• Get a very small amount of Vaseline and warm it up by rubbing a small amount in your hands.
• Apply it to the inside of your forearm, using small circular movements.
Compare how different this feels than it did when you were rubbing “dry,” without lubricant. Do you notice that using the lubricant causes the sensations to spread like the ripples in a pond when a pebble hits the water?
• Next, begin to explore both sides of your upper and lower arm using the same small circular movements.
• Lightly touch the hair to see how that feels.
• Do the same to your hands and fingers,
• Your shoulders,
• Both sides of your neck,
• All parts of your face,
• Around your eyes,
• Each part of your ears,
• And, especially your upper lip.
Notice if there is a difference between rubbing your lower lip and upper lip.
Which lip is most sensitive?
___Upper
___Lower
Does the inside or the outside of your lip, have more feeling?
___Inside
___Outside
When you touch your lips, if you try, can you feel pleasant sensations in your genital area? ____Yes ____No
• Move on to your chest, using small circular movements.
• Gently explore your nipples, The One Hour Orgasm
• The trunk of your body,
• The sides of your legs,
• The tops and bottoms of your feet,
• Your toes.
Pay special attention to your middle toe. Many people report that they have been able to develop pleasant sexual feelings, even orgasmic genital contractions, from rubbing with the “taking” touch.
Men: At this point, skip past the Sexercises For Women Only section to the section marked Sexercises For Men Only. (Don’t worry. You won’t miss anything. Later, you will be instructed to come back and read this section.)
The genital area will be the most sensitive of your body because of the high number of nerve endings located there.
• Start exploring by slowly stroking the lower part of your stomach and then, as if you were slowly drawing a big circle, let your hand slowly glide down the top part of your thigh, crossing over just underneath the genital area without touching your pubic hair, slowly up your other thigh, and then back up to your stomach.
• Very slowly make the circle smaller and smaller until you begin to barely feel your pubic hairs.
• Gently begin to lightly stroke the hairs with your fingers and both sides of your hand.
Remember to continue to use “taking” touches.
• Next, using your mirror to see the area you are touching, gently apply Vaseline to the outer lips of your vagina.
• Slowly work in toward the inner lips. Notice which particular places are the most sensitive.
• Rub the opening area of your vagina (the entrance).
• Also gently rub on the outside of the hole to the urethra, which is your urinary opening.
• Feel inside the opening of your vagina.
• Make sure you have plenty of Vaseline on your fingers and with one or two fingers, reach as far inside the vaginal canal as you can.
• Press against the vaginal wall with increasing pressure.
Start with very light pressure at first and then find out how much pressure you can apply without feeling any pain.
• Try pushing at 6 o’clock, that is toward the floor.
• Then at the 3 o’clock area.
• And 9 o’clock.
• Last, push and rub against the upper part or 12 o’clock and feel for a rough round spot about the size of a nickel.
When you press against this last position, you may be able to feel stimulation as if you were pushing against the back of your clitoris.
This is the famous “G-Spot” area and it may feel uncomfortable to your touch except when you are very excited and turned on such as just prior to and during an orgasm.
• Now, begin to explore your clitoris. Make sure you have plenty of warm lubricant on your fingers.
• Feel the hood that covers the clitoris. This piece of skin is like the foreskin on a man before he is circumcised.
Do not try to cause an orgasm while you are doing this sexercise. If you become too excited, stop or slow down until you regain control.
• Pull the hood back and rub on the clitoris.
• Explore all sides of your clitoris, especially just underneath the hood.
For most women your upper left side (at 1 o’clock from the man’s point of view… 11 o’clock from your point of view when looking into your mirror) will be the most sensitive.
Which is the most sensitive part of your clitoris at this time?
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Which part do you favor when you are masturbating?
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
You might have developed the sensitivity of another part of your clitoris by favoring it during masturbation; however, if you will include and stimulate the 1 o’clock part, it will soon become your favorite and most sensitive spot.
When you are feeling for this 1 o’clock area, try rubbing slowly with a lot of lubricant on your finger right under the hood at 1 o’clock. You should be able to feel a little groove or ridge there under the hood. That’s the spot.
• Last, begin to explore the area around your second most sensitive area, your anus. There are many nerve endings close to this area. Again, make sure you are using a lubricant while you are exploring this area.
If you are a little timid about exploring your anus, you may be more comfortable using a latex examination glove to cover your whole hand or a latex finger cover or condom to cover your exploring finger. If you use latex, coat the outside of the latex with a water based lubricant before you begin to explore. It usually is not a good idea to use Vaseline. Vaseline will melt latex in a very short period of time; however, for the brief time you will be exploring, the latex should hold up.
After you have completed this part of the sexercise, throw away the latex protection, if any was used, and go wash the remaining lubricant off your hands and get ready for the next part.
For now, skip past the Sexercises For Men Only section to the Stimulation For Pleasurable Effect section.
The genital area will be the most sensitive part of your body because of the high number of nerve endings located there.
• Start by touching the lower part of your stomach and then, as if you were slowly drawing a big circle, let your hand slowly glide down the top part of your thigh, crossing over just underneath the genital area without touching your genitals, slowly up your other thigh, and then back up to your stomach.
• Very slowly make the circle smaller and smaller until you begin to barely feel your pubic hairs and genitals.
• Gently begin to lightly stroke the hairs with your fingers and both sides of your hand. Remember to continue to use “taking” touches.
• Next, take a liberal amount of Vaseline and rub it between your hands to warm it.
• Gently and slowly begin to apply the Vaseline to your penis and scrotum, the sack that surrounds your testicles.
• Begin to feel the different parts of your penis. Start with the urethra opening, the hole at the end of your penis.
• Next, gently and slowly, with “taking” touches, explore the crown, which is the area around the hole, and work down to the ridge of the crown. This is called the coronal ridge.
Notice where you have the most pleasurable sensations.
See if there is more feeling on one side of your penis than the other, or in one spot versus another.
Do not try to cause an orgasm while you are doing this sexercise. If you become too excited, stop or slow down until you regain control.
• Next, move slowly down to the shaft of the penis.
See if you can tell that the sides and top of the shaft have less feeling than the underside part of the shaft.
Does the upper part of your penis, toward the crown, have more feeling than the lower part? ____Yes ____No
• Grasp the base of the shaft of the penis by wrapping your thumb and forefinger around it and press down.
• Next, wrap the thumb and forefinger of your other hand around the top of the sack of your testicles.
• Now, very slowly pull down with increasing pressure and see how much pressure your testicles can take.
Are you surprised at how much pressure you can take?
• With your lower hand, surround your testicles and slowly begin to squeeze them in a downward motion. Increase the pressure slowly until you feel discomfort or until you can squeeze no harder, whichever comes first.
• Last, put some more Vaseline on your fingers and lubricate the area around your anus.
• Explore this area with your fingers and notice the areas which are the most sensitive.
If you are a little timid about exploring your anus, you may be more comfortable using a latex examination glove to cover your whole hand or a latex finger cover or condom to cover your exploring finger. If you use latex, coat the outside of the latex with a water based lubricant before you begin to explore. It is usually not a good idea to use Vaseline. Vaseline will melt latex in a very short period of time, however, for the brief time you will be exploring, the latex should hold up.
• Before you stop, press in and stoke back and forth, with increasing pressure, on the area between your anus and the sack of your scrotum. This is a man’s “G Spot.” Your prostate lies buried inside this area and it is sensitive to pleasurable sensations when you are aroused.
It may not feel tremendously pleasurable to press and rub on this area except when you are very excited and turned on such as just prior to and during an orgasm.
After you have finished this part of the sexercise, throw away the latex protection, if any was used, wash the remaining lubricant off your hands, and get ready for the remaining sexercises.
It makes sense that if you know the very best way to touch yourself, you will better know how to tell your partner what feels best to you. You will also benefit by getting a better understanding about what will feel best when you touch your partner.
“You have to know what you want, before you can tell anyone else what you want.”
Achieving orgasm is not the purpose of this sexercise. Your goal is to feel as good as possible for as long as possible. Orgasm should be avoided at this particular time to get the most value.
Do this sexercise by yourself.
Read all of the instructions before you begin. Either lay the book out so that you can refer to the instructions as you go along or record them on your tape recorder and play them back to yourself as you are doing the sexercises.
• Set out your Vaseline. You will need it for lubrication from time to time in this process.
• Make sure your towel is handy.
• Light your candles.
• Turn on your favorite romantic music.
• Bring out the special food or drink you prepared earlier.
What you will be doing is a sexercise in tumescence: to begin to play with the sexual energy in your body, to increase and decrease sexual tension at your command.
Relax and enjoy the sexercise. There is no pressure on you to perform sexually or accomplish a result. Pleasure is your only goal.
Warm up some massage oil or body lotion in your hands and begin by slowly and sensually stroking places on your body that may not have received much attention for a long time. Begin at the top of your head and work down to your genitals. Then start at your feet and work up. Don’t include your genitals as yet…. you’ll get to them later.
Go slow and take your time. Get as much pleasurable sensation out of each place as you can before going onto the next part of your body.
Try out different kinds of pressure from very light to heavy on ch area. At the same time, try different to fast to see which feels the best to you.
“Teasing” is causing a feeling of scarcity in one place by creating an abundance of feeling in another.
Start on the outside, the outer perimeter, of your nipples. With your fingers, slowly make large circles around this area, and gradually move in toward the center using smaller and smaller circles.
Imagine that you are creating an “itch” that wants to be scratched. When the place you are teasing begins to anticipate that you are about to touch it, tease it some more by waiting a little longer.
Now—when you are good and ready—sensually touch the area you have been teasing.
Notice that you have the power to create some interesting effects even when experimenting on your own body. (Later, you will be able to cause the same sensations when you are pleasuring your partner’s body.)
Men: For now, skip past the More Sexercises For Women Only section and proceed to the More Sexercises For Men Only section.
Wipe the massage oil off your hands with your towel. Scoop out a liberal amount of Vaseline and warm it by rubbing it between your fingers.
Begin to slowly and gently spread it on:
1. the outer lips of her vagina (labia majora),
2. then her inner lips (labia minora),
3. then the opening to her vagina (not up inside, just on the opening).
4. Finally, follow the inner lips up to the point that they begin to form the hood over the clitoris. Carefully and slowly lubricate the hood of the clitoris and very gently include the head of the cli toris (clitoral glans) itself.
As you are applying lubricant, spread your fingers and toes to feel sensations throughout your whole body. Most women report that when they do this, they experience more intense sensations.
Use a lot of Vaseline. Vaseline spreads sensation and prevents skin irritation. It also allows you to easily use both heavy or light pressure.
5. Begin to stroke your clitoris slowly and gently. Which part of your clitoris feels the best when you touch or stroke it?
Experiment with different pressures and speeds to determine which feels best to you. There is no hurry. Take your time. Notice that the more tumesced or excited you become, the more pressure you can enjoy.
Which pressure feels best to you? Light? Heavy? In between? Which speed feels best to you? Very slow? Fast? In between?
“Peaking” is a technique that is designed to increase your ability to feel more than you presently do.
As you continue the sexercise and your tumescence builds, bring yourself as close to the upper side of that feeling as is possible without going over the top…. then let yourself down and regain control by trying one of the following methods: Stopping… Slowing down…. Changing to a lighter pressure, or…Changing the direction you are rubbing.
Notice that each time you build up to the edge, the intensity of the feeling increases. If you continue to do this, you will be able to build the intensity to the highest point possible.
On a graph, peaking would look like this:
Notice that on the graph, the peaks keep going up to higher levels. Without “Peaking” you could not get to those levels.
Keep “Peaking” yourself as long as it is pleasurable to you. Remember, your goal right now is to feel as good as possible for as long as possible.
Important: Do not go over the top while doing this sexercise. If you become too excited… stop until you regain control.
Right now, you are going for the longest and most pleasurable effect, not an orgasm.
An orgasm causes the release of built-up sexual energy or tumescence. The more you put into the “peaking” of your orgasm, the more sexual energy or tumescence you will release. Your orgasmic contractions will last longer and be stronger than they have ever been before.
“Connecting” is sexual stimulation without direct genital contact. It’s learning to feel pleasure in the genital area when being kissed or touched in other (secondary) places of your body such as your lips, neck, or ears.
Once you get an area turned on and connected, you can bring yourself or your partner to at least the edge of an orgasm using only the secondary area.
You can “connect” any two areas of your body or your partner’s body using the following technique.
• Lightly apply warmed Vaseline to another place on your body. Start with your facial lips.
• Continue to rub on your clitoris and at the same time begin to “tease” your facial lips by slowly stroking the outside edges using wide circles.
• Let your fingers move gradually toward your facial lips. Once you begin touching them, they should be very excited and turned on.
• At the same time, rub your clitoris with the same pressure and movement you are using on your lips. See if you can duplicate the feelings you are having in one area in the other.
• Take your hand off your clitoris and see if it can feel any of the sensations you are creating in your lips.
• After a while, begin to rub on your clitoris again using the same pressure and movement as you are using on your lips.
• Now, take your hand off your lips and see if they can feel any of the sensations you are creating in your clitoris.
Keep switching back and forth until you feel you have gone as far as you can for now.
Do this “connecting” exercise using as many parts of your body as is pleasurable for you.
Try the following areas and write down between 1 (low sensations) to 10 (extremely high sensations) the response you are able to create between the parts you are using. Once you get an area turned on and connected, see if you can bring yourself to the edge of an orgasm using only the secondary area.
• The middle toe of your left or right foot ____
• Just your upper lip ____
• Your ear lobe ____
• The inside of your elbow ____
• The inside of your thigh ____
• The outer part of your vaginal opening ____
• The inside of your vaginal canal ____
• Your “G” spot ____
• and also the arch of your foot ____
Do this sexercise as long as it feels good, continuing to “peak” yourself until the pleasurable feelings you were having are starting to go down or even bottom out.
At any time that you stop having good feelings from rubbing yourself… stop! Just say out loud to yourself, “This concludes the sexercise.”
If you go too far and cannot stop yourself from having an orgasm during the exercise, before you orgasm say out loud, “This concludes the sexercise.”
What is the level of your sexual tension or tumescence? High? Low? Totally flat?
When you are ready, wash the lubricant off your hands, take a few moments to lie still and be aware of how each part of your body is feeling.
Women: For now, skip past the More Sexercises For Men Only section and proceed to Chapter 8.
Wipe the massage oil off your hands with your towel. Next, take a liberal amount of Vaseline and rub it between your hands to warm it up.
Apply the Vaseline to your penis and scrotum.
It’s unlikely that you will have an erection at this point, but it doesn’t matter. Regardless, start with the following approach.
• Make a circle with the thumb and index finger of each of your hands.
• Encircle the shaft of your penis at its base with your left hand.
• Holding your left hand firmly at the base of your penis, gently and slowly slide your right hand, using only your thumb and index finger, up the shaft, stretching the penis gently until you reach the top. Apply more pressure at the bottom and lighten up as you near the top. This gentle motion will not only feel good to you, it also draws blood into the penis, making it harder and more erect.
You will find the above method valuable in persuading your penis to respond any time you want it to, or if you want to harden an already full erection.
• As your penis enlarges, you can use more than two fingers to form your “rings.” Continue to do this until your penis becomes erect.
If your penis is not responding as quickly as you would like, here is a sure fire, and seldom used, method to overcome the resistance you are encountering. We could more accurately call this “the pause that tumesces.”
• Stop for a moment, but don’t just drop your penis carelessly. Very lovingly and gently release it.
• Next, do something, such as putting a little more lubricant on your hands and sensuously warm it up.
• When you are ready, resume by gently picking up your penis and begin again to slowly stroke upward, applying more pressure at the bottom and lightening up as you near the top. Each time you “pause,” you will be able to achieve a new level when you resume.
• When your penis becomes fully erect, continue to use an up and down rhythmic milking motion, going from the base up to the ridge of the head of your penis, or even slightly over the head. Remember to continue to use slightly heavier pressure at the bottom, and lighten your pressure as you get to the top. 84
Some men only pay attention to the “up” stroke. However, there is as much sensation available on the “down” stroke as the up. Make sure you are feeling both the up and the down.
• Experiment by using both hands. Stroke up and down on your penis, one hand above the other, as if you were holding a baseball bat. Allow your top hand to slip off the top of the penis without losing contact with your bottom hand. Then slide both hands downward to the base of your penis and begin to come back up again.
• As you feel your excitement begin to build up, either change the stroke, lighten the pressure you are using, or stop altogether.
• Stroke different parts of your penis, including the sides, to discover what feels best to you. Which part of your penis feels the best when you touch or stroke it?
• Experiment by altering the kind of strokes you use…faster, slower, firmer, lighter, shorter, longer, etc. When you are stroking your penis, which pressure feels best to you? Light? Heavy? When you are stroking your penis, which speed feels best to you? Slow? Fast?
Do you notice that the more tumesced or excited you become, the more pressure you can pleasantly take?
“Peaking” is a technique that is designed to increase your ability to feel more than you presently do.
As you continue the sexercise and your tumescence builds, bring yourself as close to the upper side of that feeling as is possible without going over the top…. then let yourself down and regain control by trying one of the following methods: Stopping…. Slowing 85 down…. Changing to a lighter pressure, or…Changing the direction you are rubbing.
Notice that each time you build up to the edge, the intensity of the feeling increases. If you continue to do this, you will be able to build the intensity to the highest point possible.
On a graph, peaking would look like this:
Notice that on the graph, the peaks keep going up to higher levels. Without “Peaking” you could not get to those levels.
Keep “Peaking” yourself as long as it is pleasurable to you. Remember, your goal right now is to feel as good as possible for as long as possible.
Important: Do not go over the top while doing this sexercise. If you become too excited…stop until you regain control.
Right now, you are going for the longest and most pleasurable effect, not ejaculation.
An orgasm causes the release of built-up sexual energy or tumescence. The more you put into the “peaking” of your orgasm, the more sexual energy or tumescence you will release. Your orgasmic contractions will last longer and be stronger than they have ever been before.
“Connecting” is sexual stimulation without direct genital contact. It’s learning to feel pleasure in the genital area when being kissed or touched in other (secondary) places of your body such as your lips, neck, or ears.
Once you get an area turned on and connected, you can bring yourself or your partner to at least the edge of an orgasm using only the secondary area.
You can “connect” any two areas of your body or your partner’s body using the following technique.
• Lightly apply warmed Vaseline to another place on your body. Start with your lips.
• Continue to rub on your penis and at the same time begin to “tease” your lips by slowly stroking the outside edges using wide circles.
• Let your fingers move gradually toward your lips. Once you begin touching them, they should be very excited and turned on.
• At the same time, rub your penis with the same pressure and movement you are using on your lips. See if you can duplicate the feelings you are having in one area in the other.
• Take your hand off your penis and see if it can feel any of the sensations you are creating in your lips.
• After a while, begin to rub on your penis again using the same pressure and movement as you are using on your lips.
• Now, take your hand off your lips and see if they can feel any of the sensations you are creating in your penis.
Keep switching back and forth until you feel you have gone as far as you can for now.
Do this “connecting” exercise using as many parts of your 87 body as is pleasurable for you.
Try the following areas and write down between 1 (low sensations) to 10 (extremely high sensations) the response you are able to create between the parts you are using: Once you get an area turned on and connected, see if you can bring yourself to the edge of an orgasm using only the secondary area.
• The middle toe of your left or right foot ___
• Just your upper lip ___
• Your ear lobe ___
• The inside of your elbow ___
• The inside of your thigh ___
• The outer part of your penis opening ___
• The arch of your foot ___
• Your nipples* ___
Do this sexercise as long as it feels good, continuing to “peak” yourself until the pleasurable feelings you were having are starting to go down or even bottom out.
At any time that you stop having good feelings from stroking yourself…stop! Just say out loud to yourself, “This concludes the sexercise.”
If you go too far and cannot stop yourself from having an orgasm during the exercise, before you orgasm say out loud, “This concludes the sexercise.”
What is the level of your sexual tension or tumescence? Low? High? Totally flat?
When you are ready, wash the lubricant off your hands, take a few moments to lie still and be aware of how each part of your body is feeling.
*Vaseline is not water soluble, so not even perspiration will wash it off. It also spreads and radiates pleasurable sensations. Vaseline seems to have a preferable consistency even though it is made of basically the same ingredients as other brands.
*Men have the same amount of nerve endings in their nipples as women do. What feels pleasurable to a woman’s nipples will most likely feel the same to you. Also, if twisting or pinching real hard when you are not highly aroused feels painful to you, it will probably also feel painful to her.