Pros of Taking In a Stray Cat
Grateful for food.
Few stray cats vote UKIP.
Easy to please with birthday presents (e.g., leaf, button).
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Cat names that are now so over
Chairman Meow
Evelyn Paw
Gary
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Cat names trending for the new season
Pussolini
Doris
Uncle Fuckykins
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Ways to Annoy Your Cat On Facebook
Repeatedly invite your cat to play Candy Crush Saga.
Like the comments underneath your cat’s status but never the actual status itself.
Always add a small ‘x’ when tagging mice in your status but not when tagging your cat.
Always eat vegetarian at home but post plenty of photos of large elaborate meat-based meals you’ve had while out.
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Good Reasons to get a Black Cat
Often unfairly overlooked at rescue centres.
Read lots more books than cats of other colours.
Hair doesn’t show up on clothes if you’re a goth.
Very slimming to hug.
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Telltale Signs Your Cat might be Overgrooming
Cat comes in with old spider webs and moss and twigs stuck to its fur, but in a way that seems a bit too studied and deliberate.
Cat cannot go out without being dissed and called a meowtrosexual by rough feral cats.
Bathroom sink often flecked with loose whiskers/tiny pairs of tweezers.
Cat begins to catch fewer mice, due to noticing its reflection in windows on way to catch mice and stopping to check itself out.
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Ideas for Potential Children’s Books Inspired by My Cats
The Cat Who got a bit Mardy then Ate a Hare
Slug Cat Goes on a Big Adventure
The Cat Who Meowed Mournfully at a Bowl of Water for No Apparent Reason
Owl and Cat are Largely Indifferent to One Another
The Cat Who Fucked an Ikea Blanket