Chapter 13
The Eighth Month
Seven- and eight-month-old babies are busy babies, and getting busier by the day. Busy practicing skills they’ve already mastered or are on the brink of mastering (like crawling) and skills they’re eager to master (such as pulling up). Busy playing—which, with greater dexterity in those chubby little fingers and hands, is at least twice as much fun, and, with greater ability to focus, is at least twice as absorbing. Busy exploring, discovering, learning, and, as a budding sense of humor emerges, laughing out loud … a lot. This month, baby continues to experiment with vowels and consonants and may even string together those combos you’ve been waiting for (“ma-ma” or “dada”) by month’s end. Comprehension is still very limited, but baby’s starting to pick up the meaning of a few words—fortunately, “no,” a word that will come in handy in the months to come, will be one of the first understood … if not often complied with.
Feeding Your Baby: Drinking from a Cup
Though at this point your cutie is likely quite content with the breast or bottle (or a combo), now is a great time to get cracking on the cup, too. An early start on sipping means your little one will be a cup pro when weaning rolls around (of course breastfeeding can continue as long as both of you like, but experts recommend you break any bottle habit at 12 months). In the meantime, a cup can be a fun and convenient (if initially messy) source of fluids for your baby.
Here’s how you can make the introduction to the cup successful:
• Let your baby sit pretty. It’s definitely easier to sip if you can sit—and your baby will be less likely to gag on those sips if he or she is able to sit well … all alone or propped up.
• Protect all concerned. Teaching your baby to drink from a cup won’t be neat—you can expect more to drip down the chin than into the mouth. So until your little sipper picks up some skills, keep him or her covered with a large bib during drinking lessons.
• Consider timing. Babies are more open to just about every new experience when they’re in a jolly mood, have had a recent nap, and aren’t cranky from hunger. Try offering sips at a time your little one isn’t used to having a breast or bottle—say, as a side with solids.
• Choose right. Certain features will make those first sipping experiences easier and less messy for everyone. Look for a cup that’s sturdy, spillproof (so you’ll be in the clear when it’s tossed off the high chair—and it will be), weighted on the bottom (so it won’t tip over), and easy to grab (try a small baby-size cup). Most babies like cups with handles, but experiment until you find the right match. If you opt for a plastic cup, choose one that’s BPA-free (current FDA regulations don’t allow children’s drinking cups to contain BPA, but one that’s a hand-me-down might). Of course, if your little one tries to grab your glass of water at dinner, there’s no harm in letting him or her take a supervised swig (you hold it, your little one sips it). Baby will learn to drink from a variety of cups faster if he or she tries several sooner.
A cup with a spouted lid (known in baby and toddler circles as a “sippy cup”) offers a nice transition from sucking to sipping, though babies who’ve taken a bottle may take to a sippy cup more easily than those accustomed to a human nipple. There will be less spillage to worry about with a sippy than with a regular cup, too (and none at all with a spillproof variety, a definite perk). Still, there are benefits to switching off between a sippy cup and a regular cup—and to eventually swapping out the sippy for a straw cup (see box).
• Fill it with the familiar. Your baby might take to the cup more readily if it’s filled with a familiar fluid, like breast milk or formula. Or your little one may balk at an old favorite coming from a strange new source. In that case, move on to water. If water’s not winning, switch to diluted fruit juice (which you can introduce after 6 months).
• Go slow. For someone who’s been suckling from a breast or sucking from a bottle his or her whole life, sipping from a cup is a whole new experience. So let your baby take some time getting acclimated to the cup (touch it, inspect it, even play with it). Then try holding the cup to baby’s mouth, tipping it a little, and letting a few drops trickle in. Remember to pause for a swallow before offering more—otherwise your newbie cup drinker might gag (he or she may also be too surprised at first to swallow—which means that the fluid may trickle right back out of baby’s mouth). Your baby doesn’t seem to get it? Hold the cup near your mouth and pretend to take a drink (“Mmm! That tastes good!”).
• Invite participation. He reaches out for the cup? Let him grab hold while you help him guide it. She wants to hold it herself? Let her—even if she can’t quite figure out what she’s supposed to do with it.
• Take no for an answer. If your little one turns away, that’s the signal that enough is enough (even if it hasn’t been any at all). All systems “no”? Put the cup away until the next meal or, if your baby is really resistant, until another day.
What You May Be Wondering About
Baby’s First Words
“My baby has started saying ‘ma-ma’ a lot. We were all excited until someone told us that she’s probably just making sounds without understanding their meaning. Is that true?”
Remember when that first wave of contentment washed across your little one’s face, and your heart told you it was a smile meant just for you—even as your head told you it was “just gas”? Ultimately, it didn’t matter—your baby was on her way to a lifetime of sweet smiles, by now something she’s likely already made a significant down payment on. Same with her first “ma-ma” or “da-da.” It’s hard to pinpoint just when a baby makes the transition from mimicking sounds without meaning (saying “ma-ma” because she’s practicing her m’s) to speaking meaningfully (saying “da-da” because she’s calling her daddy). And ultimately, that distinction doesn’t matter either at this point. The important thing is that your baby is vocalizing and attempting to imitate sounds she hears, and that means she’s on her way to a lifetime of talking.
When the first real word is spoken varies a great deal in babies, and is, of course, subject to less-than-objective parental interpretation. According to the experts, the average baby can be expected to say what she means and mean what she says for the first time anywhere between 10 and 14 months. But before you let developmental data rain on your parade of parental pride, hear this: A small percentage of babies say their first meaningful word as early as 7 or 8 months. Other perfectly normal tots don’t utter a single recognizable word until midway through their second year, at least as far as their parents can tell. Very active babies may be more focused on conquering motor skills than becoming a motormouth.
Of course, long before a baby speaks her first words, she will learn to understand words (aka receptive language). Your baby’s receptive language development begins the moment you speak your first words to her (actually before, since she began hearing your voice in utero). Over time, she starts to sort out individual words from the jumble of language around her, and then one day, about the middle of the first year, you say her name and she turns around. She’s recognized a word! Pretty soon after she should begin to understand the names of other people and objects she sees daily, such as mommy, daddy, bottle, cup, cracker. In a few months, or even earlier, she may begin to follow simple commands, such as “Give me a bite,” or “Wave bye-bye,” or “Kiss Mommy.” This comprehension moves ahead at a much faster pace than speech itself and is an important forerunner to it. You can nurture both receptive and spoken language development every day in many ways (click here).
Signing with Baby
“Some of my friends are using baby signs to communicate with their babies—and it seems to work. I’d like to try with my baby, but want to be sure it won’t slow down his speech.”
Your baby may be a born communicator, but that doesn’t mean you’ll always understand what he’s trying to say, especially in the first and second year, when communication (and comprehension) gaps between a little one and the parents who struggle to understand him can be pretty gaping. That’s where “baby signs” step in.
Why sign up for baby signs? For one thing, signing lets your baby express his needs without needing words (words that are still beyond his ability to speak). Better communication leads to smoother interactions and fewer frustrations (for both of you)—but it also boosts baby’s confidence as a communicator (“they get me!”), which spurs his motivation to keep communicating, first through signs, then through a mixture of signs and sounds, ultimately through words.
Will signing slow down speech? Research shows it doesn’t—and in fact, for some babies signs can speed spoken language development, since it promotes interaction between parent and baby. Signing with your baby means you’ll be spending more time talking with him, too—and there’s no better way to help him learn to speak than speaking to him.
If you’d like to use baby signs, here’s how:
• Sign on early. Begin using signs as soon as your baby shows an active interest in communicating with you—preferably by 8 or 9 months, though there’s no harm in getting into the signing habit earlier, or even later. Most babies will start signing back somewhere between 10 and 14 months.
• Sign as needed. The most important signs to develop and learn will be the ones your baby needs to express his everyday needs, such as being hungry, thirsty, and sleepy.
• Sign what comes naturally. Develop a natural sign language that works for you and your baby. Any simple gesture that fits a word or phrase well can work: Flapping arms for “bird,” scratching under the arms for “monkey,” hands together and supporting a tilted head for “sleep,” a rubbed belly for “hungry,” a cupped hand placed up to the mouth for “drink,” a finger touched to the nose for “smell,” a palm facing up and then a curling in of the fingers for “more,” arms up for “up,” palm facing down and then lowering hand for “down,” and so on.
• Follow your baby’s signs. Many babies invent their own signs. If yours does, always use the signs of his design, which are more meaningful to him.
• Sign him up. If you want to go more formal, sign you and your baby up for a class that covers it (many hospitals, community centers, and other organizations offer classes), or look for books or online resources that teach baby sign language, many of which use the formal signs from American Sign Language (ASL).
• Sign consistently. By seeing the same signs over and over, your baby will come to understand them and imitate them more quickly.
• Speak and sign at the same time. To make sure your baby learns both the sign and the spoken word, use both together.
• Sign up the whole family. The more people in your baby’s life who can speak his language, the happier he’ll be. Siblings, grandparents, care providers, and anyone else who spends a lot of time with your baby should be familiar with at least the most important signs.
• Know when to sign off. Signing, like all forms of communication, should develop naturally and at a little one’s own pace, without any pressure. If your baby seems frustrated by the signs, resists using them, or shows signs of sign overload, don’t force the agenda. The idea is to reduce frustration for both of you, not add to it.
While signing can make life a little easier during the preverbal stage, it’s definitely not necessary—either for your relationship with your baby or his language development. So sign on to baby signs if you’re feeling it, but if you’re not (or baby’s not), don’t feel compelled to keep it up. Communicate with your little one any way that works and feels comfortable to you both (inevitably, some nonverbal communication will make its way into the mix on baby’s side, whether it’s gestures like pointing or assorted grunts and squeals—all of which can be surprisingly effective). Eventually, the words will flow—and the communication gap will close.
Crawling
“My baby has started to scoot around on her tummy but won’t get on all fours. Is this considered crawling?”
Crawling styles vary—and since there are no “must-dos” when it comes to crawling, it doesn’t really matter how your little rug rat is getting around. In fact, moving around on the belly, or creeping, is usually a precursor to hands and knees mobility (aka crawling)—though some babies stick to creeping and never get up on all fours at all.
Some babies start crawling (or creeping or scooting) as early as 6 or 7 months (especially if they’ve spent plenty of supervised playtime on their bellies), but most don’t get their crawl on until closer to 9 months or later. More babies are crawling later these days (because of less time spent on their tummies). Late crawling (or no crawling at all; see next question) is not cause for concern as long as other important developmental milestones are being reached (such as sitting—a skill babies must master before they can tackle crawling). Many begin crawling backward or sideways, and don’t get the hang of going forward for weeks. Some scoot on one knee or on their bottom, and others travel on hands and feet, a stage that many babies reach just before walking. The method a baby chooses to get from one point to another is much less important than the fact that she’s making an effort to get around on her own. (If, however, she does not seem to be using both sides of her body—arms and legs—equally, check with her doctor.)
Baby’s Not Crawling
“My son hasn’t shown any interest in crawling yet. Is that a problem?”
No crawling? No problem. Crawling isn’t a must-do for the diaper set. It’s actually considered an optional skill, and isn’t even included on most developmental assessments. And while those who opt out of crawling are limited in mobility, they are limited only briefly—until they figure out how to pull up, to cruise (from chair to coffee table to sofa), and finally to walk. In fact, many babies who never take to all fours end up on two feet earlier than their contentedly crawling comrades.
Some babies don’t crawl because they haven’t been given the chance. So limit the time your baby spends confined in a stroller, bouncer, baby carrier, play yard, and/or ExerSaucer or lying on his back, and give him plenty of opportunities for supervised tummy time so he can practice raising himself on all fours. Encourage him to get moving on hands and knees by putting a favorite toy, a mirror, or an interesting object (like your face or a rolling ball) a short distance ahead of him. Got a hard, slippery floor or scratchy carpet? Roll out a yoga or exercise mat for his tummy time, or cover his knees to provide traction and comfort.
In the next few months, one way or another, your baby will be taking off—and off into trouble. And you’ll be left wondering what the rush was.
Baby Making a Mess
“Now that my daughter is crawling around and pulling up on everything, I can’t keep up with the mess she makes. Should I try to control her—and the mess—better, or give up?”
Messes may be your worst enemy, but they’re an adventurous baby’s best friend. Sure, it’s a pain in the neck (and lower back) to clean up after your mess-making munchkin, but curbing the clutter can also curb her curiosity. Letting her roam—and mess—freely (but safely) allows her to flex her brainpower, her muscles, and her budding sense of independence. Bottom line: It’s impossible to keep your house as neat as it was prebaby, and it’s sort of pointless to try. You’ll be a lot less frustrated—and overwhelmed—if you accept this new, messier reality instead of trying to fight it. But that doesn’t mean you have to wave the Swiffer of surrender entirely. Here’s how to reach a sane compromise between clean and clutter:
Start with a safe house. While it may be okay for her to scatter socks on the bedroom floor or build a house of napkins on the kitchen tile, it isn’t okay for her to clang bottles together to see what happens or rummage around the loose change in your bag. So before you let your baby roam at home, be sure it’s safe for her and from her (click here).
Contain the chaos. You’ll be a lot happier if you try to confine the mess to one or two rooms or areas in the home. That means letting your baby have free run only in her own room and perhaps the kitchen or family room—wherever you and she spend the most time together. Use closed doors or baby-safe gates to define the areas. If you have a small apartment, of course, maintaining baby-free (and mess-free) zones like that may not be realistic.
Also reduce the potential for mess by wedging books in tightly on shelves accessible to your baby, leaving a few of her indestructible books where she can reach them and take them out easily. Seal the more vulnerable cabinets and drawers with childproof safety locks (especially those that contain breakables, valuables, or hazards), and keep most knickknacks off low tables, leaving only a few you don’t mind her playing with. Set aside a special drawer or cabinet for her in each room she frequents to call her own, and fill it with plastic cups, plates, and containers, wooden spoons, stacking cups, and empty boxes.
Setting limits will not only help save your sanity but also help your baby’s development. Little ones really do thrive when limits are set for them—plus, they will eventually teach her the important (though initially elusive) lesson that other people, even parents, have possessions and rights, too.
Let her make a mess in peace. Don’t complain constantly about the mess she’s making. Remember, she’s expressing her natural curiosity (“If I turn this cup of milk over, what will happen?” “If I take all these clothes out of the drawer, what will I find underneath?”), and that’s healthy.
Play it safe. An exception to a let-the-mess-fall-where-it-may attitude should be made when it presents a safety risk. If baby spills her juice or empties the dog’s water bowl, wipe it up promptly. Also pick up sheets of paper and magazines as soon as baby is through with them, and keep traffic lanes (stairways, especially) clear of toys, particularly those with wheels, at all times.
Set aside a sanctuary. You won’t always be able to keep up with the mess, but space in your home allowing, try to preserve a clutter-free zone of your own, even if it’s no more than a nook. Then, at the end of every day, you’ll have a haven to escape to.
Restrain yourself. Try not to follow your happy little hurricane around as she wreaks havoc, putting away everything she takes out. This will frustrate her, giving her the sense that everything she does is not only unacceptable but essentially pointless. And it will frustrate you if she immediately reclutters what you’ve uncluttered. Instead, play pickup once a day, twice tops.
Involve her in cleanup. Don’t do your major cleanups with her underfoot. But do pick up a couple of things with her at the end of each play session, making a point (even if she’s not old enough to get the point) of saying, “Now, can you help Daddy pick this monkey up and put it away?” Hand her one of the blocks to put back into the toy basket, give her a plastic container to return to the cabinet or some crumpled paper to throw into the recycling bin, and applaud each effort. Though she will be messing up a lot more often than she’ll be cleaning up for years to come, these early lessons will help her to understand—eventually—that what comes out must go back in.
Eating Off the Floor
“My baby is always dropping her cracker on the floor and then picking it up and eating it. What’s the real deal on the 5-second rule?”
If the world is your baby’s oyster these days, it’s also her own personal buffet table. Clearly she doesn’t consider what germs her cracker may have picked up on the floor before she munches—and clearly she doesn’t care. And neither should you, at least not most of the time. Sure, there are germs on the floor at home—no matter how hygienically hyper you are—but not in significant numbers. And for the most part, they’re germs your baby has been exposed to before, particularly if she frequently plays on the floor, which she should. That means they’re usually not harmful, and in fact by challenging her immune system to flex its muscles, routine germ exposure may help beef up her resistance. Even germs that she picks up (literally) from the floor of your neighbor’s house or at the daycare center can help on this front. So stay calm and carry on when you catch her eating off the floor (even if it’s obviously not clean enough to eat off of). No need to launch germ warfare with antibacterial rinses or wipes, or leap over the sofa to confiscate the cracker in question if it has overstayed the 5-second rule.
Speaking of that 5-second rule, it’s time to debunk it. Germs will win the race, no matter how quickly you’re able to retrieve the dropped item. Bacteria can attach itself to dropped food within milliseconds (though the longer the food in question stays on the floor or other bacteria-laden surface, the higher the transfer of germs). So the question then is not how long the cracker has spent on the floor (face it, it’ll have bacteria on it), but rather will that bacteria make your baby sick. And that depends on the condition of the surface (where it is, if it’s wet, what’s been there before, and so on).
So leap if you must to intercept a damp object that she’s picked up off the floor and is about to munch on—that day-old cracker she sucked on for hours, the pacifier soaking in a puddle of juice, or the banana chunk that’s been decomposing under the high chair since last week—because bacteria multiply rapidly on wet surfaces. Also unhealthy (and unsuitable for consumption, 5 seconds or not) are objects picked up from the ground outdoors, where less-benign germs (those from dog poop, for instance) make their unwholesome home. Before letting your baby pop a dropped pacifier, bottle, or teether back into her mouth when you’re outside, wash it with soap and water, or clean it with a paci wipe.
Floor picnics won’t be safe, however, if there is lead paint in your home, since it can be ingested by your baby along with anything else she eats (or mouths) off the floor. If you have lead paint in your home (possible in homes built before 1978, when lead paint was outlawed) and it hasn’t been abated yet, make sure you have it professionally taken care of now. In the meantime, intercept those dropped crackers before they reach her mouth. Click here for more on lead exposure.
Eating Dirt—and Worse
“My son puts everything in his mouth. Now that he plays on the floor so much, I have less control over what goes in. Should I be concerned?”
Into the mouths of babes goes anything and everything that fits: dirt, sand, dog food, insects, dust balls, rotten food, even the contents of a dirty diaper. Though it’s obviously best to avoid his sampling from such an unsavory selection, it’s not always possible. Few babies get through the creepy-crawly stage without at least one oral encounter with something his parents consider creepy (or even crawly). Some can’t even get through a single morning.
But you’ve got a lot less to fear from what’s unsanitary than from what’s used to sanitize. A mouthful of dirt isn’t likely to hurt anyone, but even a lick of some cleansers can cause serious damage. You can’t keep everything out of baby’s inquisitive grasp, so don’t worry about the occasional bug or clump of dog hair that finds its way into his mouth (if you catch him with the cat-about-to-swallow-a-canary look, squeeze his cheeks to open his mouth and sweep the object out with a hooked finger). Concentrate instead on keeping toxic substances away from your curious cutie.
You should also be very careful not to let your baby mouth items small enough to swallow or choke on—buttons, bottle caps, paper clips, safety pins, pet kibble, coins, and so on (click here). Before you put your baby down to play, survey the floor for anything that’s less than 1⅜ inches in diameter (about the diameter of a toilet paper tube) and remove it.
Getting Dirty
“My daughter would love to crawl around at the playground if I let her. But the ground is so dirty, I’m not sure I should.”
Break out the stain remover, and break down your resistance to letting your baby get down and dirty. Babies who are forced to watch from the sidelines when they’d really like to be in the scrimmage are likely to stay spotless but unsatisfied. Besides, little ones are thoroughly washable. The most obvious dirt can be washed off with diaper wipes while you’re still at the playground or in the backyard, and ground-in dirt will come off later in the bath. So steel your sensitive sensibilities and, checking first to be sure there’s no broken glass or dog droppings in her path, allow your little sport a carefully supervised crawl around. If she gets into something really dirty, give her hands a once-over with a diaper wipe and send her on her way again. And of course, always tote an extra outfit in the diaper bag—just in case you really need to clean up her act.
Discovering Genitals
“My baby has recently started touching her vagina whenever her diaper is off. Should I try to stop her?”
Your baby is only doing what comes naturally (touching something that feels good to touch), so there’s no need to stop her. This interest in girl or boy parts is as inevitable and healthy a phase of a baby’s development as was her earlier fascination with her mouth, fingers, and toes—or as ears and nose will be later (if they aren’t already). Some babies start these down-south explorations by midway through the first year, others not until year’s end—while still others may not appear as interested, and that’s just as normal. Keep in mind that though the vagina (or penis) is technically a sexual organ, there’s absolutely nothing sexual about this kind of self-touching. It’s as innocent as your baby is.
But what about when she touches her vaginal area and then those same fingers head right to her mouth? Is that unsanitary? No need to worry. All the germs that are in a baby’s genital area are her own and pose no threat. But definitely intercept before hands that have touched a poopy diaper area head toward the mouth. The fecal-oral route is something you want to derail, since serious infections can result. Another hand-genital action you should stop in its tracks: your little girl probing her girl parts with very dirty … and germy … hands. Those germs could cause a vaginal infection, so be sure to wash your little one’s hands often to keep them clean. Boy parts are not susceptible in the same way, but clean hands are always a good idea, for boys or girls.
When your little one gets old enough to understand, you’ll be able to explain that this part of her body is private, and that though it’s okay for her to touch it, it’s best if she touches herself in private—and that it’s not okay to let anyone else touch it (except a doctor).
Erections
“When I’m diapering my baby, he sometimes gets an erection—and I’m wondering if that’s normal at his age.”
Erections come with the territory when you have a penis—in fact, boy fetuses even have them in utero. Though they’re definitely not sexual yet, they’re the normal reaction to touch of that sensitive sexual organ—as are a little girl’s clitoral erections, which are less noticeable but probably as common. A baby may also have an erection when his diaper rubs against his penis, when he’s nursing, when you’re washing him in the bathtub, in response to air—or just randomly. All baby boys have erections, and some have them more often than others. In other words, it’s boy business as usual—and absolutely nothing to worry about.
Play Yard Time
“When we bought our play yard a couple of months ago, our baby just couldn’t seem to get enough time in it. Now she screams to get out after only 5 minutes.”
As your baby has grown, so has her perspective from inside the play yard. A couple of months ago, the play yard was vast and endlessly entertaining—her own personal amusement park. Now she’s beginning to realize that there’s a whole world—or at least a family room—out there, and she’s game to take it on. The four mesh walls that once enclosed her paradise are now her barriers to freedom, keeping her on the inside looking out.
So don’t fence her in. Take your baby’s hint and start using the play yard sparingly and only as needed—for instance, when you need her penned up for her own safety while you mop the kitchen floor, put something in the oven, or pick up her toys (though be sure not to leave her unattended in the play yard—she should always be in your view). Limit her time to no more than 10 to 20 minutes at a stretch, which is about as long as an active 7-or 8- month-old will tolerate it anyway—or should be expected to. Rotate her stock of toys frequently so she won’t become bored too soon, especially if she’s outgrown any toy accessories the yard came with. Just keep large toys out, since an extremely agile and resourceful baby may be able to use them to climb to freedom. Also avoid hanging toys across the top of the play yard.
If she protests before she’s done her time, try giving her some novel playthings—a metal bowl and a wooden spoon, perhaps, or a clean, empty plastic bottle or two (without the cap)—anything she doesn’t usually play with in this setting. If that doesn’t work, parole her as soon as you reasonably can.
“My son could stay in the play yard all day if I let him, but I’m not sure I should.”
Some easygoing babies seem perfectly content to be cooped up in the play yard, even late into the first year—and it’s fine for your little guy to play in one place, to a point. It’s also important for him to see the world from a different perspective than he can spy from the confines of his four mesh walls, and to flex the muscles that will eventually allow him to explore that world on all fours, then two feet. So even if he’s not actively demanding his freedom, let him free on the floor in between play yard stays. If he’s hesitant at first, help him transition to those wide-open spaces by sitting with him. Set him up with a few favorite toys, or cheer on his attempts at crawling. Gradually, help him adjust to more floor time, less yard time.
Left- or Right-Handedness
“I’ve noticed that my baby picks up and reaches for toys with either hand. Should I try to encourage him to use his right?”
It’s common for babies to appear ambidextrous, freely alternating between hands until they decide which is more … handy. In fact, babies usually don’t start playing hand favorites until about 18 months at the earliest, and most don’t settle on one until at least the second birthday—though some kids keep their parents guessing for several years beyond that.
Statistically speaking, your baby (and 90 percent of his baby buddies) will probably end up preferring the right hand—only 5 to 10 percent of people are lefties. A lot has to do with genetics—when both parents are lefties, there’s more than a 50 percent chance their children will also be left-handed. When just one parent is left-handed, the chance of a child being left-handed drops to about 17 percent, and when neither parent is left-handed, it’s down to 2 percent.
Wondering if you should try nudging your little one to use one hand over the other? Hands off. Since it’s nature, not nurture, at work here, nothing you do would work anyway. Research suggests that pushing a child to use the hand he’s not genetically programmed to use can lead to problems later with hand-eye coordination and dexterity. (Have you ever tried to write with the “wrong” hand? Imagine how tough it would be if you had to use that hand consistently.) Time will tell whether you’ve got yourself a righty or a lefty on your hands—all you need to do is sit back and watch nature take its course.
If your baby strongly favors one hand over the other before he turns 18 months, let the doctor know. In rare cases, such an early and consistent preference can signal a neurological problem.
Reading to Baby
“I’d like my daughter to be a reader, like I am. Is it too early to start reading to her?”
It’s never too early to start raising a reader—even though your baby may be more wiggle worm than bookworm at first, or do more chewing on the corners of books than looking at their pages. But soon enough she’ll begin to pay attention to the words as you read them (first to the rhythm and sounds of the words, later to their meanings) and to the illustrations (enjoying the colors and patterns at first and later relating the pictures to known objects). And before you know it, your baby will look forward to storytime as much as you do. Here’s how you can nurture a love of reading:
Storytime will become everyone’s favorite time.
Be a reading role model. Are you hooked on books? Not surprisingly, readers are more likely to raise readers (much as TV watching tends to run in the family). So let your baby catch you with your nose behind a book or e-reader often—or at least, as often as you realistically can. Steal a moment or two while your little one’s playing to read a few pages—reading out loud can help make the connection even stronger. Keep books around the house, and point out often, “This is Daddy’s book” or “Mommy loves to read books.”
Learn to read baby-style. When reading to a baby, style (tempo, tone, inflection) matters even more than the words do. So go slowly, but go to town with your delivery—with the lilting singsong voice babies lap up and exaggerated emphasis in the right places. Stop at each page to point out what’s going on in the pictures (“Look at the little boy sitting on the hill,” or “See the puppy playing?”) or to show her animals or people (“That’s a cow—a cow says ‘moo’” or “There’s a baby in a crib—the baby’s going night-night”).
Make reading a habit. Build reading into baby’s daily routine, doing a few minutes at least twice a day, when she’s alert and when she’s already been fed. Before naptime, after lunch, after bath, and before bed are all good reading times. But keep to the schedule only if baby’s receptive—don’t push a book on her when she’s in the mood to practice crawling or make music with two pot covers. Reading should be fun—never a drag.
Keep the library open. Store destructible books on a high shelf for parent-supervised reading sessions, but keep a small (to prevent baby from being overwhelmed) rotating (to prevent baby from becoming bored) library of babyproof books where she can reach and enjoy them. Sometimes a baby who resists being sat down for a reading session with mommy or daddy will be happy to “read” to herself, turning pages and looking at pictures at her own pace. Ditto for e-readers. Allow her the supervised opportunity every so often to look at electronic books, many of which are interactive.
ALL ABOUT:
Putting the Super in Baby
No doubt you’ve heard about the flashy educational toys sure to boost your baby’s brain development and send those fine motor skills soaring off the charts. The apps that’ll have your 7-month-old channeling Einstein and Mozart (not to mention reading on a fourth-grade level by age 2). The classes practically guaranteed to turn out a pint-size prodigy. And now you’re wondering: Should I be buying (and signing my child up for) these whiz-baby products and services?
You may want to read this first. Though it might be possible—and let’s face it, even a little satisfying—to teach an infant a wide variety of skills (including how to recognize words) long before they are ordinarily learned, the majority of experts agree that there’s no evidence that intense early learning actually provides a long-term advantage over a more traditional timetable of learning patterns. In fact, studies show that so-called reading programs for babies don’t teach babies how to read at all.
Interestingly, early learning programs touted to beef up brainpower and speed language development may have a very different effect. Research has shown that infants fed a steady diet of educational videos, computer programs, and apps actually know fewer words than those who have less screen time—probably because excessive screen time preempts valuable one-on-one time with mom and dad, which is when babies do their best language learning.
In other words, your baby should be spending his or her first year being a baby, not a student. And babyhood comes with quite a course load of its own—not just intellectual but emotional, physical, and social as well. During these exciting 12 months, babies have to learn to build attachments to others (to mommy, daddy, siblings, babysitters), to trust (“When I’m in trouble, I can depend on Mommy or Daddy to help me”), and to grasp the concept of object permanence (“When Daddy hides behind the chair, he’s still there, even though I don’t see him”). They need to learn to use their bodies (to sit, stand, walk), their hands (to pick up and drop, as well as to manipulate), and their minds (solving problems such as how-to-get-that-truck-from-the-shelf-I-can’t-reach). They’ll need to learn the meanings of hundreds of words and, eventually, how to reproduce them using a complicated combination of voice box, lips, and tongue. And they’ll need to learn something about feelings—first their own, then those of others. With so many lessons lined up already, it’s likely that academic add-ons might overload baby’s circuits, maybe even leaving some of these important areas of learning (including those critical emotional and social ones) to lag.
How do you make sure you’re fully nurturing all the many amazing sides of your baby’s development, so he or she can reach that personal best at a rate that’s personally appropriate? Not necessarily by signing up for classes or ordering online educational programs, but by standing by to offer plenty of encouragement and support as your baby tackles the ordinary (but extraordinary!) tasks of infancy. By nurturing baby’s natural curiosity about the big world at large (whether it’s a dust ball on the floor or a cloud in the sky). By providing a stimulating variety of settings to soak up (stores, zoos, museums, gas stations, parks). By talking about people you see (“That man is riding a bicycle,” “Those children are going to school,” “That woman is a police officer who can help us”), and by describing how things work (“See, I turn on the faucet and water comes out”), what they are used for (“This is a chair. You sit in a chair”), and how they differ (“The kitty cat has a long tail and the pig has a little curly one”). Offering your baby an environment that’s language rich (by spending plenty of time talking, singing songs, and reading books) will boost language skills immeasurably—but keep in mind that it’s more important for your baby to know that a dog says “woof,” can bite and lick, has four legs, and has fur all over than to be able to recognize that the letters d-o-g spell dog.
If your baby does show an interest in words, letters, or numbers, by all means nurture that interest. But don’t pass on the playground so you and baby can spend all your time with a pile of flashcards (or a tablet’s worth of apps). Learning—whether it’s how to recognize a letter or how to throw a ball, two things your baby can learn just as easily and probably more effectively on a playground as in a class setting—should be fun. And at this tender age, learning should come from doing, which is always how little ones learn best.
