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Universal Orlando, SeaWorld & beyond

Disney is only half the story. Less than half, really, when you consider that while the Mouse maintains four parks, you’ll find another four major themers, plus a luxury-level theme park, in the same vicinity. While some blinkered tourists think of these places as something to do after they “do Disney,” the truth is these majors are in many ways just as appealing as the more famous Mouse parks. Make sure to call it by the correct name: The resort is called Universal Orlando, which consists of two parks, Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure.

Universal Orlando

You’d be remiss if you left town without seeing at least two of Disney’s parks, but the design chutzpah is happening at Universal—many observers agree that the spectacular Wizarding World of Harry Potter trumps anything else in America’s theme park industry. Thanks to these top-notch parks, there’s now a true threat to Disney’s dominance, and as more people grow annoyed with Disney’s slowly declining service level, Universal is making rapid gains. In 2014, the opening of the Diagon Alley area of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter turned the resort into a destination people will tour over 3 days rather than two. Universal’s resort is also easier to roam than Disney’s: It’s walkable or traversed by quick, free ferries, so you can park your car and forget about it—no waiting for crowded buses.

The opening of Universal Studios in 1990 heralded a new era for Orlando tourism. Instead of merely duplicating its original Hollywood location, which is on a historic movie studio lot, Universal Orlando built a full-fledged all-day amusement park.

While its opening was famously troubled, there was little doubt that Universal’s innovations, when they worked, instantly raised the bar for amusement parks worldwide. A chief advance was that almost all of its attractions were indoors—even the thrills. Given Florida’s scorching sun and unpredictable rains, this leap shouldn’t have been as novel as it was. While Disney, still working on a California model, allowed its guests to twiddle thumbs in the cruel heat as they waited in line, Universal’s multistage queuing system kept them entertained and air-conditioned while they waited. Therefore, Universal Studios is the park you should choose on rainy days or excessively hot ones. (At Islands of Adventure, though, many of thrill rides travel outdoors and will shut down at the hint of lightning.) Even the covered parking garages at Universal Orlando (shared by both parks and CityWalk) were novel for Florida.

Disney was clearly spooked. It hastily banged out a movies-themed park of its own, Disney–MGM Studios (now called Hollywood Studios). It was a rush job, lacking the organization and thematic quality that made its previous two parks such smashes, and today it’s the least popular Disney park.

Throughout the 1990s, Universal’s one-park setup meant it mostly grabbed visitors on day trips from Disney. That changed—and the fight got ruthless—in the summer of 1999, when a second, $2.6-billion park, Islands of Adventure, made its dazzling debut. Universal broke the bank, even poaching Imagineers. Universal’s domain has further expanded to include the nightlife district CityWalk and four fun hotels.

Just like with He Who Must Not Be Named, there was always a master plan for a total domination. In 2014, Universal cut the ribbon on a brilliant new idea never tried before in theme parks. After the 2010 addition of Islands of Adventure’s The Wizarding World of Harry Potter—Hogsmeade proved to be an unprecedented blockbuster—it added a second Harry Potter land, Diagon Alley, in the other park, Universal Studios. Here’s the genius part—they are linked by a special-effects-laden train that requires guests to purchase a ticket to both parks to see everything. Universal’s parent company, Comcast, marshals its many holdings, including NBC, to promote the destination with the intention of sapping traffic from rival Disney.

Universal’s two parks combined still only fetch a third of the visitors attracted by Disney’s four, but that proportion is growing by the year, and the 2014 opening of Cabana Bay (p. 211), now it largest hotel, finally gave economy visitors an on-property roost. Most of the time, lines are nowhere near as long as they are at Disney. Unless crowds are insanely huge (such as before Halloween Horror Nights events or during Christmas week), Universal takes about 2 days to adequately see. With a two-park pass and a willingness to bypass lesser attractions, you could see only highlights in 1 marathon day, provided at least one of the parks stays open until 9 or 10pm, but now that the second Harry Potter section has opened, though (p. 101), 2 days is the new minimum requirement. In any event, bopping between the two parks isn’t hard, since their entrances are a 5-minute stroll apart or you can take a dazzling connecting train.

Tickets to Universal’s Parks

Tickets for both parks cost the same and multi-day tickets are more expensive if you buy at the gate. As you can see by how prices scale, Universal wants to force you into a multi-day commitment. If you want to ride the Hogwarts Express train that links the two parks, you must have a park-to-park ticket. Gate prices before tax:

1-day ticket for one park: $96 adults, $90 kids ages 3 to 9

1-day park-to-park ticket: $136 adults, $127 kids ages 3 to 9

2 days of 1-park tickets: $146 adults, $136 kids ages 3 to 9 *

2-day, park-to-park ticket: $176 adults, $166 kids ages 3 to 9 *

3-day, park-to-park ticket: $186 adults, $175 kids ages 3 to 9 *

4-day, park-to-park ticket: $196 adults, $184 kids ages 3 to 9 *

    * Minus $20 per ticket if you buy online ahead of time

If you buy a 1-park ticket and change your mind midway through the day, there are ticket kiosks at the Hogwarts Express train stations that simply charge you the difference in price for a park-to-park ticket; you won’t pay a penalty for waiting.

contacting Universal

General information:  407/363-8000; www.universalorlando.com

Guest services:  407/224-4233

Hotel reservations:  888/273-1311

Vacation packages:  877/801-9720; www.universalorlandovacations.com

Lost and found:  407/224-4233, option 2

If you’re doing a full complement of the non-Disney parks, including both Universal parks, SeaWorld, Aquatica, Wet ’n Wild, and Busch Gardens, then you’ll find value in the FlexTicket, also sold on Universal’s site ($320 adults, $300 kids 3–9 for all those parks), which gets you into all of them for 2 weeks. Details are on p. 236.

HOPPING THE LINES    Like Disney’s Fastpass, Universal Express Pass allows guests to use a separate entrance queue that is dramatically shorter than the “Standby” one, reducing wait times to minutes or even seconds; your ticket is scanned by an employee. Unlike Disney’s democratic Fastpass, Express is for sale. Guests can buy an Express Plus pass at shops. There is one set of prices that allows one-time-per-ride use ($35–$60 for one park, from $40–$70 for both), another price (from $75/$90) for unlimited rides, and all prices are bit higher when it’s busy. The only major rides that are excluded are Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, Escape from Gringotts, and the Hogwarts Express. Using this is expensive, but it enables you to see both Universal parks in a single day and consequently spend less in tickets and see more of Orlando. Bundles that include park tickets with Express are sold for $190 to $270 adult, $185 to $265 kids aged 3 to 9 per day, depending on how busy the parks are. There is also a third, simpler way to get an Express Pass: Guests of the Universal hotels (except Cabana Bay) can use their key cards for free Express access.

Universal also has a Ride Reservations program. You’re given a simple pager device that lists the next available entry at each attraction; the appointments reflect each ride’s current wait time, so essentially, the system gives you a virtual place in line. You schedule visits (only one at any moment) by pressing buttons, and it vibrates when it’s time. That’s $30 to make one reservation per ride or $40 for unlimited re-rides.

Universal also has photographers on hand to take your photo at big moments. Its Photo Connect works a lot like Disney’s PhotoPass: You’ll get a claim ticket enabling you to purchase an expensive copy or download unlimited images within 3 days (for $60), but you may always use your own camera instead. You can also check your images as you collect them using an app.

Universal has free in-park Wi-Fi, and its free app, the Official Universal Orlando Resort App, provides wait times, showtimes, maps, and walking directions.

WHAT TO WEAR    Dress small children in bathing suits for a day at Universal Studios because its Kidzone, one of its best sections, will get them soaked. At Islands of Adventure, two of the best adult rides are water-based.

Universal Studios Florida

Universal Studios usually opens at 9am, and in winter months, hours end at around dinnertime. In summer, they’re often as late as 10pm. After you get your car parked ($17 and up) and your handbags probed, take the covered sidewalks to CityWalk and head to the right. Pause now at the giant, rotating globe for the requisite photo op, because the sun is in your favor for photographs in the morning.

   Shop Late to Save

At the extreme right of the entry plaza as you leaving the park, there’s a souvenir stand. This is no ordinary stand: It’s for marked-down items. The small stand at the entrance to Islands of Adventure is also a good stop for discount goods.

The plaza after the turnstiles is where you take care of business. Strollers and wheelchairs are obtained to the left, and lockers are rented to the right. (You may bring your stroller to the other park within 2 hr. of closing; if you’re taking the Hogwarts Express, there’s a place to drop it off before boarding and another kiosk for getting a new one at Islands of Adventure.) Make sure to grab a free park map here; if you forget, the stores also stock them.

Although there are technically themed areas, not all of them are strictly defined. They fall into two general zones. Everyone enters along the main avenue of the simulated backlot (including Production Central, Hollywood, and New York), which contains many of the behind-the-scenes attractions, while the elongated Lagoon stretches off to the right, encircled by many of the thrill-based rides in San Francisco, Springfield, World Expo, and Woody Woodpecker’s Kidzone. The Wizarding World of Harry Potter—Diagon Alley is on the far side of the lagoon.

After dark, if the park’s open then, the water hosts the Cinematic Spectacular, narrated by Morgan Freeman. It’s a quaint show featuring classic Universal clips projected onto waterfall screens, plus a modest taste of fireworks action. Shows like these aren’t Universal’s forte, but there’s not a Disney-esque crush of spectators, either.

Production Central

The area along the entry avenue (called both Plaza of the Stars and 57th St.) and to its left is collectively marked on maps as Production Central, but who are they kidding? Nowadays, those soundstages are used mostly for the odd local commercial and for haunted houses at Universal’s fiendishly popular Halloween event.

The initial dream was much bigger. When the park was built, it was intended to be more like the original Hollywood location, where an amusement area grew up around a working studio. Newspapers at the time trumpeted Orlando as “Hollywood of the East” because year-round production could be accomplished here and at Disney–MGM Studios, and millions of tourists could be a part of the process. One of Universal’s soundstages housed a working TV studio for Nickelodeon, the kids’ cable channel, and the game show “Double Dare” plucked families out of the park to compete on air. In front of the studio, a geyser of “green slime” (actually green water) gurgled in tribute to the Canadian show “You Can’t Do That on Television” that helped make the channel’s fortunes. (Today, that stage houses the equally messy Blue Man Group.) But the plan never took. It wasn’t cost-effective to move productions here, celebrities didn’t really relish working amidst a theme park, and state tax credits were often spotty.

What the Basics cost at Universal’s Two Parks

Parking: $17; $22 for closer “preferred” spaces; $30 for all-day valet

Single strollers: $15 per day

Double strollers: $25 per day

Kiddie Car (a stroller with a dummy steering wheel): $18; $28 double

Wheelchair: $12

ECV (electric convenience vehicle): $50

Lockers: $8 per day small (multi-entry)

Poncho: $8 adult, $7 kids

Regular soda: $3 / Water: $2.75 / Beer: $6.50

Universal Studios Florida

The first block of Production Central is mostly shops, including the largest gift shop in the park, Universal Studios Store, on the left. Across from that are the tempting Art Deco buildings of Rodeo Drive, the spine of the Hollywood area and for my money the prettiest part of the park.

Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit RIDE    This is one advanced train: The 17-story height, vertical climb, hill-like loop, and near misses are just the start of it. Most advanced are its cars, outfitted with LEDs and in-seat speakers. Riders personalize their trip on screens embedded in the beltlike safety restraint, choosing the song that will play during the trip. Pick from a broad menu including country, rap, rock, and disco, but if you don’t pick a song, it’ll choose one for you. When the ride’s over, you can buy a movie of the ride, along with your soundtrack. Lockers are required for loose items, but they’re free for the wait time plus 20 minutes. Single riders get their own line, and it moves quickly. Note the novel boarding system that batches passengers together and sends them onto a moving sidewalk to catch up with the trains, which never stop moving forward. That first loop is also an original—the track twists to send the cars over the top of it before pulling them back on the inside again. Later on, you shoot through holes in the scenery in the New York session. Rockin’.

Despicable Me Minion Mayhem RIDE    The movies, if you don’t know them, star a crotchety mad genius, Gru (voiced by Steve Carell), and his horde of nearly identical yellow henchmen (the Minions); their ride, which is considerably more charming than the films, give the little guys ample opportunity for some cartoon violence and giggly gags. The kid-friendly show/stationary ride takes place in a theater full of individual open-air ride platforms that have all the characteristics of motion simulators except claustrophobia. Strategy: An option for those prone to motion sickness is to request a car that doesn’t move at all—the perfectly animated 3-D movie is immensely action-packed and is entertaining without it.

Shrek 4-D SHOW    The high-priced voices of the movie characters (Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy) star in a snarky 12-minute, 3-D movie-cum-spectacle—filmed in “OgreVision.” John Lithgow plays the ghost of the evil Lord Farquaad, who crashes Shrek and Fiona’s honeymoon at Fairytale Falls with a few dastardly deeds. The chairs look like standard theater seats but they’re tricked-up to goose sensations—don’t worry; it won’t make you ill. Well, unless fart jokes gross you out. It’s a good one to do when the feet start aching, although the line can build in the afternoon. Strategy: Because the entertaining preshow is just as long as the movie, the Express Pass doesn’t seem to buy you very much time. After the exit, visit Donkey’s Photo Finish, featuring an interactive, robotic version of the movie’s famous ass in his own stall; he interacts with kids and poses.

Transformers: The Ride—3D RIDE    This 2013 addition, an East Coast version of a ride that first appeared at Universal Studios Hollywood, repeats the technology and basic vehicle design of the gentler Adventures of Spider-Man next door at Islands of Adventure—that is, motion-simulator cars travel among sense-tricking rooms with 3-D projections. There difference is that here, the show method is pumped up with crisper animation, clearer sounds, and a whole lot of machine-on-machine violence and military-grade weaponry. But at heart, no matter how impressive the tech is, Transformers is still a Spider-Man update, down to key plot points. The mayhem is so frenetic you can’t always tell which Transformer is which, but then again, you can’t in the movies, either, so it hardly matters. You’ll emerge feeling like you survived a 4-minute car crash. Tip: The clearest view is in the front row, and there’s a fast-moving Single Rider line.

New York

When there’s a park on your right, you’ve entered the New York area. In a display of geographic acrobatics, the park is an imitation of San Francisco’s Union Square while straight ahead, at the end of 57th Street (the main entry avenue) is a little cul-de-sac that looks, through a camera lens, like Manhattan—except for the roller coaster that keeps roaring through.

The rest of the New York section is gussied up to look like the tenements of the Lower East Side or Greenwich Village and is worth a few photos. Actors playing The Blues Brothers, plus a female diva soul singer, show up on Delancey Street for regular jam sessions, and they’re talented.

Twister . . . Ride It Out SHOW    After several rooms of portentous preshow videos narrated by Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton, you finally enter a viewing area in a hangarlike chamber that’s dressed to look like a Midwestern small town (gas station, telephone pole, drive-in movie in the distance) on a weekend night. A storm approaches, rain begins to fall and, as you knew it would, a twister forms. Right before your eyes, a funnel cloud descends from the rafters and to the delight of many, wrecks the place. Sparks fly, roofs peel, and guess what happens to the gas station? Although people tend to shy away from the front row, don’t, because you won’t feel much more than mist and a light sucking sensation there (I’d tuck sensitive electronics away anyway). It’s quite an original attraction, and it’s another good one for a hot day, but little kids might lose their wits. Strategy: It runs continuously, but I wouldn’t wait more than 20 minutes for it.

   The Best of Universal Studios Florida

Don’t miss if you’re 6: Curious George Goes to Town

Don’t miss if you’re 16: Springfield

Requisite photo op: The rotating Universal globe out front

Food you can only get here: Butterbeer ice cream and Fishy Green Ale, Diagon Alley; Flaming Moe’s and Duff Beer, Springfield

The most crowded, so go early: The Wizarding World of Harry Potter—Diagon Alley

Skippable: Fear Factor Live

Biggest thrill: Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts

Best show: Animal Actors on Location!

Where to find peace: On the lagoon

Revenge of the Mummy RIDE    This brilliant ride is cutting edge with an easy start and a rollicking finish: Part dark ride, part roller coaster, it goes backward and forward, twists on a turntable, and even spends a harrowing moment stalled in a room as the ceiling crawls with fire. (It doesn’t go upside-down.) To say much more would give away some clever shocks. I’ve told you what you need to know. Strategy: You must put loose articles in the lockers to the right of the entrance—they’re free for the posted ride time plus 20 minutes, but after that they cost $3 every half hour, so although you’ll probably want to ride again right away, don’t. There are three lines: Express, standby, and single riders.

San Francisco

Of all the Studios’ areas, the San Francisco section has the least going on: one ride, one show. However, the restaurants are better than anywhere in the park. Once Harry Potter opens, though, expect it to be the park’s main channel for sightseers.

Beetlejuice’s Graveyard Revue SHOW    Universal owns the rights to many classic movie monsters, and strangely, they appear in this rowdy ’80s and ’90s rock-’n’-roll show, presided over by the undead, naughty-minded Beetlejuice, who aims more for the funny bone than the jugular. Watching Dracula lead a dance chorus through “Smooth Criminal” will make you feel like someone slipped something into your Coke. Strategy: Unless you’re a show person, you can skip this one, at least until you’ve knocked down some of the fresher attractions (or some liquor). The 20-minute performances happen a few times daily.

Disaster! SHOW/RIDE    In the preshow, a projected Christopher Walken, pretending to be a big disaster-movie director, interacts at length with a live actor. The technology is impressive, especially as his lifelike image rests his feet on boxes you can clearly see in front of you. Next, everyone files into an adjoining “soundstage” and volunteers from the audience stand in for special-effect insert shots. Finally, everyone boards a tram mocked up to resemble San Francisco’s BART subway—seats on the outside are the best. It travels down a tunnel and stops inside what appears to be a faithful re-creation of the Embarcadero station, albeit one that smells suspiciously of natural gas. Of course something goes horribly wrong. There’s an earthquake. Hell is unleashed: rocking, flooding to within an inch of the train, the unexpected intrusion of a gas truck from the “street” above (with the required climactic explosion). The intent is to approximate a jolt measuring 8.3 on the Richter scale. Just as quickly as it began, everything halts and reassembles itself for the next “take” as your train whisks you out again. Warning: Claustrophobes abhor the BART bit, as do some nervous children.

   Make Back Some of Your Admission Expenses

The Delancey Street Preview Center is marked on maps, but you can only get in by invitation (someone will approach you on the streets). That’s where NBC-affiliated entities screen pilots and solicit audience opinions. On a quiet January day, I once earned $30 just for enduring a new show called “Psych.” I broke it to them gently, telling them that it was clichéd and strained. Naturally, it became an eight-season smash on USA Network. You can’t predict the demographic of the test audience they’ll be looking for, so stop by and ask if you fit the profile du jour.

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter—Diagon Alley

From the outside, it appears to simply be a re-creation of some London landmarks, including a perfectly replicated Kings Cross station and some townhouses that would fool a lifetime resident of Bloomsbury (keep an eye on the curtains in the second balcony window of 12 Grimmauld Place, the shabby townhouse). You have the re-creation of the “Eros” fountain from Piccadilly Circus (unlike the original, this one is actually flowing), cab shelters selling Britannia souvenirs and jumbo hot dogs, and a three-level-tall Knight Bus. If its conductor is there, go have a chat with him, but don’t be alarmed if the shrunken Jamaican head hanging above his steering wheel butts into the conversation.

Hidden behind the London facade, through some sidelong portals through brick, is the world’s hottest theme park phenomenon of the moment, essentially a wholesale construction of 3 city blocks around Diagon Alley, where wizards go for their provisions. It’s not so much a single attraction as it is a cluttered streetscape of shops, beverage and dessert stores, and painstaking design work that seals you off from the outside world. There are few right angles, but plenty of opportunities to spend lots and lots of cash. You could pass hours simply exploring details, from tricked-out window displays (the skeleton that imitates your movements from the window of Dystyl Phaelanges is a standout) to clever signage larded with inside jokes (“These Premises to Let: Reptiles/Arachnids Allowed”).

The main thoroughfare is Diagon Alley, lined with the Leaky Cauldron restaurant, plus shops for wands, toys, and clothing. It leads dramatically to Gringotts Bank, which is crested by a petrified dragon that belches fire every few minutes. Gringotts is on Horizont Alley, a 2-block lane noted for its pet store, beer hall, and ice cream shop. On the left, it leads into Knockturn Alley, a fascinating indoor area that simulates a shady ghetto at night, right down to shifting clouds in a simulated sky and a tattoo parlor, Marcus Scarr’s, where the animated sample designs writhe on the wall. Branching off from Diagon Alley on the right, you find Carkitt Market, a covered area recalling London’s Leadenhall Market, where the principal show stage for the land is located. Performances include The Singing Sorceress: Celestina Warbeck and the Banshees (a talented but somewhat out-of-theme singer rendering such classics as “A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love”) and The Tales of Beedle the Bard (a street performance with puppets of two tales from the Potter spin-off book).

   Reducio! Ways to Lighten Your Wallet at Diagon Alley

Nearly everything there is to do and taste comes with a price tag, and you can’t get these experiences outside Universal’s gates. It’s extraordinarily easy to get swept along in the merchandising mesmerization. Some of the best bespoke purchasing potential includes these Potterized twists:

Gringotts Money Exchange, Carkitt Market. Trade in “muggle money” (U.S. $10s and $20s only) for Gringotts Bank Rune Credit, a currency that you can use in both parks or, Universal hopes, take home as a souvenir for pure profit.

Ollivanders, Diagon Alley. In addition to the same wand-selecting mini-show available at Hogsmeade (p. 120), you may purchase a $45 interactive wand used to activate more than a dozen tricks wherever you see a medallion embedded in the ground. Stand on it, emulate the wand motion depicted on it, and you’ll make toilets flush, suits of armor animate, fountains squirt, and so on.

The Hopping Pot, Carkitt Market, and the Fountain of Fair Fortune, Horizont Alley. Sip sweet concoctions for $5 each: Otter’s Fizzy Orange Juice, Tongue Tying Lemon Squash, Peachtree Fizzing Tea, and Fishy Green Ale with “fish eggs” (actually blueberry boba) on the bottom. They also sell the classic Potter potable, Butterbeer (in a mug made for Diagon Alley, $12), and two beers unique to the park, Wizards Brew (a light lager) and Dragon Scale (a chocolatey stout), both $9

Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour, Diagon Alley. Try a range of only-here flavors including Chocolate Chili, Clotted Cream, Earl Grey and Lavender, and a dangerously addictive soft-serve version of Butterbeer ($5 cup, $6 cone, $11 in a souvenir plastic cup).

Eternelle’s Elixir of Refreshment, Carkitt Market. Mix your choice of $4 “elixirs” (Draught of Peace, Fire Protection Potion, and so forth) with $4 “Gillywater” (water) and something magical happens (Universal just made $8 on sugar water).

Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, Diagon Alley. The new local toy shop (replacing the old Zonkos at Hogsmeade) sells $15 Pygmy Puff stuffed animals. When a purchase is made, the staff gongs a huge bell and announces a new adoption. Also buy the candies Ron would eat to get out of school: Puking Pastilles, Fainting Fancies, Fever Fudge, and Nosebleed Nougat ($7 each).

Magical Menagerie, Horizont Alley. Where windows are filled with animated pets such as pythons and giant snails, procure the specialty souvenir: a plush version of Hermione’s half-Kneazle cat Crookshanks ($25).

Shutterbutton’s, Carkitt Market. Via a green screen, put your family in the middle of a 3- to 4-minute DVD ($70), like a moving postcard exploring the Potter universe.

Harry Potter and the Escape From Gringotts RIDE    Another genre-busting creation, this indoor ride plows new technological ground: part roller coaster, part motion simulator amid giant 3-D high-def screens. At times your respect for its razor’s-edge complexity will overshadow the purity of the thrills, but it’s still unmissable. The queue lingers in the sumptuous, echoing lobby of Gringotts Bank, where 10 robotic goblins pause long enough from their clerical duties to sneer at you, then your “identification” photo is taken (to sell to you later, of course) and you’re taken by “lift” deep underground to begin the mine cart-like race through the vaults. Almost immediately, nasty lightning bolts from Bellatrix Lestrange (Helena Bonham Carter) put your course awry, sending you careening into the slithering presence of Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes). Can Harry, Ron, and Hermione save you in time? (What do you think?) There are some mild spins and drops, but you wear 3-D goggles the whole time, so it’s not that rough, and it’s less scary and height-restrictive than the Forbidden Journey ride at Hogsmeade. Tip: Locker use for small items is mandatory; they’re free and to the right of the front door. There’s a single-rider line that moves quickly, but you’ll miss the entire pre-show, including the photo op and the lift.

Hogwarts Express RIDE    Separate from Diagon Alley, through the vaulted brick interior of a shockingly accurate Kings Cross Station, you board the hissing, steaming, and, to all appearances, vintage steam train to Hogsmeade. You are assigned a six-person, upholstered compartment, the door shuts, and off you go. Out the window, England and Scotland scroll by while in the train corridor, you overhear conversations and see ominous shadows through frosted glass. In reality, you’re traveling through Universal’s backstage area, but you never see it. The technical prowess is nearly totally convincing, and even where it isn’t, it’s still dazzling. Within 4 minutes, you disembark at Islands of Adventure outside the gate to the other Wizarding World (if you require an upgrade to a park-to-park ticket, there are kiosks for the purpose). In the station, there’s also a spot, done with mirrors and clever lighting, for you to re-create the moment when Harry and his fellow students walk through a brick wall to reach Platform 93⁄4. That photo op gets thronged, but there’s a bypass if you don’t want to wait for it.

World Expo

As Springfield expands, there’s not much to this area except a ride and a dated show.

Men in Black: Alien Attack RIDE    Most riders enjoy this sassy riff on the Will Smith film franchise. After a superlative queue area that does a pitch-perfect, “Jetsons”-style imitation of New York’s 1964 World’s Fair (ironically, the one Walt Disney created so many wonders for), you discover the “real” tenant of the futuristic building: a training course for the Men in Black alien patrol corps. You board six-person cars equipped with individual laser guns. As you pass from room to room—expect lots of herky-jerky motions, but nothing sickening—your task is to fire upon any alien that pops out from around doorways, behind trash cans, and so on. If they peg you first, it sends your buggy spinning. Each car’s point score is displayed on the dashboard, and the number accumulated by the end determines the climactic video you’re shown—Will Smith will either praise you as “Galaxy Defender” or mock you as “Bug Bait.” Strategy: The single riders’ queue moves quickly, thanks to the odd number of seats in each row. Locker use for small items is mandatory, but free for the posted wait time plus 20 minutes.

Fear Factor Live SHOW    Like the meat-headed NBC show, ordinary people do stunts (usually involving being dangled on wires, maybe eating food-grade mealworms) for the twisted pleasure of a whooping audience while an inane master of ceremonies eggs everyone on. If you’re over 18 and want to volunteer as a contestant (first prize: polite applause), be there 70 minutes before your selected showtime and you’ll go through a tryout including jumping jacks and a game of Simon Says. Contestants can’t wear jewelry, and if your hands sweat when you’re nervous, you will stink at the gripping challenges. This show goes dark in September and October.

Springfield

After Diagon Alley, it’s the most fun land in the Studios. The area is jammed with inside jokes from the longest-running comedy on TV. Kwik-E-Mart sells an array of bespoke souvenirs you can only get here, the Duff Brewery pours its signature quaff—the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems—plus Squishees, and the embiggened statue of frontiersman Jebediah Springfield lords over us all.

The Simpsons Ride RIDE    It’s easy to love this highly amusing, top-quality, motion-simulator “Thrilltacular Upsy-Downsy Spins-Aroundsy Teen-Operated Thrill Ride” that takes place in front of an 80-foot-tall screen. The premise, dense and ironic enough to please devotees of the FOX series, punctures Orlando itself: You join Homer’s clan at Krustyland, a greedy theme park, on a roller coaster that’s sabotaged by the evil Sideshow Bob (voiced by Kelsey Grammer). During the dizzyingly fast-paced 6 minutes, you zoom through predicaments that mock the theme park world, including skewers of Shamu, Pirates of the Caribbean, and “it’s a small world.” Add to that a giant killer panda bear and an extra layer of heightened sensory (like the whiff of baby powder—well, it makes sense when you ride). It’s not too rough, but dehydrated people find it vaguely nauseating, and your brain may hurt from absorbing all the jokes. The queue area is so tongue in cheek and gag-packed that waiting is half the fun: Itchy and Scratchy furnish the gory safety warning and Krusty dispenses safety instructions such as “Wait here until someone comes and tells you to do something.” Seats are four across, so families can ride together.

Kang & Kodos’ Twirl ’n’ Hurl RIDE    Universal finally got its Dumbo ride. Here, silly slobbering aliens trick you into boarding a day-glow flying saucer (fitting two adults or one adult and two kids): “Please remain seated until the very end of the ride. You will know the ride has ended when your vehicle comes to a complete stop, or you have been eaten…I didn’t just say that.” As you rotate gently around, Dumbo-style, you use a joystick to pass in front of tentacle-shaped poles, triggering sounds of exclamation from the citizens of Springfield. Spoiler: You don’t get eaten.

Hollywood

This Art Deco drag is a particularly good place to meet characters (Gru, Woody Woodpecker, the Men in Black) at odd times.

Universal Horror Make-Up Show SHOW    Learn how horror-movie makeup effects are accomplished in this terrific, 25-minute tongue-in-cheek exposé, conducted by a nerdy type in his workshop and his straight-man emcee. On paper, that seems like the kind of thing you might otherwise skip, but in truth park regulars love its wit and playful edge. For ribald ad-libbing and gross-out humor, the park suggests parental guidance for this one, but I find that most kids have heard it all before, and it’s certainly true that seeing terrifying movie gore exposed as the make-believe it is can be a good reality check. Times are printed on your park map, and you can’t get in once the show starts. Even if you skip it, there’s something to see in the lobby: exhibits about great horror characters and make-up artists.

Terminator 2: 3-D SHOW/FILM    Although the 12-minute film portion, a sort of minisequel to “Terminator 2,” was made by extravagant director James Cameron with all his original stars (including Ah-nold and Linda Hamilton), it’s hardly just another movie. It’s got three screens, six 8-foot robots, gunfire, smoke bombs, and motorcyclists that seamlessly dive in and out of the filmed action. The film cost $60 million to make, which when it was produced in 1996 qualified it as the most expensive movie, per minute, in history, trumping Disney’s equally bombastic “Captain EO.” Strategy: This edgy, cynical show splits the eardrums with romping, stomping mayhem, so keep small children away unless they’re hard cases. Those in the front rows will have to pivot their heads to see all the action.

Lucy: A Tribute ACTIVITY    Too overlooked is this one-room, walk-through exhibition of Lucille Ball memorabilia. Ever seen an Emmy? There are five, plus a Kennedy Center Honor and a model of the “I Love Lucy” set. Bet you didn’t know it was painted black and white to look good on TV.

Woody Woodpecker’s Kidzone

This is my pick for the best children’s theme park playground area in Orlando. I’ve heard tales of 6-year-olds who threatened self-orphanization if they were dragged away within 4 hours. There’s a ton to do, not least of which is SpongeBob StorePants, dedicated to merchandise and appearances by the absorbent doofus.

Animal Actors on Location! SHOW    A troupe of trained dogs, cats, birds, and a horse anchor this charming 20-minute show (times are noted on the sign). Placing this show here was inspired, because small children get a thrill out of seeing common animals do tricks, and as a consequence, it’s popular. Because it’s in an amphitheater, you can also sneak out in the middle if you need to. But if you see only one emphatically punctuated household-pets-doing-cute-tricks-to-jaunty-music theme park show, make it SeaWorld’s superior Pets Ahoy!

E.T. Adventure RIDE    Based on the 1982 Steven Spielberg movie, this endearingly weird indoor ride is rightfully in the kiddie area because it’s not intense and the plot cannot tolerate scrutiny by a fully developed brain. Upon entering, guests supply their name to an attendant, who encodes the information on a pass you hand over when you board the ride. The indoor queue area is a fabulous reproduction of a thick, cool California forest at night. Vehicles are suspended from rails to approximate the sensation of cruising in a flock of bikes, and they sweep and scoop across the moonrise and even through gardens on E.T.’s home planet (remember, he was a botanist), where a menagerie of goofy-looking aliens, who miraculously speak English, have a party and greet us from the sidelines. At the climax, a grateful E.T. is supposed to call out your name as you fly home—hence those boarding passes—but in all my years of doing this ride, E.T. has spouted gibberish, so don’t get your hopes up unless your name is Pfmkmpftur. Strategy: If the queue looks dense from the outside, return later—before park closing seems to be a charmed time for quick waits—since there are still more lineups indoors. In the Toy Closet, you’ll find E.T. souvenirs. His “Talk to the Hand” T-shirt is perhaps a milestone in bad taste.

Fievel’s Playland ACTIVITY    Named for the hero of “An American Tail” (an obscure kiddie reference, and another ’80s Spielberg movie), it’s the most spectacular of several playgrounds in Kidzone. The concept is that your kids have been shrunk down to a mouse’s size, and they’re playing among giant everyday items like sardine cans and eyeglasses. They’ll discover slides, nets, and tubes, but my favorite element is the easy water slide on a raft—so yes, make sure your kids have their swimsuits on. The ground is covered with that newfangled soft foam that all the modern playgrounds have. When I was a boy, we got concussions instead.

A Day in the Park with Barney SHOW    The small indoor area that can be accessed through its own gift shop (plush Barney, $17), is technically the postshow area for a singalong show. The doors close at the start and stay closed until the ordeal is over. Frankly, being locked in a room with that sappy purple dinosaur and all those screaming babies constitutes a chamber of horrors for me, but little ones find it enthralling. Parents can find Duff Beer in Springfield nearby, if that helps. The play area mimics Barney’s backyard with a waist-high counter for sifting through sand (so it won’t get into shoes), a tree equipped with little slides, and a chance to have your picture taken with (and then buy it from) Barney the Capitalist Dinosaur.

Woody Woodpecker’s Nuthouse Coaster RIDE    Kids can plainly see every drop before they commit to this straightforward thriller. It has no unpleasant surprises, unless you count hearing Woody’s pecker as you go, and a run time of less than a minute.

Curious George Goes to Town ACTIVITY    Welcome to the water playground that stole your child. This frenetic splash area is teeming with squealing children and positively soaked with streams of water from every direction—from squirt cannons, fountains, geysers, and, most importantly, from two 500-gallon buckets that, every 7 minutes, sound a warning bell and then drench anyone beneath them. The immoderate, virtually orgiastic scene is ringed by a perimeter of dry parents keeping an eye on their suddenly wild offspring. I enjoy joining them, because watching the children cheer and scamper when they hear the clang of the bucket’s warning bell, and then watching them momentarily vanish in the deluge, is endlessly heartwarming. Through the wet area (there’s a dry bypass corridor to it on the left) is the dry Ball Factory, where kids suck up plastic balls with light vacuums, pack them into bags, and then fire them at each other with weak cannons. It’s not marked on the maps.

Where to Eat at Universal Studios

In addition to the random snack carts (including carts selling goliath turkey legs with chips for $11), there are counter-service and table-service restaurants in the park. None require reservations the way Disney’s do. Kids’ meals all come in under 300 calories. Tip: Meals do not have to come with side dishes. The potato chip bags served hold a mere 17⁄8 ounces. Ask to subtract chips or fries from your meal deals and you’ll save about $2. Cups good for unlimited refills at touchscreen Coke Freestyle machines, which mix soda to order using 126 flavors, cost $12 and are good for the day. Cups for standard beverages are $10 with $1 refills. Remember: Restaurants at CityWalk (p. 157) are a 5-minute walk from the park, so they’re also options.

Classic Monsters Café AMERICAN    Indoor counter service on a nonscary B-movie set with some healthy options, such as rotisserie chicken with mashed potatoes and broccoli, wedge salad, double cheeseburgers, and ribs. Production Central. Combo meal $8 to $16.

Finnegan’s Bar & Grill IRISH/BRITISH    A sit-down, Irish-style pub good for a beer break, particularly after 3pm when a guitar singer performs. Scotch eggs ($6), split pea–and-ham soup ($5), Irish Cobb salad (it has corned beef), and bangers and mash are the kind of good things available, plus good strong ales. Park workers pick this place when they’re off-duty. New York. Mains $11 to $22.

Louie’s Italian Restaurant ITALIAN    Straightforward counter service near The Mummy. New York. Slices $6, meatball subs $10.

San Francisco Pastry Company SANDWICHES    This lightly trafficked counter-service bakery across from Disaster!, does sandwiches and loaded croissants in addition to cakes and pastries, and healthier fruit plates and salads. San Francisco. Sandwiches $9.30, salads from $3.70.

Lombard’s Seafood Grille SEAFOOD/AMERICAN    An excellent, relaxing table-service choice that is surprisingly affordable: Fish tacos are $13, just three bucks more than a Quick Service meal, and other fish dishes, including the fish of the day, such as grouper, are in the mid-teens. Splashing fountains serenade, fish tanks adorn the dining room, and you can sit outside on the water if you like. Special diet options, such as quinoa with portobello mushroom, are well marked, and you can even get gluten-free table rolls. San Francisco. Main courses $13 to $20.

Richter’s Burger Co. AMERICAN    A warehouselike dockside option that slings stacked burgers, marinated grilled chicken sandwiches, and for those weary of the greasy side of the plate, salads with grilled chicken. Periodically, the dining area rumbles (but doesn’t move) to simulate quakes. Get the Aftershock double burger for $11 and an extra bun for $1 and you can feed two using the fixin’s bar. San Francisco. Main courses $9 to $12 with fries.

The Leaky Cauldron BRITISH    The fare at Diagon Alley’s counter-service location is not mystical at all. It’s plentiful and true to an English pub, serving British staples such as beef and Guinness stew, cottage or fisherman’s pie, and banger (sausage) sandwiches. The ploughman’s lunch for two ($20) has three types of cheese and Branston pickle, and although it’s not on the menu, they’ll do it for one for $10. Also get Butterbeer, Fishy Green Ale, and other Potter potables here. Mains $9–$15.

Fast Food Boulevard AMERICAN    This mouthy indoor food court serves mostly standard food renamed with inside jokes and witticisms that puncture American culture. You could spend half your lunchtime just laughing at the dishes. Krusty Burger serves “meat sandwiches” such as the high-stacked double-bacon Clogger Burger with cheez sauce and curly fries and 6-inch Heat Lamp Dogs. The Frying Dutchman does Basket O’ Bait fried fish and Clam Chowd-arr ($4). At the Luigi’s Pizza area, get slices of Meat Liker’s Pizza, and at Cletus’ Chicken Shack, dig into the not-very-appetizing-but-accurate Chicken Arms (wings), Chicken Thumbs (tenders), and chicken-and-waffle sandwiches. Lastly, Lisa’s Teahouse of Horror cuts out the clots with a cooler full of straight-up salads and wraps. You can also buy only-at-Universal treats such as Lard Lad Donuts (the platter-size Big Pink, coated with frosting, $5—a life-size Chief Wiggum figure enjoys one nearby) and Buzz Cola (no-calorie cherry cola). Springfield. Outside and across the way, there’s the Bumblebee Man’s Taco Truck, which closes by dinnertime. Main courses $8 to $14.

Moe’s Tavern BAR    A spot-on re-creation of Moe’s, down to team pennants for the Isotopes and the purple TV on the wall, only without sleazy service by Moe. There is, however, a life-size Barney by the bar, ruefully contemplating his empty mug. Duff Beer is specially brewed for the park (in generous servings of regular, Lite, or Dry, $7–$8), but the kid-friendly specialty is a Flaming Moe’s ($9), a nonalcoholic orange-flavored soda in a cup rigged with pellets that make it bubble and smoke (it’s hard to breathe when you’re sipping it). Springfield. Beverages $7 to $9.

   The Universal Meal Deal

In both its parks, Universal offers a simple meal plan. Dubbed the Universal Meal Deal, it entitles you to one main plate, one nonalcoholic beverage, and one snack, which can be used for ice cream, frozen beverages, and more. Adults pay $20 and kids $13; it only pays off if you were going to get that dessert anyway. Resort guests may avail themselves of a Dining Plan, good for one table-service meal, one quick-service meal, and a snack for $52 adults, $18 kids each day. The value is borderline, especially if you would ordinarily never have a table-service meal.

Kid Zone Pizza Company PIZZA    Outdoor-only counter service for chicken fingers and fries, chef salad, and of course, pizza. It’s the biggest food option near the children’s play areas. Woody Woodpecker’s Kidzone. Mains $8 to $10.

Mel’s Drive-In AMERICAN    A ’50s-style counter-service diner where fare leans toward chicken, burgers, and shakes. Air-conditioned seating has a view of the Lagoon. Hollywood. Main courses $8 to $11.

Café La Bamba BARBECUE    Its warren of dining rooms can make for a cool escape, but this chicken-and-ribs counter service location is only open in peak periods. Hollywood. Thurs–Sat, it’s the location of the Superstar Character Breakfast ($26 adults, $13 kids 3–9). Mains $11 to $16.

Beverly Hills Boulangerie SANDWICHES    An uncrowded choice for a reasonably healthy meal: sandwiches (turkey, roast beef, tuna) with potato salad and fruit. It does a soup-and-salad combo for $8. Hollywood. Sandwiches with sides $10.

Islands of Adventure

Islands of Adventure (IOA) usually opens at 9am. In winter months, operating hours will end at around 6pm but in summer, they’re often open to as late as 10pm. After you park ($15 and up), open your bags for inspection, take the moving sidewalks to CityWalk, and veer to the left, toward the 130-foot Pharos Lighthouse (it’s just for show), you finally reach IOA. If you doubt whether your kids are tall enough to ride everything, there’s a gauge listing requirements before the ticket booths.

ORIENTATION    IOA’s 101 acres are laid out much like Epcot’s World Showcase: individually themed areas (here, called “islands,” even though they’re not) arranged around a lagoon (called the Great Inland Sea). To see everything, you simply follow a great circle. The only corridor into the park, Port of Entry, borrows from the Magic Kingdom’s Main Street, U.S.A., in that it’s a narrow, introductory area where guests are submerged into the theme. In this case, you’re gathering munitions for a “great odyssey,” so, in theme park logic, it’s where you do things like rent strollers and lockers and grab free maps. Most guests beeline through Port of Entry. Because attraction lines are shortest after opening, explore this area later, maybe before closing.

STRATEGY    Once you reach the end of Port of Entry, which way should you go? Right. That’s the way to Harry Potter. Lines peak in late morning and early afternoon, then taper off again after that, but they’re rarely short.

SHOPPING    The park will send your souvenirs to the Islands of Adventure Trading Company, at the Port of Entry, for collection as you leave the park at the end of the day. The deadline for purchases changes, but it’s usually about 2 hours before closing. To the right as you exit the park, there’s a small stand selling marked-down items (the inventory changes, but I’ve seen $8 Marvel action figures, two-for-ones on plush Curious George dolls, and $40 sweatshirts for $22). It opens later in the day.

Marvel Super Hero Island

If Disney owns Marvel, how come Universal is allowed to have this island? The park licensed the brand in the 1990s, which gives it the right. Designs used the comic books of that period, which predates the film franchises of Spider-Man, the X-Men, Iron Man, and Fantastic Four, which is why characters don’t look exactly the way you may be used to them. Spider-Man is sometimes one of them, but if you don’t see him, head into the back of the Marvel Alterniverse Store, opposite the Captain America Diner. There, the hero has his own appearance zone where you can take your own photos (or buy one). The actor playing Spider-Man is one of the few who isn’t clad in muscle-shaped padding—for the frank cling of his bodysuit, admiring members of the park’s staff usually aren’t far away. The Comic Book Shop is worth a stop. Surprisingly legit, the store carries the latest Marvel issues, compilation books, and collectible busts.

Incredible Hulk Coaster RIDE    Every minute or so, a new train blasts out of the 150-foot tunnel, over the avenue, and across the lakefront. Adding to the intensity, the track’s hollow frame and nylon wheels generate an animal roar that can be heard throughout the park. The $15 million ride is quick—a little over 2 minutes—but it’s invigorating. First, trains cruise into the inclined tunnel. Then, without warning, 220 aircraft tires accelerate trains from a standstill to 40mph in 2 seconds and shoot them into a zero G-force barrel-roll 110 feet in the air, which means passengers are already upside down even though they’re still going up the first hill. What follows is unbridled mayhem, as you boomerang in a cobra roll and hit a top speed of 67mph through a tangle of corkscrews, loops, and misty tunnels. For many visitors, it’s the first ride of the day, and its seven inversions are certain to work better than morning coffee. Loose items aren’t allowed, so use the nearby lockers, good for the ride’s posted wait time plus 20 minutes. Strategy: The single-rider line here is fruitful. A separate queue forms near the loading dock for the front row, but if you’re low on time, wait instead for the front row on Dueling Dragons, where the exposed view gets you a lot more thrills. If you plan on buying a photo of your group on the ride, make sure you’re all seated in the same line because shots are taken row by row.

Storm Force Accelatron RIDE    I can translate: Storm is the weather-controlling X-Man, so an Accelatron must be a 90-second spinning-tub ride, like Disney’s teacups. Open, round cars spin on platters that themselves are on a giant rotating disk, and just to ensure maximum vomit velocity, each pod can be spun using a plate in the middle. Strategy: This ride is skippable unless you have insistent kids.

Dr. Doom’s Fearfall RIDE    Those twin 200-foot towers are fitted with rows of chairs that slide up and down them. The brave are rocketed 150 feet up at a force of 4Gs, where they feel an intense tickling in their stomachs, soak up a terrific view of the park, and bounce (safely) back down to Earth. The ride capacity is pretty low—you can see for yourself that each tower only shoots about 16 people up on each trip, with a reload period of several minutes in between—so either do this one early or very late so that waiting for it doesn’t eat up too much time. You may hear the towers hiss like a snarling beast—it sounds like a Doctor Doom sound effect, but, in fact, it’s part of the mechanism. A computer weighs each car before launch, and any excess compressed air is noisily expelled in the seconds before flight. Strategy: The seating configuration lends itself to lots of empty spaces, so the single-rider line moves much quicker than most.

Islands of Adventure

The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man RIDE    The cliché “don’t miss it” rightfully applies here. It fires on all cylinders, and the whole family can do it without fear. After passing through a simulation of the “Daily Bugle” newsroom (take special notice of the hilarious preride safety video, done as a pitch-perfect “Superfriends”-era cartoon), riders don polarized 3-D glasses, board moving cars, and whisk through a 1.5-acre experience. Mild open-air motion simulation, computer-generated 3-D animation, and a cunning sense trickery (bursts of flame, water droplets, blasts of hot air) collaborate to impart the mind-blowing illusion of being drafted into Spidey’s battles against a “Sinister Syndicate” of supervillains including Doctor Octopus and the Green Goblin, who have disassembled the Statue of Liberty with an anti-gravity gun. Although the vehicles barely move as they make their way through the sets, you’ll come off feeling as if you’ve survived a 400-foot plunge off a city skyscraper. Comics fans should keep a lookout for Spider-Man creator Stan Lee. He appears four times during the ride, and you’ll hear him once. Strategy: Go early or late in the day to minimize waits. There’s sometimes a single-rider line and it shoots past the slower standby queue. The middle of the front row is debatably the best place to sit.

Toon Lagoon

The next zone clockwise after Marvel Super Hero Island, Toon Lagoon, harbors two waters rides that are—both literally and figuratively—among the splashiest at any theme park. Both of them will drench you. If you’re smart, you’ll come just before it swelters, so that you’ll be soaked and cool when the going gets rough.

Slow your pace when you reach the introductory section of Toon Lagoon, encountered after a brief zone of midway games (most: three tries for $5). Crawling with details, color, and fountains, it’s the kind of place that reveals more the longer you look. Some 150 cartoon characters—some you’ll recognize (Nancy, Annie, the Family Circus, Beetle Bailey) and some strictly for connoisseurs (Little Nemo in Slumberland, Zippy)—make two-dimensional appearances on the island, including inside the restaurants and on a soundtrack popping in and out of the action. Where you see a button or a possible trigger, press it or plunge it, because the environment has been rigged with sonic treats. Whimsical snapshot spots are worked in, too, such as the trick photo setup by the Comic Strip Cafe where you can pretend Marmaduke is dragging you by his leash. The deluge from the waterfall under Hagar’s Viking ship provides cooling relief from the sunlight. Amidst all this, the Boop Oop A Doop Betty Boop store sells rare specimens. My sister-in-law found a 75th-anniversary cookie jar here that no other real-world store carried. Personally, I worry about the mental health of the clerks, who are subjected to a brain-melting loop of Boop’s oops.

Dudley Do-Right’s Ripsaw Falls RIDE    Within this Technicolor snow-capped mountain, you’ll find a wonderful perils-of-Pauline log-flume caper featuring Jay Ward’s feckless Canadian Mountie bungling his rescue of Nell Fenwick from Snidely Whiplash. The winding 5-minute journey—ups, downs, indoor, outdoor, surprise backsplashes, chunky robotic characters—climaxes in a stomach-juggling double-dip drop that hurtles, unexpectedly, through a humped underground gully. Although the 75-foot drop starts out at 45 degrees, it steepens to 50 degrees, creating a weightless sensation. Front- and back-seat riders get soaked, and anyone who didn’t get soaked probably will when they double back to the disembarking zone, because that’s when they’ll face the gauntlet of sadistic bystanders who fire water cannons at passing boats. Ripsaw Falls is terrific fun. No one gets off it grumpy—the mark of amusement success. Tips: The ride often closes in January and early February for a scrub. There’s an optional locker nearby—use it, because there’s no boat storage. It’s $4 for 90 minutes, which may allow you to also use it for Popeye & Bluto’s barges. The Gasoline Alley shop, across the main path, sells $8 ponchos, but on Ripsaw Falls, you straddle the seat so your feet won’t be easy to cover. Best to wear sandals.

   The Best of Islands of Adventure

Don’t miss if you’re 6: The Cat in the Hat

Don’t miss if you’re 16: The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man, Dragon Challenge

Requisite photo op: Hogwarts Castle

Food you can only get here: Butterbeer, Hogsmeade

The most crowded, so go early: Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey

Skippable: Pteranodon Flyers

Biggest thrill: Incredible Hulk Coaster

Best show: Poseidon’s Fury

Where to find peace: On the lagoon in Jurassic Park

Popeye & Bluto’s Bilge-Rat Barges RIDE    For my money, it’s the best round-boat flume in the world because it’s fun watching your loved ones get humiliated. You board 12-passenger, circular bumper boats that float freely and unpredictably down an outlandish white-water obstacle course—beneath waterfalls, through tunnels, over angry rapids, and past features designed to mercilessly inundate you. It’s like playing Russian roulette with water, and everyone loses. This journey is considerably wilder, unquestionably wetter, and obviously more expensive to build than any others in the genre. The attention shows: Even the river’s walls have been sculpted and painted in cartoon hues to resemble a wooden chute. It’s diabolical and one of Universal’s best. Strategy: There’s a semiwaterproof cubby on board for personal belongings, but you’d be wise to slip your things into plastic bags, too, just in case. You may not go barefoot. For onlooker schadenfreude, there are 25¢ water blasters on overlooking walkways, but there are free ones on Me Ship, the Olive. Near the lockers ($4 for 90 min., which may be long enough use to use for Ripsaw Falls, too), you’ll find step-in People Dryers that, for $5, bake and blow the water off you after your journey. (That works well, except on jeans.)

Me Ship, the Olive ACTIVITY    An interactive ship-shaped playground for children just beyond the Barges’ entrance, there’s also a slide and some fun to be had with a piano in the cabin (play the notes on the sheet music for an orchestral surprise). One of my favorite things to do in Orlando is to spend awhile on the bridge beside the Olive, which overlooks Barge boats as they drift helplessly under a leaky boiler’s funnel. Watching the gleeful alarm on people’s faces, hearing the peals of laughter—the sublime delight of amusement park togetherness is repeated, again and again, from the vantage point of that bridge. I could stand there all day. I also love the shore of the sea nearby, which is private almost all the time.

Jurassic Park

Steven Spielberg was a creative consultant to Universal, the studio that nourished him, and this “island,” the largest and greenest in the park, is presented practically verbatim from his 1993 movie. Once you pass through a proud wooden gate, John Williams’ bombastic score becomes audible, and there it burrows until you move on to another area of IOA. When the park opened, the big boast was that all of the plants in this section were extant during the period of the dinosaurs, but it seems that’s no longer the case. Still, the area has some 4,000 trees—half the number in the whole park—and if you stand quietly, you may hear rustling among some of them—a clever, Spielbergian touch.

Camp Jurassic ACTIVITY    The only dedicated kids’ zone of this part of the park is a self-guided tangle of rope bridges, slides, bubbling pools in caves, surprise geysers, water guns, spitting dinosaur heads, and thick greenery. It’s easy to get lost here, and easier to get wet.

Pteranodon Flyers RIDE    The hanging carts gently gliding on the nifty-looking track over Camp Jurassic constitute a very short (about 75 sec.) clacking route through the trees. Cool as it looks, it was poorly designed, fitting only two at a time, and huge lines are inevitable. In the business, that’s called a poor “load factor.” Facing irate crowds, Universal instituted a rule: No adult could ride without a child. That both prepared guests for the ride’s tame deportment and cut down on the wait. Attendants may be willing to load child-free adults when the park is dead. Strategy: Skip this underwhelmer if the wait’s more than 15 minutes.

Jurassic Park River Adventure RIDE    In that family-friendly Orlando tradition, the worst drop is clearly warned from the outside; gauge the 85-foot descent from behind the Thunder Falls Terrace restaurant, where river boats kick up quite a spray when they hit the water at 30mph. Before reaching that messy climax, boats embark on what’s meant to be a benign tour of the mythical dinosaur park from the movie, only to be bumped off course and run afoul of spitting raptors and an eye-poppingly realistic T. rex who lunges for the kill. The dino attack is shrewdly stage-managed; note how, in true Spielberg fashion, you see disquieting evidence of the hungry lizards (rustling bushes, gashes in sheet metal) before actually catching sight of one. There’s no logic as to which passengers will get drenched. In all honesty, you’re much more likely to get soaked standing on the terrace of the restaurant than you are inside the boat, but the trip down is enough to blow your hat off. There’s usually a delirious 12-year-old boy who stands in the splash zone for hours, giving himself a nigh-amphibious drenching.

Jurassic Park Discovery Center ACTIVITY    Enter a convincing reproduction of the luxury lodge from the film, down to full-size skeletons in the atrium—downstairs, line up your camera just so, and you can snap a witty shot of a T. rex chomping a loved one’s cranium. Hilarity with carnivores! Also seek out the scientist carrying a baby triceratops that hatched on the grounds; it flinches and reacts to your touch. You can also handle the ostrich-sized dinosaur eggs and slide them into nifty “scanners.” Behind the center, there’s a network of pleasant garden paths where you can take a break from the bustle of the park and chill out beside the lagoon.

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter—Hogsmeade

When it opened in June of 2010, the 10-acre Hogsmeade was rightfully hailed as the most significant achievement in American theme park design, detailed down to the souvenirs. It’s as if the film set for Hogsmeade Village (the only British village for non-Muggles) and Hogwarts Castle have been transported to Florida, and indeed, it was designed by the same team. You don’t have to know the books or the movies to enjoy the astounding level of attention: Stonework looks ancient, plaster was painted to appear moldy, rooftops and chimneys slouch in a jumble of snow-covered gables, and nearly every souvenir is a bespoke creation expressly for the Harry Potter universe. Even the restrooms aren’t spared Moaning Myrtle’s whine. Spend time going from shop window to shop window to take in the tricks. In Spintwitches Sporting Needs, a Quidditch set strains to free itself from its carrying case. At Gladrags, the gown levitates. At Tomes and Scrolls, Gilderoy Lockhart (Kenneth Branagh) vainly preens himself among his best-selling travel books.

Those stores are brilliant facades, but there are real shops that are just as unmissable (and invariably thronged). Devish and Banges is where you find Hogwarts school supplies in the colors of all four Houses, from capes to scarves to diaries to parchment, wax seals, and quills. (The seething “Monster Book of Monsters” is kept in a cage here.) In the window of Honeydukes, there’s a macabre contraption in which a mechanical crow pecks out the gumball eye of a skeleton, which rolls through various chutes to be dispensed below, presumably for consumption. That signifies the wondrous candy store within, where colorful Edwardian-style packages contain Chocolate Frogs (they’re solid, not hollow, but they’ll still melt in the Florida heat), Fizzing Whizzbees, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans (beware the vomit-flavored ones mixed in), Exploding Bon Bons, Peppermint Toads, and other confections that would faze even Willy Wonka.

The park’s signature concoction, Butterbeer, is pulled from two keg-shaped carts in the walkways. The only place in the world you can buy it is right here or at the Harry Potter Studio Tour outside of London. Served frozen or unfrozen (I like it cold) with a creamy foam head on top, it tastes like a butterscotch Life Saver, and it’s addictive. I once did laboratory analysis on it and found out that, surprisingly, it contains no more sugar than a Coke. It’s $5 a cup, but for $12, you get a dishwasher-safe Butterbeer mug. The Magic Neep cart, between the Butterbeer stalls, sells Pumpkin Juice (really a Christmasy apple juice mix) in its unique pumpkin-top bottles for $7, along with actual fruit for $1.70 a piece.

Ollivanders SHOW    It’s not on the maps because it can’t handle big crowds, but the queue to the left of Dervish and Banges is for Ollivanders Wand Shop, stacked haphazardly to the dusty rafters with wands for every wizard. You enter in small groups, and the kindly shopkeeper selects one child from the group for a personalized wand selection—it selects you—accompanied by music cues and some fun tricks. Wickedly, an attendant then ushers your child, and that wand, directly toward the cash registers in the wand department at Devish and Banges, where you can also buy perfect replicas from nearly every major character of the Harry Potter universe (mostly $45), from Harry to Hermione to Snape to Voldemort to Bellatrix Lestrange to Luna Lovegood. They don’t have price tags, but they do have stickers reading, preposterously, “This is not a toy.” Treat them with care. Some are sturdy, but some, such as Professor McGonagall’s, can break. Tip: If the line is too long, there are three more wand showrooms at Ollivanders on Diagon Alley at Universal Studios next door.

Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey RIDE    You will be drawn inexorably to the stunning re-creation of Hogwarts Castle, and within, you’ll find a most technologically complex ride. I won’t give away how it’s done, but I will say it’s an epic combination of motion-simulator movie segments and awe-inducing physical encounters as you travel on a jolting, four-person bench that has been enchanted by Hermione to transport you. This being Orlando, things quickly go wrong, and you encounter a dragon, Aragog the spider, the Whomping Willow, a Quidditch match, and Dementors, all in the space of 4 minutes. The mostly indoor queue is perhaps even more magical, taking you through Dumbledore’s study and through the dim halls of Hogwarts, where real-looking oil paintings come to life and bicker with each other. At one point, fake snow falls on you, and a lifelike Sorting Hat supervises your arrival at the loading dock. It’s a tour-de-force that takes the pain out of a long wait, and sometimes there’s a tour-only route that lets you enjoy it without having to ride (ask). Once you’re done, you go through Filch’s Emporium of Confiscated Goods, a general-interest shop for Potteria. Tip: You’ll save much frustration if you don’t have bags. No loose articles are permitted. Lockers are free for the posted wait time plus 20 minutes, but using them is confusing. The single rider line lets you leapfrog much of the wait but you will miss most of the queue’s excitement. A minority of people feel queasy after riding, but if you sense that happening, just close your eyes during the three movie portions and you should be fine.

Dragon Challenge RIDE    This is a monster coaster of the first order, and one of Orlando’s most thrilling, but it’s not very Hogsmeade because it’s actually a holdover from the pre-Potter years. Actually, it’s two roller coasters, “inverted” so that passengers’ feet dangle, entangled together for two different 145-second rides. Hungarian Horntail, in blue, has a cobra roll and its twistiness is perhaps (who can say?) more conducive to slight motion sickness for those who are prone to it. Chinese Fireball, in red-orange, has two more “elements” (maneuvers, in coaster-speak), and its first drop is slightly higher, but its course is slightly more jolty. The line for both snakes indoors through a castle before diverging before the twin loading zones, at which point you’ll also have to decide if you want to wait longer to guarantee a front-row seat. The trains were designed to be dispatched together for near-misses on the course, but because naughty guests dropped loose items, seriously injuring others, that practice was ended. Strategy: The effect is best enjoyed from the front row or by keeping an eye on your feet. After you get off, ask an attendant if the “re-ride” line is up, because if it is, you won’t have to go all the way out to line up again to try the other track. Note that guests of exceptional size may have to wait for the third row, where the larger seats are; if you’re not confident that you’ll fit, test out the standard seat located to the right of the main entrance to the queue. Locker use (free for the wait time plus 20 min.) is mandatory, and you’ll find them at Hogsmeade Station.

Flight of the Hippogriff RIDE    For kids too little for Dragon Challenge, you’ll find a standard training roller coaster (also a rethemed holdover from pre-Potter years) that offers a glimpse of Hagrid’s Hut from the queue. Don’t expect more than a 1-minute figure eight with slight banking. The line is often exposed to the sun and the back seats feel the fastest. The long-legged should cross their ankles to fit more comfortably.

Hogwarts Express RIDE    The journey from Hogsmeade to London in Universal Studios works just like the one coming here (p. 110), but you’ll see different scenery and eavesdrop on different goings-on in the carriage. Hogsmeade Station is not as nice as Kings Cross at Diagon Alley—there’s no AC and no fun tricks like the Platform 93⁄4 photo op—but trains carry 168 people at a time and new ones arrive just 3 minutes after the previous one departs. To board, you must have a park-to-park ticket, and there’s a ticket upgrade booth out front for just that purpose.

The Lost Continent

The gist of the next island, the Lost Continent, is amorphous. Think of it as part Africa, part Asia, part Rome—anything exotic wrapped up in vagueness. It’s being whittled away as Harry Potter grows.

The Eighth Voyage of Sindbad Stunt Show SHOW    Mounted a precious few times each day in an open-air stadium, usually in the afternoon (curtain times are marked on your map), it’s fine for a stunt show, but it won’t rock your world. You probably already suspect what you’re getting here—a corny 20-minute, sound-effect enhanced banquet of macho men sword fighting and leaping in the pursuit of rescuing a princess who, it turns out, may or may not require male assistance after all. Buckles are swashed and cultural references are dropped like anvils. The climax, in which a man is lit on fire and plunges 30 feet into a pit, may alarm kids, but the production values are strong. Strategy: Attend this show if you’d like to sit for a while. Your IOA experience won’t be lacking if you skip it.

Mystic Fountain ACTIVITY    Stop by briefly. If it’s merely gurgling with recorded sound effects, all is quiet. But when least expected, it comes to life with wisecracks and sprays. Someone in an unseen booth interacts with anyone foolish enough to wander near—usually naïve children. As “Time” magazine put it when the park opened in 1999, the fountain exasperates with “the droll sarcasm of a bachelor uncle roped into caring for some itchy 10-year-olds.” If you don’t want to get doused, check the ground for slick spots to determine the fountain’s spitting reach.

Poseidon’s Fury SHOW    Despite its lowly status as a walk-through attraction, it has a stunning exterior, carved within a millimeter of reason to look like a crumbling temple. Young folk might be freaked out by the dark and the fireballs. Mature folk might disdain the vapid storyline involving a row between Poseidon and Lord Darkenon (who?). But it bemuses with an interesting (if fleeting) “water vortex” tunnel and some of its other special effects, such as walls that seem to vanish, are diverting. Like Sindbad, it’s boisterous and pyrotechnic. Strategy: For the best views, head for the front of every room, especially the third one.

Seuss Landing

Nowhere other than Harry Potter is IOA’s extravagance on finer display than this 10-acre section, which replicates the good Doctor’s two-dimensional bluster with three-dimensional exactitude. Just try to find a straight line. From the lakefront, you can get a good look at what the designers accomplished. Notice how even the palm trees twist. They were knocked sideways near Miami in 1992’s Hurricane Andrew, and because palm trees always grow upward, by the time they were scouted for IOA, they had acquired a perfectly loopy angle. Scout for hidden gags. Sprinkled around are Horton’s Egg and, by the sea, the two Zaxes, which appropriate to their own book (a commentary on political rivalry in which they stubbornly face off while a city grows up around them), were the very first things placed in the park, and everything else was built around them. The area around the Mulberry Street Store hosts regular appearances by the Cat in the Hat and the Grinch, who looks as annoyed to be there as you might imagine.

High in the Sky Seuss Trolley Train Ride! RIDE    Everything on this island is appropriate for kids. The railway threading overhead is a cheerful family-friendly glide, narrated in verse. Like Dueling Dragons, there are two paths. The purple line surveys more of the area than the green line, which dawdles above the Circus McGurkus Cafe. The ride takes about 3 minutes and because there’s so much to take in, time flies fast. You have to line up all over again if you want to do the other track.

Caro-Seuss-el RIDE    Its bobbing menagerie of otherworldly critters actually reacts to being ridden—ears wiggle, heads turn, snouts rise—making it delightfully over-the-top and appealing to kids who sniff at girly carousels. Beside the Caro-Seuss-el, seek out the quick but trenchant walk-through grove of Truffula Trees retelling Dr. Seuss’ environmental warning tale, the Street of the Lifted Lorax.

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish RIDE    Here we have another iteration (albeit a good one) of Disney’s tot bait, Dumbo. Riders (two passengers per car normally, three if one of them loves the Wiggles) go around, up, and down by their own controls while a gauntlet of spitting fish pegs them from the sides—listen to the song for the secret of how to avoid getting wet, although the advice isn’t foolproof. There are benches good for watching little kids giggle malevolently when their parents get spritzed.

If I Ran the Zoo ACTIVITY    Getting wet is part of the bargain, so there’s a rack to keep shoes dry. The interactive playground for young children contains some 20 tricksy elements. Let your brood slide, splash in a stream, turn cranks, and play Tic Tac Toe on characters’ bellies. Beware the cheeky fountain—it pays to follow all posted instructions in Seuss Landing. Thanks, Universal, for the hand sanitizer dispensers by the exit.

The Cat in the Hat RIDE    Take a nonthreatening excursion through the plot of the famous storybook as viewed from slow-moving mobile “couches” (really a typical flat-ride car). The design racks up points for replicating the look of the beloved children’s book with precision, even in three dimensions. The story is just as faithfully retold; it’s clear from this sweet, 31⁄2-minute ride that the family of Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel) had a strong influence in steering the execution of this section of the park. Parents will probably emerge feeling glad they tagged along. The gift shop after the offload platform is among the best in the park—Universal’s red Thing 1 and Thing 2 shirts ($22) are as ubiquitous as Mouse ears. Tip: The vehicles spin a few too many times for some adults (kids don’t seem to mind), but you can ask to have it turned off when you board.

Where to Eat in Islands of Adventure

If the park closes at 6pm (like it does outside the summer and holidays), many restaurants will only be open from 11am to 4pm. But remember that CityWalk (p. 157) is a 5-minute walk from the park, so you can easily consider those places, too.

In addition to the random snack carts there’s no use in listing here, there are counter-service and sit-down restaurants (including carts selling goliath turkey legs for $11) in the park. None require reservations the way Disney’s do. Kids’ meals all come in under 300 calories. Tip: Menu items do not have to be served with sides. The potato chip bags served with the posted meals hold a mere 17⁄8 ounces. Subtract them, or fries, from your meal combos to save about $2.50. Cups good for unlimited refills at touchscreen Coke Freestyle machines, which mix soda to order using 126 flavors, cost $11 and are good for the day. Clockwise through the park from Port of Entry:

Croissant Moon Bakery SANDWICHES    Lighter bites such as sandwiches and panini (with potato salad and fresh fruit), plus pastries such as cream horns and vanilla éclairs, can be snagged without much of a line. Nearby is the Last Chance Fruit Stand cart, which sells fruit cups ($3.80) and giant turkey legs ($10). Port of Entry. Sandwiches $9.50; soup and salad $12.

Confisco Grille INTERNATIONAL    One of only two table-service locations in the park, the menu has an identity crisis—wood-oven pizzas, pad Thai, penne puttanesca, Tex-Mex wraps, fajitas—but that also means there is probably something for everyone in your group. The attached Backwater Bar, overlooked by nearly everyone and therefore ideal for sundowners, does happy hour from 4 to 7pm, when well drinks are just $4. Port of Entry. Main courses $9 to $17.

Captain America Diner AMERICAN    This indoor counter-service location serves the usual burgers and chicken. Outside you’ll find a fruit stand where pieces of whole fruit cost $1.30. Marvel Super Hero Island. Main courses $8 to $11 with fries.

Cafe 4 PIZZA    Counter service with indoor seating for grabbing pasta as well as pizza by the individual pie. Marvel Super Hero Island. Pizza and pasta $7.50–$9.

Blondie’s SANDWICHES    If you know that Dagwood is another name for a hero, you’ll know who Blondie is, too. This indoor counter location does subs served with pickles and potato salad. It usually closes after lunch. Toon Lagoon. Mains $9.30.

Comic Strip Cafe INTERNATIONAL    Toon Lagoon’s largest counter-service location offers four schools of food: burgers and dogs, pizza and pasta, Chinese, and fish and chicken. There’s more indoor seating with AC here than anywhere else in this island. Toon Lagoon. Main courses $9 to $14.

Wimpy’s AMERICAN    It’s the stand that furnishes its namesake’s obsession (hamburgers), although the staff will not permit you to pay next Tuesday for a hamburger today, mostly because it opens only when the park is packed. Toon Lagoon. Main courses $8 to $11.

The Burger Digs AMERICAN    The Discovery Center’s indoor counter-service spot is upstairs, across from the dinosaur-theme toy store. Guess what it makes? There’s a toppings bar, so you can load up, and to make it easier, it serves double cheeseburgers that you can convert into two meals with a second bun ($1). Jurassic Park Discovery Center. Combo meal $9 to $11.

Pizza Predattoria AMERICAN    The menu is small but big on calories: pizzas, meatball subs, and chicken Caesar salad. It’s counter service with outdoor seating. Jurassic Park. Nearby is the Natural Selections fruit cart. Mains $8 to $10.

Thunder Falls Terrace BARBECUE    Watch the Jurassic Park boats splash down in the comfort of AC while noshing on food that’s a cut above the rest: chargrilled ribs served with whole unhusked ears of corn, rotisserie chicken, and bacon cheeseburgers. Soups are just $3.50. Jurassic Park. Meals $10 to $16.

The Watering Hole BAR    Cocktails are served al fresco from this kiosk, which throws a happy hour from 3 to 5pm and 20 ounces of beer costs $4. Jurassic Park. Cocktails mostly $6 to $8.

Three Broomsticks BARBECUE/BRITISH    The film tavern was gorgeously re-created, up to its wonky cathedral ceiling and down to the graffiti scratched in the timbers, as the only restaurant in this island, and the filmmakers reportedly liked the design so much they featured the set more prominently in later movies. The Great Feast feeds four for $50 with salad, rotisserie chicken, spareribs, corn on the cob, and roast potatoes. You can also go a la carte with shepherd’s pie, fish and chips, or Cornish pasties with salad. Hog’s Head Pub is attached. Under the squinty gaze of a grunting mounted boar’s head (it responds to tips), a selection of truly British quaffs (London Pride, Newcastle Brown, Strongbow cider) is pulled. There are two more beers of note: One is Hog’s Head ale, a hoppy, only-here beer made by the Florida Brewing Company, and the other is Butterbeer, so if the line is long at the keg carts outside, you can grab a faster fix in here, where it’s cool in more ways than one. (They won’t spike it with rum. I’ve asked.) There’s no happy hour here. Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Meals $9 to $16.

Mythos Restaurant INTERNATIONAL    Mythos’ cavelike interior, carved from that ubiquitous orange-hued fake rock that scientists should term Orlando Schist, commands a marvelous view of the lagoon (go around to the water, where few guests wander, to see the god holding the place up with his bare hands). You could sit and watch the Incredible Hulk Coaster fire all day from this subdued environment. Food many rungs higher man most theme park stuff, with pad Thai, wild mushroom meatloaf, pan seared mahimahi, and a risotto of the day, plus a healthy slate of sandwiches and salads. The Lost Continent. Reservations recommended.  407/224-4534. Main courses $11 to $20.

“Doc” Sugrue’s Desert Kebab House MEDITERRANEAN    Outdoor-only counter service spot serving its namesake in beef, chicken, and vegetables, plus hummus with veggies ($5). The Lost Continent. Main courses $7 to $9.

Fire-Eaters’ Grill INTERNATIONAL    Outdoor-only counter service with the usual suspects: chicken fingers, chicken stingers (Buffalo chicken fingers), Italian sausage, and gyros. The Lost Continent. Meals with fries $8.30 to $9.

Circus McGurkus Cafe Stoo-pendous AMERICAN    Looking like a circus tent coated in cake frosting, it serves the usual burgers and pizzas, leavened with spaghetti and meatballs; chicken Caesar salad; and a fried chicken platter with mashed potatoes and corn on the cob so there’s something for everyone. For dessert, the Moose Juice Goose Juice stand nearby sells Moose Juice (a tart orange mix) and Goose Juice (watermelon or grape) for $4.25. Meals $9 to $13.

Green Eggs & Ham Café AMERICAN    You can’t miss it—it’s the house-size slab of ham with a giant fork stuck into it. It sells burgers and, of course, sandwiches made of green eggs and ham ($7–$8), but it’s rarely open unless it’s super crowded, which is a shame. Seuss Landing. Main courses $8.

SeaWorld Orlando

The second mighty theme park chain to set up shop in town, after Disney, was SeaWorld Orlando (Central Florida Pkwy., at International Dr., or exit 71 and 72 east of I-4;  800/327-2424 or 407/351-3600; www.seaworldorlando.com; adults $95, kids 3–9 $90, discounts of $15–$30 available online for entry Mon–Fri; parking $17; open 9am–7pm with extended hours in peak season), which began in San Diego in 1964 and opened in Orlando in 1973, scarcely 2 years after the Magic Kingdom. Although SeaWorld operates three American parks (the third is in San Antonio), its Orlando location has undoubtedly risen to become its most important. The Florida compound has an additional luxury theme park, Discovery Cove (p. 136), and a new water slide park, Aquatica (p. 136). SeaWorld is now the city’s third genuine multiday theme park destination, after Disney and Universal.

At SeaWorld, the focus isn’t on thrill rides or “magic”—it’s animals, and thousands of them. Just about everything to see or do involves watching marine creatures in imitated habitats or performing in shows. Many tourists, particularly those over a certain age, claim SeaWorld as their favorite Orlando park, because there’s a lot going for it: 200 acres of space for gardens, a compound that absorbs crowds well, an earnest educational component, and a refreshing lack of patronizing mythology.

The SeaWorld experience differs from other parks in that it’s show-based. Your day here will revolve around the scheduling of a half-dozen regular performances in which animals (mostly mammals, but some birds, too) do tricks—except here, they’re called “behaviors”—with their human trainers. Although there are rides, they’re not in the true spirit of the place. SeaWorld’s banner attraction is the Shamu show, and when you’re not watching killer whales do back-flips, you’re ambling through habitats stocked with other beautiful creatures. Whereas a day spent at Islands of Adventure or the Magic Kingdom might send you slumping home and reaching for the Calgon, it’s unusual to come away from SeaWorld stressed. Thoughtfully, schedules are posted online a few weeks ahead of time so that if you’re really anal, you can map out your day in advance; the various show schedules are under “Park Info.”

SeaWorld

   Ethical Entertainment? The “Blackfish” Controversy

Some conservationists say that SeaWorld’s animals endure misery in captivity. Other conservationists laud SeaWorld for being an advocate for marine life. And therein lies the essential tug-of-war over this profit-generating amusement park. SeaWorld is hostile to accusations of mistreatment and exploitation—in 2013, the low-budget documentary “Blackfish” asserted that the 2010 death of its senior trainer Dawn Brancheau, which was witnessed by an audience at Shamu Stadium, was the result of inadequate care. (For its part, the Brancheau family distanced itself from the documentary, saying in a statement: “Dawn would not have remained a trainer at SeaWorld for 15 years if she felt that the whales were not well cared for.”) As an anti-SeaWorld social media campaign grew and concert acts began cancelling appearances in the park, SeaWorld sharply rebutted some of the film’s points, objecting to its lack of balanced reporting and complaining that the editing make it look as if the park stocks its park with animals collected from the wild, something it hasn’t done for decades. Excepting a few aged animals that were born in the seas and rehabilitated from accidents in the wild, SeaWorld insists, most of its animals were born in captivity and raised by hand and so they would not know how to survive in the wild. The park says it has rescued some 22,000 animals to date, and points to its other conservation efforts, but “Blackfish” also alleges that the tanks at SeaWorld could never be large enough to contain marine mammals biologically programmed to roam wide territory—a charge that’s harder to deny.

If you’re doing a full complement of the non-Disney parks, including both Universal parks, SeaWorld, Aquatica, Wet ’n Wild, and Busch Gardens, then you’ll find value in the FlexTicket, also sold on SeaWorld’s site ($320 adults, $300 kids 3–9 for all those parks), which gets you into all of them for 2 weeks. Details are on p. 236.

SeaWorld sells Quick Queue Unlimited ($20), which allows you to cut lines by entering through the exit, but lines are rarely long enough to warrant it. You can also buy the 6-hour Expedition SeaWorld VIP Tour (starting at $79 adult, $59 kids 3–9 in low season) that includes reserved seating to three shows, food, and Quick Queue.

TIMING YOUR VISIT    You will spend quite a bit of time waiting for shows to begin. People show up early for seats, so it’s smart to arrive at least 30 minutes ahead of show times. (It’s also imperative that you wear a watch.) Crowds are lightest Tuesday and Wednesday. Important: If the forecast shows prolonged rain (as opposed to Florida’s typical spot showers), reschedule your visit. Not only will you spend lots of time outside, but it’s also harder to see marine animals when the surface of the water is pelted by raindrops—not to mention the fact that if there’s so much as a twinkle of lightning anywhere in the county, these water-based attractions close faster than a shark’s mouth on his dinner.

GETTING ORIENTED    Once you park ($17, and more expensive “premium” spots aren’t worth it) or get off the I-Ride (the stop is near the front gates), head for the lighthouse that marks the entrance. Inside, grab a placemat-size park map. On the back, printed fresh daily, is the show schedule, plus the opening times of all the restaurants and attractions. Shows usually begin an hour after park opening, and the blockbuster Shamu show, “One Ocean,” has only a few presentations. I always prefer the last one because it’s less crowded. On the off chance there’s a space for a special interaction you’d like to do, the Guest Services and Reservations desk is the place to book. Otherwise, the Cape Cod–style entrance plaza is where you do the necessaries such as rent strollers and lockers. The area is really just a warm-up for the rest of the park

The pathways are lined with the odd “Animal Connections” enclosure—flamingoes here, turtles there—but those are really more like landscaping features than attractions, and some (but not all) aren’t listed on the maps, so poke around. If you’re interested in riding the park’s thrill rides, the best time is when the Shamu show is scheduled, as it soaks up hundreds of people at once.

SeaWorld has a free SeaWorld Discovery Guide app (and free Wi-Fi in major park areas) that orients you, supplies show times, allows you to buy Quick Queue on the fly, and helps you remember where you parked. You can also enter your credit card number and make cashless purchases with a bar code.

The Best Shows

Feel free to be choosy about the shows you see, because if you load your plate with too many, you’ll spend most of your in-between time hoofing it between amphitheaters—yet if I’m being honest, spreading SeaWorld over 2 days would be a bit much.

One Ocean SHOW    When the orcas start to fly, the crowd comes alive. Closed-circuit TV cameras capture and display the spectacle on four huge rotating screens as the animals thunder dauntingly through the water’s surface, pointedly deluging entire seating sections in 52-degree water. It’s quite a scene. The 25-minute show occurs on such a scale as to make it required viewing. Now that trainers are no longer permitted to swim with the orcas, there’s lots of downtime during which loud, recorded rock music plays and the whales are nowhere in sight. Trainers fill the gaps with weak Temptations-style choreography and quasi-inspirational scripted gibberish (“Pass the word from generation to generation: A bright and beautiful future is in our hands . . .”). But you instantly forget about the flaws when the animals reappear to leap skyward and belly flop back into their tank. The stadium, which fits 5,000 and still fills early, is covered, but the sides may catch sun, so arrive at least 30 minutes early. Strategy: Soak zone seats offer excellent views of the animals hurtling through the 2.5 million-gallon, 36-feet-deep tank, and in case the splashes miss you, the dozens of fountain jets will finish the job. Seats near the shelflike front platform will also have a close-up view of a killer whale out of the water. Seats at the back of the stadium, higher than the central aisle, must rely on the TV cameras to make out what’s going on underwater. Shamu Stadium.

   The Best of SeaWorld

Don’t miss if you’re 6: Pets Ahoy!

Don’t miss if you’re 16: Manta

Requisite photo op: Orcas in flight, One Ocean, Shamu Stadium

Food you can only get here: Shamu ice-cream bar, carts parkwide

The most crowded, so go early: Believe, Shamu Stadium

Skippable: A’Lure, The Call of the Ocean

Biggest thrill: Kraken

Best show: One Ocean, Shamu Stadium

Where to find peace: Anywhere around the lagoon

Clyde & Seamore SHOW    SeaWorld’s long-running Pirate Island show was retired in 2014, but Clyde and Seamore, a pair of sea lions, return in 2015 with a new spectacle. Their previous incarnation was a prototypical sea lion act: cheesy, anthropomorphic (animals doing double takes, saluting, and pretending to be choked by exasperated human companions), and slapstick. Their cute 25-minute presentation remains one of SeaWorld’s most cherished franchises. Strategy: The worst seats are to the left as you face the stage (they have partial views), and the best are to the right, by the stone bridge. Sea Lion & Otter Theater.

Blue Horizons SHOW    This bizarre spectacle about a little girl who “wants to explore the realms beyond imagination,” whatever that means, somehow makes for a transfixing and very worthwhile 25-minute show. New Age poppycock makes it more like an acid trip at a carnival than anything else, which lends itself to loosely connected (but excellent nonetheless) stunts starring dolphins, parrots, a condor, and plenty of human acrobats hooked up to bungee cords and diving off high platforms. There’s always something to see, and little to comprehend. Think of it as “Shark du Soleil.” Dolphin Theater.

Pets Ahoy! SHOW    Under-5s lose their minds at this indoor show, and you may, too—it’s the show most worth seeing repeatedly. Although the furry cast is a deviation from SeaWorld’s usual finny ones, the tricks are no less entrancing. A menagerie of common animals (cats, dogs, pigs, ducks, a skunk), most rescued from animal shelters, do simple tricks, and trigger tickling surprises on a rigged wharfside set. As the supercute gags multiply and compound in rapid succession (dachshunds pour out of a hot dog cart, a cat chases a white mouse in and out of hatches), and as more creatures are added into the mix precisely on cue, the amusement escalates. There’s nearly no dialogue for its 20-minute run time. Afterward, trainers allow kids to pet some of the performers. Strategy: It’s fun to sit under the catwalk (literally—cats walk on it) over the aisle between the first and second sections. This 850-seat theater fills well in advance of showtimes. Seaport Theater.

   Smart Seating

Do try to be at shows at least a half-hour early, and for Shamu, add another 10 minutes to walk around the lagoon to the stadium. SeaWorld is not as controlling as—Disney about where you’re permitted to sit, so the best seats go first. Furthermore, several shows (“Pets Ahoy!” especially) don’t permit latecomers. At others, you can’t get out easily until it’s over.

Three of the shows—“One Ocean,” “Blue Horizons,” and “Clyde and Seamore”—have a clearly marked “soak zone” in the front rows of the seating section. Bank on the first 10 rows as being the wettest. Don’t take this warning lightly; you have no concept of how much water a 10,000-pound male orca can displace. Of course, sitting with your kids in the soak zone on a hot day is one of the great pleasures of SeaWorld, and most soak zone seating has the added advantage of affording side views into the tank where the animals prepare for their leaps and splashes. But for those with expensive hairdos, ponchos are sold throughout the parks, including at stalls beneath Shamu Stadium, for $8 ($7 kids). Keep your electronics somewhere dry, because salt water can fry their circuits.

A’Lure: The Call of the Ocean SHOW    You mustn’t feel bad if you miss this wordless, animal-free revue of arty human tumbling and caterwauling. The plot—something about an enchantress jealous of a stud-muffin fisherman—is as insubstantial as the bubbles that pour from the ceiling. It’s mostly an opportunity to get into the air-conditioning. It’s dark on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Nautilus Theater.

The Rest of the Park

Dolphin Nursery ACTIVITY    Between the entrance plaza and the Waterfront, the young mammals are kept with their mothers for the first few years of their lives before graduating to the larger Dolphin Cove elsewhere in the park. Much of the day, human trainers can be found here, feeding the adolescent animals and getting them acclimated to human interaction. A fence keeps you well away from the water.

Key West at SeaWorld ACTIVITY    A sorta-reproduction of Front Street in the southernmost city in Florida features the Stingray Lagoon, a pool where you can lean over and feel the spongy fish. You can buy food to feed the rays for $5 per tray of about four fish, two trays for $9, or three for $13.

Dolphin Cove ACTIVITY    Feeding times for the bottlenose dolphins (the schedule is posted) are regimented and crowded. Interested parties should collect in a zone near the feeding area about 30 minutes before the posted feeding time. You can take your own photos or SeaWorld will sell you a professional one for $20. Around feeding times, dolphins congregate at the trainers’ dock, which can make seeing them from other parts of the tank difficult, so if you won’t be feeding them, come between meals for a better look. Walk around the far side of the tank, and you’ll find a little-used underwater viewing area with air conditioning.

TurtleTrek ACTIVITY/FILM    A circuitous entrance ramp brings you to a popular air-conditioned underwater viewing area for 1,500 Caribbean fish and sea turtles the size of coffee tables. If you look closely, you can tell which turtles are rescues—one lost her lower jaw from a fishing net, another gave a flipper to a shark near Bermuda. In the freshwater tank, much attention is paid to the manatee’s status as one of America’s most endangered animals, and, in fact, the sluggish creatures on display here were all rescued from the wild, where hot-dogging boaters are decimating their numbers. You’ll be herded into a domed room where a (rather poorly) computer-animated 3-D film traces the life cycle of a sea turtle from its point of view. It’s hard not to notice that 7-minute story hits the same beats as “Finding Nemo” (jellyfish fields, marauding birds, sharks prowling a shipwreck). You might be better off staying longer in front of the tank, where the view is more authentic. Tip: If you skip this, at least see the manatees in their habitat located out the attraction’s exit.

Manta RIDE    Rising above the park is SeaWorld’s thrill-ride pride, a “flying coaster” ridden face-down and head-first, in a horizontal position. You board sitting upright, and after your shoulders and ankles are secured, you’re tipped forward and the train is dispatched over curious pedestrians for the 21⁄2-minute ride. The queue meaders through 10 aquaria containing cownose rays, spotted eaglerays, and octopi behind floor-to-ceiling windows, so you get a dose of sea life while you wait. Even nonriders can see rays through a separate entrance to the right of the ride’s line. Speeds approach 60mph, with four inversions, in a fanciful approximation of what it feels like for a manta ray to swim. Manta is a pretty unique coaster experience, and it’s solid fun. Lockers are $1 to $1.50 in quarters; there’s a change machine. Tip: Because you’re in “flying” position, no seat has an obstructed view.

   Hook the Trainers

To get the most out of a visit, try to be in the same place as the animal trainers, who frequently appear to nurture their charges. Ask questions. Get involved. They may even allow you to feed or stroke the animals (set aside another $25 or so for fish food). These zoologists love sharing information about the animals they have devoted their lives to. Feeding times are usually posted outside each pavilion’s entrance; you may need to backtrack a few times to make the schedule, but the interaction will be worth the effort.

The Kraken End of the Park

Journey to Atlantis RIDE    On this 6-minute flume-cum-coaster ride (you can’t see the brief coaster section from the front), getting drenched is unavoidable, as the 60-foot drop should warn. Riding isn’t its only pleasure—it’s fun to douse passing boats with coin-operated water cannons, too (Number 4 does the most damage to the unsuspecting). Atlantis is oddball. First you pass through a few rooms as if you’re on a family-friendly dark ride (the robotics aren’t great), and then one of the spirits turns against you sending you down the hill you saw outside, and finally the water gives way and your boat becomes, briefly, a roller-coaster car that escapes the evil sprite with no upside-down moments but yet another splashdown. Besides the drenching you can see from outside, there are a few other lap soakers and delightfully nasty splashbacks—ideal for hot days. Strategy: Front seats get wettest. Try to balance the weight; otherwise you’ll list disconcertingly. Keep stuff dry in a nearby locker (four quarters; there’s a change machine), and leave it there when you ride Kraken next door. Ponchos are sold nearby for $8; $7 for kids.

Kraken RIDE    Take a 2-minute dose of testosterone. After you settle into your pedestal-like seat, the floor is retracted, dangling your legs while you undergo seven upside-down “inversions” of one sort or another. The coaster, which hits 65mph and drops 144 feet on its first breath-stealing hill, traces the shoreline of a pond behind the loading area and dives below ground level three times. Strategy: If you’d like to wait for a front seat, there’s a special, longer line for it. Because it’s floorless, you can’t ride with flip-flops, but you may leave shoes on the loading dock and go barefoot (if you do that in the front row, which I recommend, you’ll feel like you’re about to lose a foot in the rails). Lockers cost 4 quarters; there’s a change machine nearby at the lockers for Journey to Atlantis. Better yet, use one locker for both rides.

Antarctica ACTIVITY/RIDE    SeaWorld’s 2013 addition was this 4-acre, iceberg-styled pavilion dedicated to penguins. View a colony of 245 Gentoo, Rockhopper, Adélie, and King penguins, first in a human-temperature room with a fascinating underwater viewing of the little birds zipping around underwater, and then, if you want, from a 30-degree area where they waddle helplessly on dry land. The ride, should you choose to try it out, takes you to the habitat in the reverse order. It’s based on some cool trackless technology that allows cars, which will remind you of air hockey pucks, to roam the same room, even cross paths. Choose “Wild” or “Mild,” although the wild version isn’t much more intense than a few light spins and bucks. As rides go, it’s fairly pointless, but it is unique. Don’t confuse this exhibition with Wild Arctic, which contains the beluga whales and polar bears.

Pacific Point Preserve ACTIVITY    Like Dolphin Cove, Pacific Point is an open-air, rocky habitat that encourages feedings, but here the residents are incessantly barking Californian sea lions and a few demure seals. There’s a narrow moat between the tank and the walkway, but you’re encouraged to lean over and toss the doglike animals fresh fish, which are sold for $5 per tray, $20 for five. More often than not, maurauding birds snatch what you toss. The area gets busy around Clyde and Seamore showtimes at the neighboring Sea Lion & Otter Theater.

Shark Encounter ACTIVITY    The onetime Terrors of the Deep was given a more responsible name to further rehabilitate the public image of the much-maligned creatures within. It’s one of the better exhibitions, with 60-foot acrylic tubes passing through 300,000 gallons of water stocked with sharks—the crowds are ushered along via moving sidewalks. Too many tourists scamper quickly through the smaller tanks before that dazzling main event, but they’re missing some beautiful stuff, including barracuda, moray eels, lionfish, and the awesome leafy sea dragon, which looks for all the world like a floating clump of seaweed. Don’t ignore the shallow tank in front of the building, as that’s where the smaller species are kept. There, you can feed rays and tarpon shrimp for $5 a tray, two for $9, three for $13, and five for $20.

The Waterfront at SeaWorld

Sky Tower OBSERVATION RIDE    Jutting above the lagoon—and topped to still-greater heights by a colossal American flag—is the 400-foot, old-fashioned “Wheel-o-vater” (that’s what its interior label says) that rotates as it climbs 300 feet for a panorama. At the top, it slowly spins for two or three revolutions, giving you a good look around, before lowering you back to the Waterfront at the end of 6 minutes. You can point out the landmarks, including Spaceship Earth and the skyscrapers of downtown.

Shamu Stadium ACTIVITY    The home to One Ocean has something to offer outside of show time. A few of the killer whales are visible in the Shamu Up Close viewing area that surveys one of their holding pods. Above the surface of that pen, the Dine with Shamu supper (p. 134) is held, separated by cargo netting from the water (reserve several weeks ahead).

Shamu’s Happy Harbor ACTIVITY    Behind Shamu Stadium, kids have their own amusement area—and they get more rides than the grown-ups! The most obvious feature is the four-story cargo-net playground, but there are some and mild carnival-style rides: an underwater-themed Sea Carousel topped by a 45-foot-wide pink octopus; a swinging-and-twirling tracked boat ride, Ocean Commotion ; and the Flying Fiddler , a bench that lifts kids 20 feet above the ground and then gently brings them back down in a series of short drops. Those rides join an 800-foot kiddie coaster with trains shaped like you-know-who (Shamu Express ), a ride with spinning cars attached to a stalk (Jazzy Jellies ), a pirate ship (Wahoo Two ) that doesn’t do much, the teacup-style (Swishy Fishies ), and the Seven Seas Railway tiny train, where it’s fun to make Daddy squish into the caboose.

What the Basics cost at SeaWorld

Parking: $17

Single strollers: $15 per day

Double strollers: $25 per day

Wheelchair: $12 per day

ECV: $50 per day

Lockers: $8 (small) or $11 (large) per day

Coke: $2.70 / Bottle of water: $2.80 / Cup of beer: $7

The Shamu End of the Park

Wild Arctic ACTIVITY/RIDE    One of SeaWorld’s most interesting exhibitions deserves more than it gets: marooned here, at the Nowhereseville end of the park, when the only time it seems crowded is a half-hour after every Shamu showtime. As with Antarctica (which is different and has the penguins) there are two ways to get in. Either you opt for the motion-simulator ride that re-creates a turbulent 5-minute helicopter ride (well done for such an old ride, but its bumpiness makes me ill), or you much more quickly make straight for the swimmers after a short movie. After that, you can walk through at your own pace, enjoying first a surface view and then an underwater look at the Pacific walruses, polar bears (you won’t see much—they sleep 16–18 hr. a day), and the parks’ utterly beautiful white beluga whales, which look like swimming porcelain. There’s probably more than a half-hour’s worth of investigation here, including mock-ups of a polar research station and a fake “bear den” for young kids to explore. You’ll also find it very cool, which makes it a blockbuster on hot days.

Where to Eat at SeaWorld

In case you were wondering, SeaWorld only serves sustainable seafood. There are also always vegetarian options. Prices are in line with everyone else’s: $10 a meal, before a drink, is standard. Most places to eat are clustered in the center between the Waterfront and Kraken. All-you-can-eat food passes (one entree, one side or dessert, one nonalcoholic drink each time through line) cost $33 for adults and $18 for kids ($3 cheaper online); they’re good at six of the counter-service locations.

Disney World has its Mouse-ear ice-cream bar, but at SeaWorld, you’ll be served a variety shaped like Shamu ($3.60). Plastic drinking straws could choke the aquatic animals, so you don’t get one. If you must have a straw, the $9 souvenir cups have them built in, and they grant $1 refills. More interesting are the Coca-Cola Freestyle fountains, which are touchscreen machines that allow you to blend your own brew from a range of 126 Coke flavors. Cups cost $10 and each time you refill it ($1). There’s also a customizable Tourist Penguin version ($16) sold at Antarctica.

The headline meal event is Dine with Shamu , served from noon to 2pm and from 4:30 to 6:30pm alongside the orca pools with the narration of trainers. Prices fluctuate by the day, but $34 for adults and $24 for kids is a peak rate. That’s not bad to be near one of these massive creatures. It’s important to book far ahead.

The newest counter-service location is Expedition Café , with non-A/C seating outside Antarctica, which, like the Antarctic Research Station, serves a range of food from many cultures: baked chicken, shrimp lo mein, gluten-free teriyaki chicken, spaghetti and meatballs, meatless lasagna, and “iceberg chef” salad.

The Terrace Garden Buffet , past the Nautilus Theater, is the only all-you-can-eat buffet. It piles on pizza, pasta, salads, and dessert—nothing daring, no caloric regard. Buy a ticket for $15 adults, $10 kids at the kiosk outside; it closes 90 minutes before the park does. Out front, don’t miss the huge sculptures of sea life made out of plastic trash skimmed out of the ocean by the group WashedAshore.org. The other main restaurants serve high-quality food, too, but with less caloric regard. The Seafire Inn , at the Waterfront, has some seating overlooking the lagoon and does fish and chips, pasta bowls, Caesar salads, and Mediterranean veggie wraps. Farther up the Waterfront but with similar prices, the Spice Mill Cafe does stuff such as steak burgers, low-fat vegetarian chili, and grilled chicken salad, and it also has pretty water views. Voyagers Smokehouse , facing the Seaport Theatre’s entrance, offers baby back ribs, spare ribs, and barbecue chicken, with a higher top price of $16.

Like Epcot’s The Seas, the park devotes a section of an underwater viewing area to Sharks Underwater Grill , one of the park’s premier tables. It doesn’t particularly specialize in seafood. Despite some cute touches, such as a bar that’s also an aquarium and chairs that look like sharks’ teeth, prices like $27 for tempura shrimp and $28 for grilled chicken risotto strike me as too high (although salads are $9). But if you can square that with the incredible view, give it a shot. Some tables are right against the glass, but I think I prefer the ones farther back, which have a wider view.

For snacks, I suggest the Cypress Bakery , near the entrance. The carrot cake ($4) is huge, fluffy, and arguably among the best you’ll have anywhere. The parks employees are hooked on it. It also sells snacks for special diets.

SeaWorld participates in the gruesome Orlando tradition of huge roasted turkey legs. Find them for $10 at Seaport Market, near Seaport Pizza (where you buy weak $8 individual pizzas) and at the Smugglers Feasts booth near Seafire Inn. Captain Pete’s Island Hot Dogs in the Key West area has foot-longs such as one with key lime slaw ($9). At the Shamu end of the boardwalk, Mango Joe’s Cafe does a short menu of burgers and mango chicken salad.

Backstage Tours

As a place that prides itself on sharing conservation information—in fact, as a place that keeps animals on display, its reputation depends on it—SeaWorld ( 800/327-2424; www.seaworldorlando.com) has Exclusive Park Experiences that are less about touting its vaunted design team, as Disney’s are, and more for learning about animal care. In fact, they’re dubbed “interactions.” Because interactions sell out, always reserve—it can be done online—but if you forget, there’s a Behind-the-Scenes desk at the entry plaza of the park for last-minute arrangements. Interactions involving swimming include a wetsuit and equipment, and end with a private, hot shower. There are about a dozen to choose from, from an on-dry-land dolphin meet to a sea lion spotlight, but these two are probably the most unforgettable experiences.

Beluga Interaction Program ACTIVITY    Opportunities to squeeze into a wet suit and swim for 30 minutes in 55°F saltwater with the porcelain-white beluga whales simply don’t come often. Participants don’t have to be excellent swimmers, but they should be able to tread water, as they’ll be maneuvering themselves in a deep tank to stroke and feed the gentle animals. Only about a half-hour is spent in the water; the rest of your visit, you’ll become a pocket expert on belugas.

$119 per person, not including park admission. Minimum age 10. 90 min.

Marine Mammal Keeper Experience ACTIVITY    The ne plus ultra for a SeaWorld or animal fan starts at 6:30am and leads you through a typical day for an animal keeper. The schedule may include food preparation (get ready for fishy fingers); helping the Animal Rescue and Rehabilitation Team look after manatees; standing over the vets’ shoulders as they heal sick animals; and helping trainers interact with and train dolphins, pilot whales, or belugas. This is no put-on for shuffling bus tours; you participate in the work the day calls for, and there’s a limit of just three people. Many people who have done this swear that it’s money better spent than a ticket to Discovery Cove; you’ll get in the water to care for dolphins and manatees, but you won’t grab onto their fins for any gimmicky “swims.”

$399, including lunch, T-shirt, and park admission for a week. Minimum age 13. 9 hr.

SeaWorld’s Other Parks

Aquatica    SeaWorld’s water slide park is across International Drive from its parent park (a free, 3-min. van ride links it), and you can pay for admission as an add-on to your SeaWorld visit. While Typhoon Lagoon and Blizzard Beach are heavily themed, and Wet ’n Wild is tangled with bare-boned thrills, Aquatica is merely fresh and bright. It’s a perfectly nice park, but the others have more tricks. The company entices tourists to swim with the fishes on the Dolphin Plunge slide, a tube that curls off a tower and then turns clear acrylic as it passes through a habitat for Commerson’s dolphins. It looks exciting on paper, but in truth you’re going too fast to see anything, even if the dolphins could be reliably near the tubes (they aren’t) and there wasn’t water splashing in your eyes (there is). There are 18 major slides, but because of duplications, only 7, including Dolphin Plunge, are really distinct experiences. The lazy river of Loggerhead Lane passes you by a big window into an aquarium. Roa’s Rapids is novel in that it’s a river with a very fast current meant to sweep your body along, without a tube. It’s all fine, not scintillating, and bears the whiff of having been scaled down from something more notable. Aquatica does run with a smart, picnicky idea when it comes to meals: You can pay $15 adults, $10 kids for unlimited fare at the all-you-can-eat Banana Beach (chicken, pizza, hot dogs). Otherwise, Mango Market sells chicken tenders and sandwiches for the usual $10 per-meal price.

5800 Water Play Way, Orlando.  888/800-5447. www.aquaticabyseaworld.com. Adults $55, kids 3–9 $50, online tickets $10 less, discounts for combination SeaWorld tickets, parking $12, $11 online.

Discovery Cove THEME PARK    The most expensive park in town (prices shift by the season) is as an all-inclusive experience. Only around 1,000 people a day are admitted, guaranteeing this faux tropical idyll is not marred by a single queue. You can stop reading now if you don’t want to get jealous—this is strictly a place for special occasions (or people spending strong foreign cash). Admission lanyards include breakfast, equipment rental, sunscreen, beer if you’re of age, and unlimited lunch—a good one, too, such as fresh grilled tilapia (a fish that drew the short straw at SeaWorld, I guess). Discovery Cove, in fact, is more or less a free-range playground. When you arrive, first thing in the morning, you’re greeted under a vaulted atrium more redolent of a five-star island resort than a theme park. Coffee is poured, and once you’re checked in you’re set loose to do as you wish. Wade from perfect white sand into Serenity Bay, feed fresh fruit to the houseguests at the Explorer’s Aviary for tropical birds, snorkel with barbless rays over the trenches of The Grand Reef, swim to habitats for marmoset monkeys and otters in the Freshwater Oasis, or float with a pool noodle down the slow-floating Wind-Away River, which passes through waterfalls into the aviary, preventing the birds from escaping. Many guests elect to simply kick back on a lounger (there are plenty) on incredibly silky sand (imported, of course) at the natural-looking pool. Other than that, you read a book and relax. Since everyone wears free wetsuits or vests, there isn’t much call for body shame or sunburned shoulders. When it’s your turn—if you’ve paid extra—guests older than 5 can head to the Dolphin Lagoon, where in small groups of about eight you wade into the chilly water and meet one of the pod. Like children, dolphins have distinct personalities and must be carefully paired to people the trainers think they’ll enjoy being with—many visitors don’t realize that a dolphin can easily kill you, but many of these dolphins are docile, having dwelled at SeaWorld for decades. Here, the mostly hand-reared animals peer at you with a logician’s eye while your trainer shows you basic hand signals. The climax of the 30-minute interaction is the moment when you grasp two of the creature’s fins and it swims, you in tow, for about 30 feet. Naturally, a photographer is on hand for it all, so if you want images or video, you’ll pay for that, too, pushing a day to $400. A second add-on experience, SeaVenture ($59, minimum age 10), places an air helmet on your head and brings you underwater to walk along the floor of The Grand Reef. Really, though, a day here is beyond divine.

6000 Discovery Cove Way, Orlando.  877/557-7404. www.discoverycove.com. $169–$249, including free admission to SeaWorld and Aquatica for 2 weeks, plus $60–$150 for 30-min. dolphin interaction. Daily 8am–5:30pm.

Legoland Florida

Legoland Florida , a 2011 newcomer, is not just the youngest Central Florida theme park. It’s also the oldest. That’s because it took over the historic property of Cypress Gardens, a park for botanical gardens and water ski shows on the cypress tree-lined shores of pretty Lake Eloise that helped put Orlando on modern tourist maps. For a glimpse of what things were like in the glory days, see Esther Williams’ jaw-dropping heli-water-ski production number in MGM’s “Easy to Love” (1953). Today, this extremely kid-friendly, soothingly mellow 150-acre park 45 minutes south of Disney World is a godsend for parents who crave a breather from the mechanical and authoritarian environment of Disney World. No other Florida park caters so completely to kids aged 2 to 12. Everything here is designed for little ones, from easy-to-tackle versions of adult rides to ample wide spaces for play.

Get your bearings, and take in the stirring views of the lake, on the Island in the Sky observation wheel, which reaches into the sky on a metal arm. Other park highlights include Lost Kingdom Adventure, an indoor target practice game in the style of a Lego-bright Indiana Jones tomb; Coastersaurus, a mild out-and-back wooden roller coaster suitable for grammar school lightweights; Driving School, the Ford-sponsored, trackless mini-auto course that teaches kids how to obey traffic rules; Project X, a wild mouse coaster perfectly situated for nonriders to take embarrassing shots of loved ones faces as they hurtle downhill; Safari Trek, a wholly adorable car ride past wild African animals made of Legos; and Royal Joust, a mini steeplechase-style plastic horse race for wee ones that just may be the cutest ride in the whole country. For a break from the excitement, the Imagination Zone as indoor Lego-building play zones and video game stations, and past that, a healthy portion of the carefully tended Cypress Gardens Historic Botanical Garden was preserved, complete with Spanish moss, cypress knees jutting from tannic water, old-growth banyans, and signs warning of alligators, which live in the lake. Suddenly, you remember Orlando is in Florida, which is sad, considering Florida made its tourist name by selling its natural wonders. For all that, and lots more like it, nothing competes with the fascination of Miniland, the sprawling tour de force display of Lego construction prowess that mounts exceedingly clever versions of American cities and landmarks. The longer you linger, the more touches you see: a moving escalator in a mock-up Grand Central Station, a Space Shuttle misting during takeoff, dueling pirate ships, a mini “Star Wars” cantina, the Bellagio’s burping fountain, and marching bands in front of the Capitol. If you like those gags, stick around for the Pirates’ Cover Live Water Ski Show, which replaces Cypress Gardens’ pyramids of maidens with ski-jumping socket-headed Minifigure toy people. The park offers $10 round-trip shuttles from Orlando Premium Outlets, east of Downtown Disney ( 877/350-5346). Because it closes by evening, arrive near opening time to get the most out of a day.

1 Legoland Way, Winter Haven.  877/350-5346. http://florida.legoland.com. Admission $84 adults, $77 for kids aged 3 to 12, with discounts of up to $15 online; parking $14 ($12 online). Open daily from 10am to 5pm–8pm, depending on the day, closed Tues–Weds in low season.

Past that turnstile in the Sky

Not all of Orlando’s attractions have thrived. Tupperware Museum, we miss you. Kindly remove your Mouse ears to honor the forgotten fun—if not for an accident of time, you’d be vacationing here instead:

Circus World (1974–86): Started by Mattel as a walk-through museum dedicated to circus history (after all, most of the big top crews wintered in Florida), it collapsed under its own weight after competition with Disney tempted it into building too many rides. Also, clowns are scary.

Boardwalk Baseball (1987–90): Textbook publisher Harcourt, Brace and Jovanovich recycled Circus World in the image of Florida’s other winter tradition, baseball, and the Kansas City Royals were enticed to train there. Few cared. On January 17, 1990, 1,000 guests were asked to leave.

Xanadu (1983–96): This walk-through “home of the future” was made by coating giant balloons with polyurethane—an early exercise in ergonomics. Sister homes in Gatlinburg and Wisconsin Dells were also built, but all outlived their curiosity value, and became, in fact, quick homes of the past. You’ll find the site near Mile Marker 12 of U.S. 192.

JungleLand Zoo (1995–2002): The demise of this low-rent Gatorland rip-off was hastened in 1997 by news coverage after a lioness escaped from her enclosure and went missing among Kissimmee’s motels for 3 days. A few trainers got nipped by the gators, too. Bad news.

Splendid China (1993–2003): On 73 acres 3 miles west of Disney’s main gate, China’s wonders (the Forbidden City, a Great Wall segment containing 6.5 million bricks, and so on) were rebuilt in miniature. Who would blow $100 million on such a bad idea? The Chinese government, which pulled the strings.

River Country (1976–2005): Disney’s first water park, incorporated into Bay Lake beside the Fort Wilderness Resort, simply wasn’t fancy enough or big enough to satisfy guests anymore. Another issue: It turns out that the Naegleria fowleri amoebae growing in many Florida lakes can kill you. (Guests may no longer swim in any of Disney’s lakes. Coincidence?)

Busch Gardens Tampa

Seventy miles southwest of Disney, and just 8 miles northwest of Tampa, Busch Gardens Tampa (3000 E. Busch Blvd., at 40th St.;  888/800-5447; www.buschgardens.com), dating to 1959, is a world-class theme park combining thrill rides with top-notch animal enclosures for gorillas, rhinos, and other rare creatures. New for 2014 was the terrifying Falcon’s Fury, America’s tallest drop tower that sends riders plummeting face-down. Its roller coasters, including the vertical drop of SheiKra and the sidewinding launch coaster Cheetah Hunt, are considered more thrilling than the multigenerational rides of Orlando. Although the park is worth a day’s attention, relatively few Americans make the journey to another city, partly because their limited vacation days force them to restrict their movements. International visitors favor it more strongly. The park knows that coaxing visitors from Orlando is a problem, so if you have a paid admission ticket to Busch Gardens, it grants free round-trip coach transportation from Orlando with a paid ticket ( 800/221-1339).

Admission to the park is $95 adults, $90 for kids 3 to 9, with $15–$30 discounts available online for pre-purchase or weekday entry. A 3 Park Unlimited Admission Ticket from SeaWorld also comes with a free round-trip bus ride from SeaWorld to Busch Gardens, and entry to both parks and Aquatica; it costs $149 adults and $141 kids when bought online. Busch Gardens also discounts its entry in the six-park version of the discounted Orlando FlexTicket (p. 236).