Personal growth is a subject that I am very passionate about, and I’ve written about it pretty extensively. So I’m going to take an approach to it here that’s somewhat different from what I’ve done in the past. But before I do, I want to lay some groundwork.
One of the books that has influenced my thinking on the subject of growth is Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. It affirms a lot of what I believed and experienced before I saw her research. What Dweck discovered is that people naturally possess one of two mind-sets. Some have a fixed mind-set. That’s a belief that their personal qualities, such as intelligence, character, creativity, people skills, and so on, cannot change. They are basically set for life. Others possess a growth mind-set. These people believe that their personal qualities can be developed.
Dweck found that people who possess a fixed mind-set are forever trying to prove their worth. She writes, “I’ve seen so many people with this one consuming goal of proving themselves—in the classroom, in their careers, and in their relationships. Every situation calls for a confirmation of their intelligence, personality, or character. Every situation is evaluated: Will I succeed or fail? Will I look smart or dumb? Will I be accepted or rejected? Will I feel like a winner or a loser?1
In contrast, Dweck describes the growth mind-set as one in which people explore and develop. She writes,
This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way—in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments—everyone can change and grow through application and experience.
Do people with this mindset believe that anyone can be anything, that anyone with proper motivation or education can become Einstein or Beethoven? No, but they believe that a person’s true potential is unknown (and unknowable), that it’s impossible to foresee what can be accomplished with years of passion, toil, and training.2
In other words, a person’s capacity is limitless. And our desire should be to explore how far we can stretch it.
Even though Dweck’s research indicates that people naturally fall into one of these two camps, I believe that even a person born with a set mind-set can adopt the thinking and habits of a growth mind-set and become more open to growth. Dweck confirms this. She says we have a choice:
When you enter a mindset, you enter a new world. In one world—the world of fixed traits—success is about proving you’re smart or talented. Validating yourself. In the other—the world of changing qualities—it’s about stretching yourself to learn something new. Developing yourself.
In one world, failure is about having a setback. Getting a bad grade. Losing a tournament. Getting fired. Getting rejected. It means you’re not smart or talented. In the other world, failure is about not growing. Not reaching for the things you value. It means you’re not fulfilling your potential.
In one world, effort is a bad thing. It, like failure, means you’re not smart or talented. If you were, you wouldn’t need effort. In the other world, effort is what makes you smart or talented.3
Which world do you live in? Do you want to change? You can!
In my formative years, most of the people I knew had a fixed mind-set. I never bought into that world and realized I needed to find people and places that had a growth mind-set. What I began looking for was a growth environment. In this chapter, I want to share with you what that looks like. If you possess a fixed mind-set, then putting yourself in a growth environment will help you to change, grow, and adapt. If you already have a growth mind-set, then a growth environment will accelerate your development and increase your capacity at a higher rate. And if you happen to be a leader, you can study the characteristics of a growth environment and begin to create one within your department or organization that will help develop your team members. I shared these ideas with ATB Financial in Canada several years ago, and it inspired them to become committed to providing a growth environment for their people.
I’ve studied different environments and created a few as a leader. In my forty-plus years of experience, I’ve identified ten characteristics of a positive growth environment:
Are you at the head of your class? If so, then you’re in the wrong class. You need to find people who are ahead of you so that you can learn from them.
All my life I have been very intentional about finding people who are faster, better, smarter, bigger, and older than I am to learn from. I always stretch better when someone is ahead of me. So will you.
Recently when I spoke for the Beachbody fitness organization, I decided to go to an exercise class. Out of the 123 people there, I’m pretty sure I ranked 123rd. Boy, did it make me want to work harder! A couple of years ago, Margaret and I went on a dream trip to Italy. The people on that trip were financially way ahead of us, and I learned a lot during our conversations over dinner. The last few years, I’ve gotten to play in the AT&T Pro-Am golf tournament. Trust me, none of the pro golfers ever asked me to read a putt for them, but I’ve continually watched their play and picked up things from them. And when I host a conference, and I bring in someone like Alan Mulally, the former chairman of Ford Motor Company, you’d better believe I’m in the front row taking notes.
As much as I love communicating, I would still rather learn than teach. I prefer asking questions to giving answers. I guess you could say that I like the deep end of the pool more than the wading pool. I use the power of proximity to get next to the people who can help me get to the next level. When I do, I try not to think about how far ahead of me they are. Making the comparison would just discourage me. Instead I look at their success journey and use it as inspiration for mine. They’ve gotten far; maybe I can, too. I just need to go through what they’ve gone through. It always makes me better when I hang around with better people. If I tried to race them, maybe I wouldn’t win. That’s okay. Winning is overrated. Growing is underrated.
In your environment, are there people who are ahead of you? If not, you need to find some.
Most people wake up and yawn. I prefer to wake up with a gulp. I want to know that I’m facing something big ahead of me every day.
That’s certainly true for me this week. I will challenge 150 volunteer associate trainers who have worked with my nonprofit organization EQUIP and ask them to help me start roundtables in countries around the world. Our goal is to have one million people in roundtables next year. That’s a goal that’s bigger than I am. I will challenge that same group to help the leaders we’ve already trained around the world to become transformational. That’s also bigger than I am.
Later this week, I’ll talk to eight hundred Wall Street executives and ask them to make an impact on society that’s greater spiritually than financially. That’s bigger than I am. And my week will conclude with an address to the graduating class of Florida Southern University, where I’ll tell them how they can be a person of significance right now—and not wait until they are fifty, sixty, or seventy. That’s bigger than I am. In fact, just writing all that is making me gulp right now!
Some of the most significant things in life take great time and effort. The joy of the journey toward them comes from the new discoveries we make along the way. Our new knowledge and discoveries become the motivation for us to continue the journey. It is only after we go a long distance that we can look back and realize what we didn’t know. Soon we begin to realize that it is not the destination we’re seeking. Rather, we desire the growth that we experience, and we find ourselves embracing the journey with full knowledge that there is no finish line. At that time, we stop asking, “How long will it take?” and begin to wonder, How far can I go?
Author Robert Anthony said, “Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge—others just gargle.” What’s your capacity? What is mine? I don’t know. But I do know that it can expand. At one time Johnny Weissmuller was called the greatest swimmer in the world. He held over fifty world records. Doctors and coaches said, “No one will ever break his records.” Do you know who breaks his records now? Thirteen-year-olds! A challenge can always make you better.
In a positive growth environment, your focus is on moving forward. Tony Robbins says, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” My advice to you when you are distracted is to feed your focus and diminish your distractions. Say no to the good so you can say yes to the best.
During a very busy time in my life, when I was trying to focus on moving forward but I was being bombarded with distractions, I penned the following letter. I never sent it but it was great therapy for me.
John Maxwell thanks you for your letter but regrets that he is unable to accept your kind invitation to: send an autograph / help you with your project / provide a photograph / read your manuscript / give you counseling / deliver a lecture / be interviewed / attend a conference / talk on the radio / act as chairman / appear on TV / become an editor / speak after dinner / write a book / give a testimonial / give an endorsement / accept an honorary degree.
I’m almost seventy, but I’m looking forward, not backward. And I’m staying focused on getting better. Old people talk a lot about yesterday. They reminisce about the “good ole days.” Well, let me tell you, the good ole days weren’t that good. Old people just think they were because they’re old and can’t remember. I don’t want to look back. And neither should you.
When I started my career, my dad said, “Value people, believe in them, and unconditionally love them.” What he was really saying was to create an environment that’s affirming. And that’s what I’ve tried to do for more than forty years. He knew then and I know now that people do best when they are encouraged.
Do you live and work in an environment where you are affirmed for being who you are? Do people encourage you to grow and cheer you on when you make choices that make you better? If so, you know how much that helps. If not, you need to find a place where people build each other up, not pull them down.
You’ve read an entire chapter on risk and getting out of your comfort zone, so I don’t need to say too much here. But I do want to tell you this: there is no growth in your comfort zone and no comfort in your growth zone.
My friend Paul Martinelli, the president of the John Maxwell Team, says, “Everything you want in life is outside your comfort zone.” I believe that’s true. Here’s how this works when it comes to growth:
When you’re out of your gift zone and out of your comfort zone, it’s a catastrophe.
When you’re in your gift zone and in your comfort zone, you’re coasting.
When you’re in your gift zone and out of your comfort zone, you’re creating a new you.
One of the ways I get out of my comfort zone is by facing and embracing new experiences. This year I have gone paragliding in Peru, gone snowshoeing in Colorado, ridden a campaign bus in Iowa during the primaries with a presidential candidate, written a children’s book, and conducted an orchestra. But I’m not done. I also hope this year to learn how to paddle board, rescue a malnourished baby in Guatemala with my family, and maybe parachute from a plane. (That would really be out of my comfort zone!) I want to live until I die and not get the two confused. How about you? Are you getting out of your comfort zone on a regular basis?
One of the great mysteries in life to me is the number of bored people in this world. They yawn when they wake up and keep yawning all day. I can’t live that way. Every day I wake up with a feeling of excitement. Why?
Is there anything better than that? The people I help love it and so do I.
I’m not good at a lot of things. Trust me. Highly talented people amaze me. That’s not me. I do only a couple of things well, but I do them really well. And that’s fun! To be able to do something well and then to do it continually is a beautiful thing.
I’m still growing and improving. I’m not sure how long this ride will last, but I’m sure enjoying it right now.
I have a great team. A couple of people have worked with me for more than twenty years. They are trusted friends and very competent in their work. They give me security and they understand me. Newer members of the team are full of energy and creativity and are truly giving me some of my best days. I’m smiling as I write these words. I love the people on my team.
What I do is a calling for me, not a career. A career you can change or leave. A calling is not an option. It’s an opportunity to fulfill your destiny.
Do you wake up excited every morning? Every day we have a choice to explore and make the most of our opportunities for growth, or ignore them. What choice are you making?
Another characteristic of a growth environment is that you are allowed—or even encouraged—to fail. Once at a leadership conference I mentioned that my passion for trying is greater than my fear of failing. Later in a Q & A, I was asked many questions about failure. One of the questions was “When do you know that failure is not your enemy?” Here is what I said:
• When you value the lessons failure has taught you. Failure is inevitable; learning is optional.
• When it helps you to develop resilience. Eric Greitens called resilience endurance with direction.
• When you use your failures to teach others. You have lost your fear of failure when you are not afraid to share those failures with other people.
I love teaching about my failures and what I’ve learned from them. At this stage of my life, people see me at the top of my game, but I want them to know where I started from. Why? I don’t want people’s seeing me at the end of my journey to discourage them at the beginning of their journeys. If the gap looks wide, that can happen. Believe me, if they could have seen me then, they’d be greatly encouraged. They’d be saying, “If that boy made it, so can I!”
Speaker Jim Rohn said, “You can’t achieve beyond your level of development. You don’t achieve goals. You grow into them.” That’s well said. If you want to grow into your goals, you’ll benefit greatly by being surrounded by others who are growing. If you do not see other people around you growing, then you know you’re not in a growth environment.
A place where I’m growing and others are growing—that’s the kind of environment I want to live in. And as a leader, I have some responsibility for creating such an environment. That’s not always easy. Over the years I have learned to never underestimate the power I have to grow personally, and to never overestimate the power I have to help others grow. Early in my career, I thought helping others grow would always be easy. But I discovered that not everyone wants to grow. After several failed attempts to help others develop, I started asking myself three questions before investing in someone:
Do they want to grow?
Will they do it?
Can they do it?
The answers need to be yes, or else why waste the time and effort trying to invest in them? And by the way: I don’t answer those three questions. I ask the people I would like to develop to answer them—before I start helping them. Their answers determine my effort.
My friend Gerald Brooks says, “Every level of growth requires a new level of change.” How true. We can change and not necessarily grow, but if we grow we will change.
Early in my career I felt that I would find something I did well and then do that the rest of my life. Initially, I thought that meant being a pastor. However, my reality is that I have changed career roles at least ten times. Here are some of my past and current roles: preacher, pastor, speaker, trainer, resource provider, consultant, author, mentor, company founder, leader, entrepreneur, and father figure. That is a lot of changes. Each fit my giftedness, but how I apply it has changed and grown. Growth is our only guarantee that tomorrow is going to get better.
There are many doors of opportunity that lie before you. You must open and walk through those doors in order to go to the next level of your life. Many of those doors will not be what they seemed in the beginning. There will be times when you’ll need to turn around, close that door, and go in a different direction. That’s okay. This is all a part of change. When a door doesn’t lead somewhere worthwhile, make a U-turn. I have done this often. Over the years, I’ve closed a lot of doors. I’ve even developed a set of questions for when to close doors. Ask yourself these questions. Every yes is a sign that it’s time to turn around and close the door behind you:
1. Is this door less promising today than the day I opened it?
2. Did this door have surprises behind it that are not beneficial to my development?
3. Have I failed to discover anything of value or to do everything that is behind this door?
4. Am I missing other doors of opportunity because this door is so time-consuming?
5. Would I avoid going through this door again, knowing what I now know?
By the way, if you’re not sure if you’re answering those questions honestly, then ask yourself one more: Would the people who know me best agree with my answers to the previous five questions?
While you are thinking about your answers to those questions, keep these ideas in mind:
1. Don’t be afraid of backtracking. When you do it correctly, you haven’t lost ground; you’ve just found your footing.
2. Don’t close a door until you know the lesson you have learned from that experience.
3. Don’t close a door to quit. Go to another door. When you leave something, have something to go to.
4. If you keep opening and closing the same doors, the problem is not lack of opportunities. The problem is you. Ask the people who know you best and love you most to speak honestly into your life.
Change can be difficult to master, yet change is always required for growth. I hope you find these insights about doors of opportunity helpful as you navigate through uncharted waters.
In my book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, I teach the Law of Modeling, which says it’s hard to improve when you have no one but yourself to follow. That’s why good modeling and an expectation of growth are so important in a positive growth environment. Ideally, that modeling should occur from the very top, all the way down into every area of the organization. Nobody is too high or too low to grow.
You can determine if you’re in an environment where growth is modeled and expected by asking these two questions:
1. Who brings the best out of me in this organization?
2. Who do I bring the best out of in this organization?
If you can readily list the names of people who are bringing the best out in you, and others could write your name as a model of growth, then you are in a growth environment.
I hope you will make growth a priority for yourself and the people in your life today. It is one of the most important and profitable choices you can make. Sadly, too many people don’t. Instead of the journey of growth, they go on what I call the Niagara Journey. They jump into the river of life, like someone going tubing, and float their way down. They don’t become proactive. They don’t choose their destination. They just let the river take them. They let the current choose their course and their speed. They are led by their environment instead of by their values.
Then one day as they’re floating along, they hear the sound of raging waters. Finally, they’re awakened to their situation. But by then, it’s too late. The current has them. They’re going to take a fall. Sometimes it’s an emotional fall. Sometimes it’s a physical fall. Sometimes it’s a financial fall.
The time to save yourself from a fall is now, not when you’re already downstream. Choosing to increase your growth capacity does exactly that. It’s directing your own course. It’s like building your own vehicle, getting out on the open road, and choosing your own destination. It’s being as active as you can be in your own destiny. I hope you choose that course.
1. How many of the ten characteristics described in the chapter does your current environment possess? What does that say about that environment? Do you need to make any changes? If so, what are they?
2. Who have you actively chosen to mentor you in your life? Do you currently have a mentor? If not, who should you approach to help you become better?
3. What direction would you like to go in your life? How do you need to grow to get there? What steps can you take today to start you off in that direction?