When you marry someone, hopefully it’s because you love them. You decided that they are the one person who you could spend the rest of your life with. What we seldom consider is that they come with a whole bunch of other people who you did not approve of but who will now be in your life forever.
And the most dangerously invasive of all these new relatives is their parents.
Your spouse has a relationship with these people. A lifelong relationship that may be great, may be terrible, but, either way, you are a fool to get involved. You cannot honestly express your feelings about these people. It is not your place. You must remember that you are there to support your spouse, not comment on her parents, regardless of how awful they may be.
Even when your spouse goes on a tirade about them, just nod your head and don’t say a word. Take the same approach when one of your friends breaks up with their boyfriend/girlfriend. You might feel free to finally attack them and say everything you’ve always wanted to say, but keep in mind there’s a real good chance they’ll get back together and you’ll have to sit across from them at dinner.
So I won’t comment on my in-laws, I’m not that dumb. Especially in a book that will forever be on some shelf somewhere as long as there are shelves and, God willing, books. And I’m not just avoiding the bad things—and there are bad things, horrible things—but also the good.
I will not thank them for successfully raising their beautiful daughter who ultimately became my wife. I wasn’t around when she lived at home with them, and as difficult as it is for me to believe, they somehow got past their psychotic behavior and raised her into a beautiful, thoughtful woman. I don’t ask how.
If I were to thank them for that, then it would be intellectually unfair to not include all the negative things that I have seen, in the time that I have been around. And why would I want to do that, to point out their shortcomings? That’s not nice.
Why would I spend time exposing all their selfish, self-obsessed attitudes, when I have to continue to see them? That wouldn’t be smart. Wouldn’t that just make them crankier than they normally are? Wouldn’t that make them torture my wife with more inane, guilt-filled phone calls? No. I refuse.
I won’t attack these two people who try to belittle everyone in their family, without ever looking in the mirror and trying to fix the failures in their own lives. I’m no dummy.
I made a promise on our wedding day to protect my wife, but sometimes it is best to protect the ones you love by quietly keeping things to oneself until I can mock them onstage and hope that no one is recording it.
It’s better that I just live my life and not get involved.
That being said …