Reinvent Me

Congratulations! By opening this book, you’ve just taken the first step toward reinventing your life – and I’m so excited for you. As you work through the Reinvent Me programme, be prepared for an exciting, interactive experience!

I’ve successfully reinvented my life and career in more ways than one and I’ve written this book to share the tools

I used. I’m passionate about helping people to find the courage within to fulfil their dreams. I know more than anyone that reinvention is not an overnight job – it takes courage, perseverance and hard work, but by following my reinvention programme, the journey will be that bit easier for you. By doing the exercises in each chapter, you will gradually take steps toward achieving your goal and grow in confidence as you see your reinvention come to fruition.

For those of you who aren’t aware of my background, I was a champion professional dancer before becoming one of the original cast members of one of Britain’s most successful TV shows, Strictly Come Dancing, a global phenomenon which went on to become known as Dancing with the Stars worldwide. In 2008, my sixth series, I achieved my dream of winning the show with my celebrity partner Tom Chambers, but then made the controversial decision to quit. And this is where my reinvention really began. Performing and being a ‘celebrity’ had its perks, but it was no longer rewarding in itself and I wasn’t as happy and contented as I knew I could be.

I wanted to fulfil my dream of moving to Los Angeles and, having completed my training in 2009, become a Life Coach and hypnotherapist. I had used these tools throughout my life in sports and TV to achieve my goals, and I had reached a place where I felt passionate about using them to help other people. I was also seeking who I really was, so my reinvention was as much a personal journey as it was a major career change.

I am now a successful Life and Mindful Living Coach and a certified hypnotherapist, with clients from all over the world in my Los Angeles and London clinics. I have used the programme of exercises in this book personally and with many clients, both one-to-one and in workshops. I know from personal experience the power of the exercises and how effective they are in helping people to find what they truly want in life.

I have been fortunate to work with many clients from all walks of life, including many celebrities, and have successfully helped them to make major positive life changes. I have lifted many trophies throughout my career, but nothing beats the feeling of empowering someone else and watching that person ignite their power and confidence and step into their light. That to me is truly magical and what life is all about. That is why I wanted to write this book, so that you, the reader, could step into your own power and connect with the beauty and creativity you have inside of you.

Nowadays, it has become acceptable to reinvent ourselves – unlike earlier generations, we are no longer expected to accept our situation. In fact, people are expected to move with the times, to grow and to learn to keep up with an ever-changing world. People very rarely stay in a job for life and many move on if a relationship is making them unhappy.

It’s common for people to talk about their ‘journey’ as they go through different experiences – both good and bad – and grow and change. Even though this freer approach to life opens up more opportunities, it also involves us taking more risks and sometimes making difficult decisions. Although it’s widely much more acceptable to change course, we can still meet resistance from ourselves and others, which is why it helps to follow a programme and use effective self-help tools, or work with a Life Coach.

Perhaps you want to make a big life change, such as start a new career, relocate or start or end a relationship. Or you might want to make small changes within – perhaps find new hobbies and interests – to challenge you and help you live a more contented and fulfilled life. Perhaps you don’t know yet what you want to reinvent – you just know that you want something to change – and that’s fine too. As you read through this book and do the exercises, you will come to discover what reinvention means to you.

As a Life Coach I’ve worked with clients on many different types of reinvention – parents who have been at home raising children, then lacked confidence to return to the workplace; clients who have worked their whole lives in a profession and then suddenly had no drive or passion for it at all; people who are unhappy in a relationship, but are fearful of letting it go. But behind all these practical changes, there is often a deeper reinvention. As you start to make life changes, you will peel back the layers to discover who you really are.

You may not, in fact, be reinventing yourself, but actually uncovering the real you that was there all along. This has certainly been my experience.

When you reinvent your life, whether personally or professionally, other changes may follow, creating a snowball effect and opening up opportunities in different areas of your life. In the midst of chaos, these opportunities can be missed so it’s important to raise your awareness and identify them when they present themselves. Instead of being stressed and frustrated, you will start attracting different connections and people into your life because you have created time to observe and perceive situations differently. It really is true that ‘the change starts with you’ – small but conscious changes you make every day can affect your life in more ways than you may be able to imagine now.

One barrier to change might be your own attitude. When you think of your goal, do you find yourself making negative statements? ‘I’m too old to learn that.’ ‘I don’t have the talent for that.’ ‘I’m not creative enough for that.’ ‘I live too far away to be able to do that,’ and so on. Start to become aware of how you speak about yourself when you’re thinking about your goal. Having the right attitude and self-belief is key to your reinvention, and I promise that as you work through this programme it will leave you feeling much more positive about yourself and the changes you want to make.

Making any sort of change can be overwhelming in the beginning, so I’ve divided the REINVENT programme into eight clear, achievable parts that you can do at your own pace. Consider this book as a friend who gently reminds you to take steps of action toward achieving your goal. At each stage, I encourage you to connect with your intuition and allow it to guide you. Be brave and honest with yourself as you do the exercises – this will help you get to the bottom of the changes you need to make to ultimately unravel your true self, and get on the right path toward your reinvention.

Before we get started, let me explain how to work your way through the programme. Each of the letters of REINVENT represents a part of the programme from ‘1. Recognize’ the need to change to ‘8. Transformation’, as you turn your dream into a reality. I recommend reading the entire book and committing to the exercises if you want to get the full benefits.

REINVENT

RECOGNIZE: Work out where you are at and where you need to go.

EGO: Learn how to free yourself from ego-based decisions.

INNOVATION: Plan what action you need to take to start turning your dream into a reality.

NOW: Stop procrastinating and start taking action!

VISUALIZE: Visualize your reinvented life and find the courage within to start your new venture now.

EVOLVE: Learn to go with the flow of life and become more you.

NURTURE: Discover why it’s essential to nurture your talents and yourself as you go through the process of reinvention.

TRANSFORMATION: Commit to your reinvention and embrace the new you!

If you’ve already started on your reinvention journey, you may want to dip into the particular sections that are relevant to you at the time. However you read the book, I hope it will bring you clarity, focus and happiness. In each of the eight parts, you’ll find the following:

Definition: Short definitions invite you to think about what the word actually means to you and how it will play a role in your reinvention.

My story: Throughout the book I’ve shared my story with you, as I want you to know that I have walked the walk. I’ve been through the reinvention process and both struggled and soared. And although I’m now a successful Life Coach helping people to reinvent themselves, I will always be a student too – learning, evolving and changing. Being able to see things from both sides of a situation allows me to bring a flexible approach as a coach.

Exercises: In each part of the programme there are exercises that will help you connect with your deepest desires and learn about yourself. I’ve explained meditation, affirmations and visualizations on pages 9–12. If you’re not familiar with these techniques, I recommend that you read that section before you begin the programme.

The exercises in each chapter are designed to gradually build as a programme, helping you work toward your reinvention goal and take that first step of action. I hope you find them interesting, fun and inspiring! There are sections to fill in throughout the book as you do the exercises as well as a journal at the end of the book. This will become your reinvention journal and you can refer to it again and again as you achieve this particular goal, or the next time you want to reinvent a different part of your life. Alternatively, you may prefer to work on the exercises separately in a more private notebook or journal. Do whatever feels most comfortable to you.

Successful reinventions: Every day I come across people who tell me their inspirational stories and I wanted to share some of them here. I’m hoping that you will connect with one or all of them, see some of yourself in their stories and realize that if they can do it so can you. The more I interviewed people from different walks of life for this book, the more I was reminded that we really aren’t all that different from each other and no matter how we were raised and whatever our financial situation, we go through very similar emotional challenges and journeys. I believe we are all here to learn and to find our way home to feeling whole and content within and we all have our different ways of doing it. Some do it willingly and some wait until a situation pushes them to do so.

Overcoming barriers: I’ve included answers to some of the common questions I get asked, which I hope you will find useful if you have similar concerns.

Affirmations and quotes: Ever since I was a teenager, I have loved quotes and affirmations. I used to cut them out of magazines and hand them to friends to inspire them, and I would have various ones in my diary and on my desk that made me feel good to read. This is my wish for the ones I have created for you. I hope they make you smile and inspire you to be all that you are capable of being.

Throughout the programme, I use meditation, visualization and affirmations. Refer back to this section as much as you need to until you feel more practised in using these tools.

Meditation: Everyone can meditate and it really is one of the most effective self-help tools. Research is continually proving more of the amazing benefits of meditation, including that it helps to lower blood pressure, improve concentration and decrease stress and anxiety. I am passionate about teaching meditation and sharing my passion for it, both as a teacher

and as a student, because I have felt the benefits in my own life and seen how it has helped to improve the lives of my clients. In this book I share some of my favourite guided meditations with you, some of which I have recorded especially for this programme and that you can listen to for free by going to www.zenme.tv/reinventme/.

A common question I get asked all the time by people starting out in meditation is ‘How do I switch my thoughts off?’ So let’s just clarify something here – we can’t switch our thoughts off, even with meditation. We have about 60,000– 80,000 thoughts a day, so when it feels busy in our minds it’s because it is! However, what we learn through meditation is that we can choose what we focus on and practise over and over again, bringing our focus back to one thing. That might be our breath, a mantra, an affirmation or even a colour. For example, while meditating you might think, ‘I forgot to write that email today. Oh no they will think I’m rude…’ and then the train of thought and worry sets in. So when that thought comes, acknowledge it, but then bring your focus straight back to your breath, breathing in and out. When the next thought comes, because it will, again bring your focus back to your breath and so it continues. You will slowly start to become the observer of your thoughts and adopt a non-judgemental approach, just allowing the thoughts to pass by like clouds in the sky.

This practice for the mind is very similar to working your muscles at the gym – the more you do it, the easier it will become. And the most wonderful thing is that the more you practise, the more you will be able to use this skill in everything you do, becoming more present in every moment and able to give each thing you do your full attention. Meditation will also help you to become less reactive in situations where a considered response is more helpful – it allows you time to assess. So as you meditate, invite thoughts and noises around you to come and go and know that they are a reminder for you to bring your focus and awareness back to your breath.

Visualize: I learnt to visualize as part of my sports training when I was 13 years old and this tool has followed me through life like a dear friend. Visualization is more of an active meditation in that you are intentionally imagining something. When thoughts come and go, you can still go back to your breath to bring your focus back to what you are visualizing. I truly believe that visualizing a goal, task or dream as successfully accomplished helps you to achieve it in reality. When you go within and get still in both meditation and visualization you allow for your breath and thoughts to slow down a little and for a certain amount of space to appear between each thought. In this space, clarity, inspiration, intuition, peace and calm can appear. You allow yourself to connect with your true self and to feel connected to your deepest desires.

Affirmations: An affirmation is basically a positive statement we repeat over and over again. We create these statements for ourselves so that they can become our reality. I love using positive affirmations in my life, which is why I have included them at the end of each chapter. Feel free to adapt them or write your own.

It’s important when creating the affirmation to remember to make them in the first person ie. ‘I’, and present tense not future tense. For example, ‘I am strong’, not ‘I’m going to be strong.’ ‘I am full of energy and focused.’ Writing these positive statements on your phone, diary or a vision board, and repeating them in your mind or out loud to yourself in the mirror, can really help you to achieve your goals.