Reinvent Me

So are you now ready to walk the walk as well as talk the talk?! You have an idea of how you would like to reinvent your life, but where do you start? Often goals and dreams remain in our head because of that nagging, negative inner voice (we all have one) that tells us they are unobtainable or we are not worthy of achieving them. In this part of the programme, you’ll discover why it doesn’t have to be that way and how to innovate ie. how to start turning those dreams and goals into reality.

I’m not going to pretend it’s easy to innovate – it may seem overwhelming at times – and that’s why all too often people give up on their goals. And even though many people believe that money and luck play a part in realizing our dreams, what’s more important are, in fact, perseverance, commitment, discipline and willpower.

I have had many ideas throughout my life and set myself many goals that seemed unobtainable at first. But by breaking those goals down into achievable parts, keeping the vision and working hard, I have turned them into reality. I’ve realized over time that the more I commit to making my goals and ideas a reality, the more I achieve them. I have built up inner confidence and belief that having done it once, I can do it again.

You may feel that your ideas or dreams are out of reach, too complicated and too big. It’s common to feel this way in the beginning. So many people have told me they were overwhelmed when they first started out on their quest and that they had no idea how to make what they really wanted happen.

To achieve a goal you need to break it down into manageable chunks and then tackle it step by step. As they say, ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’ – maybe not in a day, but let’s remember it still got built eventually! Take, for example, a middle-aged man whose dream it is to become a long-distance runner and one day complete a marathon. If he had the idea one day and then tried to run the marathon the following week or month, he’d be highly likely to fail. Instead, he starts with small goals and gradually builds up the stamina and skills he needs to successfully run a marathon one day. He follows a very specific plan – perhaps starting with a 5k race, building up to a 10k race and then a half marathon. Maybe he also takes some practical measures such as eating a healthy diet that supports his running, giving up smoking and seeking the advice of other long-distance runners on how to train. If you break down your ideas into smaller goals in much the same way, the whole thing becomes much less overwhelming and more achievable.

It can help to read about or talk to others who have realized their dreams – those who have overcome fears and adversity and made small ideas into big successes, whether personally or in business. I remember someone telling me years ago, if you want to do something surround yourself with people who have already done it or others who you feel inspired by.

So how do you handle that negative voice? We are brilliant at talking ourselves out of a good idea with thoughts like, ‘It’s been done before’, ‘I don’t have the resources to follow this through’, and ‘I don’t know how to make this happen’. But, believe me, you are undoubtedly far more resourceful than you give yourself credit for! Those negative thoughts are normal, but just remember that every time a thought like that comes into your mind you have a choice – you can believe that thought or you can make a conscious decision to switch it and think the exact opposite. For example, ‘I don’t know how to make this happen’ becomes ‘I will make this happen’ or ‘It’s been done before’ becomes ‘Similar things have been done before, but I’m putting my spin on it and my passion into it, which will make it unique.’

When people ask me, ‘What can I do to make this happen?’ I say, ‘You can begin by getting started,’ so what are you waiting for? Take a look at the exercises in this chapter and let’s innovate!

I have had to innovate many times in my life, not least by moving to England to fulfil my dream of becoming a champion dancer and then to California to fulfil my dream of becoming a Life Coach. Many people tell me I’m lucky and assume it was easy for me, but none of it came about by me choosing a point on a map and then wishing myself there. It came about by having an idea, making a plan and working out the steps I needed to take to achieve my goal.

When I first dreamt of moving to California in my thirties, that was all it was – a dream. I wanted to innovate both my professional and personal life. I wanted a better balance and to live an outdoor lifestyle in a place where I wasn’t defined by being a successful professional dancer and celebrity. After a few years I started researching what it would take to make this a reality. I asked people who had made such a move what it entailed. There were people who were helpful and people who weren’t, and there was advice that put me off and advice that encouraged me.

In the end I considered all the information I had gathered, followed the advice that felt right in my gut and sat down and wrote a plan of what I needed to do. This included moving out of our house and renting it out, putting our belongings in storage and living with family for a while to save money. It involved applying for a working visa, finding somewhere to live and planning what to do once we got there. And so it went on, until 18 months later when we found ourselves actually living in California!

Once we had moved, I had to keep being mindful of the fact that I wanted to find balance in my life, given that it had been top heavy with work for most of my life. This meant not allowing work to take over my life again like it had in the past and allowing myself to have time off to do the things I enjoy, such as having more time with my husband, walking the dogs, spending time outdoors and studying new things. It also meant making mindful decisions when it came to our lifestyle, such as the size of the property and car we chose. I had learnt that everything in life has its price, taking up our time and energy often to the detriment of time for ourselves, and our families and friends.

Another dream I turned into reality was to write my first book, Strictly Inspirational. I didn’t, however, have that idea and turn it into reality overnight. I wrote down ideas and thoughts that I then turned into a book proposal. I spoke to people about how to get a book published. I found the right publisher. It all took time, work and rejections before it eventually happened. It’s been the same with this book – it started with an idea for a self-help programme. I then worked the idea up slowly, interviewed people and worked with the publisher, then I started writing it, chapter by chapter.

Sometimes it’s just good to start, even if you’re not sure where your idea will go. Often when I sit down to brainstorm a new magazine article, I have an initial idea but it’s not until I actually start writing that the full picture emerges. There has to be an element of trusting the process. I tend to ‘jump’, ie. I commit, and then I work out how to ‘swim’, ie. then work out the finer details.

When I choreographed dance routines, it was a similar process. I knew the end result I wanted, so I would work backwards: how many dancers do I need? What sort of story do I want to tell with my choreography? I would always start by writing down the things I was sure of and then add the other parts as I went along. I also learnt a long time ago that making mistakes along the way is okay as long as we learn from them. Some of the best dance steps I ever created with my partner came from going wrong – in that moment it was as if magic happened and something unique was created.

I remember fondly people asking about a specific step we did and knowing that it happened by ‘mistake’! So to innovate there has to be a certain amount of planning but also a certain amount of evolving – something we’ll look at later in part 6.

Let’s get to work and take that first step together by making a plan.

Ask yourself:

What can I do today to start my reinvention plan?

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Think of one thing, however small, that will bring you a step closer to your goal. Write it down.

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Then carry on with the list…

What’s the second thing I can do in a week’s time?

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Then…

What can I do in a month’s time?

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Do you have an entire plan? Don’t worry if there are gaps to fill out later. It’s important to leave room to be flexible and modify things as you go. Once you have these steps written down it will help you to feel more focused and clear about your journey and make it easier to get started.

This meditation is a great way to kick-start your reinvention. It is one of my favourite meditations and I hope you are going to love it as much as I do. I created it because meditation is such a big part of my life and I have experienced such amazing benefits. I will go as far as to say meditation has changed my life. Before you begin, if you’re new to meditation, you might want to read the general guidance on pages 9–11.

When we get still and allow ourselves time in silence we allow ourselves to connect with our intuition, inspiration and calmness within and this has a very powerful effect on our minds. We allow the anxiety to settle and the voice of doubt to subside and instead invite in clarity and focus.

So are you ready to plant your seed, ie. your idea, goal and dream, in the garden of opportunity and wait for the innovation to happen? If so, let’s go!

Sit or lie down somewhere comfortable, where you will not be disturbed. Close your eyes or lower your gaze. Sit rather than lie down if you think you may fall asleep. Bring your awareness to your breath. Notice where in your body you feel your breath and then just allow it to be exactly there.

We have about 60,000– 80,000 thoughts a day, so thoughts will come and go throughout the meditation. Instead of resisting them, just allow them to come and go and each time you notice a thought let it be a reminder to bring your focus back to your breath.

Start counting as you breathe in 1, out 2, in 3, out 4 and so on until you reach 20. Repeat this a few times until you start to feel relaxed. Then imagine that you are walking into the most beautiful garden you have ever seen. Notice all the trees and the flowers and any other surroundings. This is your garden of opportunity.

As you look around the garden and all its beauty, you start to realize it’s all created simply by the seeds that were planted and then nurtured. Consider for a moment that when we plant a seed in the garden, we don’t stand over it and say, ‘Grow, grow, hurry up.’ No, we plant it and walk away knowing that it will grow with water, sun and air.

Imagine now if your ideas, dreams and goals can do the same. See yourself holding a seed in your hand that represents your idea or dream. Now plant it somewhere in the garden.

After you have planted it, sit for a minute and imagine this seed growing and blooming and turning into an amazing flower or tree, just like your idea or dream blossoming and happening.

Imagine yourself taking steps of action toward making it happen. Notice what it feels like, sounds like and looks like as you imagine doing some of these things.

Finally, imagine what it will feel like once you have achieved it and your innovation has happened. How do you feel? Are you happy, excited, calm? Just notice what you notice without judgement and then go ahead and open your eyes knowing that you have successfully planted your seed in the garden of opportunity.

How did you feel after the meditation? You might want to write down your thoughts and feelings. Repeat this exercise as often as you like and plant as many seeds as you wish in your garden of opportunity. To listen to this free guided meditation, go to http://www.zenme.tv/reinventme/.

I guess I’ve always been an innovative person. When I finished my degree in English Literature, aged 24, I immediately wanted to go in a completely different direction. I had always considered myself a creative person and I wanted to explore that side of myself in more depth. So, I decided to take a degree in design and textiles before I went on to set up a successful shop selling my own designs. I had succeeded in proving to myself, rather than others, that I was capable of achieving whatever I set out to do, but I found that gradually my ego started to grow. I got used to people telling me they loved my designs and how clever I was, which I enjoyed at the time. However, a few years in, I started to realize that although I felt extremely lucky to be running a successful business, it had begun to feel superficial. I noticed that I felt alone and pretty empty inside and I didn’t want to feel this way any longer. I knew things had to change and so began the next step of my reinvention … I decided to study psychotherapy.

Innovation is all about taking steps toward your goal and each time I had a new idea to pursue, I didn’t immediately know how it would work out, but I started with something I could do: for example, with design I took a course and learnt about textiles etc. With psychotherapy, I found the right education, studied and built up my own practice and kept adding to this by taking a degree in teaching and personality psychology. This path led me to becoming a youth counsellor, a role that I love and that gives me so much fulfilment. Although this was a complete career change, I still use my creativity to connect with and help people when counselling.

I have learnt so much about myself through my reinvention journey. I’m now in my late forties and my priorities are certainty and security, which weren’t as important to me when I was younger. Even so, I will never sacrifice my own happiness for a job that is no longer in line with my values and beliefs, and if that means walking away and starting over again I will do it in a heartbeat. I will keep living, evolving and inspiring in the way that is true to me.

Everything I have learnt has brought me to where I am today. Innovation for me has been key in life, both personally and professionally, as I’m a curious human being with a need to constantly evolve and change. No matter how small or big the change or goal has been and no matter the challenges, I have always had a strong, yet almost naïve, inner belief that somehow it will all work out.

I’m scared of failing. How can I get past this fear to take that first step?

Two things really help to get past the fear: firstly, focus on what you are good at, the skills that you know you have – this will boost your confidence immediately because whatever the innovation, there will be one part that you know you can totally nail. Secondly, research as much as you can; draw knowledge and inspiration from people who have successfully done something similar and learn from their mistakes. Look for relevant online courses too.

In the past I went ahead with ideas that failed and ended up out of pocket at times, because I didn’t do enough research – that’s how I learnt and now I know better. However, I don’t see those attempts as failing because they have provided me with the foundation for what I do today and taught me valuable lessons such as researching, being patient and, above all, believing in myself. For me, the biggest failure would be not trying and then having regrets.

I’m usually a very impatient person, so the idea of breaking my goal down into small steps is not appealing. How can I get over wanting everything right now?

I can totally relate to this. Learning to have patience and trusting in the process of change was a major challenge for me, but one that has helped me tremendously in my life. Although

I often wanted everything right now, I learnt that breaking down a goal doesn’t mean you will get there any slower – quite the opposite, in fact. By breaking it down you allow yourself to be fully focused on what needs to be done in the moment, rather than wasting valuable time speculating on what needs to be done tomorrow or a week from now; this makes you efficient and gives you clarity to focus fully. Also as part of this slower and steady journey, you’re likely to learn valuable lessons and skills along the way, which will put you in a better and stronger position once your goal does come to fruition.

‘An idea born out of
passion will have enough
fire in its belly to make
it a reality.’

‘I commit to taking action
and trust all will become clear
as i keep moving forward
step by step.’