Iam writing this in the spirit of embracing chaos—because no matter how hard you try, you will somehow leave someone out and regret it for years, or at least until the next reprint. So, sorry and thank you to everyone.
Modeling agility requires some dismantling of behavioral patterns—the kind that compel me to want to write an entire book of acknowledgments, praising and touting everyone, including my mail person for all they have delivered to me. I’ll start with that—it’s all true. There have been epic deliverers at every turn. But if I rant too long, it will diminish those of you I held on to the tightest and longest during all my storms. Still, thank you, universe and all its inhabitants. Even you, Coconut the dog. Seriously. If I know you, you have touched me—whether you are Randy the doorman greeting me on my way in the office, Jim who makes my favorite kale juice, or you’re right up there on my iPhone Favorites with your own special ring tone, I love you. We are all connected. For real.
Since I’m trying to apply the wisdom of four years of therapy with my trusted Lyla, who helped me recognize my shame-fueled tendency to default into perfectionism mode, I am remembering my therapeutic homework right now. That even if I hurt someone’s feelings, reparations can be made, and I don’t need to make a lifelong penance for it. It’s not gonna kill any of us. Whew. Thank you, Lyla. Your clinical magic is working. .
Thank you, teachers and students who are teachers.
Noam Chomsky, I admit to stalking you. You say not to search for heroes, but you are one of mine. Sorry not sorry.
Deborah Hermann, Nancy Biren Castino, and Gina Despres: The three of you are my teenage idols. Writing teachers are goddesses; you are that to me.
Even though my math anxiety still lives on, Bill Hebert came closest to setting me free. Thank you to you and Kris for introducing me to theatre, basketball and New York city.
Vance, the universe could not have delivered you at a more perfect time. You are a force of nature. Your capacity to navigate research and conviction for the work impresses me.
My graduate students who survived my Personal Branding class who were willing to get real and deconstruct authenticity with me. We all feel wobbly, but are stronger together as we’ve emerged out of hiding. Thank you for teaching me the lessons of integration in such compelling ways.
My undergraduate and doctoral students, even Where’s-the-Professor Guy, who showed me that at every level we continue to rumble with school shame, but that it doesn’t have to win.
So many of you lit up my life from day one, and continue to do so: Wonman, MJ, Nicolette, Shelby, Brittany, John, Andrea, Tom, Katy, Danielle, Stephen, April, and Curtis—you are luminaries.
To Scout Design Studio at Northeastern—Alexa, Christina, Jena, Joe, Kevin, Molly, Brennan, and Nick for your extraordinary partnership.
To the Dream Team—Joy, Thor, Kim, Rebecca, and Abbé. Each of you have been my eyes, hands, and legs. Your mission minds will continue to take you far, and I believe in your infinite potential. I cherish every conversation and minute spent with each of you. We have accomplished everything we set out to, yet we’ve only just begun.
Thank you, dear colleagues and dynamic circles.
To those who have bravely come to see me for therapy. I hold your stories with me in my heart, ee cummings style. You are beautiful Inkblots to behold. Thank you for your trust and gumption.
Linda Elder, for your steadfast work to spread critical thinking. When you shared your art of Richard with me, I was at a loss for words, and still am. You epitomize intellectual agility and humility.
Susan David, for being such a champion of agility. You mesmerize.
Amy Morin, whose extraordinary strength has inspired the world.
Robert Brooks, for staying on the phone longer with me than you had time for, and modeling the virtues I aspire to.
Allen Frances, for covering more ground with me in fifteen minutes than most can in that many years. Your rebellion sparked one in me.
Douglas Bernstein, Doris, and the incredible folks at NITOP and VICTOP, including Steve. I’ve never squeezed onto such a small balcony with so many kindred souls. Best fireworks ever.
My incredible colleagues at Northeastern. This is where I could get carried away and ramble on for ten pages. All of you mean something distinct and special to me: Jane, Sara, Carol, Tova, Chris, Gail, Joe M., Joe V., Michael, Camelia, Ellen, Julie, Ian, Francesca, Stephanie, Patty, Carl, Earlene, Francesca, Siu Ming, Fred, Lynda, Ian, Liz, Astrid, Kemi, Mike, Art, Tammy, Leah, Neenah, Kathy, Kristen, Nick, Laura, Chuck, Jacob, Lisa, Catherine, Teresa, Amy, Georgia, Carolyn, Janice, Peter, John, Emily, and Peggy—you’ve all managed to trigger my appreciation button repeatedly. Your thought partnership and friendship mean everything.
To my friends at TedX Ocala for helping me tell this complicated story, and Taipei American School, especially Dan Long, Catriona Moran and the wellness committee—you are all the ultimate conscious global citizens.
Tara, Christina, Camilla, Tom, and the entire Worcester State University community. Thanks for not kicking me out then and for embracing me so wholeheartedly now.
My friends at NAMI—the Chicken Car crew—Patrick, Alex, and Nate; Fred Frese, Rudy Caseres, Howard Trachtman, and the gorgeous gritty souls at GBCAN—I feel safer and more at home with you than I do most.
Mentalligent people I haven’t met but want to be like when I grow up: Jane Elliot, Jonathan Mooney, Lynne Twist, Elizabeth Gilbert, Rob Bell, Donald Miller, Anne Lamott, Glennon Doyle, Brené Brown, Mary Williamson, Danielle LaPorte, and Oprah Winfrey.
Scott T, for the reminders of the trade-offs for evil, and for seeing me before I could see myself.
Julia, for hugging me like the grandmother incarnate you are.
Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and my LGBTQ friends, especially Sister X, who saw my sadness and intervened.
Agapi, you’ve helped unbind my heart with your enormous heart and helped me look for synchronicity everywhere. Your happy dances fill me up.
Gary, you filled in missing pieces to my puzzle and gave me a map worth using—one without judgment or prescription, and by and for which I am awestruck and grateful.
Allison Janse, Kim Weiss, Bob Land, Lawna Oldfield, and the entire team at HCI, for your excellent thought partnership and commitment to promoting healthy living. Marilyn, for not running away when I told you I was going to be next, and for being the stellar global thinker you are. For surviving my Elaine Benes–style work-it proposals and pushing me where you knew I needed to go.
Thank you, family of origin, and
of divine intervention.
To Red, Michele, Mel, Laura, Jess, and my long-last Chap-Aid. You’ve given me some of the best memories of my life.
Karenporter, thank you for always mashing up my name, and for being real enough to make every human and animal in your presence 100 percent at ease. I miss your face.
Evangeline, our Boston walk talks and your hospitality have meant everything. You are that character in my novel who always manages to dance. We will return to Santa Fe.
Cameron, for teaching me what it means to be a Holder of the Frequency, and about unconditional human regard, metaphysics, and still water.
Ana, Eduardo, Liz, Joe, Odete, Gilbert, Uncle John, Uncle Joe, Nellie, Nathan, Elaine, and the hundreds of aunts, uncles, cousins, friends of bakers, hairdressers and factory owners who have adopted me even though I’m neither Portuguese nor Catholic. Beijinhos to all.
Lenny, Amanda, Kate, Elle, Jane, Nancy, Stacy, Matt, Hayden, and Harrison, spaghetti and Camp Costa are always on.
Karyne, Becky, Shelly, my three Lisa’s, Jerry, Jacqueline, Beth, Naz, Jean, Ken B, Pam, Ken, Michael, and Adam, for your new and enduring friendships. Even when I am in my writer’s cave or melancholic hiatus, you are with me the whole time.
Paul, your timing is impeccable—chartering a trip around the world at the precise time I endeavored to undertake this kind of project. Thanks for taking me along on the train and for your stellar insights and solidarity from our MH days.
Elizabeth—Thank you for everything, especially helping me reclaim inner Alanis. You’ve kept me from letting my brain swallow me whole more than once. I always know it’s you when the phone chirps five times in three seconds. It’s your turn.
Carol, the mother mentor, you are a model of mindfulness and intellectual humility. Plus, you are more fun to hang out with than teenagers on Red Bull. Thank you for yanking me out of my room and reminding me to breathe instead of working until my eyes start seeing white dots. You make me smile every time.
Karen, we haven’t had any fun yet. Your ability to laugh and love keeps me going.
Kathy, the queen of generosity. You have more stories than Forrest Gump but manage to keep your poker face. You’re the testament of human resilience. How you were able to hang through my chaos may be one of your most epic feats to date. You have breathed so much air into mentalligence, all while embodying it.
Heidi—You were the first I wrote to, and one who has put up with my spiral antics the longest. Don’t lose your Question Authority button. Thanks for the interpretative dances.
Ken, for answering a high percentage of my texts and for traveling this journey with me in your own unique way. I’ve always seen you, and that your brilliant art is only one small representation of your fabric.
Harry, Maura, Dana, Barbara, K, and Warren, and my huge squad of nieces and nephews. Thanksgivings can be uncomfortable sometimes, but I love you all. We’ve all got more unlearning to do; at least we’ve had some fun along the way.
To Mama and Papa, you are the foundation for my values, longings, and deep love for my neighbor. That’s the love I have for you, too, my bears. 143 forever.
Ryan, I know it’s redundant—you’ve heard me say it a thousand times and then some—but thank you for inspiring every page. This book is your book. I believe in your song.
Tori, I marvel at your tenacity and depth. You are a Boss. Always have, always will. And never a lunk. I miss you, yet you’re with me every second. There’s no one like you. Costa gang sign to you.
Scott, your gorgeous soul makes me smile. Thank you for being brave and real, and for spiraling with me for so long. You are a giant sparkler in my life.
To the ones I continue to offer much grief and praise for: Grandpa Fran, Margo, Grandma J, Nana Lee, Grandpa Lee, Grandpa Al, Maria, John, Auntie Jackie, Auntie Terry, Anna, and Lucy. Thank you for staying with me the whole time and for sending those Andes mints and Kit Kats to spook and stoke me, and for keeping watch during all those event–full moon fests.
Thank you, Divine Universe.
For all the spirals that have been and yet to come. I’ve traveled so far; the circles are endless.