Acknowledgments

We would need to apologize if we did not acknowledge our appreciation for the hundreds of couples who took time to complete our apology questionnaire and for the scores who gave us extensive interviews. Without their help, this book could not have been written. Many of these couples spoke honestly of their own failures at apologizing and forgiving. Others shared the journey that led them to discovering the art of apologizing effectively and finding the joy of reconciliation. The book is enriched by the honesty of these couples.

Both of us are also indebted to the couples and individuals who have turned to us for counsel. Many of the clients who have sat in our offices have been there because someone failed to apologize. Their stories have taught us the pain of rejection and, in some cases, the joy of seeing them learn how to give and receive an apology and thus open the door to forgiveness and reconciliation. We have changed their names and certain details to protect their privacy, but their stories add much to this book.

A special thanks to Tricia Kube, who computerized the manuscript and gave us great encouragement; to Shannon Warden, who created the “Apology Profile” found at the end of the book and who also was a great help in collecting and organizing our research questionnaires; and to Kay Tatum, our technical guru who made the manuscript presentable for the publisher. Also, a special thanks to Rob Eagar of WildFire Marketing for his skilled coaching.

We are also grateful to Greg Thornton, John Hinkley, Betsey Newenhuyse, and the wonderful team at Moody Publishers. Not only did they do a superb job of editing and positioning the book, they also gave us much encouragement as we did our research and writing.

Finally, we each want to thank our spouses, Karolyn and J.T., to whom we dedicate this volume. Without their love and support, neither of us would have had the emotional energy to complete the project. This book is a tribute to their generous spirits.

—GARY CHAPMAN, PHD

—JENNIFER THOMAS, PHD