EPILOGUE

CLAUDIA

In case you were wondering if Marcel’s RB’ing me meant that “Windmill” went viral, and millions of people listened to it, and it became a huge hit and launched my career as a famous singer-songwriter… that did not exactly happen.

The Blurt he RB’ed wound up getting millions of Blips, but most of the people who watched it never clicked over to listen to the whole song on MeVid. As of today, about 75,000 people have watched my “Windmill” video.

Which is awesome! I am very, very happy about this. And I am totally grateful to Marcel Mourlot, not just for saving me from certain doom, but for getting the word out about my music. Even though it turns out he RBs about twenty other people and/or companies every day.

The truth is, 75,000 views on MeVid might sound like a lot… but there are SO MANY people on the Internet that it’s not all that amazing. For example, my guitar teacher, Randy, has been putting his own songs on MeVid for years. And his most popular one got TEN TIMES as many views as “Windmill”… and it STILL wasn’t a hit. ^{Ed. Note: THINGS MARCEL HAS RB’D IN LAST 24 HOURS:–baby licking pit bull–man falling off couch–3 singer-songwriters (1 great, 2 ok)–4 comedians (2 funny)–5 energy drink ads (pretty sure he got paid for these)–woman burping national anthem}

RANDY

Kid, I am ALL kinds of proud of you. 75,000 views your first time out is an amazing start! But you gotta remember, I racked up 900,000 with “Rusty Heart.” And I’m still teaching 12-year-olds how to play guitar. So you gotta keep it in perspective.

Now go write some more songs that knock everybody’s socks off.

CLAUDIA

I will, Randy. Thanks for believing in me.

While I’m thanking people, I’d also like to give a shout out to my brother for letting me interview him ^{Ed. Note: (+ post embarrassing dog pics)} about what was basically the worst experience of his life.

REESE

It was pretty bad for a while there. But eventually, the Bewbees got bored and started hassling somebody else. So it’s fine now. Except I still can’t post any pics of myself on ClickChat, or somebody will turn my face into a dog poop meme in about thirty seconds.

Also, Xander wouldn’t talk to me for a couple days after Mom called Mrs. Billington and told her what happened.

XANDER

Snitchin’ on me wuz WEAK, yo! Mom-a-saurus done come down hard! She took my phone away three whole days!

CLAUDIA

Three days of no phone? After all the trouble you got Reese into? Xander, that is REALLY not harsh. At all.

REESE

Seriously, dude. That’s like the opposite of harsh.

XANDER

It was gonna be a month. But Mom-a-saurus can’t stay mad at her X-Boy. ’Specially after I was all, “Yo, I learned a valuable lesson from this!”

CLAUDIA

Really? This book’s all about valuable lessons. What was yours?

XANDER

CLAUDIA

Thanks, Xander. That’s incredibly helpful. ^{Ed. Note: (sarcasm)}

REESE

You know what’s really scary about the Internet? I spend, like, half my life on it. But I have NO CLUE how it even works.

And I kinda feel like Mom and Dad have even less of a clue.

DAD AND MOM (text messages)

(DAD) Nigerian prince just offered me $100K to help him get his money out of the country

(MOM) You realize that’s a scam, right?

Of course I do

I’m not completely stupid

Also the link in the email he sent was broken

OMG PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN’T CLICK THE LINK ^{Ed. Note: Dad clicked link, got virus, had to buy new laptop + change his credit card numbers}

CLAUDIA

That’s a very good point. And definitely scary. I don’t really know how the Internet works, either.

REESE

Maybe we should make a pact to, like, not go online AT ALL until we know how it works.

CLAUDIA

That’s a great idea. Except… if we’re not on the Internet, we can’t google “How does the Internet work?”

So how do we figure out the Internet without the Internet?

REESE

Oh, man… This is going to be hard.

IF YOU UNDERSTAND HOW THE INTERNET WORKS, PLEASE WRITE TO US AT:

CLAUDIA (AND/OR REESE) TAPPER
c/o LITTLE, BROWN BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS
1290 SIXTH AVENUE
NEW YORK, NY 10104
U.S.A.

THANKS FOR READING!!!