CONTENTS

  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Prologue
  5. 1 I Might Have Just Written a Hit Song
  6. 2 Jens Kuypers Broke Up with Me in a Text Message
  7. 3 Getting Huge Is Much Harder than It Looks
  8. 4 Blurt—The Worst/Best Site on the Internet
  9. 5 Reese Gets His Blurt On
  10. 6 Never Gamble with a Fembot
  11. 7 Reese Goes Viral
  12. 8 The King of the Cafeteria
  13. 9 The Mysterious Chupacabra
  14. 10 Reese and Xander Turn Pro
  15. 11 Attack of the Followers
  16. 12 James Mantolini, Visionary Blurt Artist
  17. 13 Reese Jumps the Shark
  18. 14 The Furry Menace Saves My Life
  19. 15 Reese Falls Down the Comment Hole
  20. 16 What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
  21. 17 Never Give Your Password to Xander
  22. 18 I Pin All My Hopes on Some French Guy
  23. 19 The Blowup at BlurtUp
  24. 20 Reese Gets Crushed by the Bewbee Army
  25. 21 Marked for Death by the Lovefighters
  26. 22 I Snatch Victory from the Jaws of Defeat
  27. 23 I Snatch Defeat from the Jaws of Victory
  28. 24 The French Guy Gets Involved
  29. Epilogue
  30. Special Thanks
  31. Illustration Credits
  32. About the Author

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