CHAPTER 2
JENS KUYPERS BROKE UP WITH ME IN A TEXT MESSAGE
CLAUDIA
Jens Ed. Note: “Jens” is pronounced “Yens” (he is from the Netherlands) (where J’s sound like Y’s) Kuypers and I went out for about four months. And we had gotten pretty close. So I really thought I knew him as a person.
Which is why it was basically devastating when he randomly texted me on a Tuesday night and broke up with me.
Since Jens has only lived in America for about six months, and his English still isn’t great, at first I didn’t really understand what he was saying.
JENS AND CLAUDIA (text messages)
Ok to just be friends from now? 
What??
I just want to be ur friend.
Not boyfriend
Are you srsly breaking up with me in a text?
Is it ok?
Calling u on FaceTime
Y aren’t you answering???
JENS
Sorry cant talk lots of homework tonight 
Ok if we talk tmrw before science class? 
Not ok
We need to talk NOW
Sorry really busy. Had soccer game earlier 
I cant believe this
R u mad
CLAUDIA
For the record, “mad” does not really come close to describing how I felt. It was maybe 10% of my total feelings. Ed. Note: other 90% of feelings were: -shocked -betrayed -confused -sad -barfy -heartbroken -MURDEROUSLY RAGEFUL
REESE
You were SO sad after that breakup! I felt so bad for you, I tried to get Mom and Dad to get a puppy to cheer you up.
CLAUDIA
You were just using my breakup as an excuse! You’ve been trying to get Mom and Dad to get us a puppy for YEARS.
REESE
I know. But I still felt bad for you.
PARVATI
Jens was just the worst. And I STILL think you should get back at him by posting that totally embarrassing pic on your ClickChat page.
CLAUDIA
I’d never do that. No matter how much he deserves it. It’s just too mean.
CARMEN
On the bright side, though, you DID get an awesome song out of it.
CLAUDIA
Like I said, I wrote a lot of songs about the breakup.Ed. Note: FULL LIST OF BREAKUP SONGS I WROTE: -Devastated -It’s Over -Brown Eyes, Black Heart -Deleted (aka The Swipe Left Song) -Textless -Jens Is a Yerk (WARNING: explicit lyrics) -Empty Vest -Brand New Me -Windmill But “Windmill” was definitely the best. It had an awesome riff, and the chorus (“One day you’re up and the next day you’re down / Life is like a windmill going round and round…”) was super catchy.
So I kind of suspected it was good. But I didn’t realize HOW good until I played it for my guitar teacher, Randy.
RANDY RHOADS, Claudia’s guitar teacher
I’m not jiving Ed. Note: Randy is from the 1970s you, kid. “Windmill” is a HOT song.
CLAUDIA
But you say that about all my songs.
RANDY
Well, yeah. But… I’m a guitar teacher. Being encouraging is half the gig. So even if some cat brings in a tune that makes me want to stab myself in the ear with a pencil, I gotta be all, “Great job, kiddo! Keep at it!”
CLAUDIA
Umm… this is actually kind of awkward. How many of MY songs have made you want to stab yourself in the ear with a pencil?
RANDY
Don’t go there, kid. We’re just talking “Windmill” right now. Which is HOT! No jive. That song could be on the radio.
CLAUDIA
After Randy told me it was great and helped me write a bridge Ed. Note: bridge = part in mid-song that’s different from the rest of the song for it, I played “Windmill” for my friends while we were all on a ClickChat video hangout.
And they pretty much loved it.
SOPHIE
If that song came up on a playlist, I would DEFINITELY check to see who the artist was. And I would get ALL her songs.
PARVATI
OMG IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING SONG EVER!
I was like, “I can’t believe this! You’re going to be a star! And I’m going to be in your entourage! SQUEEEEEE!”
CLAUDIA
Until my friends heard it, I hadn’t even been thinking about putting “Windmill” online. I knew for a fact that my idol, Miranda Fleet, didn’t start putting songs out until she was fourteen. So I figured I should wait until I was at least in seventh grade.
But after I played it for them, all three of my friends told me I absolutely had to put it out there and get huge.
So I did.