Pineapple Honey Bee, this page
Pineapple Honey Bee, this page
chapter 4
VODKA
The Most Popular Pour at the Bar
Finally! For this month’s cocktail club, you’ll be toasting with the number one player in the cocktail game: vodka. Despite being snubbed by connoisseurs, the numbers don’t lie—vodka beats every other spirit in bar sales, hands down.
It’s not hard to see why this little pour is so popular. When you order vodka, there’s no deciphering labels or vintages, and there is no wildly nuanced guessing game about how it will taste from brand to brand. It’s virtually aroma free, pours crystal clear, is easy to drink, and plays nicely with all sorts of other ingredients in the shaker, typically taking on the flavor of whatever you mix it with.
Generally, you can tell vodkas apart by how “hot” they are, or how much they burn the back of your throat when you drink them. While vodka may not be laced with complex flavors or aromas, different brands can be distinguished by subtle personality differences like a sweet note or an oily mouthfeel. Purity—in the sense of lacking any real distinctions—is actually lauded in this spirit category. Tiny disparities are barely detectable when it’s mixed up with juices, soda, or whatnot in a shaker, but tasting different vodkas straight up side by side might be eye opening if you’ve never had it pure before. This attribute gives vodka an open playing field, letting its cocktails venture into sweet, salty, bitter, and beyond.
The Vodka Situation
While vodka will prove to be the easiest spirit we’ll navigate this year, there are just a couple of variations with which to familiarize yourself. First off, vodka is made all over the world, with the most renowned regions being Russia, Poland, and Sweden. America, Canada, France, the Netherlands, and the U.K. all make tons of it, too. The fact is, with the consumption rates so high, there is room for everyone to get in on this spirit successfully.
Here are some of the most widely recognized brands and their countries of origin:
• Russia: Stolichnaya (a.k.a. Stoli), Russian Standard, Popov
• Poland: Belvedere, Chopin
• Sweden: Absolut, Karlsson’s, Level, Svedka
• America: SKYY, Hangar One, Charbay, Tito’s Handmade
• France: Grey Goose, Pinnacle
• Canada: Crystal Head
• Finland: Finlandia
• Netherlands: Ketel One, Van Gogh, Vox
• United Kingdom: Smirnoff, Three Olives
Making Vodka
Vodka is what is called a “rectified” spirit. This means the spirit has undergone repeated distillation, and for most vodka that means it has been triple distilled. Vodka is then filtered, usu-ally through charcoal, to remove any impurities, which are called congeners in the booze world. Crystal Head Vodka, packaged in a glass skull, is quadruple distilled, making it very smooth to drink. But they don’t stop there—this vodka is then filtered through 500-million-year-old crystals known as Herkimer diamonds. Lots of other brands belly up for this boozy throwdown and make all sorts of claims in order to distinguish themselves from other brands. One may use diamond dust, another rare sands, and a third might use quartz for filtering, with each claiming to produce a better-tasting vodka than the others (“better tasting” meaning “better feeling or smoother drinking,” since most unflavored vodka has very little taste).
SPEAKEASY
The famous vodka cocktail, the Screwdriver, gets its name from the oilmen out west, who were known for mixing their orange juice and vodka with their (actual) screwdrivers.
Besides its birthplace, another difference that can impact flavor is a vodka’s main ingredient. Vodka can be distilled from grains—such as wheat, barley, or rye, and even corn, as in the case of Tito’s Handmade. It can also be produced from potatoes and sometimes it is made from distilled spirits of fruits or sugar. Among connoisseurs (I even chuckle writing that), vodka from rye and wheat are considered the finest.
Typically, it is virtually impossible to distinguish the main ingredient in the vodkas we drink today. Don’t take my word for it: Taste test a chilled glass of Chopin—a potato vodka from Poland—against Absolut—a Swedish vodka made from wheat—and see if you can taste wheat or potatoes. Chances are you will not be able to distinguish the main ingredient.
Clear Vodka vs. Flavored Vodka
What’s your favorite ice cream? I bet they have a vodka in that flavor! Flavors that originally seemed cutting edge like Absolut Citron, a must for your Sex and the City-inspired Cosmos of the 1990s, or a fancy schmancy Grey Goose l’Orange martini, are timid in comparison to today’s flavor choices like birthday cake, s’mores, quince, saffron, root beer, bacon, or blueberry-pomegranate. The category continues to grow and it’s not just names of fruits, candy, and other edibles you’ll find in flavored vodka. You can now buy vodka experiences like “Loopy,” “Dude,” or even “Purple.” With flavored vodkas, your happy hour options have become infinite.
PARTY FAVOR
No need to have your glassware live in your freezer! To get a frosty patina, just rinse your glass in cold water and chill it in the freezer for 30 minutes before your guests arrive. You can also fill your glass with ice water and let it chill while you are mixing the drink, tossing out the ice and wiping down the glass before use. Avoid the freezer for fine crystal, because this is more delicate and cracks easily if exposed to freezing temperatures.
Since vodka is so easy to drink, it might not sink in that you’ve had one too many until it’s too late. Everyone has their own ideas for how to cure a hangover, and around the globe there are different rituals to tame the beast. For instance, the vodka-loving Russians believe that drinking pickle juice helps. There is no cure-all for hangovers, but there are things that help. Here’s the skinny on some popular myths and what you actually should be doing to curb a hangover and ease the pain.
• Avoid greasy food. While it may feel good going down after a night of cocktails, greasy food can actually make you feel worse. Instead make sure to eat before you drink.
• Skip the coffee. Caffeine can irritate an already uneasy stomach and exacerbate your dehydration.
• Indulge in eggs. They have an amino acid called cysteine that actually helps break down hangover-induced toxins.
• Ginger root is the cure. Again there is no cure-all, but ginger ale, ginger chews, or ginger candy will help soothe your stomach.
• Grab a banana! Bananas, and even kiwis, will help put lost electrolytes back in the body.
• Make a hangover kit. You never know when one after-work drink may turn into more, so keep a little hangover kit including breath freshener, ibuprofen, a bottle of water, and sunglasses in your car or at your desk.
PARTY FAVOR
The term “happy hour” originated back in the 1920s with the United States Navy, where the expression was used to indicate leisure time for the servicemen and -women. U.S. Navy cocktail club guidelines advise you all to preserve the tradition of celebrating that much-needed leisure time!
Different from happy hour, cocktail hour—typically the hour before dinner is served—began making an appearance during the Prohibition era. The daring types (a.k.a. fun friends) would venture into speakeasys, illegal underground establishments that served alcohol, and indulge for an hour before they headed out for a supper on the town. Whether you call yours happy hour or cocktail hour, or use both interchangeably, I’m sure you’ll agree that they rarely last only an hour.
As we mentioned previously, vodka doesn’t bring a whole lot to the glass in terms of flavor and aromas. So this month, what you’ll be looking for in the different pours is more about mouthfeel. Pay attention to how smooth it goes down: Does it burn or does it feel creamy? Do you like the way it tastes once you’ve swallowed your sip? Once again, we have a great mix of vintage cocktails, like the Basic Bloody Mary (this page), and new cocktails like the Pineapple Honey Bee (this page), so let’s get to sipping!
Tips for This Month
This month, you’ll need a cleared-off counter space, side table, or bar cart to set up your Bloody Mary bar. If you plan on making the Pineapple Honey Bee cocktail, it’s a good idea to get a pitcher and gather some mason jars ahead of time.
BASIC BLOODY MARY
SERVES 1
Ice cubes
½ cup (120 ml) tomato juice
1½ teaspoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
1½ ounces vodka
4 dashes of hot sauce (traditionally Tobasco)
2 dashes of Worcestershire sauce
Pinch of celery salt
Pinch of fresh ground pepper
1 celery stalk, for garnish
1 lemon wedge, for garnish
Add all of the ingredients except for the garnishes to a mixing glass or shaker filled with ice. Stir to chill.
Strain the mixture into a pint glass half full with ice. Garnish with the celery stalk and lemon wedge.
BLOODY MARY BAR
A Bloody Mary bar is a must for brunch, but can be just as much fun for happy hour, too. It’s also a great way to save on time, since small glasses filled with ice can be preset for guests to serve themselves. Encourage guests to use only 1 tablespoon (½ ounce) of vodka for each taster drink if they’re having other cocktails to taste at cocktail club.
Here are some ideas for accoutrements you can add to your spread for a DIY drink bar sure to please everyone in your crew:
• The Base: Start off with your favorite tomato juice (you may offer Clamato, too) and set up ingredients for guests to build their own.
• The Spirits: Here you can offer a variety of flavored vodkas. Some of my favorites in Bloody Marys are citron, bacon, pepper, and jalapeño.
• The Heat: Include a sampling of canned chipotle peppers, wasabi paste, horseradish, jalapeño peppers, Old Bay seasoning, and a selection of hot sauces.
• Garnish Galore: A bamboo cocktail skewer filled with some of the Quick Spicy Pickled Vegetables on this page coupled with a fresh celery stalk is my favorite way to garnish a Bloody Mary. Also delicious are pickled brussels sprouts, baby white turnips, caper berries, pickled string beans, a choice of marinated olives, celery, beef jerky, pickled carrots, pickled radishes, cocktail onions, and lemon wedges.
Finally, put out a small plate of salt and pepper with extra lemon wedges for guests to rim their glasses.
SERVES 1
The sordid story of how this drink got its name has to do with a surfer who’d consume too much and end up bumping into the walls. Thus, the Harvey Wallbanger. Essentially this is a Screwdriver with the Italian herbal liqueur Galliano added.
1½ ounces vodka
½ cup (120 ml) orange juice
¼ ounce Galliano liqueur
In an ice-filled highball or tall glass, pour the vodka and orange juice in together, then float the Galliano on top.
SHAKE IT UP
Harvey’s Mexican cousin is named Freddie Fudpucker. For this cocktail, substitute tequila for the vodka.
New Twists 
PINEAPPLE HONEY BEE
SERVES 4 TO 6
This cocktail calls for a new flavored vodka: pineapple honey, from the Little Black Dress Vodka collection. Made ahead and served in mason jars, it’s perfect for a party. This recipe is for a bigger batch, but it can easily be halved depending on how many are attending your cocktail club this month.
2 tablespoons honey
¼ cup (60 ml) warm water
1 cup (240 ml) pineapple or pineapple honey-flavored vodka
¼ cup (60 ml) freshly squeezed lemon juice, strained
½ cup loosely packed fresh basil leaves
Angostura bitters
Club soda
Lemon slices, for garnish
Dissolve the honey in the warm water. This can easily be done by combining the honey and water and warming it in a microwave for 30 seconds.
In a small pitcher, combine the vodka, honey water, and lemon juice. Add a couple of leaves of basil and 2 dashes of bitters to 4 to 6 mason jars or glasses and muddle with a wooden spoon.
When you’re ready to serve, fill the mason jars or glasses with ice cubes and divide the cocktail evenly among the glasses. Top each with club soda. Garnish with the lemon slices and serve.
SERVES 1
In January’s cocktail club, we established that a Martini was originally made with gin. However, ask most bartenders today what they reach for when someone orders a Martini and their answer will be vodka, a change that probably came about due to the rise in popularity of drinking dirty martinis. Olives love vodka and a bit of vermouth, so try it “dirty” this month and see if you do too.
Ice cubes
3 ounces (90 ml) vodka
1 dash of dry Vermouth
1½ teaspoons olive brine, or more depending how dirty you like it
2 olives, for garnish
In a shaker filled with ice, combine the vodka, vermouth, and olive brine. Shake until well chilled. Strain the mixture into a chilled martini glass and garnish with the olives.
WHITE COSMO
SERVES 1
We all know about the traditional Cosmopolitan cocktail, but this one brings a gorgeous new bottle to your bar with the addition of the elderflower liqueur from St. Germain.
Ice cubes
¼ cup (60 ml) vodka
1 ounce St. Germain liqueur
1½ tablespoons white cranberry juice
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lime or lemon juice
Lime or lemon wedge or twist, for garnish
In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, add all of the ingredients except for the garnish. Shake until chilled. Strain the mixture into a chilled martini glass and garnish.
KIWI VODKA TONIC
SERVES 2
This recipe calls for kiwis, but almost any fruit or herb combination, such as blueberry and lavender, will work alongside the tonic in this simple cocktail.
1 kiwi, peeled
2 teaspoons plain or mint-infused simple syrup (this page)
Ice cubes
3 ounces (90 ml) vodka
Tonic water
2 lime wedges
Slice 2 wheels (or rounds) of kiwi and roughly chop the rest. Divide the chopped kiwi and simple syrup between two rocks glasses. Lightly muddle together the simple syrup and kiwi.
Fill the glasses three-quarters full with ice. Divide the vodka evenly between the two glasses. Top each with tonic and add a squeeze of lime to each glass. Stir. Garnish each glass with a kiwi wheel to finish.
Eat Up!
Your Bloody Mary bar goes rockstar with the addition of Quick Spicy Pickled Veggies (this page) and a simple-to-prepare plate of smoked salmon and crème fraîche is perfect alongside a cold Kiwi Vodka Tonic. No need to be a trained chef to whip up some knockout nibbles: Each of this month’s dishes is simple to prepare, with impressive results that even a kitchen rookie can achieve.
SMOKED SALMON WITH CAPERS, CRÈME FRAICHE, AND PRESERVED LEMON
SERVES 12
24 good-quality water or seeded crackers
4 ounces (115 g) thinly sliced smoked salmon
4 ounces (120 ml) crème fraîche, store-bought or homemade (recipe follows)
3 tablespoons capers
2 to 3 tablespoons thinly slivered preserved lemon, or 2 tablespoons grated lemon zest
Top each of the crackers with an equal amount of the salmon. Dollop each with about 1½ teaspoons crème fraîche, sprinkle on a few capers, and finish with lemon slivers or a sprinkling of zest.
QUICK SPICY PICKLED VEGGIES
SERVES 12 TO 14
Serve these delicious pickled vegetables with some toothpicks for your guests to enjoy.
2 cups (480 ml) distilled white vinegar (5%)
¼ cup (75 g) pickling salt
2 teaspoons dill seed
1½ teaspoons cayenne pepper
8 ounces (225 g) fresh green beans, trimmed and cut into 1-inch (2.5-cm) pieces
6 jalapeño peppers, cut into ¼-inch (6-mm) rounds (seeded, for less heat)
3 medium carrots, peeled and cut in 1-inch (2.5-cm) sections on the bias
1½ cups (186 g) bite-size cauliflower florets
6 cloves garlic, peeled and slightly crushed
Add the vinegar, 2 cups (480 ml) of water, and salt to a saucepan and bring them to a boil over medium heat, stirring to dissolve the salt. Remove from the heat and add the dill seed and cayenne pepper.
In a clean quart jar or glass bowl, add vegetables to about ½ inch (12 mm) below the rim. Pour in the warm vinegar mixture to cover the vegetables.
Let them cool to room temperature. Put the lid on the jar or cover the bowl tightly with plastic wrap, and refrigerate the vegetables for at least 24 hours or up to 1 week.
Note: As an added bonus, there will be some brine left over, which you can store in the refrigerator and use to pickle something else.
TOMATOES, VODKA, AND SALT
SERVES 10 TO 12
24 cherry or grape tomatoes
Vodka
Coarse salt like kosher, sea, or fleur de sel
Pour a little vodka in the bottom of an olive tray (see Note) and place a single row of tomatoes right on top. Serve them with toothpicks and a side of coarse salt in a small bowl. Guests should prick a vodka-soaked cherry tomato and then just barely dip it into the small dish of salt to coat the bottom. This little hors d’ oeuvre couldn’t be easier to assemble or more fun to eat!
Note: You can find long, narrow olive trays or dishes at most home stores or specialty kitchen shops.
