A PERSONAL MESSAGE

Dear Reader,

Never in all my life have I had such a passion for a project as I have for writing this book—because family is what I care the most about, as I imagine you do also.

Applying the 7 Habits material to the family is an absolute natural. It fits. In fact, it’s where it was really learned. You’ll sense this when you read the marvelous stories of how families of every kind share how they applied the 7 Habits and what resulted.

I’m also sharing a lot about me and our family—how we’ve tried to apply it and also how we’ve blown it. Every family situation is unique and different. So is ours. But in many ways every family is similar. My guess is that we struggle with many of the same kinds of problems and day-to-day challenges you do.

One of the personal dilemmas I have in writing the book is just how much to share of our family stories, mistakes, and achievements. On the one hand, I don’t want to sound as if we think we have all the answers. On the other hand, I don’t want to hold back from sharing where my heart is and where I have really learned the remarkable power of the 7 Habits.

I’ve asked Sandra and the children to share also—the good and the bad. Their stories are set off with their names in bold. Perhaps we’ve gone overboard; about a fifth of the stories are about us. But the stories are only illustrations of principles, which are universal. You may not relate to the stories, but I believe you will relate to the principles. And I hope the stories will trigger new ideas that work in your situation.

With all this material, I want, above all, to instill a sense of hope that this way of thinking can really be helpful and can work for you. I know you want to prioritize your family, and I want to share with you a powerful way of doing this in our crazy, turbulent, often family-unfriendly world.

Finally, I firmly believe that family is the building block of society and that our greatest fulfillment lies there. I also believe the most important work we will ever do is at home. Former First Lady Barbara Bush said it beautifully to the graduating students at Wellesley College: “As important as your obligations as a doctor, lawyer, or business leader will be, you are a human being first, and those human connections—with spouses, with children, with friends—are the most important investments you will ever make. At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a child, a friend, or a parent.… Our success as a society depends not on what happens in the White House but on what happens inside your house.”1

I am convinced that if we as a society work diligently in every other area of life and neglect the family, it would be analogous to straightening deck chairs on the Titanic.

Sincerely,

Stephen R. Covey