NOTES

A Personal Message

1. Commencement address by Barbara Bush to the 1990 graduating class at Wellesley College (Wellesley College Library, Wellesley, Mass.), pp. 4–5.

You’re Going to Be “Off Track” 90 Percent of the Time. So What?

1. Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina (London: Oxford University Press, 1949), p. 1.

2. Governor Michael Leavitt of Utah, presented in a teleconference on the Governor’s Initiative for Families Today, March 1997.

3. Monthly Vital Statistics Report. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: National Center for Health Statistics, vol. 44, no. 11(S), June 24, 1996.

4. U.S. Bureau of the Census, as published in the Statistical Abstracts of the U.S., October 1996, p. 99.

5. U.S. Bureau of the Census, Current Population Reports, pp. 23–180, and National Center for Health Statistics, Advance Data from Vital and Health Statistics, no. 194.

6. National Center for Health Statistics, Mortality Statistic Branch: Vital Statistics of the U.S.: 1975–1990, vol. 2.

7. U.S. Department of Education, The Condition of Education. The Office of Educational Research and Improvement, 1996.

8. F. Byron Nahser and Susan E. Mehrtens, What’s Really Going On? (Chicago: Corporantes, 1993), p. 12.

9. U.S. Bureau of the Census, Current Population Reports, pp. 23–180, and National Center for Health Statistics, Advance Data from Vital and Health Statistics, No. 194.

10. Congressional Quarterly as cited in William Bennett, Index of Leading Cultural Indicators (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1994), p. 83.

11. U.S. Bureau of the Census, as published in the Statistical Abstracts of the U.S., October 1996, p. 99.

12. Robert G. DeMoss, Jr., Learn to Discern (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan Publishing House, 1992), pp. 14, 53.

13. Alfred North Whitehead, “The Rhythmic Claims of Freedom and Discipline,” in The Aims of Education and Other Essays (New York: New American Library, 1929), p. 46.

14. Robert Frost, “The Road Not Taken,” in Selected Poems of Robert Frost (New York: Holt, Rinehart, and Winston, 1963), pp. 71–72.

15. William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar (New York: Penguin Books, 1967), act 4, scene 3.

Habit 1: Be Proactive

1. M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1978), p. 83.

2. Questionnaire originally published in Stephen R. Covey, A. Roger Merrill, and Rebecca R. Merrill, First Things First. (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1994), pp. 62–63.

3. The phrase “Know thyself” is traditionally reported to have been given by the oracle at Delphi and was inscribed on the entrance to the temple. See Early Socratic Dialogues/Plato, edited with a general introduction by Trevor J. Saunders (New York: Penguin, 1987).

4. This quote is attributed to Saint Francis of Assisi and has served as an inspiration to thousands through the programs of Alcoholics Anonymous.

5. Glen C. Griffin, M.D., as featured in It Takes a Parent to Raise a Child. Used by permission.

6. Joseph Zinker, “On Public Knowledge and Public Revolution,” as quoted in Leo Buscaglia, Love (New York: Fawcett Crest, 1972), p. 49.

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

1. Victor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning (New York: Pocket Books, 1959), p. 98.

2. Benjamin Singer, “The Future-Focused Role-Image,” in Alvin Toffler, Learning for Tomorrow: The Role of the Future in Education (New York: Random House, 1974), pp. 19–32.

3. See Andrew Campbell and Laura Nash, A Sense of Mission (Reading, Mass.: Addison Wesley Longman, 1994). See also James Collins and Jerry Porras, Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies (New York: HarperCollins, 1996).

4. Benjamin Franklin, “Franklin’s Formula for Successful Living—Number Three,” The Art of Virtue (Eden Prairie, Minn.: Acorn Publications, 1986), p. 88.

Habit 3: Put First Things First

1. Rabindranath Tagore, 101 Poems (New York: Asia Publishing House, 1966).

2. Mary Pipher, The Shelter of Each Other (New York: Grosset/Putnam Books, 1996).

3. Ibid., pp. 194–195.

4. Urie Bronfenbrenner as quoted in Susan Byrne’s interview, “Nobody Home: The Erosion of the American Family,” Psychology Today, May 1977, pp. 41–47.

5. John Greenleaf Whittier, Maud Muller (New York: Houghton, Mifflin, 1866).

6. Robert G. DeMoss, Jr., Learn to Discern (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan Publishing House, 1992), p. 52.

7. Ibid., p. 14.

8. Arlie R. Hochschild, The Time Bind (New York: Metropolitan Books, 1997).

9. United States Supreme Court, Zablocki v. Redhail, no. 76-879; January 1978.

10. Wendell Berry, Sex, Economy, Freedom, and Community: Eight Essays (New York: Pantheon Books, 1993), pp. 125, 137-139.

11. Ibid., p. 139.

12. Betsy Morris, review of Arlie R. Hochschild, The Time Bind, in Fortune, May 1997.

13. U.S. Department of Commerce, Bureau of the Census, “Current Population Reports,” 1994.

14. Eve Arnold, “In God We Trust: Testing Personal Faith in a Cynical Age,” U.S. News & World Report, April 4, 1994, p. 56.

15. John Robinson and Geoffrey Godbey, Time for Life (Pennsylvania State University Press) as reviewed in Newsweek, May 12, 1997, p. 69.

16. Marilyn Ferguson, The Aquarian Conspiracy: Personal and Social Transformation in the 1980’s (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1980), p. 356.

17. Quoted from a speech given by author Stanley M. Davis at a conference in Asia in which we both participated.

18. U.S. Department of Justice, Strengthening America’s Families: Promising Parenting and Family Strategies for Delinquency Prevention (Office of Justice Programs, 1992).

19. Alexander Pope, The Best of Pope (New York: The Ronald Press Co., 1940), pp. 131–132.

20. Attributed to scholar, researcher, and psychologist Victor Cline.

21. Edward Gibbon, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, in Great Works of the Western World, vol. 37–38 (Chicago: Encyclopedia Britannica, 1990).

22. F. Byron Nahser and Susan E. Mehrtens, What’s Really Going On? (Chicago: Corporantes, 1993), p. 11.

23. William Doherty, The Intentional Family: How to Build Family Ties in Our Modern World (New York: Addison-Wesley, 1997), p. 10.

24. Patricia Voydanoff, “Economic Distress and Family Relations: A Review of the Eighties,” Journal of Marriage and the Family, 52 (November 1990), p. 1102. See also Lynn K. White, “Determinants of Divorce: A Review of Research in the Eighties,” Journal of Marriage and the Family, 52 (November 1990), p. 908.

25. This quote is attributed to both John Glenn and Neil Armstrong.

26. James B. Stockdale, A Vietnam Experience: Ten Years of Reflection (Stanford: Hoover Institution, Stanford University, 1984), p. 94.

Habit 4: Think “Win-Win”

1. J. S. Kirtley and Edward Bok, Half Hour Talks on Character Building by Self-Made Men and Women (Chicago: A. Hemming, 1910), p. 368.

2. Michael Novak, “The Family Out of Favor,” Harper’s Magazine, April 1976, pp. 39, 42.

3. Catherine Johnson, Lucky in Love: The Secrets of Happy Couples and How Their Marriages Thrive (New York: Viking Penguin, 1992).

4. Frederick Herzberg, Work and the Nature of Man (New York: World Publishing Co., 1966), pp. 71–91.

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand … Then to Be Understood

1. The books and authors mentioned here are as follows:
Deborah Tannen, You Just Don’t Understand: Men and Women in Conversation (New York: Ballantine Books, 1990).
John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (New York: HarperCollins, 1992).
Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person (Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1961).
Thomas Gordon, Parent Effectiveness Training (New York: New American Library, 1975).
Haim Ginott, Between Parent and Child (New York: Macmillan, 1970). See also
Haim Ginott, Between Parent and Teenager (New York: Macmillan, 1969).

2. Gordon B. Hinckley, “What God Hath Joined Together,” Ensign, May 1991, p. 72.

3. C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: Macmillan, 1952), pp. 109–10.

4. Note: Many helpful informational pamphlets can be found through your local health department, your doctor’s office, or the government. Also, we recommend the following as excellent references for those wanting to know more:
Arlene Eisenberg, Heidi E. Murkoff, and Sandee E. Hathaway, What to Expect the First Year (New York: Workman Publishing, 1989).
———. What to Expect the Toddler Years (New York: Workman Publishing, 1994).
Penelope Leach, Your Baby and Child (New York: Knopf Publishing, 1989).
T. Berry Brazelton, Touchpoints (Reading, Mass.: Addison Wesley Longman Publishing, 1992).

Habit 6: Synergize

1. Victor Cline, How to Make Your Child a Winner (New York: Walker and Company, 1980), pp. 216–226, and Victor Cline, Roger Croft, and Steven Courrier, “Desensitization of Children to Television Violence,” Journal of Personal and Social Psychology, vol. 27 (3), September 1973, pp. 360–63.

2. See Larry Tucker, “The Relationship of Television Viewing to Physical Fitness,” Adolescence, vol. 21 (89), 1986, pp. 797–806.

3. See Report on Television and Behavior by the National Institute of Mental Health (Washington, D.C., 1982). See also Susan Newman, “The Home Environment and Fifth Grade Students’ Leisure Reading,” Elementary School Journal, January 1988, vol. 86 (3), pp. 335–43.

4. Ibid., Report on Television and Behavior.

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

1. Richard L. Evans, Richard Evans’ Quote Book (Salt Lake City: Publishers Press, 1971), p. 16.

2. Marianne Jennings, “Kitchen Table Vital to Family Life,” Deseret News, February 9, 1997. Reprinted with permission.

3. Dale Johnson, “Sex Differences in Reading Across Cultures,” Reading Research Quarterly, vol. 9 (1), 1973.

4. CNN/USA Today/Gallup Poll (Princeton, N.J., December 16–18, 1994).

5. David G. Myers, The Pursuit of Happiness (New York: William Morrow & Company, 1992), pp. 177–204.

6. C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: Macmillan, 1976), pp. 164–65.

7. You might want to read the following:
Frank Walters, Book of the Hopi (New York: Ballantine, 1963).
James Allen, As a Man Thinketh (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1983).
Henry David Thoreau, Walden (New York: Carlton House, 1940).
William Bennett, The Book of Virtues (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1993).
Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, Chicken Soup for the Soul (Deerfield Beach, Fla.: Health Communications, 1993).

From Survival … to Stability … to Success … to Significance

1. Kurt Lewin, Field Theory in Special Science (New York: Harper, 1951), p. 183.

2. W. Edwards Deming, Out of the Crisis (Cambridge: Massachusetts Institute of Technology, 1982), pp. 66–67.

3. Urie Bronfenbrenner, as quoted in Susan Byrne’s interview, “Nobody Home: The Erosion of the American Family,” Psychology Today, May 1977, pp. 41–47. See also a study by E. E. Maccoby and J. A. Martin, “Socialization in the Context of the Family: Parent–Child Interaction,” in P. H. Mussen (ed.), Handbook of Child Psychology, vol. 4 (New York: John Wiley, 1983), pp. 1–101.

4. Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love (New York: HarperCollins, 1992), p. 165.

5. The Complete Poems and Plays of T. S. Eliot (London: Faber and Faber, 1969), p. 197.

6. Albert E. N. Gray, “The Common Denominator of Success,” a speech given at the Prudential Insurance Company of America (Newark, New Jersey, 1983).