Play Is a Need
Now that we have carried ourselves beyond the survival mode of the reptilian brain, we can move on to a discussion of the paleomammalian (PM), or midbrain. The midbrain is our emotional center and the location of many automatic reactions. It does not involve itself in higher reasoning, which I will visit in the next chapter. In this chapter, think of yourself more as a puppy, with immediate needs and reactions, than an enlightened creator.
The PM brain is composed of the hippocampus, hypothalamus, and amygdala. The hippocampus is associated with memory, especially long-term, and some spatial abilities. The hypothalamus is very busy maintaining homeostatic balance throughout the body and coordinates with the hormonal and nervous systems. The amygdala is associated with emotional expression and learning about extreme emotions in order to respond more appropriately next time. Because of its role in ensuring survival, it is highly associated with fear and aggression.
Researchers are beginning to explore the role of the hippocampus, hypothalamus, and amygdala of the paleomammalian brain in creativity. Findings indicate that our emotional centers may inspire creative works and the PM brain supports creative thinking when we take proper care of ourselves, but, apart from some interesting findings about the amygdala (emotional expression), the PM brain does not play a direct role in creativity. Interestingly, in conditions where we feel threatened, the amygdala signals back into the hindbrain to tell the lizard that all is not well. On the other hand, when we feel safe, seen, and cared for, the amygdala is more likely to signal forward into the forebrain (higher reason) and help promote creative thinking.
In order to keep the PM brain balanced, we need our physiological and emotional needs cared for. Similar to the hindbrain, the midbrain also needs to feel safe; however, this higher PM brain includes emotional safety along with the basic biological needs the reptilian brain is concerned with. Nourishing the PM brain with self-care activities and community support sustains our overall enlightenment by ensuring that our more basic needs are met and increasing its connectivity with the forebrain and centers associated with higher thought. The following exercise helps you clarify specific ways you can tend to your own PM brain.
Exercise: Accessing the Creative Potential in Stored Emotions
There is great potential stored in the part of your brain that harbors emotions. Oftentimes, we do not process our painful experiences all the way to resolution. What this means is that the brain and nervous system still carry those impressions of pain. They still affect us. The good news is, we can continue processing those old feelings and experiences through creative expression. Follow the next exercise to experiment with connecting to that old pain. Remember to check in with your therapist before and after, especially if you have past trauma. Go gently with yourself and, even though this is about letting old wounds express, it is also meant to be fun. Stay mindful and witness the process objectively.
Step 1: Think of something that scared you in the past that you now avoid. Your amygdala helped teach you to do that. Even now while you are thinking about it, your amygdala is probably connecting with your reptilian brain. This is happening from sheer habit and you can train it to connect to the forebrain instead. Keep yourself safe and work with a memory that you have already processed a bit, not something that will trigger a traumatic incident. If you choose something from your traumatic history, make sure you have an appointment lined up with your therapist and a crisis line number nearby in case you need to process.
Step 2: Using the personal example from step 1, identify the beneficial lessons that arose from that frightening situation. What did you learn about yourself? Did anything lovely arise, either directly or indirectly, as a result of it?
Step 3: The amygdala helped you process the intense emotions that surrounded that frightening thing, in addition to training you to avoid it in the future. Let’s tap into those old emotions and channel them into your creative resources. Without applying any language and with the grounding help of your breath, grab a crayon, or, if you can make a big mess, a paintbrush in each hand and move your body in a way that “describes” the intense feelings. Maybe your arms flail. Perhaps you punch or stab the canvas. You can spin or jump or slash while you express. You may make some sounds. Do your best to stay connected to your breath and present in the moment. You are completely safe and choosing to use this old fear as an impetus for creativity. Remember that this is only a page or canvas and your physical expression will not cause harm to anyone else. This is a private moment between you, your brain, and your emotions.
Step 4: When you have spent your expression, give yourself a gentle, loving reward of some kind (the amygdala loves these). Soak in a hot bath, massage your skull, or do one of the relaxations from this book. Affirm that you are physically secure now and it is safe to feel and express your emotions.
You may return to this exercise in times when your creative well has run dry. Our old pains offer a wealth of expressive potential. The initial, raw material might not be the beautiful product you are looking for but it is so real that new expressive styles and inspirations arise. It has the added benefit of altering your neural patterns and connecting you more deeply with your enlightened Self while decoupling old connections to that selfish lizard hindbrain.
An overactive amygdala is associated with anxiety, which in turn limits our creative potential. Anxiety narrows our attention and keeps us looking at life through the eyes of fear. The only thing anxiety helps us create is more fear and visions of all the things that could go wrong. I offer a wealth of exercises and insights about transforming anxiety into confidence in Yoga Therapy for Stress and Anxiety. By transcending your anxious habits, you free yourself to explore more diverse and authentic modes of self-expression.
We feel safer and more engaged in expressing ourselves when connected with like-minded others. This community mindedness is a fundamental mammalian need. The PM brain perceives social rejection as a physical threat. Let this exercise help you find ways to seek out and connect with your people.
Step 1: You’ve already been doing this step throughout the book: step 1 is “Get to know your true Self.” Learn about what you believe, what is important to you, what you enjoy, how you interact with the world, who you wish to be.
Step 2: You’ve been doing this one, too: understand what is going on beneath the programs that run in your mind and, as you deprogram, express yourself more freely and fully. As we are truthful in our self-expression, those who are like us harmonize with that and join in.
Step 3: Have you been doing this one yet? Get out there! Your tribe is not going to come to you if you hide behind closed doors. No one is saying “Let’s get over to 1368 Burdock Ave. Jo is crooning melodies that would bring tears to our eyes. We’ll feel so seen!” No. Your tribe, for the most part, is hiding behind their own closed doors. I believe that the more we create or join clubs, attend meet-ups/workshops/retreats, and support local spiritual, artistic, social, and political endeavors, the more others will do the same. Through this action, we find one another.
Step 4 (Optional): If you are more of an introverted type, as both yogis and creatives often are, you may wish to be more discerning about how you get out there. Some folks do very well with trial-and-error (going to anything and everything then leaving if it isn’t their scene). If for whatever reason you find it harder to get out of the house, try this:
- Peruse local television stations, libraries, crafting stores, music shops, coffee houses, newspapers, dance or yoga studios, e-zines, tourist sites, Facebook events, high school and college websites, and www.meetup.com to explore options that pique your interest. Be sure to jot down all your ideas on a comprehensive list.
- Review your list and circle three to five events you find most enticing, inspiring, or appealing.
- Commit to attending an average of one per week. If that feels like too much, try one per month, or each time loneliness feels overwhelming.
- Invite a friend to go with you if it helps you get out there.
Finding your tribe takes effort and it is totally worth it. The more we express our authentic selves, the less we fit a typical societal mold. Nobody likes or needs to feel lonely. There is actually a neurological cost to isolation, not to mention the emotional ones. Many people will resonate with you, but it does take some effort to find them. The more we venture out of our houses to things that truly call us, the more we will discover and connect with one another. I hope you come out and play soon!
Play
I once ran a retreat about healing trauma and related the three brains to yoga therapy principles that help us overcome a painful past. In that workshop, the group brainstormed fundamental mammalian needs: survival basics, community, touch, love, order, leadership … It wasn’t long before they started repeating themselves, but they missed one key need. “There’s something you’re forgetting … think of your dog.”
“Food!” “Discipline!” “Exercise!” They couldn’t come up with it. After ten minutes, I left the room and told them to relax and think about it. “Could you just tell us?” they asked.
I said, “The reason I’m not telling you is I need you to understand how far off your radar this is.”
Eventually, someone thought of play. We went outside and had recess for grown-ups. Some played Frisbee; others kicked a soccer ball around. A small group played hide-and-go-seek. I highly recommend it.
Many adults have forgotten how to play, or they think that we aren’t supposed to. As you connect to your creative essence and child self, you will become clearer and clearer on the importance of play. Some of the most enlightened people on our planet are incredibly playful. Have you heard the Dalai Lama laugh? He does it all the time! As we connect more deeply to our spiritual selves, it’s easier to take most of life in stride. As we open to the creative Self, we perceive more opportunities to enjoy life. The more open our minds and hearts, the more we can see the humor and lightheartedness in all things.
This exercise reminds you of some ways to play as an adult. After years of being programmed to work hard, achieve, and fit in, it can take some time to get back in touch with our playful selves. Cultivating a playful attitude keeps us creative. This is especially true if you come from a rigid or violent home, or had to grow up too soon. Even if it makes you feel uncomfortable at first, seek out some fun and playfulness.
Step 1: Remember what you did for fun when you were three or four years old? How about eight or ten? Did you ever play creative games? Even sculpting dough, coloring books, and paint-by-numbers give hints about your early creative aptitudes and interests.
Step 2: Remember the last time you let loose and had fun. I don’t necessarily mean being raucous or a troublemaker—just clean, happy times. If you can’t remember, you aren’t alone. Many adults have had the fun “lifed” right out of them. Even if it was thirty years ago, remember.
Step 3: Remember that life is meant to be fun and there are playful opportunities all around you right now. Yes, now. Look.
Step 4: List activities that make you feel giddy, free, safe, and invigorated. Can you be silly? Prove it.
Step 5 (optional): If you need help busting out of your stoic self, spend the next hour speaking complete gibberish. Don’t do this at work, but at home it is a safe activity. It is much more amusing to do it with others, though. Call up a silly or creative friend and tell them you want to practice a new language and they can join in. You may be amazed to find that after a few minutes of gibberish, you begin to understand one another.
Your amygdala is so happy that you are remembering the intense emotion of “fun.” Even if you have trouble playing as an adult, there are many opportunities out there. There’s play in asana and most other forms of movement. There’s play in just putting on music and doing what your body wants to do. The swing set is always good for adults, even if all you do is sit on a swing and rock gently. If your wrists will tolerate cartwheels, keep cartwheeling. Or do somersaults in the pool. Speak in a funny voice or wear outrageous clothes. Look for the joke in everything; it’s always there.
Spend as much time as possible with people who make you laugh. Find ways to make others laugh. Continue saying yes to fun and playful opportunities. As you do, enjoy the way it improves your health and point of view, as well as making life itself feel more like a creative act. Speaking of playing like grown-ups and creative acts, what about sex?
Shagging
Birds do it; bees do it; it’s natural. Some yogis practice abstinence (brahmacharya) as an aspect of their spirituality. This is to direct sexual energy toward the sacred. Most people in today’s society, however, are sexually active. Sex can be a spiritual practice that connects us to our creative essence more deeply. See for yourself via the following exercise.
This exercise is for any sexual person. You do not need a partner to perform this. Follow the steps and enjoy a sexual form of play.
Step 1: Select a partner. This can be a consensual partner, the divine, your own body, or an idea/concept such as possibility, infinity, or creativity.
Step 2: Spend quiet time meditating or communing with your partner. Practices such as intentional breath, eye gazing, or sounding are excellent connectors. Keep a delicate smile on your face and beaming through your eyes. Although you are sincere, do not be serious.
Step 3: Pay attention to the subtle realms as you activate more sexual, pleasurable feelings. Be aware of breath, thoughts, shared emotions, and a continual sense of connection.
Step 4: As pleasure heightens, continue feeding it back into your original intention. Remain relaxed and happy. Do not get caught in a personal agenda or thought of outcome. Be present to the subtleties of what is happening by keeping step 3 vital. If you feel the peak coming, take a break or repeat step 2. Be playful, silly, and joyful about this experience. Allow your whole personality to shine through as you connect with inner (and outer) divinity via pleasure.
Step 5 (optional): After delaying gratification a few times, head into climax with faith that you are approaching a divine moment. Through connection with your chosen partner, perceive a launch into transcendent space. As you prolong this expansion (the more times you repeat step 4, typically, the longer you will bask in step 5), be intentional about the divine qualities you are contacting. As the peaking waves begin to subside, be clear about what divine qualities or future possibilities you draw from this pure well of goodness. Trust that you are integrating them into yourself.
Step 6: Whether you stopped at step 4 or 5, spend some time relaxing and integrating the experience. Focus on the intentions and qualities you carried with you during this playful, pleasurable time. Imagine them weaving into your being. The next time you embark upon a creative endeavor, call these qualities forth.
Sex may be the original creative act. When approached properly, it can connect us to higher creation and our own creative potential. We waste energy when we indulge in disconnected or addictive sex. We cultivate purpose and inspiration when we approach it intentionally. Its power can support all of our endeavors. Sex, however, is not necessary if you are abstinent. The following platonic practice gives you similar access to connection, play, and creativity.
Exercise: Yoga Posture Practice: Playful Partner Poses
This exercise invites more laughter and connection into your life. Repeat it with as many different people as possible. Feel welcome to try some of your own favorite yoga poses with a partner, too.
Step 1: Invite a friend, loved one, or pet to practice some simple yoga postures with you (you get to be extra creative if you are working with a pet). Enjoy the experience of being creative and playful together. This isn’t an exercise regime (although that is another fun way to play); rather, it is a chance to explore movement and touch in the context of a healthful practice. Go for a quick walk or do some gentle movements to warm up.
Step 2: Spine/Breath Connection—Set your yoga mats with the long edges together or find a clean floor or grassy lawn to play on. Begin by sitting back-to-back. Notice how you hold one another up. This is a nice connection! As you let your own breath deepen, also sense your partner’s breath deepening. What happens if you try to coordinate your breathing patterns?
Step 3: Forward/Backward Bend—Extend your legs out in front of you, in line with the hips or in a wide V-shape. Without making a verbal agreement, sense which partner is going to lean back and which will lean forward. Observe how you negotiate the movement without using your words. Be gentle so each person is able to stop when they have leaned forward/backward far enough. How do you know it is time to come out of the pose and switch?
Step 4: Twist—If your legs are crossed, cross them the other way. If they are straight, widen the distance between the feet. If they are already wide, great. Link elbows with your partner and sit tall. Do your best to keep the backs of your shoulders connected to one another as you rotate to one side. Move slowly so no one gets pushed beyond healthy limits. Without speaking, decide together when it is time to twist to the other side. You may repeat this action a few times and even try it standing up. Stay playful. Are there ways to joke around without using words?
Step 5: Side Bending—Come to standing, if you aren’t already, and once again settle back-to-back. Straighten your arms out to the sides and have the taller partner bring the arms overtop so that you can place each palm against your partner’s. With hands, heels, and backs united, begin bending from side-to-side, keeping the arms to the sides. If you are feeling very playful, you may make airplane noises and experiment with bending in different directions, such as forward, backward, or diagonally, as well. How does laughter effect the flow of movements and the postures themselves?
Step 6: Balance—Stand side-by-side, hip-to-hip, facing the same direction as your partner, with an arm around each other’s waists. Outside arm can go anywhere. Ground through the foot of the inside (partner side) leg. Each partner lifts the outside knee. Stabilize against each other’s standing leg/torso as you bring your outside knees to hip height in front of you. Help each other stay upright and balanced as you each bring your lifted (outside) knee across the center and aim to touch each other’s lifted knees together in front of you. After you have played around for a while, face the other direction and repeat the pose on the other side.
Step 7: Have each partner come up with a movement or posture you can do together. Be creative and safe; there is no right or wrong here.
Step 8: On a big piece of paper, create a joint expression of the fun, physical time you just shared. You may create independently but together, or allow each person’s color and lines to inform what you put on the page.
This exercise of sharing physical and creative space with a trusted loved one nourishes the PM brain and soaks it with oxytocin, the bonding chemical. It is very uplifting to touch and laugh together. Did you notice that your creative resources were close to the surface in this happy, connected environment? Perhaps this carries over in to life: the next time you get stuck on a project, try creating in the same space as someone you feel close to.
Coworking
This principle of “coworking,” like parallel play or meditating in a room full of people, soothes our midbrain and amplifies our productivity. Group energy is invigorating and inspiring. We feel like we are a part of something, even when we are doing our own thing. People are more motivated when working in a shared space and, even when completing a different project from everyone else, tend to put more effort and commitment to the task at hand. The simple presence of another being improves and supports us.
The Joy Habit
Another benefit to getting out of the house and connecting to the outer world and people in it is all the joy that awaits us. It’s true that there are few places happier than our own homes; however, in the wide, beautiful, magical world outside our doors there lie opportunities and chance meetings we wouldn’t have even considered. Furthermore, when we head out while being open to the enriching things that could happen, they usually do.
Joy, and anticipating joy, are habits of the mind. When the PM brain busies itself avoiding pain and lamenting loneliness, there is little room for joy to enter. If, instead, we acknowledge and actively seek that which inspires and uplifts us, we are nourished on all levels. Commit yourself to seeking and acknowledging joy rather than looking for what’s missing. This joy habit reprograms your brain and really changes its size and shape in some areas. That effect is amplified if you apply some meditation or movement along with the quest for joy. The next chapter talks more about cultivating this sustained upliftedness through the neocortex, or neomammalian brain.